How Would You Feel - Family

How Would You Feel - Family - Nairaland

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How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 7:51am On Jun 04, 2015

If you found out ur university age daughter slept with ur age long friend for money at a time in the past and people who knew mocked you with that meetings and gatherings, which feeling will hurt the most, the friend's betrayal or your daughter shaming the family name. PS a cousin is hated in the kindred cos of this, the father died never forgiving her

Re: How Would You Feel by indiraserv: 8:00am On Jun 04, 2015

I'll blame myself for not bringing her up well enough to believe her body is a currency for exchange

1 Like

Re: How Would You Feel by alberto2k(m): 8:04am On Jun 04, 2015

Eddygourdo:
If you found out ur university age daughter slept with ur age long friend for money at a time in the past and people who knew mocked you with that meetings and gatherings, which feeling will hurt the most, the friend's betrayal or your daughter shaming the family name. PS a cousin is hated in the kindred cos of this, the father died never forgiving her

[color=Teal] Well. . . you'll blame the parent for not bringing her up in the Ways of Lord.

but whatz your question really?

[/color]

Re: How Would You Feel by Cutehector(m): 11:09am On Jun 04, 2015

I will blame myself.. Why? Because as a father, I'm suposed to cater for her needs.. It will be a shame to me when she goes out beggn for money when her father is very much alive and working. Wherebey the father is incapable of providing for their daughter's needs, they go elsewhere to seek for financial assistance either from boyfrnds or sugar daddies..

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 4:28pm On Jun 04, 2015

Cutehector:
I will blame myself.. Why? Because as a father, I'm suposed to cater for her needs.. It will be a shame to me when she goes out beggn for money when her father is very much alive and working. Wherebey the father is incapable of providing for their daughter's needs, they go elsewhere to seek for financial assistance either from boyfrnds or sugar daddies..

so technically you can forgive your friend afterwards?

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 4:29pm On Jun 04, 2015

alberto2k:
[color=Teal] Well. . . you'll blame the parent for not bringing her up in the Ways of Lord.

but whatz your question really?

[/color]

who would u be more angry with, your daughter or ur friend

Re: How Would You Feel by Cutehector(m): 4:31pm On Jun 04, 2015

Eddygourdo:
so technically you can forgive your friend afterwards?

for sleepin wit my daughter? Can I forgive him? Mehn its a hard one.. Buh as they say, time heals all wounds..

Re: How Would You Feel by alberto2k(m): 5:45pm On Jun 04, 2015

Eddygourdo:
who would u be more angry with, your daughter or ur friend

[color=Teal]
My friend of course. . . for being a biitch ass Nigga'
[/color]

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 7:51pm On Jun 04, 2015

Cutehector:
for sleepin wit my daughter? Can I forgive him? Mehn its a hard one.. Buh as they say, time heals all wounds..

hmmmm. Surprising response from a Nigerian. U really must have a good heart. I can't forgive even on the day of rapture

Re: How Would You Feel by Cutehector(m): 8:30pm On Jun 04, 2015

Eddygourdo:
hmmmm. Surprising response from a Nigerian. U really must have a good heart. I can't forgive even on the day of rapture

I understand its very hard for us to forgive one another.. Its so hard. No doubt about that. But whenever I remember the words, "forgive us oh lord, as we forgive those who tresspass against us" I submit the culprit to the lord to do whatever he pleases with him. And I try not to take vengeance. Let's be understanding, if God can forgive the repentant sinner at his side, who den am I, not to forgive those who tresspass against me.

Re: How Would You Feel by KanwuliaJara: 10:37pm On Jun 04, 2015

Bushrangers! cry

Re: How Would You Feel by Nobody: 9:34am On Jun 05, 2015

Why is anybody feeling ashamed on behalf of the foolish girl and the perv. The girl should be ashamed of herself.
She could have been contented with what she had, could have worked hard for her own money. Unless hrr Father is the irresponsible type who never catered for her, he can share in the shame.

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 9:47am On Jun 05, 2015

Yadoctora:
Why is anybody feeling ashamed on behalf of the foolish girl and the perv. The girl should be ashamed of herself.
She could have been contented with what she had, could have worked hard for her own money. Unless hrr Father is the irresponsible type who never catered for her, he can share in the shame.

u know people can be judgemental. It's the shame of the girl but so far others know the story and can tease a father about that whenever they like, it would make any parent ashamed

Re: How Would You Feel by Nobody: 9:52am On Jun 05, 2015

Eddygourdo:
u know people can be judgemental. It's the shame of the girl but so far others know the story and can tease a father about that whenever they like, it would make any parent ashamed

That's just my poV and it has not changed

Re: How Would You Feel by Nobody: 10:53am On Jun 05, 2015

If i were the cousin i would abandon the kindred sef. Who are they to judge or shame me?

Re: How Would You Feel by soopamom: 2:49am On Jun 06, 2015

How old was this child at the time? Ever heard of statutory rape? The father should have blamed himself for not protecting his daughter and for not raising her in a manner that would have made her at least confident enough in his love to have approached him with the info. Instead he is after his stupid pride and what people were saying behind his back.... Mitschewwww

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 7:42am On Jun 06, 2015

andromida:
If i were the cousin i would abandon the kindred sef. Who are they to judge or shame me?

if u an igbo lady u did know u can't abandon your kindred even though u cam ignore their tantrums, the girl is still single and will still need her people with respect to marriage customs and others. By the way this issue is similar to a sex tape scandal where everyone judges the victim and treats her like a leper

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 7:47am On Jun 06, 2015

soopamom:
How old was this child at the time? Ever heard of statutory rape? The father should have blamed himself for not protecting his daughter and for not raising her in a manner that would have made her at least confident enough in his love to have approached him with the info. Instead he is after his stupid pride and what people were saying behind his back.... Mitschewwww

the lady might have been around eighteen and I think the fathers friend was an aristo to her or something like that. The point is that people saw their escapades and it became known that she sleeps around worse off with a family friend who was the fathers best buddy. The story got to the parents through church gossips and or grapevine methods, fact is that the family was a laughing stock around that period so u should understand their pain. Rumour has it they were caught and paraded naked by the relatives of the man's wife

Re: How Would You Feel by enoqueen: 8:06am On Jun 06, 2015

We will put it behind us and move on.

Though it will always hurt each time I remember but am gonna love my child more.

These days, no matter how careful you are or how hard you work to raise your kid, shits happens.

Re: How Would You Feel by Nobody: 11:00am On Jun 06, 2015

Eddygourdo:
if u an igbo lady u did know u can't abandon your kindred even though u cam ignore their tantrums, the girl is still single and will still need her people with respect to marriage customs and others. By the way this issue is similar to a sex tape scandal where everyone judges the victim and treats her like a leper

She can't pay forever for something she did that many of their kids are doing they just didn't get caught. Ok yes maybe ignore their tantrums till I get out of there whether by getting a job far away from them or marriage.

They were even paraded. If I were the woman I can't let people make me live in shame for my lifetime it's just too hard. As for her Father who refused to forgive her he hurt himself carrying such a heavy heart to his grave and leaving his daughter with guilty shame I don't see anything he gained by being so unforgiving.

I will think where did I miss it? But then I will forgive her and myself and we move on even my friend I will have to forgive but our relationship ends.

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 12:21pm On Jun 06, 2015

andromida:
She can't pay forever for something she did that many of their kids are doing they just didn't get caught. Ok yes maybe ignore their tantrums till I get out of there whether by getting a job far away from them or marriage.

They were even paraded. If I were the woman I can't let people make me live in shame for my lifetime it's just too hard. As for her Father who refused to forgive her he hurt himself carrying such a heavy heart to his grave and leaving his daughter with guilty shame I don't see anything he gained by being so unforgiving.

I will think where did I miss it? But then I will forgive her and myself and we move on even my friend I will have to forgive but our relationship ends.

u have a forgiving spirit. U spoke truth though. I wonder y I never forgive nor forget. Guess it's me.

Re: How Would You Feel by Eddygourdo(op): 12:23pm On Jun 06, 2015

enoqueen:
We will put it behind us and move on.

Though it will always hurt each time I remember but am gonna love my child more.

These days, no matter how careful you are or how hard you work to raise your kid, shits happens.

rightly said but it's harder to forget when some people use that to score cheap shots on u and ur family whenever issues come up they say u talked or behaved like that which isn't surprising cos ur daughter did so and so

Re: How Would You Feel by Nobody: 1:20pm On Jun 06, 2015

Eddygourdo:
u have a forgiving spirit. U spoke truth though. I wonder y I never forgive nor forget. Guess it's me.

Forgiveness is not always instant. It may take a while, be a process before you can let whatever happened go. Forgetting is the harder part depending on how deep the wound is though the deeper you forgive the more you forget.

Hmm I think to forgive others you must forgive yourself first, you know sometimes we blame ourselves for what happened and sometimes you feel if you forgive the person who offended you, you are making life too easy for the person so you hold on to the grudge meanwhile you hurt yourself the most or create some kind of stuck energy between you and your offender.

Then there is thinking if you forgive a person the relationship must continue Imo forgiveness does not necessarily mean continuation of a relationship sometimes it just means you owe me nothing not even an apology. All perceived debts cancelled.

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