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Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! - Family - Nairaland

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Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by daewoorazer(m): 2:01pm On Jul 04, 2018
1. Never put up in in-law’s house!

Even if your wife’s dad is Dangote, never be tempted to settle in his house. No that’s not economical, rather it’s sheer cowardice! You’d never be respected! Every hardworking and hard-thinking man has his transient trying times(the lazy’s trying period is eternal tho!) doesn’t matter if all you can afford is a 1 bedroom Lagos slum apartment for now, if your in-laws can’t trust your wife with your future, let them marry their child!

2. Never accommodate family members!

It’s baseless having to accommodate siblings, brothers and sisters In-law beyond marriage!Your house shouldn’t be an IDP camp for them; Or better still continue, your undoing will catch-up when your wife’s junior sister starts complaining you buy more clothes for your siblings than her. No matter the temptation, better hire a registered house-help and take care of your siblings and in-laws from afar. Always remember, not a human being can be satisfied!

3. Have a plan for all visitors!

Sit your wife down and tell her irrespective of the position of the visitor, have a definite number of days, quality of meal, departing funds to give all!

“You gave your daddy 2 pieces of meat, you gave mine 1” bullshyte stories have destroyed many young families. Be wise!

4. Never accept financial aids NOR borrow from your in-laws

That’s if you have any amount of dignity left in you, but if you don’t care to lose your voice, you can indulge in that. Better die than give in, I won’t say much, never look up for your manna from them!

5. Scarcity is invaluable!

A social function is at hand and you are already thinking how to help them arrange chairs and kill the cow. Can you also help them wash plates after the program?
Have your envelope ready, make it as fat as your pocket can, attend the gathering and leave!

6. Respect and nobility will save you a lot!

No matter how rich you may be, always prostrate whenever visiting them even if they are not worth any of your respect. Don’t be quick to anger, keep quiet when they talk; these are the measures your parents-in-law will use to either defend/destroy you whenever their child reports you to them! This value will win wars for you in absentia..trust me!

7. Occasionally send gifts

Once in a blue moon, never fail to send wine to your papa-in-law, also send money/gift to mama-in-law, do these and see them blush at the sight of you! It doesn’t matter if the wine is N50, it’s a conviction you had a little left for them having taken good care of their daughter.

108 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Mutemenot(m): 2:28pm On Jul 04, 2018
This thread should be on FP Lala, too many married
Men want to know the way out and this thread just did a marvelous favour that.
As for me, official relationship is what I keep with my in-laws. No calls nor visit unless there is an official reason .

36 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Noloss(f): 2:56pm On Jul 04, 2018
Nice pieces. Though I disconcur with some points

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by divinelove(m): 4:11pm On Jul 04, 2018
Really

Only good on paper

When you get married just know u now have the merging of two families, u now have two father's n mother's with more brothers n sisters.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Then learn to put your foot down when needed.

Help wherever you can and seek for help if you need one forming macho Man is needless grin

Some people are against sleeping in their in laws house hmmm well I will sit on the fence on this one and say it depends but if ever let it not exceed a night n that is grant that their house is big enough to give you a room

83 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Biglittlelois(f): 4:14pm On Jul 04, 2018
This is the undiluted truth

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by DaniDani(m): 4:20pm On Jul 04, 2018
Truly, handling inlaws inmarriage is a delicate issue that needs wisdom, understanding, and cleverness.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by milemimi93(m): 12:54am On Jul 05, 2018
The best is to marry an orphan..

14 Likes

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by daewoorazer(m): 12:58am On Jul 05, 2018
milemimi93:
The best is to marry an orphan..


Are you some sadist bro?

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by sisisioge: 7:35am On Jul 05, 2018
daewoorazer:



Are you some sadist bro?

He killed his gf who swindled him and killed his dad. He's been awfully unlucky with us female folks. He hates us like the sane hates terrorist. We can only pray he never begets a daughter. It is well embarassed

12 Likes

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Nobody: 12:06pm On Jul 05, 2018
In law wahala. It depends on the attitude of your in-laws. If they are proud and money miss roads please distance your self o. Also your wife has a lot to play in this. If she's a wise wife she would align with you. If she is a foolish wife, problem Don start.

If your blessed to have free,likable and understanding in-laws there is no harm in accepting gifts from them. It does not mean your lazy. It all depends bro! Study them!

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by thatigboman: 6:56pm On Jul 05, 2018
Was nice to my in laws initially when we got married.
When requests started flooding and all kinds of misbehaviour started. I said no no. And my wife was supporting them. Asked me if i didnt know i was supposed to buy a car for her family when i wanted to marry her. I say ehn? Then cut them all off. 100% cut off. Now none comes to my house without calling me. And we discuss how long they will stay and give them ground rules. If u like come, if u dont want to come, good.

61 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Aare2050(m): 10:43pm On Jul 05, 2018
Turn urself to maradona money tab man, say bye-bye to been broke...

Are you an unemployed graduate or undergraduate full house wife/sit at home mothers, salary earner or hand craft shop owner? hoping to gain financial freedom before the end of this year?

act now, check my signature
Do not procrastinate

2 Likes

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by lifestyle1(m): 10:43pm On Jul 05, 2018
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Drsamuel20(m): 10:44pm On Jul 05, 2018
playing with fire.

check my signature

1 Like

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by MANNABBQGRILLS: 10:44pm On Jul 05, 2018
Interesting

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Handsomebeing(m): 10:45pm On Jul 05, 2018
True! True!! True!!!

1 Like

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by PrinxArthur1(m): 10:46pm On Jul 05, 2018
Good but can it be practically done

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by DavidEsq(m): 10:47pm On Jul 05, 2018
No. 7 just worked for me o! Na madam even suggest am o! I grab he idea sharply and bam! Sh1t worked like magic OP, u da greatest! Ur head geh plenty oyel cheesy

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by iPopAlomo(m): 10:48pm On Jul 05, 2018
O agree with everything but number 6...

Remember say one day... you go do party...

1 Like

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Tombilly(m): 10:48pm On Jul 05, 2018
This is a wonderful piece @OP. I know some reprobates will still castigate it without dropping any reasonable . #Gratias
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by ibkayee(f): 10:49pm On Jul 05, 2018
thatigboman:
Was nice to my in laws initially when we got married.
When requests started flooding and all kinds of misbehaviour started. I said no no. And my wife was supporting. Asked me if i didnt know i was supposed to buy a car for her family when i wanted to marry her. I say ehn? Then cut them all off. 100% cut off. Now none comes to my house without calling me. And we discuss how long thwy will stay and give them ground rules. If u like come, if u dont want to come, good.
Oh lawd grin grin grin

4 Likes

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by engrjacuzzi: 10:49pm On Jul 05, 2018
the writer of this epistle deserve Budweiser beer...

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by OCTAVO: 10:49pm On Jul 05, 2018
smiley
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Iamgrey5(m): 10:50pm On Jul 05, 2018
Nice piece of information

Also never allow your in-laws to know your true financial state I.e good or bad

Politics is part of our everyday lives

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by mejai(m): 10:51pm On Jul 05, 2018
dis table una dey shake.... me I siddon for fence dey watch

2 Likes

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by happney65: 10:51pm On Jul 05, 2018
-------
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Nobody: 10:58pm On Jul 05, 2018
Spot on! Nothing kills a man if your inlaws "see you finish", make decision for you, help you financially or your wife updating them (she hasn't " left them) about the goings-on in your marriage.

Make yourself unavailable to your in-laws by not visiting often, even your wife's sibling living with you isn't too good and if they do, reduce your interactions.

Try to support/attend important events in their lives, especially parents of your wife. Show financial support and if serious(like death) attend their events.

You may not be rich but how you package yourself before them matters.
That doesn't mean you should show off that you are rich or live in highbrow area or drive an expensive car, when you know you can't keep up with such lifestyle.

It is ideal that you as the man, send your in-laws money occasionally and your wife sends to your parents (source of money can be either from you or wife).
Why? If you as the man sends money to in-law (wifey's parents), it boosts your respect and if your wife gives to your own parents (but I suggest she says, "my husband said I should give you..."wink, they know that your wife hasn't caged you from helping them.

Be kind but know when to say " NO" to things that can stifle your marriage, finances etc.

Don't sleep in your inlaws house or live with or close to them. If you, for example take wife and kids to them (say during December) and your village/house is far, look for a friend as close as possible or worst case, lodge in a hotel- that is if it is inevitable that you have stay in their house till late hour.


A married man has spoken. Peace!

38 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by IME1: 11:06pm On Jul 05, 2018
cool
There's no need for politics
Cause many people can see through facades

Be yourself

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by ashcall(m): 11:16pm On Jul 05, 2018
thatigboman:
Was nice to my in laws initially when we got married.
When requests started flooding and all kinds of misbehaviour started. I said no no. And my wife was supporting. Asked me if i didnt know i was supposed to buy a car for her family when i wanted to marry her. I say ehn? Then cut them all off. 100% cut off. Now none comes to my house without calling me. And we discuss how long thwy will stay and give them ground rules. If u like come, if u dont want to come, good.
na you biko.nugh respect man

1 Like

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by davodyguy: 11:19pm On Jul 05, 2018
daewoorazer:
1. Never put up in in-law’s house!

Even if your wife’s dad is Dangote, never be tempted to settle in his house. No that’s not economical, rather it’s sheer cowardice! You’d never be respected! Every hardworking and hard-thinking man has his transient trying times(the lazy’s trying period is eternal tho!) doesn’t matter if all you can afford is a 1 bedroom Lagos slum apartment for now, if your in-laws can’t trust your wife with your future, let them marry their child!

2. Never accommodate family members!

It’s baseless having to accommodate siblings, brothers and sisters In-law beyond marriage!Your house shouldn’t be an IDP camp for them; Or better still continue, your undoing will catch-up when your wife’s junior sister starts complaining you buy more clothes for your siblings than her. No matter the temptation, better hire a registered house-help and take care of your siblings and in-laws from afar. Always remember, not a human being can be satisfied!

3. Have a plan for all visitors!

Sit your wife down and tell her irrespective of the position of the visitor, have a definite number of days, quality of meal, departing funds to give all!

“You gave your daddy 2 pieces of meat, you gave mine 1” bullshyte stories have destroyed many young families. Be wise!

4. Never accept financial aids NOR borrow from your in-laws

That’s if you have any amount of dignity left in you, but if you don’t care to lose your voice, you can indulge in that. Better die than give in, I won’t say much, never look up for your manna from them!

5. Scarcity is invaluable!

A social function is at hand and you are already thinking how to help them arrange chairs and kill the cow. Can you also help them wash plates after the program?
Have your envelope ready, make it as fat as your pocket can, attend the gathering and leave!

6. Respect and nobility will save you a lot!

No matter how rich you may be, always prostrate whenever visiting them even if they are not worth any of your respect. Don’t be quick to anger, keep quiet when they talk; these are the measures your parents-in-law will use to either defend/destroy you whenever their child reports you to them! This value will win wars for you in absentia..trust me!

7. Occasionally send gifts

Once in a blue moon, never fail to send wine to your papa-in-law, also send money/gift to mama-in-law, do these and see them blush at the sight of you! It doesn’t matter if the wine is N50, it’s a conviction you had a little left for them having taken good care of their daughter.
There have always been serious issues between myself and my wife over families.

We have a policy in my family, which is to always respect privacy. We visit only when necessary and call/Text most times. My wife and her family on the other hand, they love to visit and like to even stay overnight. Because of my almost zero tolerance for this, we always have issues and she thinks I hate her people.

Last December, I had to ship her out to UAE for Christmas, when I heard she planned having her siblings come in from 24th December, till 2nd January, 2018.

Its always a battle, which she doesn't want to understand, that relatives she not pass their boundaries, since we too are a couple with kids and need to face our lives.

Sometimes, they just pump in without notifying me the head of the house. As usual, I get reactive, but as the Yoruba's would say, its 'Îsó léñû. But its the duty of our wives to always understand what husbands want as the head after God. The parents of the wife have done the handing over and the man is now in charge

Boundaries just need to be set in every family.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Nobody: 11:20pm On Jul 05, 2018
milemimi93:
The best is to marry an orphan..
Guy I hail o , you will this argument hands down.

1 Like 1 Share

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