₦airaland Forum

ajixkhid1:
Am sorry but I don't understand you please

Me too.

if you want attention then go to lagos international airport raise your hands up and shout...I am boko haram..Allah u akbar.....thank me later because you will be overwhelmed by the attention

Op must have spent years studying Charly boy, Denrele and Obahiagbon

Hahahaha. Alright wierdo, I have a brain fart reading this funny rubbish. I only wonder how much electrons were terribly inconvenienced in writing this nonsense. Nairaland needs to hire an editor(me,), shit like this won't make it to the front page.

I want manuals on how to become a Money Magnet en yu ar there Talking abt njoying Insanity:::::::::

kuuljay:
if you want attention then go to lagos international airport raise your hands up and shout...I am boko haram..Allah u akbar.....thank me later because you will be overwhelmed by the attention

. you funny die. The attention he will get go pass the one Osama bin laden got after sept 11.

kuuljay:
if you want attention then go to lagos international airport raise your hands up and shout...I am boko haram..Allah u akbar.....thank me later because you will be overwhelmed by the attention

aahh bros u 9ce oo u even 2face

kuuljay:
if you want attention then go to lagos international airport raise your hands up and shout...I am boko haram..Allah u akbar.....thank me later because you will be overwhelmed by the attention

aahh oga ooo u
9ce oo u even 2face

How to be weird online.
Adopt a mantra...post it on every and any thread. E.g.:
GEJ till 2019
GMB till 2019
shoro niyen
are you light skin?
garri crusaders of yesteryears and so on.

If you really want to raise eyebrows, refuse to drive a Toyota and do not use Blackberry. I just don't understand why people like follow follow in Naija.

Adaobi12:
. you funny die. The attention he will get go pass the one Osama bin laden got after sept 11.

lol.. by the time mopol finish with you if any of ya family recognise you na him be say you lucky

Why is this crap on FP

pheyhi:
aahh bros u 9ce oo u even 2face

op want make una weird to get attention nah! am only helping out

why would i want to be weird

Ok na, i respect ur weirdness

I do almost all of these things.

Thank God I found this in the Jokes section.
Tufiakwa!

All I can say is "odikwa very risky"

dantewest:
Being a Nigerian is gradually changing into something else. No one wants to be the same anymore, besides, being yourself doesn’t make you feel satisfied. We act a little bit weird to stand out. Before reading further, remember, you want to be weird and not crazy! Finding the thin line between both is a matter of perception.

Step 1

Get your own unique hangout joints and give it a weird name. Talk about your secret hangout spot with your friends and share with them the timeless culture surrounding it without inviting them to your secret spot. This will raise eyebrows

Step 2

Follow non popular holidays like 420, ok, 420 is a little bit popular to our Nigerian stoners, talk excessively about a top scientific like the human genome project and the 2045 singularity event. People are definitely going stare and associate weirdness with your personality.

Step 3

Don’t join in the ignorant topics of discussion. Sound knowledgeable and intelligent. This is a very high weirdness marker, people are going respect your weirdness, you will lose fake friends in the process but the real and important friends will be yours to keep and nurture.

Care for little creatures like ants, cockroaches and spiders, yes I said spiders. Trust our naija babes, this is where they come into this discussion fully. Caring for little things like that is a huge sign that you are asking to join the ranks of the single dudes out there. Naija babes don’t love soft pussies, they love the men strong, ignorant and obedient.

Step 4

Eating like Edo witches and wizards. Eating eba with fork and knife, using hand to eat jollof rice at KFC, eating indomie and bread at your girlfriend’s house and voicing out your annoyance at her laziness, trust me, most Nigerian guys accept all nonsense from their babes. The babes will definitely put you in the weird zone for been real about your emotions when it comes to food.

Step 5

Laughing at the little things is a huge marker for Yaba left type or weirdness, I am personally guilty of this. Added with my other nonconformist hobbies, doing and saying things people know but are too chicken to say or act. Playing cloth games with your girlfriend, using costumes when engaging in sexual acts, this is my personal favourite, and yes, I am absolutely weird this way!

Step 6

As a Nigerian, you are programmed not to speak good English for the fear of been labelled as a phony. Screw that train of thinking, I speak perfectly good English. Use words like amazing, cunnilingus in sentences and refuse to explain the meaning. Still want get creative? Mash words together like Smartmugu, please what is a smartmugu? Speak with funny assents, be Bostwanian today, South African tomorrow, Ghanian on Thursdays, the bold ones go for Spanish on Friday nights after a few vodka shots of course. And if all fails, gibberish still works, literally speak in tongues till you get the attention you crave for.

Step 7

Talk to animals, inanimate objects and of course, talk to yourself too. Not that I am advertising Yaba left, but you get the idea. This will make you popular on a weird level and people will definitely pay attention. Do this all the time and you will be put on the hall of fame wall in your school, office, police station, hospital…etc

Step 8

Become an atheist or an agnostic. Be vocal about your choice in the same way the Christians and Muslims are vocal about their religion. Caution though, don’t overdo it, choose your battle field carefully and be wise. Been weird is far different from been hospitalised or dead.

Step 9

Change your wardrobe to bright colour, clashing patterns and crazy textures. You can’t successfully be weird without looking weird as well. Cry when reading books, cry hard when watching movies, cry when making love, cry when having rough sex, cry when in missionary position, cry when collecting money from debtors, cry when your Samsung galaxy phone battery fully charges, and cry when you see your partner’s unclothedness for the first time.

Step 10

Think weird. Be yourself, free the inner beast in you. Don’t pay attention to what others think. Those who matter won’t mind who you really are. No one has the authority to have a say in what rocks your boat. Once you start acting weird, word will get around that you are different, and it’s not entirely a bad thing, infact, it comes with lots of benefits!

You dey teach us how to become Gay abi

u want ppu's attention real quick? try to eat jollof rice with ur bare hands! make sure u lick ur fingers too

so someone will sit down, think abt poo like dis , pen it down and hoping to create followership of this recipe for insanity.....Our govt. needs to wake up to their responsibility and provide job for the youths.

I possess step 3 and 8,trust me,anytime I step outta my room here In my hostel I get treated like a celebrity of some sort lol,anytime I'm in class I'm the centre attraction for intelligent contribution but truth is I still consider myself dumb because I'm a 'B' student,yes I'm guilty of using the american accent which I get compliment from friends and girls about how I put the words in,As an atheist,most of my lecturer often seek for me to come to their office to share views on religion and general life issues with them....lastly,I laughed so hard one day a girl stepped to me and said,I have google search in my brain I laughed so hard and told her "No",I happen to read whatever I lay my hands on.

Oh, now I got it, how to be a bad country man rit?

aaronson:
I possess step 3 and 8,trust me,anytime I step outta my room here In my hostel I get treated like a celebrity of some sort lol,anytime I'm in class I'm the centre attraction for intelligent contribution but truth is I still consider myself dumb because I'm a 'B' student,yes I'm guilty of using the american accent which I get compliment from friends and girls about how I put the words in,As an atheist,most of my lecturer often seek for me to come to their office to share views on religion and general life issues with them....lastly,I laughed so hard one day a girl stepped to me and said,I have google search in my brain I laughed so hard and told her "No",I happen to read whatever I lay my hands on.

I understand you perfectly! I honestly think grades and intelligence are two different things. Intelligence is in the DNA

rubbish...all nigerians were naturally made weird from heaven...so forget...its already in us

you can always use a name like mine

Qaisar1:
****************************************************
Meanwhile, I bought a kitten earlier this month - hope it isn't weird

What's with guys and cats? Most people I know who love cats are guys. I don't understand why tho. Cats are snippy and mean

dantewest:
Being a Nigerian is gradually changing into something else. No one wants to be the same anymore, besides, being yourself doesn’t make you feel satisfied. We act a little bit weird to stand out. Before reading further, remember, you want to be weird and not crazy! Finding the thin line between both is a matter of perception.

Step 1

Get your own unique hangout joints and give it a weird name. Talk about your secret hangout spot with your friends and share with them the timeless culture surrounding it without inviting them to your secret spot. This will raise eyebrows

Step 2

Follow non popular holidays like 420, ok, 420 is a little bit popular to our Nigerian stoners, talk excessively about a top scientific like the human genome project and the 2045 singularity event. People are definitely going stare and associate weirdness with your personality.

Step 3

Don’t join in the ignorant topics of discussion. Sound knowledgeable and intelligent. This is a very high weirdness marker, people are going respect your weirdness, you will lose fake friends in the process but the real and important friends will be yours to keep and nurture.

Care for little creatures like ants, cockroaches and spiders, yes I said spiders. Trust our naija babes, this is where they come into this discussion fully. Caring for little things like that is a huge sign that you are asking to join the ranks of the single dudes out there. Naija babes don’t love soft pussies, they love the men strong, ignorant and obedient.

Step 4

Eating like Edo witches and wizards. Eating eba with fork and knife, using hand to eat jollof rice at KFC, eating indomie and bread at your girlfriend’s house and voicing out your annoyance at her laziness, trust me, most Nigerian guys accept all nonsense from their babes. The babes will definitely put you in the weird zone for been real about your emotions when it comes to food.

Step 5

Laughing at the little things is a huge marker for Yaba left type or weirdness, I am personally guilty of this. Added with my other nonconformist hobbies, doing and saying things people know but are too chicken to say or act. Playing cloth games with your girlfriend, using costumes when engaging in sexual acts, this is my personal favourite, and yes, I am absolutely weird this way!

Step 6

As a Nigerian, you are programmed not to speak good English for the fear of been labelled as a phony. Screw that train of thinking, I speak perfectly good English. Use words like amazing, cunnilingus in sentences and refuse to explain the meaning. Still want get creative? Mash words together like Smartmugu, please what is a smartmugu? Speak with funny assents, be Bostwanian today, South African tomorrow, Ghanian on Thursdays, the bold ones go for Spanish on Friday nights after a few vodka shots of course. And if all fails, gibberish still works, literally speak in tongues till you get the attention you crave for.

Step 7

Talk to animals, inanimate objects and of course, talk to yourself too. Not that I am advertising Yaba left, but you get the idea. This will make you popular on a weird level and people will definitely pay attention. Do this all the time and you will be put on the hall of fame wall in your school, office, police station, hospital…etc

Step 8

Become an atheist or an agnostic. Be vocal about your choice in the same way the Christians and Muslims are vocal about their religion. Caution though, don’t overdo it, choose your battle field carefully and be wise. Been weird is far different from been hospitalised or dead.

Step 9

Change your wardrobe to bright colour, clashing patterns and crazy textures. You can’t successfully be weird without looking weird as well. Cry when reading books, cry hard when watching movies, cry when making love, cry when having rough sex, cry when in missionary position, cry when collecting money from debtors, cry when your Samsung galaxy phone battery fully charges, and cry when you see your partner’s unclothedness for the first time.

Step 10

Think weird. Be yourself, free the inner beast in you. Don’t pay attention to what others think. Those who matter won’t mind who you really are. No one has the authority to have a say in what rocks your boat. Once you start acting weird, word will get around that you are different, and it’s not entirely a bad thing, infact, it comes with lots of benefits!

Op, I love youuuuuuuuu!

Lmaoo... I love this guy.... I think u weirder than me tho n bliv me, i am weird....lol

dantewest:
I understand you perfectly! I honestly think grades and intelligence are two different things. Intelligence is in the DNA

Very correct bro,they are of three types Brilliant,intelligent and smart,A brilliant mind is that guy In class who's an all 'A's student because of his retentive memory.
An intelligent mind is usually the dangerous and the wired because they in line and trendy with every phenomenon around them and the world at large,they can even predict the next step of a brilliant mind and they end up employing the brilliant minds.
The smart head is one who knows when to make a perfect slick move and the routine in making things happen so easy,these people usually use theirs to outsmart other people at the right time but they still fear the intelligent because the intelligent hardly trust people.

Weirdos everywhere

prevail23:
OP,madness way i know supposed be a thing u are born with,or dem send am from ur village...why u wan create "manual madness" by urself?

lmfao o *falls from lucifer's shoulder and starts rolling on floor lmfao* dude you are damn funny.