₦airaland Forum

Bibol:
Bet my inlaw you know that ain't petty na

thorpido:
To the critics of the bible who say the bible speaks from both sides of the mouth or people giving their own definition to words e.t.c.
The bible was not written in english and so words written in the english bible were translated.Some words could mean more than one meaning e.g knowledge could be eido or ginosko and they don't mean the same thing.Learn about the Septuagint.
Submit as used in the bible could be hupakoe or hupotasso.
Hupakoe means to obey or subject to.Hupotasso means to be at a disposition of another.It also means to lift one up to a level of worthiness.When the bible says a woman should submit,it's talking about Hupotasso.
What's wrong with a woman elevating her husband to a level of worthiness?Of course it goes both ways as shown in other bible verses.

bukatyne:
Thanks a lot and apologies NOT accepted.

Two green cocks, one yellow goat, the third eye of a lion and the tusk of an elephant pregnant with triples

And all will be well again.

bukatyne:
@Bolded:

What is wrong with a man respecting you? What is your definition of respect?

@post:
It is human nature to yield to people who treat you with love and respect

Even an 'egoless' woman will lock horns with you If you do not treat her with respect.

Richiy:
What men want is respect. Just give it to them and you would find him trying so hard to please and protect you.

Chidoks:
Okay i didn't put that well..what i meant was that he won't only respect you but would show it by making sacrifices for you and fulfilling all his duty and obligations to you. if he doesn't respect you he wouldnt want to please you na.

limamintruth:

Chidoks:
cocacandy, the thing is this.when you go all out to sincerely respect a man, he grows soft towards you.he tends to listen to you because you respect him.
Every man that is worth it sees himself as the boss, the captain of the ship called marriage.he had his ego.all you berd do is to massage his ego by respecting him.not necessarily being a fool but meekness that would reach out to his soul and soften the hardest part of him.once you get to that point, that man would have the urge to give back.
Now the only way he can give back is not to respect you.no.it's by seeking to please you.he shows it by doing things that will make you happy.he will do things he wouldn't have naturally done just to please you; things you may or not have asked for.
at this point if you stop he stops but if you continue you lead him on and this man will provide, protect, abd defend you with all he's got.
On the other hand if you show him that you are equal, competition starts.he will be compelled to maintain his top position which manufests in wickedness, rejecttion, and beating

Onegai:
You have restored my faith in Christians. Thank you for this. Thank you so much.

This is awesome. A thread in Family section that is sane. We need to keep a lot of people out more often

Submission got abused, which is why women struggle with it. I naturally respect some people because of what they are, not because they're male or older.

Jahblessme:
Can't say if im submissive or not,I know I have things which I have very strong opinions about and its hard or almost impossible for me to accept anything different.Dh is much more flexible.

It's a crazy but happy mix.I feel that when you are with a sensible man who you know loves you and would hurt himself first before hurting you,its easier to say okayyyyy make the final decision.Even if you are not happy with it,but you know that final decision is coming from a good place.

I prefer compromise,a little of my opinion and a little of his.That way, everyone feels they've contributed something and that their opinion counts.

We also have our strengths and weaknesses.There are some things that I absolutely have the final say in as I am more of an expert in that area.There are some things I can't even argue about and he definitely beats me hands down.The point is that the most sensible option wins out in the end.

I know i will not bend to anything that fundamentally repulses me.If you want to fall into a ditch,i will NOT follow you there because of submission,lai lai.

Maybe I'll change later and be more submissive as the Bible commands? Sometime in future?Maybe when I'm 90.

We are happy with our setup and that's ALL that matters to me.We have never even discussed this submission thing ever.What we do works for us.

Live in a way that you and your Dh get the best out of each other.

*back to troll mode*

Chidoks:
cocacandy, the thing is this.when you go all out to sincerely respect a man, he grows soft towards you.he tends to listen to you because you respect him.
Every man that is worth it sees himself as the boss, the captain of the ship called marriage.he had his ego.all you berd do is to massage his ego by respecting him.not necessarily being a fool but meekness that would reach out to his soul and soften the hardest part of him.once you get to that point, that man would have the urge to give back.
Now the only way he can give back is not to respect you.no.it's by seeking to please you.he shows it by doing things that will make you happy.he will do things he wouldn't have naturally done just to please you; things you may or not have asked for.
at this point if you stop he stops but if you continue you lead him on and this man will provide, protect, abd defend you with all he's got.
On the other hand if you show him that you are equal, competition starts.he will be compelled to maintain his top position which manufests in wickedness, rejecttion, and beating

Jahblessme:
Can't say if im submissive or not,I know I have things which I have very strong opinions about and its hard or almost impossible for me to accept anything different.Dh is much more flexible.

It's a crazy but happy mix.I feel that when you are with a sensible man who you know loves you and would hurt himself first before hurting you,its easier to say okayyyyy make the final decision.Even if you are not happy with it,but you know that final decision is coming from a good place.

I prefer compromise,a little of my opinion and a little of his.That way, everyone feels they've contributed something and that their opinion counts.

We also have our strengths and weaknesses.There are some things that I absolutely have the final say in as I am more of an expert in that area.There are some things I can't even argue about and he definitely beats me hands down.The point is that the most sensible option wins out in the end.

I know i will not bend to anything that fundamentally repulses me.If you want to fall into a ditch,i will NOT follow you there because of submission,lai lai.

Maybe I'll change later and be more submissive as the Bible commands? Sometime in future?Maybe when I'm 90.

We are happy with our setup and that's ALL that matters to me.We have never even discussed this submission thing ever.What we do works for us.

Live in a way that you and your Dh get the best out of each other.

*back to troll mode*

Jamean:
I have tried to walk pass this thread.

Submission bla bla bla. These things are not as complicated as people make them look. I think it basically depends on the relationship with your partner.

These days I observed that the literate and exposed men don't get all worked up with it. They just ensure there is effective communication with their spouse, mutual respect and every one is responsible. These days some men even let the woman make most of the decisions especially when you have a wise woman. It doesn't displace you as head.

Ironically, I observed that it is even the men that are not well to do that are overwhelmed with the strict submission thing. Like: greeting him good morning my Oga as if you are his apprentice. Ensure you prepare food when you are not physically fit to.

I knew of an illiterate driver that subdued and intimidated his wife in the name of submission. Even at his sick bed she was full of fear of him that she can't think or make decisions. Love has no fear.

Cc MarvellousGod

Empero1:
People tend to mix up " LOYALTY " with " SERVITUDE " . I am a man but I hate dictatorship in all ramifications . Therefore , one who's in position of leadership be it relationship or in any other form of affair should always strive to differentiate when crossing boundary from expecting loyalty to demanding servitude . As an individual , I owe my loyalty to he/she who have not given me reason to question his/her loyalty to me .

In summary , SUBMISSION in marriage just like loyalty , trust , respect and love should be earned not given .

bukatyne:
Hello peeps

I sometimes stumble on old threads and go through them again and picked on this 'submission' stuff again.

This thread is mainly for single 'feminists', 'feminazis' and ladies who cringe at the word submission.

Now I am referring to it as used in the Bible and not Nairaland's /Nigerian definitions and assuming the man in question knows what it is to love so this will be to ladies

Someone once defined it as 'loyalty'... that's a nice one.

Loosely defined, i will say it is all about learning what your man wants and doing it & pleasing your man. Now I do not care about what 'men' want but there is one man whose like and dislikes matter most to you as a lady. It is not being 'controlled' or 'treated like a slave' or having no say in your affairs. You also do not have to be a man's inferior or unequal to submit.

Infact, the dynamics of submission happens in every relationship including those with your friends. You know that your best friend you bend backwards for, always what to do what makes her happy, give her your loyalty and faithfulness.... translate that to your husband or boyfriend on a higher level.

Now it is your duty to enter a relationship/marriage with the right person. That way, it flows naturally as you always want your man to be happy and learn to be intuned with his needs. (No one is perfect and it is a process which you can start today )

So I say ladies... go and be found by your soul mate (If you are interested in getting married).

P.S.: I believe submission should start from a relationship (My personal opinion)


I will 100% appreciate we stick to the topic.

It is common knowledge I am a feminist and believe men and women are equal. I do not want anti-feminists rants on this thread.

Happy Sunday to everyone.

Chillis:

You and your submission threads and argument, your Hand no dey pain you ni?

Whatever makes one happy,do it.
If you like debate from now until 2050, people will do what thy feel is right for them. As long as they are happy, they can continue. If they so much think they deserve more they know what to do.

5minsmadness:
This is because the people that go about INITIATING trouble are already here. The more civil people are the ones who respected the op and kept out. Else this thread would have been derailed long ago.

Chidoks:
The aim is not to control / run the man.the aim of respecting him is to have a crisis free home but the resultant effect us that the man us softened by your humility and resoect.he ib turn feel to give back.he gives back by doing the things you wish/ ask.