₦airaland Forum

EVILFOREST:
Am a working Class single...
I concur with MOST of your points.

Though am the GCON of my establisment after my MD.

am praying seriously to MARRY next year but am yet to LOCATE the LADY.... though some have been introduced to me but they are of the EMPOWERMENT VARIETY, and i detest such because they may start with "it DOESN'T MATTER" only to matter Later.

I hear some people CRITICISE MARRIAGE.
U can only REAP HAPPINNESS when you as an UPRIGHT person marry a GOD fearing lady.

abeg. Which one b empowerment variety again O

all this shit question can't make me feel frustrated


definitely op is the un serious type make your point clear why u are still single or only if u have no reason for still being unmarried

and always act more matured


someone like me I might never get married because I don't find living with woman interesting

mind spoken

gudrated:
I work in a multinational company in Nigeria. Pay is very good. Life is wonderful, but unfortunately I find myself in a division in which I am the only single (unmarried) person out of over 100 people working in the unit. I face daily harassment and discrimination just because I am single. For goodness sake, it isn’t a sin to remain single after 2 years of working there. Gosh! Some of the issues I face are as follows:

1.Everyone expects you to work harder than others – My boss gives me more work than others. He keeps hammering on my head that he expects me to work harder than others simply because I have no wife or kids to worry about- Same annoying stuff everyone around me keeps telling me! I am expected to close later than everyone else simply because I don’t have a family! I am expected to bear more work burden because they think I don’t have other issues in life to worry about. Even when you work so hard, it is never enough because you are assumed to have abundant energy for the singular reason that you are yet not wedded! Isn’t that funny, or rather simplistic, or just plain annoying?


2.You are treated with lesser respect – In a gathering of colleagues, your opinion is not as highly regarded as others. No one really cares much about your opinions (especially non work related issues). Some pretend that they do, but in their actions, you can really tell that they don’t. Many think you aren’t responsible. Some think that all you do is to pursue interns or girls all round.

3.In an argument or debate, you hear “it’s because you are not yet married, you won’t understand’ – This is the most disgusting. When an ordinarily intellectual argument gets to a point when your fellow colleague seems to be losing out, he/she resorts to the cheap punch line “It’s because you aren’t yet married, you simply can’t understand” or “you are still young”. And I simply wonder – what does this discourse have to do with whether I am married or not? It’s just another smear remark on your singlehood.

4.You are an easy pick for relocation/ field work – When issues of relocation or extended field work crops up, you are easily handpicked for that. Reason: You have no family to relocate with. In other words, ‘na only you waka come’. My unit is considering relocating me from Lagos to one of the semi-developed state in Nigeria. I will resist as much as possible. But I know it’s almost a lost battle. No one cares about my reasons for not wanting to move. All because I am single. I was almost considering marrying urgently to block the relocation but it’s not advisable. I am assigned almost every time for field work on behalf of my unit. My other colleagues are easily exempted because of their marital status. Why me always?


5. Everybody reminds you every day of your singleness – Another frustrating issue I have learnt to live with every working day until I finally get married. Everyone reminds you that you are getting older. People ask you when you will finally present your wedding IV. People remind you that you have been working for the organization for quite some time. Colleagues (both senior and junior) ask you what you have been doing with your money. It’s just so vexing. Must I be told every single day at work? I already know for goodness sake.

6. You avoid celebrating your birthdays in office because people will admonish you to get married – Celebrating your birthday, which ordinarily is a thing of joy, becomes a plague (in office) which you have to avoid at all cost. Why? It’s another opportunity for colleagues and other ‘well-wishers’ to preach to you on the need for you to marry. It presents another opportunity for your bosses and colleagues to remind you that your clock is ticking. The bulk of the prayer you receive is “By God’s grace, you will be married by this time of the year”. And everyone shouts a big AMEN! This piles a lot of indirect pressure on you to meet the ‘target’ set to you by others.

7. People call you ‘boy’ - How dare you call me boy? But colleagues do all the time. Many times it is unintentional, but this is because they still see me as a ‘boy’ in their mindset simply because I don’t have the wedding ring on my finger yet! I live on my own, cater for myself, support my parents and some relatives financially and live a comfortable life. Am I still a boy? Damn NO. It’s shocking that even my boss calls me boy when he is scolding me, but never does the same to others. For goodness sake, that’s a form of harassment.


8. You hardly receive compassionate leave – No one wants to consider you for compassionate leave, even after spending your holidays and weekends working. I recount the number of times my married colleagues have enjoyed compassionate leave. But my boss will not hear my plea after working myself out for him. It’s even a sort of battle to go for my company approved leave as he will insist that the leave is of little significance to me since I am yet to marry.

9. You become the errand boy - This infuriates me too, especially when there are no interns around. You do the running around for your bosses. You are sent to the bank, to shops, to pick stuffs, to run some personal errands for your unit. You are expected to do some dirty or menial jobs simply because you are a single man. I have almost become my manager’s personal assistant despite the fact that I am employed a core professional.

10. You are the odd one out – No one will understand how it feels to be the odd one out of over 100 people. That feeling of knowing that you are just different from everyone else only because you are unmarried. You tend to avoid departmental get togethers because everyone else brings their spouses except you. When you aren’t discussing work or sports with colleagues, then it’s most likely that the discussion will be on family issues. People keep throwing it at your face one way or the other. They talk about family friends, timeout with kids, house helps, vacation with hobbies, etc. but you remain silent, hardly able to contribute. It feels awkward to be odd.
single
These are some of the frustrations we single men face at work daily. Your experience may be slightly different from mine, but we demand equal and fair treatment. The good news is that we won’t remain single for a long time.

next time they remind you about your status, ask them if it's their

[quote author=Whobedatte post=35552560]positive? Just being a realist. How can you say 'definitely' when you r only making mere assumptions
Anyway just think if there had being success stories, there would have being at least 1 or 2 peeps who would have shared how they met&got married thru NL

My opinion though[/quote probably they have, also try been real by knowing that not all marriages that kicked off via NL ended as a failure. There's definitely one or two out there who made it through and might feel sharing their story here is irrelevant.

My humble opinion too

[quote author=Whobedatte post=35552560]positive? Just being a realist. How can you say 'definitely' when you r only making mere assumptions
Anyway just think if there had being success stories, there would have being at least 1 or 2 peeps who would have shared how they met&got married thru NL

My opinion though[/quote)
probably they have, also try been real by knowing that not all marriages that kicked off via NL ended as a failure. There's definitely one or two out there who made it through and might feel sharing their story here is irrelevant.

My humble opinion too

Sehindemi:
On a very serious note,@all single working class guys,wat'z y'all still doing unmarried?? Una truly get mission!!!

looking for good and beautiful combined in the same person.

they are either the one or the other.

doskie:
looking for good and beautiful combined in the same person.
they are either the one or the other.

sadly, you are right. I am the OP

Sehindemi:
Aiit den..

rawpadgin, lukin 4 the right babe??

U can start from here!!

gudrated:
sadly, you are right. I am the OP

im in that position my man. when I bought a land to start building, I expected my mum and elder ones to jubilate when they heard the news. but guess what I got.....


same old song!

but every where I go, I see rude and nagging ladies

or I see the not too fine ones with good behaviours.

cmon I want to fall in love. dont want to marry because the world says its time

It's sadly a recurring phenomenon stemming from some of our various cultural/social biases as a people. Take for instances,

When you choose to save for the future, thereby spending less today, the absence of certain "items" in your life like cars, sharp clothes and exotic holidays will inform society of your perceived financial incapacity.

When you choose to remain inwardly in tune with your maker and keep the relationship as should be as Man to his God and God to Man In turn, without been a worker in church, speaking in tongues or even carrying a Man of Gods Items and errands informs your perceived spiritual ineptitude. I wonder where the case for the God of Man stands.

Where you are reserved and choose to be your own person without playing politics or dancing to the gallery you are seen as either rude or arrogant.

When you choose hardwork over thievery and all that, you are seen as a fool who can't take advantage of situations and people.

In a situation where you preserve your body from misuse of substances and lusting after strange women then some thing must be wrong. Some even question your manliness.

It's sad these days one cannot be valued and appreciated based on inward qualities, hence Dod eat Dog.

And even when you marry abruptly, issues such as Maturity, Financial stability, sound knowledge of self etc are crucial vectors in the complicated Matrix of a worthwhile lifelong engagement with another person born of a complete set of beings.

As for me marriage is a life long engagement which should be entered into cautiously and strategically. Any potential partner can play to the script for as long as is desirable. May we get it right Amen.

[quote author=lynn360 post=35553300][/quote]Ok. Can you add me through my signature? Thanks

Sehindemi:
On a very serious note,@all single working class guys,wat'z y'all still doing unmarried?? Una truly get mission!!!

Plz marry me Lolzzz

Op, your list reeks of insecurity typical of a lost young man.

Why the hell do you care about what your office mates think of you and your status?

Singlehood or marriagehood is a choice I should make out of my own volition, but not what the society or majority compels me to. The majority, many times, is a group of highly motivated snails. NEVER take direction for your personal life from a crowd and NEVER choose to quit just because somebody disagrees with you.

its becos u r nt married u wont undstnd

even single women face such too, not minding the age difference between you and the married ones, just be single.

ds post is refering to me straight.not only ur place of work even at home,dy will also see u like player who wants to be fucking all ard.

U missed to put it here that u also make more money more than any of your married colleagues.

gudrated:
Sister, it ain't easy. Marriage is a life long commitment. You want to be sure before going into it. Sometimes, the work does not allow one to hang out and meet people too.

I feel your pain

Sehindemi:
On a very serious note,@all single working class guys,wat'z y'all still doing unmarried?? Una truly get mission!!!

R u married??
If not
Please
Kindly
Shut ur pie hole
Thanks

This same thing is causing distance between me and my boss. I have decided not to talk or make any joke in the office again unless.

I will just face my work and leave after closing hour.

Most of these married people claim to be all that when they are mostly just usually broke, dumb, frustrated, angry, and hence jealous (that ur as free as a bird) , and banging other people's spouses


Y'all think marriage is a badge of honor??
For all those men who married to get respect from other people and are paying a heavy price for it, it would be appropriate to stick a label on ur forehead reading "jackass". And no, we don't wish to be like u.



I have a dream
That one day
Men
Will not be judged by their martial status
But by the content of their character and social output.

[quote author=lynn360 post=35553300][/quote]Lynn. Pls kindly resend the BBM request. Mistakingly ignored

Op stop complaining. You need to read MESSAGE To GARCIA.

doskie:
im in that position my man. when I bought a land to start building, I expected my mum and elder ones to jubilate when they heard the news. but guess what I got.....


same old song!

but every where I go, I see rude and nagging ladies

or I see the not too fine ones with good behaviours.

cmon I want to fall in love. dont want to marry because the world says its time

A common experience. I saw many good looking and decent gals while in the university but I didn't pay attention to women then. Most fine and decent ladies get married early. They hardly stay single for long. Though there are still a few out there. We only need to key in and marry them. Mind you, i am not referring to those who are flamboyantly pretty. I am referring to ladies that are at least presentable and pleasing to the eyes.

stardragon:
rawpadgin, lukin 4 the right babe??
U can start from here!!

don't believe in E-love

gudrated:
A common experience. I saw many good looking and decent gals while in the university but I didn't pay attention to women then. Most fine and decent ladies get married early. They hardly stay single for long. Though there are still a few out there. We only need to key in and marry them. Mind you, i am not referring to those who are flamboyantly pretty. I am referring to ladies that are at least presentable and pleasing to the eyes.

in all love is most important sha.


but.....







I no fit love gal wen no fine o! Make I no lie.








I dont want to marry and still be turning my head back anytime I pass a fair fine tall chick wirh all the right features in the right places...




making fidelity become a function of opportunity.

Ivanspring:
Op you know what to do to stop these 'frustrations'. Why not just do it?

The OP shouldn't have to get married to stop the frustrations he faces at work. His problems just stem from the fact that young employees have little to no influence on how they are treated at work.

When u keep postponing our wedding nko
I go comot dat ring o

gudrated:
I work in a multinational company in Nigeria. Pay is very good. Life is wonderful, but unfortunately I find myself in a division in which I am the only single (unmarried) person out of over 100 people working in the unit. I face daily harassment and discrimination just because I am single. For goodness sake, it isn’t a sin to remain single after 2 years of working there. Gosh! Some of the issues I face are as follows:

1.Everyone expects you to work harder than others – My boss gives me more work than others. He keeps hammering on my head that he expects me to work harder than others simply because I have no wife or kids to worry about- Same annoying stuff everyone around me keeps telling me! I am expected to close later than everyone else simply because I don’t have a family! I am expected to bear more work burden because they think I don’t have other issues in life to worry about. Even when you work so hard, it is never enough because you are assumed to have abundant energy for the singular reason that you are yet not wedded! Isn’t that funny, or rather simplistic, or just plain annoying?


2.You are treated with lesser respect – In a gathering of colleagues, your opinion is not as highly regarded as others. No one really cares much about your opinions (especially non work related issues). Some pretend that they do, but in their actions, you can really tell that they don’t. Many think you aren’t responsible. Some think that all you do is to pursue interns or girls all round.

3.In an argument or debate, you hear “it’s because you are not yet married, you won’t understand’ – This is the most disgusting. When an ordinarily intellectual argument gets to a point when your fellow colleague seems to be losing out, he/she resorts to the cheap punch line “It’s because you aren’t yet married, you simply can’t understand” or “you are still young”. And I simply wonder – what does this discourse have to do with whether I am married or not? It’s just another smear remark on your singlehood.

4.You are an easy pick for relocation/ field work – When issues of relocation or extended field work crops up, you are easily handpicked for that. Reason: You have no family to relocate with. In other words, ‘na only you waka come’. My unit is considering relocating me from Lagos to one of the semi-developed state in Nigeria. I will resist as much as possible. But I know it’s almost a lost battle. No one cares about my reasons for not wanting to move. All because I am single. I was almost considering marrying urgently to block the relocation but it’s not advisable. I am assigned almost every time for field work on behalf of my unit. My other colleagues are easily exempted because of their marital status. Why me always?


5. Everybody reminds you every day of your singleness – Another frustrating issue I have learnt to live with every working day until I finally get married. Everyone reminds you that you are getting older. People ask you when you will finally present your wedding IV. People remind you that you have been working for the organization for quite some time. Colleagues (both senior and junior) ask you what you have been doing with your money. It’s just so vexing. Must I be told every single day at work? I already know for
goodness sake.

6. You avoid celebrating your birthdays in office because people will admonish you to get married – Celebrating your birthday, which ordinarily is a thing of joy, becomes a plague (in office) which you have to avoid at all cost. Why? It’s another opportunity for colleagues and other ‘well-wishers’ to preach to you on the need for you to marry. It presents another opportunity for your bosses and colleagues to remind you that your clock is ticking. The bulk of the prayer you receive is “By God’s grace, you will be married by this time of the year”. And everyone shouts a big AMEN! This piles a lot of indirect pressure on you to meet the ‘target’ set to you by others.

7. People call you ‘boy’ - How dare you call me boy? But colleagues do all the time. Many times it is unintentional, but this is because they still see me as a ‘boy’ in their mindset simply because I don’t have the wedding ring on my finger yet! I live on my own, cater for myself, support my parents and some relatives financially and live a comfortable life. Am I still a boy? Damn NO. It’s shocking that even my boss calls me boy when he is scolding me, but never does the same to others. For goodness sake, that’s a form of harassment.


8. You hardly receive compassionate leave – No one wants to consider you for compassionate leave, even after spending your holidays and weekends working. I recount the number of times my married colleagues have enjoyed compassionate leave. But my boss will not hear my plea after working myself out for him. It’s even a sort of battle to go for my company approved leave as he will insist that the leave is of little significance to me since I am yet to marry.

9. You become the errand boy - This infuriates me too, especially when there are no interns around. You do the running around for your bosses. You are sent to the bank, to shops, to pick stuffs, to run some personal errands for your unit. You are expected to do some dirty or menial jobs simply because you are a single man. I have almost become my manager’s personal assistant despite the fact that I am employed a core professional.

10. You are the odd one out – No one will understand how it feels to be the odd one out of over 100 people. That feeling of knowing that you are just different from everyone else only because you are unmarried. You tend to avoid departmental get togethers because everyone else brings their spouses except you. When you aren’t discussing work or sports with colleagues, then it’s most likely that the discussion will be on family issues. People keep throwing it at your face one way or the other. They talk about family friends, timeout with kids, house helps, vacation with hobbies, etc. but you remain silent, hardly able to contribute. It feels awkward to be odd.

These are some of the frustrations we single men face at work daily. Your experience may be slightly different from mine, but we demand equal and fair treatment. The good news is that we won’t remain single for a long time.

Now lalasticlala will come here and tell me sh1t that my post can't make FP because its old. Now this is a post that will be a year old by this time next month and its just making FP.
mods been contradicting their selves since 1406ad

Don't not and I mean don't be presurerized into doing anything if you are not ready. Marriage isn't birthdays, or child dedication - it's a contract for life!

We live in a society where if you don't conform to the norms, you are an outcast. Countless guys and girls have fallen to this because they don't want to be the odd one out and are frustrated after only a few years of getting married - funny. I used to experience this when I was working with one of the telecoms company, it's was just the same thing you were facing but worse. They all make you feel ostracized and the odd man out. No one will tell you the s..t they are going through in it, only the sunny side of things. I was never perturbed cause naija women are not my thing, though I am married to a foreigner.

Just be focus and keep praying and take it all in your stride. Work hard and build your career. The one you seek will come eventually, don't ever rush this please. Remain blessed.