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Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumEntertainmentJokes EtcSure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking (25538 Views)

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Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by didactic70: 10:26pm On May 05, 2015
These squatters take advantage of one's gentlemanliness to unduely overstay their welcome.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by sacora(f): 10:27pm On May 05, 2015
Swegzfreak:
dat 1 na long story. .
Just use a coffin as ur centre table, tank me later
now, u gat me Laughing my heart out
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by hollypagan: 10:27pm On May 05, 2015
stubborn one like me can stay as far as the roof is still there. we can manage
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by ireneidiva(f): 10:29pm On May 05, 2015
Extreme!
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by bobbyluis(m): 10:32pm On May 05, 2015
if it is a one room apartment, invite ur girlfriend, but if it is not,bring ur family over,the person must leave by force
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Nobody: 10:45pm On May 05, 2015
One just left my house today. My cousin came from Lagos to write WAEC. Before I knew it, his immediate elder brother joined. Well, they are my cousins... There's a friend of mine that use to visit. He'll stay for 2 days... sometimes 3 days and leave. This time around, he came with a bag full of clothes, that they are dirty and he wants to wash them. I discovered that most of the clothes weren't dirty after all. He has come to stay. I laughed within me. It wasn't even about the food or facilities because my house is big enough to accommodate 10 people and I have cooks. Food is always there for everyone. The guy was taking advantage of my benevolence. He would make more than 50 calls in a day and he never had airtime on his phone. It was always my phone. Today, he wants to visit his friend. Tomorrow, it's his cousin. Another day, it's his brother. All transport comes from me. I noticed that he wasn't ready to even go out and find something to do to help himself. Within 2 weeks, he brought home 4 different girls. I decided to teach him a lesson. I refused to give him any money, refused to release my car for him to drop off his girls, refused to buy any more alcohol, and gave my cooks 3 days off duty. I gave my cousins money to eat outside. I'll leave in the morning and come back at night. The only eatable food at home was garri. No sugar. This morning, he told that he'll like to take a stroll to his house. Before I was ready to go to my office, he has already carried his bag. I gave him just #2000. And bade him farewell.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by SAZZYSKOLY(m): 10:56pm On May 05, 2015
Broos see as u make me dey laugh like mad man.... grin
Swegzfreak:
dat 1 na long story. .
Just use a coffin as ur centre table, tank me later
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Nayok(m): 11:13pm On May 05, 2015
I think say na only me notice
Ilekeh:
Parking or Packing?
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Forwetinnah: 11:49pm On May 05, 2015
okotv:
In life, you get what you want if you are persistent.
I don't agree with anything written up there cause it would not solve the problems.

First off, before accepting any visitor, state your terms. Don't fall victim to anyone in the name of love.

Secondly, Never loosen your guard cause anything can happen.

Thirdly, When the time stipulated is around the corner, remind your guest. Stick to the initial agreements.

Finally, Give the person a farewell gift. Part as friends as much as you can. Don't accept any extension because that's how it starts and your grip on your visitor loosens.

Thank you
All this one na long tori..some people don't really tell you before they move in, they start by passing some nights, then bring in personal things to last them for weeks without telling you..how then do you bring up agreements etc before they come? Alot of people don't know there are boundaries in friendship and stretch it as a result
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Forwetinnah: 11:53pm On May 05, 2015
Fit2Rule:
One just left my house today. My cousin came from Lagos to write WAEC. Before I knew it, his immediate elder brother joined. Well, they are my cousins... There's a friend of mine that use to visit. He'll stay for 2 days... sometimes 3 days and leave. This time around, he came with a bag full of clothes, that they are dirty and he wants to wash them. I discovered that most of the clothes weren't dirty after all. He has come to stay. I laughed within me. It wasn't even about the food or facilities because my house is big enough to accommodate 10 people and I have cooks. Food is always there for everyone. The guy was taking advantage of my benevolence. He would make more than 50 calls in a day and he never had airtime on his phone. It was always my phone. Today, he wants to visit his friend. Tomorrow, it's his cousin. Another day, it's his brother. All transport comes from me. I noticed that he wasn't ready to even go out and find something to do to help himself. Within 2 weeks, he brought home 4 different girls. I decided to teach him a lesson. I refused to give him any money, refused to release my car for him to drop off his girls, refused to buy any more alcohol, and gave my cooks 3 days off duty. I gave my cousins money to eat outside. I'll leave in the morning and come back at night. The only eatable food at home was garri. No sugar. This morning, he told that he'll like to take a stroll to his house. Before I was ready to go to my office, he has already carried his bag. I gave him just #2000. And bade him farewell.
That's the part that pisses me off the most...trying to play smart when the person you're dealing with isn't dumb.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by OKNkanu(m): 11:58pm On May 05, 2015
lipsrsealed
OP doing this means you're living a complicated life.........
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Nobody: 12:37am On May 06, 2015
talentarena:
http://talentarenaafrica.com/2015/05/05/sure-ways-to-send-that-annoying-visitor-parking/
op parking or packing? cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

see who wan give me hint nor fit differentiate between park and pack cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Artorius(m): 12:53am On May 06, 2015
Swegzfreak:
dat 1 na long story. .
Just use a coffin as ur centre table, tank me later
grin grin brother, you made my day grin
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by AreaFada2: 3:43am On May 06, 2015
kuuljay:
lol its not easy to discharge a chronic squatter. I have one as right now he sleeps in one if the bed rooms for a year now and does nothing rather than finish my food with his numerous chicks,as a childhood friend it's difficult to ask him to leave cos I think of tomorrow too.tried on several occasions to discharge this guy for where!!! after few days he will appear.i remember telling him I have owed the landlady for two years and she is calling the police for me so am going on hiding for one month pending when I have money so he should park his things.the next day the guy went to confront her without my knowledge.i tire
.

Lol.

I had one like that. He squatted for over a year. He was working near my house. He was to spend a few days initially. He was just the friend of a friend o.
Though he went away on weekends to where he rented a house. He only kept that house because it was near his elderly girlfriend. Fairly common then in Europe for some to date any potential papers-giving babe. grin

He was spending heavily on that lazy oyinbo lady I gathered from his friends.

This guy will just buy some yeye soft chicken/broiler, tomato n semo. Then use my ingredients to cook it. His cooking was so bad I only ocassionally ate out of politeness. Once his pot of raw tomato-tasting stew finished, that was it.

He will then just chill and enjoy my pots of stew and soup with assorted meat and fish. You cook better than lots of women he kept saying. cheesy
He was even earning decent money.

I learned he eventually got deported, no papers from the lazy oyinbo he spent so much on.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by poshpappy(m): 5:04am On May 06, 2015
cheesy
Swegzfreak:
dat 1 na long story. .
Just use a coffin as ur centre table, tank me later
lmaoo....bruh u badt ooo
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Panelbeater(m): 5:38am On May 06, 2015
MuyiRano:
You're buying a Federal Government land allocated to ministers and former head of states and I hereby give you one month to vacate this property.
Here is my certificate of occupancy....Na me get the land, na for here I wan dey hammer cars wey don bash
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by saintol(m): 6:17am On May 06, 2015
What if the visitor refuses to leave after all these plans, sey i fit kill am? If u buy bed bugs #2000, and he/she buys OTAPIAPIA #100, bed bugs go die na bros. U be badmadooo.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by chiibekee(f): 6:51am On May 06, 2015
U are just punishing urself if this is how u send ur annoying visitors packing. Simply explain to your landlord and leave the rest for him or u wake him up in the middle of the night and tell him that ur rent has expired. Then he will tell that he was about telling u that he would be leaving in two days time.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Immaangel(f): 7:29am On May 06, 2015
0b1nna:
Hehehehe
Holla @ Ur hood rats & urchins make dem come smoke pepperlin & jumbo for ya sitting room. grin


Stock your fridge with platic water bottles filled with "pepper soup" "awonpa" "soldier roots" "jedi jedi" "monkey tail"

tongue grin cheesy
cry
Guy u be correct ganja man. More light to your wEed!!! me sef go use weed cook jollof rice or indomie and drag his silly ass outside before he wakes up. #Immaangel
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Sylverbox(m): 7:34am On May 06, 2015
I'd rather just tell the person to leave. No hurting.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by HyDef(m): 7:42am On May 06, 2015
Ilekeh:
Parking or Packing?
Abi? I don tire o.
That's how in another front page topic, they wrote 'booth' instead of 'boot'.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by michaelou(m): 7:58am On May 06, 2015
you are only hurting urself by doing these things, just tell him or her 2 simply leave!
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Decentdamsel(f): 8:07am On May 06, 2015
chiibekee:
U are just punishing urself if this is how u send ur annoying visitors packing. Simply explain to your landlord and leave the rest for him or u wake him up in the middle of the night and tell him that ur rent has expired. Then he will tell that he was about telling u that he would be leaving in two days time.
God am laughing like an idiot
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by stigman(m): 8:22am On May 06, 2015
naijafresh:
Packing not parking.
Teacher wey ur classroom
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by okotv(m): 8:51am On May 06, 2015
Forwetinnah:
All this one na long tori..some people don't really tell you before they move in, they start by passing some nights, then bring in personal things to last them for weeks without telling you..how then do you bring up agreements etc before they come? Alot of people don't know there are boundaries in friendship and stretch it as a result
If someone spends more than a night in your house, speak up, after all its your property.
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by MuyiRano(m): 9:12am On May 06, 2015
Panelbeater:
Here is my certificate of occupancy....Na me get the land, na for here I wan dey hammer cars wey don bash
*verifies if d cert. is original* Ok... U are free..
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by kuuljay(m): 9:53am On May 06, 2015
olu4life:
Lmaoooo, my brother adopt the method I used above. Nothing like telling him the plain truth. Even 2 bestfriends that lives together must to have issues o
the thing is after few weeks he will one day just show up at the door looking like puss in boots
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by MOORCHMOORE(m): 9:55am On May 06, 2015
Am I in joke session?
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Krasid(m): 12:01pm On May 06, 2015
Swegzfreak:
dat 1 na long story. . Just use a coffin as ur centre table, tank me later
grin grin grin
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Bofemsky(f): 1:59pm On May 06, 2015
This reminds me of the time before I got married. A friend of my husband used to live with him in a room apartment, when we got married, we moved into a 3bedroom flat and he moved with us, he even chose the best room! And he has a good Job. He doesn't contribute a kobo to d upkeep of the house. We had a baby after 7mths and he was still there! When my mum came to take care of the baby, my husband told him straight out that his MIL needs the room! The second day he moved out!
Re: Sure Ways To Send That Annoying Visitor Parking by Gemc3(f): 3:16pm On May 06, 2015
nedu2000:
I'm going through the same thing o,and this guy is working and even planning to buy a car!! I dunno why people can be so insensitive
What?
Then he should start paying you rent. . . .Cos really, U are his landlord.
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