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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Our Crazy World (812 Views)
Crazy Me In The Crazy World / Reasons Why We Are In A Crazy World / Our Crazy Africa (2) (3) (4)
Our Crazy World by generaliy07(m): 1:59pm On Jun 27, 2015 |
I may not be a good writer, but I decided to pen this piece, 'cause its making me loose my peace Our Crazy world Our's is a crazy world We're loosing it daily oh Lord We now care less about your word We're indifferent to the warning of your rod The father's laid down precepts In totality we reject Simplest of instructions we detest All we're after is to impress Ask Bruce Jener's the showbiz dummy Once a daddy is now a mummy With such feminine curves that makes men boiling Good father this is no longer funny Our Fathers tell tales of love at Sunset The Characters were Romeo and Juliet Our generation feels such idea is outdated Romeos now prefer Rolands to Juliets Politicians take us for a ride Once in a leap year they come begging with Rice Only to turn down the bright lights And lead us into thick darkness of the night Ours is a world so crazy Our young men now are so lazy Yet wanna party hard with pink ladies Unmarried kids so proud to have babies This poem is a deep down reflection Of our innermost deceptions We were so normal at inception Now we've lost it at the risk eternal rejection Deliver us from Evil! (C) Copyright 2015. Ilesanmi I. S Posted this on my facebook page CC: None, just pained!, dunno if its FP worthy, if it is, Ishilove or Lalasticlala will do the needed |
Re: Our Crazy World by Nobody: 2:40pm On Jun 27, 2015 |
I am stunned.... Still appreciating the work... |
Re: Our Crazy World by generaliy07(m): 2:58pm On Jun 27, 2015 |
Freemanan: Freeman thanks a lot Please appreciate it, criticise and tell me where to improve on One love |
Re: Our Crazy World by Nobody: 5:42pm On Jun 27, 2015 |
generaliy07: It is a piece with class written all over it. It connects the past with our current societal misnomer and How it shows little for the future. It's highly didactic and full of detest for fanciful worldliness... It is a piece that made use of Anaphoric repetition only found in the Shakespearan corridors of Literature. It makes poem physical concrete and pragmatic. The flaws are obviously second to non. The poet persona made his intention known too easily. For chrissake this is Literature and not Mathematics, your message ought to be encrypted in poetic devices only to be uncovered by the appreciated few.... Lastly, the poem lacks music. Music here means audio Where onomatopoia, assonance, alliteration and rhythm. The poet is too serious and rigid, pun is lacking and sarcasm is scarce... It is Literature and not Astrophysics.... In a nutshell, I will rate this 60%.... That's a high if you ask those who I critique.... The writer deserve all the laudings he will get and works like this should greet my screen more often.... Bravo Leader.... |
Re: Our Crazy World by generaliy07(m): 6:24pm On Jun 27, 2015 |
Freemanan: I will surely work on these flaws, I'll try tagging you in subsequent posts, I'll always look forward to your opinion Thanks for taking your time to do this, I doff my hat Respect. |
Re: Our Crazy World by Nobody: 6:28pm On Jun 27, 2015 |
generaliy07:It is a mutual gesture Mate... I will be honoured to critique subsequent works... Gracias. 1 Like |
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Btw ACHEBE & Equiano,who's The Father Of African Literature / Beggars Of Love=>write Up By Dindy / A Poem:my Lover Is Angel
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