₦airaland Forum

Tobiegal:
Finally some real sense!

What do you think you are doing snooping around her phone... talkless of impersonating her... Would you have taken it likely if it were the other way around?!

OP would advise you the same as i would advise a woman in your shoes...

You need to stop snooping around her phone with the mind of finding something? if only you have got a 6-10 job, this would be the least of your concern...

Please, sit her down when she's in a good mood, and talk to her nicely... if that doesnt work... talk to someone she respects... if da doesnt work.... seek the Lord in Prayers! Nobi only woman sabi pray for man.... you should also learn to pray for your woman...if the marriage really means anything to you!

And about the ring removal? what was your own reason for doing away with your own? You were enjoying, feeling fly like a young bachelor.... abi... tau! the tables have turned... she's an after 2 funky babe.... and you are here shouting all over the place... abegi! u tik its easy to born 2 and still look funky ba? na the result of ya attitude you dey see so.... please, free the babe jere...

peedeeasobie:
This is the type of advice women that cheat on their partner will give you!

Silly advice!

HopeAtHand:
Hey pal, where did you get your signature..i like it.

repogirl:
Yes, I said i was married and my husband doesnt have time to snoop through my phone or accuse why I am not wearing my ring, why?

Mutual trust garnered from frequent communication. If you dont have a certain trust and dependency in marriage, that marriage is a sham.

wagazala:
Bros, begin find new wife.

If your wife would go as far as cook and confide in another woman's husband other than you then obviously something is wrong. The usual template answer most people will give you on this forum is have a heart to heart talk about it to your wife, pray about it, etc. Forgerrit, if you don't have kids yet, i'll suggest you start packing your bags.

Chubhie:
I stole it from a Rebel named Buckminster fuller who got dismissed from harvard twice for lack of interest in conventional rules. He is spontaneous and original in his mindset regardless of consequences.

You must be a Godfather fan judging from your signature?

peedeeasobie:
This is the type of advice women that cheat on their partner will give you!

Silly advice!

mkpikpub:
If this woman has not already cheated on you with this guy, it's just a matter of time. Confront the guy and report him to his wife. Chikena

poseidon12:
@repogirl, so would you go to another man's house to cook for him? A man not related to you; and without your husband's knowledge.

mezebel:
To avoid early stroke ,stop interfering in her affair. She has kids for u,just play neutral.life has a way of exposing secret deeds. Make sure u both carryout hiv test every 3months. Just an advise.

zika1:
You're a very silly man. If you can't stand up to your wife maybe you don't deserve her. Anyways, she's wrong and you aren't handling the situation as a man should. PUT HER IN HER PLACE JOOR

perry2020:
Good morning brother,sorry about ur plight,yes ur wife is wrong but have u thought of why she is actually "flirting".sometimes when things get very boring some women love to switch things up,checkout a new or an ex and see the lattest with men,ofcoz they will go on dates to nice places and be very confident talking to one another.now my question for you,
1.are u sure ur wife is not bored
2.do u still take her to nice places or u stopped because ur now married
3.do u still show her much love,buy her gifts,give her massages when she complains of being weak or tired or did you stop all the love because you now have her. These are the new things a new guy would definitely give her because he wants to get down with her but when she gets enough from you if she is contented there is nothing those guys will wana offer that will freak her.try to spark up ur relationship,ignite her feelings.
4.as som1 said earlier boundries,you failed to create boundries
5.you should give her the impression,ur her very best friend and she should be free to tell u any thing,if u guys re having issues and she doesn't want to talk physically she can whatsapp u and tell u exactly how she feels rather than tell an ex or a new guy.she needs to stop trusting people excessively in this country with the way things re going,what if the man's wife came in and met her in his kitchen and gave her the beating of her life or his relatives perhaps,or he kidnaps her or use her for rituals coz she barely knows him so well.yet she trusts him enough to go to his house and cook without telling u,if she had even cooked in ur house and called him to come pick it up and introduce him to u would have been better and would have even proven her innocent of cheating.
It's never too late,as some said set boundaries,tel her to stop every communication with any ex or the new guy or else she should go meet them. if she continues then threaten her with a divorce when it's beyond you and see her reaction,if she is unremorseful go further by calling a lawyer (just for shakara) so she will know ur serious,if she still loves you or wants the relationship she would change.i wish u d best.

jannies:
Whether she's cheating or not, I think she is trying to pass a message to you which is other guys are there to pamper her emotionally where you are not. If she is cheating on you to do that, it is obviously wrong, but then you need to sit her down and talk to her, don't trade blames but ask her why she is doing all these, and then step up your game as a man. Many men have the notion of 'she's already my wife'. 'she has no where to go' and so on and forget their wives still have emotional needs which causes such issues. Why would you take off your own wedding ring? And when she does same it's an issue? She is only trying to pass a message across to you but in a wrong way
Why not try showing her some love, go back to the way you guys were when you were dating her, and please don't say things are still the same like the way it was then, because that would be a lie of the century.. I hope this helps!

fabiano09:
God knows i cant take dt shiit,d minute i find out my wife cooks for another man,an ex for dt matter without my permission,am throwing her out,straight up! Its abominable,as a Rasta its an insult.

MIPNIG:
Your wife is gone... But marriage is not entirely based on sex, so see if there is anything good left in her to hang on to.

Do you have kids?

F50:
My brother there is absolutely nothing wrong with your wife...the problem is with you. Now let me try to explain.

Your wife is behaving like a normal woman and that's how they were created. The problem is that you didn't created boundaries in your relationship.

Most women are created to be loyal and submissive now couple that with a man that disvirgined them or a man that is better than you in bed, what you get is an over loyal woman even when she don marry someone else.



Now you may be her husband quite all right but as long as you didn't set strict boundaries that are supposed to checkmate her past loyaltys you are in for this type of Mary go round.

I assure u that your wife loves you but why she removed her ring I believe she has already told you, and from her answer it looks like u caused it too. Some people believed in do me I do you god no go vex. That's if she was telling the truth about her true reason.

My girlfriend can not make the mistake of chatting with an ex not to talk of my wife.
She can not even wish him a happy birthday, she can't have his number on her phone, she can't pick his calls o! She can not interact with him through any media possible. She just can't simple.

For me its better my girl friend cheats on me with another man than with an ex. I will forgive her immediately if she sleeps with someone else I no go even think am too much...but with an ex? The relationship is over o! I hate ex's pass devil o! And she knows . she can not try any form of communication with ex o! Becos the wahala that will result she won't survive it.
These are the kind of boundaries you for don set since b4 una even marry. As in eeh the first time she even chat with the ex u for break that your flat screen TV for parlour and her mirror for room and her phone so that she go know say ex's na no go area.
Then if she flirt with a neutral guy just do like say e no pain u too much so that she will be able to differentiate ex's temper from neutral guys temper. You see she don dey understand u

JoeCutie:
I'm one of those people that oppose bringing serious family (personal) problems on here, but well...

Some time ago, a guy came here to brainwash all of us of how he hit his wife because she deserved it. He wrote a lot, and we all believed him. Not until the said wife (thankfully, a Nairalander too) came up with her own story, that we all changed our perspectives of belief. These things happen.

Hello, Op, I'm sorry, but until I hear your wife's own side of the story, I might be too incapacitated to judge. We all tell stories in a way to suit us. WE ALL DO IT. And just like I'll always say; in every story, there's an untold story.

But then, I'd advice you sit down with your wife, ask her what you ain't doing right, tell her what she isn't doing right. Don't argue about this, don't fight, just sit and talk like friends (not like husband & wife now), imagine you're meeting and "toasting" her for the first time, possibly with a drink. Just calm down, keep your cool and talk things over. You can do this. You guys can make things right. I know many people, especially guys, have advised you to find a new wife asap, but it's not always about the new wife. The devil you know is always better than the angel you don't know. Brother, this is a family issue, and I'd advice to treat it as such, with utmost maturity and respect. I bet you, how you're able to handle this situation, will go a long way in determining how your wife sees and respects you. Finally, I'd like you to see this as a second chance to do something honourable. Take this chance, and save your marriage.

Don't mind these guys advising you to do otherwise.. They've never been married, so they wouldn't know. There's no such thing as "Oh, I feel your pain" or "I understand". You can never really feel that pain of just throwing away your marriage, until you experience it yourself. Brother, show this lady why you're the man and why she should respect you forever. Go and make things right. Everybody deserves a second chance.

In conclusion brother, I'd advice you guys round off this 'talk' with at least, a very hot round of sex. It's very important. Trust me.

Good luck.

Cc: Freelance777

Chubhie:
I stole it from a Rebel named Buckminster fuller who got dismissed from harvard twice for lack of interest in conventional rules. He is spontaneous and original in his mindset regardless of consequences.

You must be a Godfather fan judging from your signature?

freelance777:
Dear Nairalander's

How are you all doing? I hope you guys are doing well? I am writing this post to express my fears of the unknown, because I have been a very trusting and reliable husband to my wife.

Before marriage, my wife have once told me about his ex who is supposedly his best date ever in her life before she met me, that apart 2 years into our marriage, we had an arguement in which she confronted me about a number saved with a lady's name on my dialled list. I openly and honestly told her it was my old school mate whom I missed her call and had called back. But she wanted to know more like I was doing something shady, that got me all roused up and I just told her to leave me be.

A week later, I received a call from her straight from work that my daughter had a serious cut on her lips due to an
accident, I quickly rushed down to the school, but met them at the nearest clinic where my daughter's lip was being stitched, few mins later I walked down to her school where she works nearby to pick up her car key then bring her car nearby so we could all go home, surprisingly, I found her wedding ring inside the glove compartment. A ring she wore out to work that very morning.

I didnt question her immmediately until the night of that day, I asked her why she had removed her ring and kept it in the glove compartment knowing fully well that the wore it out that very morning, she said it was because I have had mine removed since the past 1 month, so she also had the same reason to remove her's.

A week later, she opened up to me that she has been talking to her ex whom I described above, I asked her about what? She said she has been taking advise from him whenever we have issues. I kept shut and moved on.

2 more years into this marriage, I recently found out that her ex had sent her a whatsapp message, but she didnt respond, so I opened up a discussion with her based on ex's. I asked her if keeping contact of ex's or communicating with ex's is good for married people be it the man or woman, she said its a no no, that infact she will never accomodate such and that its wrong for anybody to do that. I immediately told her to open up her whats app, she did and I showed her her ex's whats app message, she at first was scared, wanted to cover up the phone somehow, but due to fear, she slowly relaxed herself and she said well that I can see that he is just talking and she has not been responding, and that its possible for someone you do not have on your contact list to send you a whatsapp message, I agreed, but countered her saying you also have saved his number with Abbreviation, if you never intend having future communication with him, why then did you save his number thereafter? I didnt get an answer, until later after two weeks when she told me she was in communication with him in order to secure a job for his younger brother. ( Very hard to believe) I moved on.


A few days later again, I was on my way to help her fix her iphone which she has abandoned like a year and the half, something just prompted me to dial his ex's number on that phone, behold she had saved the number as 'rsif' someone who bears Williams. Anyway I kept quiet still. The the final incident that gave me a final warning that this my wife might be cheating on me unknowingly was just a month ago when she told me she had met this dude on the same estate we reside, that he was into business and had also gave her his complementary card, I asked what he does, said he is an estate agent, I responded saying estate agency does not correlate with what you do, she said at least he can provide us good offer for housing by the time we are ready to move. When all of a sudden, she said that same guy had asked her to help cook since his own wife had travelled to the USA to give birth. She asked if it was right for her to go ahead and do the cooking, I immediately denounce that move that it is wrong, and that the guy has another motive entirely. I told her to tell him that he should ask his own family member to cook for him, and that she should immediately cut communication with him if she wants to last long in the marriage.

My wife responded by saying, she does not think the guy has bad intentions and that he is a cool and nice person with a very mild personality,that if the dude has such intentions, that it would be the most surprising occurence to her. I said well just do as I have said. Lo and behold, I investigated her phone and I found out that she had already cooked for this dude even before she asked me the question. I confronted her, and she said it was because I might not find it funny and thats the reason why she kept it a secret at first. I then promise to show her that the dude was infact a cheater whom is planning to cheat on his wife with my own wife. One day, I impersonated my wife, and started sending text as such as that am ready to give him what he wants, lo and behold, this dude was responding and was even asking where I was at, that he is ready to heal my wounds, a hug and everything that I needed. I showed my wife the text message, and she acted all surprised, but I was not, because based on the conversations that I have seen, it seems to me that whenever I have issued, he rushes to call the guy and tell him everything, which was a good avenue for the guy to provide emotional consolation in order to get what he wants.

I apologize for this long story, but I just needed to detail this story well, so that I can get insight of what I need to be thinking, what I need to do, and the right steps to take.

Thanks all.

liveexoticfish:
Humm My dear brother U have already cheated emotionaly but we are not sure 100% ficically
There is 4 point clealy to me that u done its like mistake but in another wway its not a mistake
1 U love her like I done in my home tOo
2 U don't want to be blame for any action for what u view and think
3 U have a kid that u love not to suffer
4 u are total confuse
This your solution I thing get bogging divece track him and cashr her red handly don't tell her u carch her call the whole of her family and example her done to them next call her offf