l will like to ve u as my friend n i will be glad to be among ur ashebi girls.

sassygal:


I have read through and I only glad about the last sentence.

I may have come across as brash but your initial contribution riled me up, simply because you judged her.

Learn to look at things objectively.

Cheers

No problem. We are all in the world to learn. Nice encountering you, might be nice to meet you someday.

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

my advice is:
take to the advice of sambarry on his advice on separating privacy from isolation
keep private matters away from your friends and only isolate yourself from friends that you're certain are enemies of your progress and friendships
learn to be accommodating because we all make mistakes
you'll know a good friend some day when you overlook the errors some may make today and such ones come to fill your need for a true friend's help or support tomorrow
HML

go to unilag , and get those girls that do ushering job, get like for and pay their fee, chikena!!!!#

Chinoble:

Exactly my thought. U can also use ur husband's female relatives.

yea...the wedding must hold

Whats the OP saying ?
My sis just got married Apr 29. Only Chief bridesmaid. No bridal train. She's 30, so most of her friends are already married.
At the wedding it was agreed dt d groom should not have groomsmen, only bestman.
Normal wedding, nobody gossiped.
You can do same.
Why do you need a loooong bridal train ?
As for d preparations n running around, don't your fiance have sisters, cousins etc
Dont you have ?

I understand you perfectly......send me an email.....

BTT:

Omo, see idea!
God bless you more and more.

bless u too

Go hire one naw

NosoChic:
Must you have bridemaids?

You may decide to use children on your bridal train if you insist you want a long train. I feel you must have a chief bridemaids only.

My thoughts exactly. No law says bridal train is compulsory. I didn't have any during my wedding. Not because I didn't have friends anyway. But the really close friends I would have loved to use were still in university(in different parts of the country) and only one or two make it down. I also didn't want to use people I wasn't close to and didn't want to postpone the wedding to when they all would have been available. So I made do with my sister as my maid-of-honour and a Page boy and little bride in addition to the best man. The wedding went well.

interleukin:
Must you have bridesmaids? For me only a chief bridesmaid would do. It also won't be cool if your husband has groomsmen when you don't have maids to match. So either you both agree to use just a best man and chief bride maid, or start making friends ASAP, or just hire them.

its not compulsory to v bridesmaid. d most important is ur traditional and court wedding.
A friend f mine who got married recently just had church blessing.
t was arranged like D's
did engagement in d morning
after d engagement
Pple were directed to go to d reception while dey changed to dere wedding gown and suit and went to d pastors office with d parent on both side and one friend of d bride and groom and dey signed d marriage , pastor prayed for dem
took pictures
and went to the reception
d wedding was so simple and cute
no wahala, no stress
d marriage is 2 months old now
no paparasi, no dancing into church and all dem preaching in church, and bridestrain wahala
God bless their marriage

shirazlova:
Im a regular contributor here on Nairaland but have had to create a new profile for the sake of being anonymous

My problem is that all my life I've struggled to make or maintain female friendships due to one reason or another. Distance, change of location, falling out/unresolved conflict, jealousy, fake friends etc.. It's something I'm ashamed of and I often feel sad that I don't have my clique of friends especially now that I'm about getting married. It saddens me that at this time of my life where I'm supposed to be joyous and be surrounded by girlfriends helping me with wedding preparations, choosing a dress etc, I have no one to call on. I've had to shop for my dress alone which was quite a depressing experience. Everytime my parents or aunties ask of my friends I come up with one story or another or just change the topic completely.

My fiancée is very much aware of my lack of friends but he's not bothered by it at all. I'm in my early/mid twenties and I feel so saddened to see other girls my age with lots of girlfriends. I have a big family however most of my cousins are male.

How do I go about doing my wedding with no bridesmaids whatsoever! It'll be such a mortifying experience for my wedding guests and family members to notice I have no friends.
What do I do about this?
I'd appreciate matured responses pls.

I UNDERSTAND UR PLIGHT DEAR BRIDE TO BE, WUD LIKE FOR US TO HOOK TO HELP AS AM ALMOST IN SAME DELIMA WITH U RIT NOW. DONT KNOW HOW TO GET TO YOU PRIVATELY COS DONT WANT TO DROP MY CONTACT HERE. WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER..


WE CAN NEVER GET PERFECT FRIEND, REALLY FRIENDS CAN BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE NECK, SO MUCH FAKE FRIENDS AROUND, HARDLY HONEST, ONLY SMILE WITH YOU BUT HARDLY AROUND WHEN YOU NEED THEM... YOU CAN ONLY KEEP THEM AT BAY, BUT NOT COMPLETELY COS YOU MIGHT NEED THEM SOMEDAY,
BUT THEN AGAIN, WHO SAYS YOU CANT DO A WEEDING WITHOUT TRAIN, ANCO AND ALL THAT STUFF, FOR ME ITS EVEN STRESSFULL, IF I CAN I WUD AVOID IT, THERES SO MUCH TO DO TO START WORRYING ABOUT TRAIN, FAMILY CAN HANDLE YOUR WEDDING PREPARATIONS MORE THAN MOST FRIENDS, FRIENDS CAN DISAPPOINT YOU JOOR, SO HAVE A BLAST AT YOUR WEDING

I thought I was the only one in this..

dont worry dear its a good tin u r not keeping friends,its normal n u r not d only one ok.b4 my marriage,do u know I did a chief brides maid for a lady i dont know n hv never met b4? but only know her younger sist.Dis was hw it all happened-she let her younger sist know she doen'nt hv friends n no one to brides maid her,so her sist told her not to worry dt she can get for her n I was not even close to her sist sef,but like wat she said-she has always admired n loved my kind of person anytime i pass dere house to wok,dt was how she beged me n I did it for d lady 5yrs again.

So dear,u can ask anyone around u dt u admire or tell ur brothers to help u out n i bet u dey wl gladly do it for u.

if i was still single,wud hv done it for u.Where r u base? if its not too far,can ask my pretty younger sist to do it for u n she wl gladly do it ok.

If you're still interested PM me. A friend of mine is a wedding planner + she has girls for ushering.

OP, I was once in your shoes, what I did was to let them know I'll pay for the clothes and in a twinkle of an eyes, 11 girls were available, I had to shortlist the list to 7 girls to save cost... the girls ranged from school mates, my sister's friends, neighbours and sisters of my male friends.

If u can afford to, you can do same and let the word out, you would be amazed at the feedback you get.

HML in advance

Believe it or nt I can totally relate to the OP...I hate having or making frends....a real loner...dis is an eye opener...

chimkaire:
...what would you have suggested

don't get you

that is the life of a lone ranger...

ferhyntorlah:
Ladies sha! Una dey try! As for me, maid of honour have do.

We all have different preferences

I was doing it once and liked all the glitz and glamor within our budget.

Op, are you having a big wedding? If its not then you don't need all those army of bridesmaids some people have, make it just one bridesmaid and surely you can get at least one relative to do that?

Please go and hire bridesmaid for your wedding.

But Tinuade my Inamorata, we have already discussed this issue.. you don't need to come here and tell Nigeria about our problem. Nike and her friends would be more than glad to help and you already agreed, why then come here to rant. I'm thinking about calling off this wedding because from the look of things, we aren't ready for this.

when and where is the wedding?? hope you have pepper snail on the menu...I can bring all my sisters from Jamaica

Gbam

popiong:


my advice is:
take to the advice of sambarry on his advice on separating privacy from isolation
keep private matters away from your friends and only isolate yourself from friends that you're certain are enemies of your progress and friendships
learn to be accommodating because we all make mistakes
you'll know a good friend some day when you overlook the errors some may make today and such ones come to fill your need for a true friend's help or support tomorrow
HML

interleukin:



For me sha, I don't really care about all that. If I can find bride maids, fine. If I can't, fine. With or without bridesmaid, pastor go still join us. Wedding go still happen.

yes pastor will still join you. Whatever rocks your boat anyway. If you want less gbo gbo ero no problems. What matters is your happiness

booqee:
when did bridesmaids start doing the job of the caterers and food service?? do u live in france??

they only assist, they don't do the work of caterers. Caterers can't do everything. So they only give minor assistance and support my dia same with friends of the bride

Get a Wedding Ringer

Lol!
And I have too many friends.
Op, don't be hard on yourself. People are different.
Try getting in contact with female cousins or relations to assist with the wedding. Making friends ain't easy! Honestly most of my friends now are friends from secondary school, we've known ourselves for years and we just get along pretty well.
Making friends isn't something you just rush into, people can be wicked. Be careful! You might actually be better off without friends.

Mariecakes:

YES


Bridesmaid these days don't do that anymore..All they do is maybe help with colour, n most importantly think of how nice they want to look on that day..tthat's all

yes you're right about that and I don't blame bridesmaids for that because some guests especially some women at parties never like minding their business. They like over sabi and are very overbearing. For example I've gone for a wedding where I eas a guest and a woman sitting not too far from me was yelling at a total stranger who happens to be one of the brides maid to help serve the guest. The way she was shouting at her was just too rude . and even if the bridesmaid wanted to help she won't help because her approach was very lousy. To the extent that the way she was yelling at her she almost wanted to push my baby sitting to the ground accidentally. That was when I became mad and shouted at her to respect herself and mind my baby .If she knows how to do it she should stand up and join the caterers instead of shouting. That was how the bridesmaid was able to escape





till I left there she didn't say a word.

kilode100:

Dem go kpansh your fiancé o.

no o. Please we are very innocent

ferhyntorlah:
YIMU! I practically grew up without the retinue of friends; so I'm okay with just maid of honour. I hate FEFERITY! What matters to me is I get married quietly and peacefully. I hate loud celebrations! Shirazlova, to me, you have no issue except you make it one. Less friends, less stress and wahala. Enjoy your marriage o jare.

yimu too.i didn't say bridesmaids is compulsory but it's necessary. How can you say you don't have friends. Na so your character bad reach? Haba. Not even like 3dependable friends office colleagues school friends ex class mates roommates or few church friends. Abeg slow down joor. If that's how everybody lived their lives who will you see to be there for you to help you hug you confide with jist with shop with or pray with before your husba came along. Which kain life be that one.



The point is friends have a role to play in every man and woman's life. The bad friends give us experience and lessons and the good ones give us memories. Both are important to make us more resilient when life throws stones at us