₦airaland Forum

mulanbaba:
ok , i will start from the beginning Hubby and i met in University.I was a virgin but not because of religion as such, i just chose to wait for the one thats all. We have been married for 12years now and i can safely say it was happily so until three months ago,when i found out that he has been having an affair with my best friend and kicked him out of the house.

now since then all my married friends have been on my case that i am pushing him into the other womans arms etc,and that i shouldnt hev come that close to single woman. No one is recognising that i am deeply hurt, i am depressed, i cant even clean my house or bath my kids and myself. i am in this deep dark hole and i have contemplated suicide

i had to get sick leave from work because i feel incapacitated right now, i can barely leave the house unless i fetch the kids from school. i had to hire a maid cos even cooking wasnt possible.

Now all the advices i am getting is how i must not push him away and still act as a wife and stop being hurt and forgive him as if one can just stop coughing even though they have TB!!,
coming to our marriage we have always had a kinky sex life so there is no position available that we havent tried axcept anal cos he is not interested. i am a very open minded person so he knows no subject is a taboo between us, but he knows that cheating and abuse are a deal breaker for me.

He has shown remorse and hev been apologising but my pain is just so deep right now. i hev asked him why and he doesnt hev any reasons because i had even suggested we explore swinging to spice our sex life which he said a big NO. So i am so confused cos i know i am a good looking woman who doesnt look older than 23 and i work out so am very toned and i do get attention a lot from other men still. so why did he do it? and why are people more concerned about him than my pain? at the moment i really dont care whether other woman take him or not because i feel injured and the wound is very deep.

so ladies please help me understand why should i be the one acting as if its my fault even though my heart is bleeding?

Please kindly give him a second chance. Its obvious you are hurting too from the separation.
Its well.

Hello everyone

i just want to thank you again for your imput on my situation. we decided to get a separation because too much had happened.

i got admitted in hospital for nervous breakdown after meeting my former BF at the gym, so after my mental breakdown all the pain and anger i felt towards my husband wasnt healthy for me at all. i even was fantasising of stabbing him in his sleep and was physically attacking him as well. lets just say my rage was uncontrollable so we had to separate. i know am not making sense but i dont make sense lately. i am a naturrally soft, gentle and humble person but lately i am somebody else. thank u guys aam currently on antidepressant and seeing a psychiatrist

Get well soon.

mulanbaba:
Hello everyone

i just want to thank you again for your imput on my situation. we decided to get a separation because too much had happened.

i got admitted in hospital for nervous breakdown after meeting my former BF at the gym, so after my mental breakdown all the pain and anger i felt towards my wasnt healthy for me at all. i even was fantasising stabbing him in his sleep and was physically attacking him as well. lets just say my rage was uncontrollable so we had to separate. i know am not making sense but i dont make sense lately. i am a naturrally soft, gentle and humble person but lately i am somebody else. thank u guys aam currently on antidepressant and seeing a psychiatrist

mulanbaba:
Hello everyone

i just want to thank you again for your imput on my situation. we decided to get a separation because too much had happened.

i got admitted in hospital for nervous breakdown after meeting my former BF at the gym, so after my mental breakdown all the pain and anger i felt towards my husband wasnt healthy for me at all. i even was fantasising of stabbing him in his sleep and was physically attacking him as well. lets just say my rage was uncontrollable so we had to separate. i know am not making sense but i dont make sense lately. i am a naturrally soft, gentle and humble person but lately i am somebody else. thank u guys aam currently on antidepressant and seeing a psychiatrist

Sorry dear
Get well soon

mulanbaba:
Hello everyone

i just want to thank you again for your imput on my situation. we decided to get a separation because too much had happened.

i got admitted in hospital for nervous breakdown after meeting my former BF at the gym, so after my mental breakdown all the pain and anger i felt towards my husband wasnt healthy for me at all. i even was fantasising of stabbing him in his sleep and was physically attacking him as well. lets just say my rage was uncontrollable so we had to separate. i know am not making sense but i dont make sense lately. i am a naturrally soft, gentle and humble person but lately i am somebody else. thank u guys aam currently on antidepressant and seeing a psychiatrist

Sorry sis,
So hopeful you will pull through .

mulanbaba:
thank you, i didnt try to commit suicide, i was just suicidal at the time.

typing here about my feelings has really made me better. Thank you everyone for taking time to give me advice, i really appreciate. i just needed a neutral ear i guess. God bless you all for calming my burning heart

God bless you too. Please this pain shall pass. But one needs to know your husbands state in terms of commitment to his marriage and remorse.
He has wrong friends and I strongly believe they have a hand in his action and decision directly or indirectly. One thing is for sure, your hubby has terrible judgement and reminds me of a young man who is just learning about life.
From sleeping with his wife's best friend, to sending his divorced friend to appeal to his embittered and vulnerable wife, after he himself had just slept with her best friend.
Is he totally oblivious of the crop of friends he has? Please don't divorce him yet. Although I am very disappointed in such a man. Play the waiting game. Let time do the healing.