₦airaland Forum

The fact that you're raised in Nigeria( regardless of how you turned out to be) is not a Mandatory LAW / Licence to raise your kids the "African way"( whatever that means).

This is exactly why MOST Nigerians in diaspora avoid each other (sneer, troubles, rumours and backbiting) .. Very judgemental and condescending lot I must say.

There's no need talking other peoples parenting skills down. Everybody should train their OWN kids as they PLEASE. Nobody gets hurt. Period.

Ewuro4:
Soooo if I get you right.. African way is the ONLY Right way? My kids for example are only African in their schools, we don't attend Nigerian church, NO SINGLE NIGERIAN in their extra curricular activities(skating/hockeyetc) ... ETC...SO does that mean they'll lack manners and not do well??

I thought you're here to learn from diasporean parents and not attack people's POVs but Seem you have an agenda...Not worth my time abeg. I'll rather watch

Visit a Nigerian church and you will not regret your decision LMAO. My mom came to visit me and wanted to go to a Nigerian church. That poor woman almost worked herself into a stroke that day. She was like does nobody have a cane here? I just told her not to embarrass me. She was giving some serious stink eye to some of the parents. I will not raise my kids in any so called Nigerian way. I will raise them the way my parents raised me with some improvement as expected

soulglo:
Visit a Nigerian church and you will not regret your decision LMAO.

And why is that so? Coz those kids are spoiled so mine will also fit in there? smh

soulglo:
I will not raise my kids in any so called Nigerian way. I will raise them the way my parents raised me with some improvement as expected

Really? And if it won't be a bother, can you please elaborate on those improvements you hope to incorporate into the old school parenting ? Please please I really want to know

soulglo:
Some of the things read here coming from Nigerians raised in Nigeria shock the hell out of me.

Shocked?? Make up your mind woman. Is "African way" the best or not. Stop dilly dallying

milychocs:
I love the phrase, "supremely black and proud"
In other news....can an African woman who wears weaves (fake hair eg Brazilian or Peruvian) be ever termed "supremely black and proud?"
It might not ring true, I guess

Okay....you guys continue....
I just had to ramble a bit

I dunno but I think we've all grown up subconsciously to accept weaves, lace-front, and wigs as part of the aesthetics of the average black woman these days cos almost every chic and her momma wear them. Hence whenever you see a black woman with natural hair, she looks exotic, refreshing, and attractive.

So, since it's the norm now, you have to accept it as part of being "supremely black and proud" and judge based on mentality not appearance. However, it might change in future cos fashion always repeat itself. And in the nearest future, the 70s and 80s "black is beautiful" era with Afro might return - just as fade haircuts (hi, low, polished etc..) are now in vogue with guys. Shyte, I've got a hi-top fade looking like Big Daddy Kane from the 80s on my head.

mutter:
We can debate on spanking but the truth is that at an age it does not bring anything. As a teenage my dad would flog us brutally if we did certain things like going out. After a certain age I just made sure that I committed that offense to the fullest to justify the beating!

If you teach a child right from birth how to heed to you you don`t need to spank the kid. Just watch babies when they are born. A child may come to the world and be so peaceful but then so many visitors, carry here and there and some even swinging the baby and working around, before a few days the baby does not fall asleep without a roller-coaster drive on the mothers hand. Then you have the other extreme of parents who want to hear a pin drop when baby is asleep, very soon the baby gets scared at the slightest sound.
So right from day one you can have an influence on the child.
Some parents make the big mistake of waiting too long before trying to take up their duties as regards this. Sometimes I see parents stuffing their 4 year olds with snacks in church just to keep them quiet In many cases I think it is the parents and not the kids that have the problem and need training- This has nothing to do with race. The fact is that people all over the world are moving away from an antiauthoritarian system of raising the kids but are just overdoing it and do not realize that a child needs boundaries. Without boundaries a child is insecure and confused, it has to carry a heavy load because it no longer has the yardstick- if mum and dad would get angry then this it is wrong.

Another very important thing about kids is this. WE ALL WANT OUR KIDS TO B THE BEST but this dream rarely comes true. Stand by your child especially when it is down, has made mistakes and is on the wrong path. No matter how impossible it seems never give up on kid`s because as long as you don't ´say no, God will never say no. Keep praying and talking and offering help and scolding but whatever you do, don`t tamper with the dignity of the child, don`t humiliate the child or make it loose self esteem. You would be destroying something you can never build up again.

Brilliant!

What an absolutely brilliant post. The bolded bit is just the pure, undiluted truth.

You completely nailed this, mutter!

I dunno but I think we've all grown up subconsciously to accept weaves, lace-front, and wigs as part of the aesthetics of the average black woman these days cos almost every chic and her momma wear them. Hence whenever you see a black woman with natural hair, she looks exotic, refreshing, and attractive.

So, since it's the norm now, you have to accept it as part of being "supremely black and proud" and judge based on mentality not appearance. However, it might change in future cos fashion always repeat itself. And in the nearest future, the 70s and 80s "black is beautiful" era with Afro might return - just as fade haircuts (hi, low, polished etc..) are now in vogue with guys. Shyte, I've got a hi-top fade looking like Big Daddy Kane from the 80s on my head.

Well....weaves.....the epitome of what we are not
I simply haaateee

I am not quite where I want to be, with celebrating my African-ness, not by a long shot...but I can safely say wearing weaves is no longer part of me
For which I am supremely thankful
If I had more time, I would embark on a love your hair campaign
I am soo sure people would buy it
Some people wear weaves cos they do not know they can not not wear them

milychocs:
Well....weaves.....the epitome of what we are not
I simply haaateee

I am not quite where I want to be, with celebrating my African-ness, not by a long shot...but I can safely say wearing weaves is no longer part of me
For which I am supremely thankful
If I had more time, I would embark on a love your hair campaign
I am soo sure people would buy it
Some people wear weaves cos they do not know they can not wear them

Nice. Way to go.

Natural hair always look exotic.