₦airaland Forum

ivyy:
Oshey but remove that mentality from your head biko

ivyy:
Oshey but remove that mentality from your head biko

ivyy:
Oshey but remove that mentality from your head biko

ivyy:
Oshey but remove that mentality from your head biko

ivyy:
Oshey but remove that mentality from your head biko

Samyj247:
Ok o, I will exempt only u frm ds attutude cus u seem "good", dnt ask me o, cus if I see good girls, I de kno.
Ok o, I will exempt only u frm ds attutude cus u seem "good", dnt ask me o, cus if I see good girls, I de kno.

Samyj247:
ivyy
I dash u all d comment

ivyy:

Samyj247:
Lol, i de tel u o girls jst need a made man. No mind dem, dem no want work hard. See as all of dem de claim good adviser jst to catch ur attention. I don get new style now of getn babes.

caesaraba:
Guy, you were young when you said those words however, I think you need to perform some kinda penance if you need to get out of this. Then you can talk about forgiving yourself and moving on. Go see qualified persons who'd deal frankly with you. Wish you the best.

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

I think that penance thing is what I need to do but how..

carefreewannabe:
Of what use would penance be? You have been punishing yourself for many years now, did it help?

How about transforming guilt into something good, for example help and charity?

mutter:
You were too young and the situation was just too much for you.
Your anger was a way of blocking out the pain.
You were angry with your father, with faith, with destiny, with him not being able to perform as a father.
It is a very normal reaction.
My mother fell into a coma and we were all not able to really stay by her bed and care for her. It was only my dad that could do that.
The reason being that we were so scared and afraid.
We tried to block it out in different ways and I tried to block my pain at being angry at my mum. IT is easier to deal with anger than pain.
When she died many years later, she never really recovered. We buried her but not the guilt.
Finally I came to realize that when a loved one goes in such a way you always feel guilty, you always feel you never did enough. You could have spent more time, showed more love...

You see your father loves you and nothing you could do will take that love away. When you have your own children you will understand how much and how strong the love of parent is. A love that is unconditional and that forgives everything.
The only thing your father will never forgive you for is if you end your life.
Choose life and live.
Your father would have given anything in the world to live and stand by you and help you grow int0 a happy man.
God did not grant him that length of time.
So live for your father and fulfill his dreams.
.. and then one day when you have a son give him your fathers name. Then anytime your little boy cries and you call him by his name and take him into your hands, your father will smile down at you.

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

I think that penance thing is what I need to do but how..

fem29:
OP please you have to forgive yourself. Just thinking back to how foolish I was when I was 14 I really feel for you. Its good that you were sorry almost immediately. Your father still loves you.

I think you should sit or mum down and tell her about thus and the anguish you have been going through, kneel down and beg for forgiveness.

Please note we all make mistakes but we cannot let the rest of our lives be about that mistake. Sometimes , we remember it and feel momentary pain and sadness but we have to have the ability to literally feel the pain then put it aside . try to feel the joy of just being alive and having our family around us.

So I advise talk to your mum, go to your dads grave side, ask fior his forgiveness, then put it aside. Your father would not want to be a miserable human being. Set up a charity in your father s name.

Live life, be Happy

mutter:
You were too young and the situation was just too much for you.
Your anger was a way of blocking out the pain.
You were angry with your father, with faith, with destiny, with him not being able to perform as a father.
It is a very normal reaction.
My mother fell into a coma and we were all not able to really stay by her bed and care for her. It was only my dad that could do that.
The reason being that we were so scared and afraid.
We tried to block it out in different ways and I tried to block my pain at being angry at my mum. IT is easier to deal with anger than pain.
When she died many years later, she never really recovered. We buried her but not the guilt.
Finally I came to realize that when a loved one goes in such a way you always feel guilty, you always feel you never did enough. You could have spent more time, showed more love...

You see your father loves you and nothing you could do will take that love away. When you have your own children you will understand how much and how strong the love of parent is. A love that is unconditional and that forgives everything.
The only thing your father will never forgive you for is if you end your life.
Choose life and live.
Your father would have given anything in the world to live and stand by you and help you grow int0 a happy man.
God did not grant him that length of time.
So live for your father and fulfill his dreams.
.. and then one day when you have a son give him your fathers name. Then anytime your little boy cries and you call him by his name and take him into your hands, your father will smile down at you.

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

My dear I have done that and more.
But guilt will not let me be at peace.

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

Abeg if it works let me know.

Samyj247:
no worry, I go do am next week, but make u do as if u no no wetin de sup o

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]h

My mum is old and fragile I don't think telling her is a good idea...

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

I have tried for 18 years to do that and failed

Achilies:
[color=#006600][/color]

I have done all that and more.
But that feeling is always at the back of my heart. It has become unbearable lately. If I don't get help soon I might just end it all and at peace

Achilies:
My name is achillies.

I am from idemili North in anambra state. Was born some thirty years ago in jos. I was brought up in a good christian family . My childhood was fun and adventurous. My parents give us their children all the necessary things we need to become successful in life. And disciplined us whenever we misbehaved.

This story is about me and my late father
You see my father was a very quiet and thoughtful man. He spent All of his life thinking, planning and doing things that will make us his children proud, comfortable and ready for the challenges ahead ( I can remember when he sold his car and my mum sold her wrappers just to rise money for our school fees. We are seven in number)

My father loved us and me in particular in his own way. He was not the emotional or the out spoken type, but he was a man among men.. he showed us love and discipline us with cane and words of advice. He sacrificed a lot to give us the best.

For all the love my father showed us. The only way I got to thank him was to wish him death.

I was 14 years old when my My father collapse on July 3 1997 from stress related issues and was rushed to the hospital three days later he was discharged with instructions from the doctor to take thing easy.

I was supposed to be the one to take care of him during daytime. A responsibility I neglected. As a child I was stubborn to the core.

On the 10th of that same month my father called me and asked me a question. My reply to that question will hunt me till my dyeing days.
He said to me : my son, why have you abandoned your father? Why are you not taking care of me as you should?? I felt guilty but soon by guilt turned to anger and
Out of that anger I murmured why don't he just die and let us be. I don't know if he heard me or not ..but that was the last time I spoke to my father. three days later on the 13th of July 1997, he was rushed to the hospital after complaining of chest pain.

I cried that night because of the things I said to him three day earlier and somehow I knew that night will be the last time I will see him alive..

All through the time he was at the hospital I prayed, hopped for an opportunity to see him but I never had the chance to visit him If not for anything at least to apologise for my earlier and childish remark

On the 20th July 1997 by 7pm my father died of heart failure . I never got the opportunity to apologise to my father . (whether he heard me spoke those words or not ) I never got the chance to apologise. The last words I spoke to my father was for him to die and let me be.

Somehow I can't help but feel that those words broke the heart of my father and killed him.. those words are the single most regrettable event in my life.

18 years after the death of my father. I still feel the pains and burden of those words
Guilt, sadness depression and sorrow has been my companion over the years. No matter how hard I tried I just can't forgive myself
now am tired I can't bear this burden anymore..

At 33 I am a made man. I have the very best life can offer but I lack the most important thing of all. HAPPINESS AND PEACE OF MIND.

Lately death has been on my mind. It seems to be my only source of comfort and my escape from this nightmare I brought upon myself..

I need advice before I go on a journey before my time.

Samyj247:
op see how all ds girls are claiming who they ar nt. U will notice dat it is only girls dat made comment on ds post, do u kno why? It is bcus of a the word u used on ds thread, which is ds "I AM A MADE MAN". Dnt mind dem de are jst pretending, so as to get ur attention. Although, they gave nice advice dat seems like a competition. lol, for me, go to ur pastor nd split it out. No mind ds girls o, if tu se u say u b barrow pusher, non of dem for comment here.

somegirl1:
Lol
Good sense of humour detected.

Without intending to dispute or dismiss the OP's declaration, I actually love his confidence, I'm sure Nigerian woman aren't that shallow and if they are, they'd hopefully be smart enough to know that "made" is relative.
A motorbike owner who used to be a truckpusher might consider himself made whilst a governor hoping to be president some day may not consider himself made.



Dear OP,
Let it go.
Put yourself in your dad's shoes. Would you want your child carrying a burden like this for as long as you have?

Samyj247:
U make sense jare, but OP say him fit get anytn him wnt o, or did D op mean dat He can get kulikuli anytime he wnts, lol, abeg op no vex na play o, .......runs off.

"Want" is also relative o
Might be kuli kuli but I doubt that a full Dimkpa nwoke would be referring to that as a want.

somegirl1:

"Want" is also relative o
Might be kuli kuli but I doubt that a full Dimkpa nwoke would be referring to that as a want.

somegirl1:

"Want" is also relative o
Might be kuli kuli but I doubt that a full Dimkpa nwoke would be referring to that as a want.

Samyj247:
okwa ife mu ne eche o, but who knows sha, u en its like u ar an economist or an economic student, I tnk his want is unlimited in supply cus him na made man o, hmmm If ds op see me de drop point for him head, I go spoil our deal o, I dun run.
okwa ife mu ne eche o, but who knows sha, u en its like u ar an economist or an economic student, I tnk his want is unlimited in supply cus him na made man o, hmmm If ds op see me de drop point for him head, I go spoil our deal o, I dun run.r

Hopefully our banter would put a smile on his face.


It's well OP