Sagamite:


I have always said repeatedly on NL that this was the case.

All these yeye claim of "happily married", "the only jam in my donut" etc is a pure scam.

Marriage is an institution of "Settling", "Compromise" and "Endurance" in virtually all cases.

All these stewpid claim of love pisses me off as I can see through it.

As for the friend's claim that she is "happy", BS!

She is "content". She has settled for him, will compromise to be in a marriage with him and will endure the marriage.

Just like a vast majority of married men and women.

Saga, you are a clown.

"Happily married" does not mean there are no challenges naa

How can true love be a scam biko. Too much book is affecting you o

Sagamite:


I have always said repeatedly on NL that this was the case.

All these yeye claim of "happily married", "the only jam in my donut" etc is a pure scam.

Marriage is an institution of "Settling", "Compromise" and "Endurance" in virtually all cases.

All these stewpid claim of love pisses me off as I can see through it.

As for the friend's claim that she is "happy", BS!

She is "content". She has settled for him, will compromise to be in a marriage with him and will endure the marriage.

Just like a vast majority of married men and women.

There is a minority of married people who are 'truly' happily married

Don't tell me you are just going through the thread now

sagamite nice try . . you are sha always trying to excape marriage by all means
It wont work o!


Happy is personal
What I consider happy may be different from others
What it takes to make me happy may be different from others
Everyone has bad days, even the best marriages do
its how they cope with those bad days that determines what next

Kimoni:


I hear you ma'am but I'll still say it's from top to bottom and not the other way round. The questions is this - Were Nigerians like this several years ago? Was this our culture back then? I talk of my father as being a great man, Damiso says the same, you say the same. What has changed? My father loved Awo and several other leaders and made me read their books. Can I really ask my kids to read any book by Babangida, Abacha or any of these new generation rogues? No way. So what has changed?

Why does a typical Nigerian who throws thrash from his car while driving in Naija does not do the same in US? Driving one way in Naija was nothing odd in Lagos back in the days but who dares to try it now? Because there is now a system that metes out punishment to you if you do unlike before when you go scott-free.

Of course I see the weird comments on front page NL articles everyday but what system produced these crop of young minds? For a 3 year course in UK, do you know how long they take to complete the same course in Naija? Did you see pictures of some of their lecture halls and hostels? Not even fit for animal habitation. Yet, those are outer citadels of glory. Which type of output are we then expecting from these ones. Garbage in, garbage out. But yet, see how we still do well when we come to school abroad and get the condusive atmosphere?

We shouldn't underestimate the impact of the system on us as individuals. It shapes our thoughts and actions. Our leaders need to provide an enabling atmosphere for her citizens to thrive. Agree with you that we can't place it all on the doors steps of the government, but honestly, a large chunk of the work falls on their laps.

I feel in love with ur post. full of wisdom. Tank u

Kimoni:




Saga, you are a clown.

"Happily married" does not mean there are no challenges naa

How can true love be a scam biko. Too much book is affecting you o

Abegi!

There is rarely anything like "happily married". What you have is "contently married".

The whole happily married phrase is just a self-and-public-deceit term conjured up by delusional and dubious people who are avidly pro-marriage.

It is so rare, those that have it are possibly not normal.

I love to say it as it is.

Nothing wrong with "contently married" but no one should try and fooool me. I live my life being a completely independent and divergent thinker, who is comfortable being a contrarian to popular belief.

The whole world can be going one way and I will say "Fck it, I am going the other way". If you noticed earlier, I reminded cococandy that I was not a follow-follow person when I was talking about my Sagakids.

bukatyne:

There is a minority of married people who are 'truly' happily married
Don't tell me you are just going through the thread now

I just am o.

I was called in to answer a question and I strictly did that. Never looked at original post.

Yes, there are a minority. ........................A very tiny minority. ............................ A negligible minority. ......................... A strange minority.

tearoses:
sagamite nice try . . you are sha always trying to excape marriage by all means
It wont work o!
Happy is personal
What I consider happy may be different from others
What it takes to make me happy may be different from others
Everyone has bad days, even the best marriages do
its how they cope with those bad days that determines what next

I have escaped o.

Mo bo lowo won. (I escaped from them).

The more I look at the institution, its history, the changes taking place and the unrealistic expectations, the more it is less attractive to me.

Many confuse happiness to contentment.

Secondly, I can tell you with all self-assured authority that majority of marriages are DEFINITELY unhappy.

thelish:
I feel in love with ur post. full of wisdom. Tank u

Thank you

Sagamite:


Abegi!

There is rarely anything like "happily married". What you have is "contently married".

The whole happily married phrase is just a self-and-public-deceit term conjured up by delusional and dubious people who are avidly pro-marriage.

It is so rare, those that have it are possibly not normal.

I love to say it as it is.

Nothing wrong with "contently married" but no one should try and fooool me. I live my life being a completely independent and divergent thinker, who is comfortable being a contrarian to popular belief.

The whole world can be going one way and I will say "Fck it, I am going the other way". If you noticed earlier, I reminded cococandy that I was not a follow-follow person when I was talking about my Sagakids.

When are Sagakids arriving? Or has any arrived? Are they arriving outside or within the marriage institution? (I am not expecting any answers o)

You realise it's easier to impact them when you are still young, able and agile? At least speaking from my own experience, my older siblings say my dad had gone "soft" by the time I was born and I did not meet his "very disciplined" nature. And I hear and see the same trend around me.

Saga's views about union will change when he finds that one special person jare...

Love as they say usually makes us do silly things so nothing dey happen

Sagamite how many times have you been married?

jaybee3:
Saga's views about union will change when he finds that one special person jare...

Love as they say usually makes us do silly things so nothing dey happen

EXACTLY!!! .all this one he dey tok na paparazzi. My own is,he should just send us colour when time reach.

Sagamite:


I have escaped o.

Mo bo lowo won. (I escaped from them).

The more I look at the institution, its history, the changes taking place and the unrealistic expectations, the more it is less attractive to me.

Many confuse happiness to contentment.

Secondly, I can tell you with all self-assured authority that majority of marriages are DEFINITELY unhappy.

And I had one very beautiful "sister" with very good pedigree that I wanted to give you o!

Abeg dont use big grammer here joor! If you are content arent you happy?

Plus there are some things that marriage cant do for you. You have to be able to do those things yourself. Its when people expect too much they become dissapointed.
Marriage will not make a sad person happy.
Marriage will not complete a "half person" and make them whole.
Thats why you need to be matured and ready before you get married

cococandy:
Sagamite how many times have you been married?

See question o.

12 times.

jaybee3:
Saga's views about union will change when he finds that one special person jare...
Love as they say usually makes us do silly things so nothing dey happen

Idowuogbo:

EXACTLY!!! .all this one he dey tok na paparazzi. My own is,he should just send us colour when time reach.

You mean that attractive girl (lepa, Orobo, inbetween, I like them all), who is sexy, who has a nice attitude, is not selfish, is willing to consider my interest and does not think I came to world only/it is my responsibility to satisfy her interest because she is the ish, fun to be around and hardly are we fighting, can have an intellectual conversation or is at least willing to listen to one and learn, is ready to sign prenup and would not argument that my success was dependent on being with her, is not a slut, is a good mother, who is not emotionally needy and is at least reasonable in the kitchen (any cuisine is fine)?

You mean when I find that?

Think about it, how long do you think that will take before I find those in one person?

Kimoni:


When are Sagakids arriving? Or has any arrived? Are they arriving outside or within the marriage institution? (I am not expecting any answers o)

You realise it's easier to impact them when you are still young, able and agile? At least speaking from my own experience, my older siblings say my dad had gone "soft" by the time I was born and I did not meet his "very disciplined" nature. And I hear and see the same trend around me.

Ideally it would be within marriage, but I suspect most likely it will be outside marriage as that makes more sense.

I think if you have not had any, your energy would still be stored with limited diminishment even as you grow older.

tearoses:


And I had one very beautiful "sister" with very good pedigree that I wanted to give you o!

Abeg dont use big grammer here joor! If you are content arent you happy?

Plus there are some things that marriage cant do for you. You have to be able to do those things yourself. Its when people expect too much they become dissapointed.
Marriage will not make a sad person happy.
Marriage will not complete a "half person" and make them whole.
Thats why you need to be matured and ready before you get married

Beautiful sister?

How many times have I heard that and the girl come worwor small?

Contentment is not happy.

Happiness is about meeting most of your aspirations. Contentment is about meeting the minimum threshold of your aspirations and feeling/realising/convincing yourself that you can't do better or not having the willpower to do better.

Sagamite:


See question o.

12 times.





You mean that attractive girl (lepa, Orobo, inbetween, I like them all), who is sexy, who has a nice attitude, is not selfish, is willing to consider my interest and does not think I came to world only/it is my responsibility to satisfy her interest because she is the ish, fun to be around and hardly are we fighting, can have an intellectual conversation or is at least willing to listen to one and learn, is ready to sign prenup and would not an argument that my success is dependent on being with her, is not a slut, is a good mother, who is not emotionally needy and is at least reasonable in the kitchen (any cuisine is fine)?

You mean when I find that?

Think about it, how long do you think that will take before I find those in one person?

And what are you bringing to the table apart from your "wealth" [size=2pt] and ego [/size] ?

Sagamite:


See question o.

12 times.





You mean that attractive girl (lepa, Orobo, inbetween, I like them all), who is sexy, who has a nice attitude, is not selfish, is willing to consider my interest and does not think I came to world only/it is my responsibility to satisfy her interest because she is the ish, fun to be around and hardly are we fighting, can have an intellectual conversation or is at least willing to listen to one and learn, is ready to sign prenup and would not an argument that my success is dependent on being with her, is not a slut, is a good mother, who is not emotionally needy and is at least reasonable in the kitchen (any cuisine is fine)?

You mean when I find that?

Think about it, how long do you think that will take before I find those in one person?

What are you bringing to the table?

2CatWoman:




And what are you bringing to the table apart from your "wealth" [size=2pt] and ego [/size] ?

Hahahahahaha!

Are you a mind reader?

bukatyne:


Hahahahahaha!

Are you a mind reader?

Babes, I'm glad someone else was thinking the same thing .

2CatWoman:




And what are you bringing to the table apart from your "wealth" [size=2pt] and ego [/size] ?

bukatyne:

What are you bringing to the table?

You mean apart from the privilege of making her dreams come through?

Lets park the fact that I am not the one that wants to get married, so I really don't have to bring something to the table to negotiate over something I am not keen on doing.

The whole nonsense perception the average woman thinks marriage is or should be is definitely not my perception, so I am very happy for them to find a man that shares their perception because I will DEFINITELY define mine.

Why?

I no be follow-follow persin o!

But that apart.

I am bringing financial, emotional and physical security.

I am bringing a guy that can and will 100% provide because this nigga aint the type of option available in the black community to leave his child.

I am bringing a guy that is everly and everlastingly interesting, funny and knowledgeable.

I am bringing a guy that is a problem solver and mentorship.

I am bringing a guy that can raise SUPER-kids.

I am also bringing to the table a few in a lifetime opportunity for them to have kids with Sagamu blood running in their veins.

What I am definitely not bringing is the patience for BS. I can marry today and divorce 6 days later if I need to. ABSOLUTELY ZERO PATIENCE! No woman should ever think because we are married now, she can now misbehave.

And also I aint bringing a guy that will give away 50% of his assets.

So, yes, I am the MVP. I am bringing to the table far more than I need to bring.

Now how many women bring anything to the table to be worth that?

What's on this list that the woman won't be bringing?

Her own money.
Her own knowledge.
Her own emotional security to the union and what have you.
Giving you the privilege of being the father of her kids.

What 100% financial security are you brining except you're dangote and not telling us.

I've noticed some men exaggerate their worth as if the women they will get married to are kitchen stools that don't contribute anything to the marriage.

Sagamite:




You mean apart from the privilege of making her dreams come through?

Lets park the fact that I am not the one that wants to get married, so I really don't have to bring something to the table to negotiate over something I am not keen on doing.

The whole nonsense perception the average woman thinks marriage is or should be is definitely not my perception, so I am very happy for them to find a man that shares their perception because I will DEFINITELY define mine.

Why?

I no be follow-follow persin o!

But that apart.

I am bringing financial, emotional and physical security.

I am bringing a guy that can and will 100% provide because this nigga aint the type of option available in the black community to leave his child.

I am bringing a guy that is everly and everlastingly interesting, funny and knowledgeable.

I am bringing a guy that is a problem solver and mentorship.

I am bringing a guy that can raise SUPER-kids.

I am also bringing to the table a few in a lifetime opportunity for them to have kids with Sagamu blood running in their veins.

What I am definitely not bringing is the patience for BS. I can marry today and divorce 6 days later if I need to. ABSOLUTELY ZERO PATIENCE! No woman should ever think because we are married now, she can now misbehave.

And also I aint bringing a guy that will give away 50% of his assets.

So, yes, I am the MVP. I am bringing to the table far more than I need to bring.

Now how many women bring anything to the table to be worth that?

cococandy:
What's on this list that the woman won't be bringing?

Her own money.
Her own knowledge.
Her own emotional security to the union and what have you.
Giving you the privilege of being the father of her kids.

What 100% financial security are you brining except you're dangote and not telling us.

I've noticed some men exaggerate their worth as if the women they will get married to are kitchen stools that don't contribute anything to the marriage.

Una dey see?

Women and twisting argument.

How did financial security and 100% that were separate conjoined for me all of a sudden?

Secondly, are we now going to waste some time arguing that most women do not marry up and aim for that? They are not looking for and aiming for a guy that is more affluent than them?

Thirdly, are we saying it is not the norm for men to spend on women?

Fourthly, if a woman has money, knowledge, emotional security etc and thinks that is what I am going to be attracted to, then I am afraid she can shove it up her arsse because that is not what will make me marry her? That is like an illegal migrant crossing the Ocean to Europe saying he is coming with $50K so the Western countries should open their borders and celebrate he is entering their country. If he comes and says he is a potential Nobel prize winning scientist that can cure Alzeimer's, they might send a private jet though. One has something they want and need, the other has something of very little value to them.

The illegal immigrant is the one that wants to enter the country not the country inviting him, even though he might eventually be a valued member of the society. I am not the one looking to marry, even though it may eventually be a good union. It is important the more relunctant party is enticed with what they would like.

As for her giving me the "privilege" of being the father of her kid, well I am sorry to say, I have seen many women giving some black men the "privilege" of being the father of their kids but the men showed them how "privileged" they felt by being humble enough to renounce the right to that "privilege" and then disappear so she can hold on to the "privilege".

Sorry, cococandy babes, black men like me are gold to the black community. It is the woman's privilege I am the father of the child.

Too many useless black men around.

jaybee3:
Saga's views about union will change when he finds that one special person jare...

Love as they say usually makes us do silly things so nothing dey happen

Thank you jare
When he meets Mrs Saga . . .he will be hopping & singing to the tube station in the mornings

Sagamite:


Sorry, cococandy babes, black men like me are gold to the black community. It is the woman's privilege I am the father of the child.

Too many useless black men around.

Haaaaaa!
Beru Olorun o
Fear God
Which community are you talking about
The average God fearing educated Naija black man in the UK is a decent man
. . . . are you not decent? What makes you think that you are in a minority?

You better pick someone now, before you are left with ajeku & bones.
Forget TV01's argument o! The older you get the lesser your chances of being able to pick an "all inclusive" becasue she would have already been snapped up by someone who knows her worth.

tearoses:


Thank you jare
When he meets Mrs Saga . . .he will be hopping & singing to the tube station in the mornings

When I meet a girl, even if she makes my heart skip a beat, I have come to an awareness level that means I don't conjure up this romantic, bury-your-head-in-the-sand fairytale of us being together.

I will evaluate thoroughly (but not anally) to ensure it is worth a longterm commitment.

A lot of fine women's attitude of thinking you have to worship the ground they live on, and it is their entitlement, makes them fail evaluation.

I have to be happy and live happily. It is a freaking priority.

I didn't come to this world to follow social rules, norms or beliefs. I am in this world to enjoy the only one unrewindable chance I will get at living in it.

Sagamite:


When I meet a girl, even if she makes my heart skip a beat, I have come to an awareness level that means I don't conjure up this romantic, bury-your-head-in-the-sand fairytale of us being together.

I will evaluate thoroughly (but not anally) to ensure it is worth a longterm commitment.

A lot of fine women's attitude of thinking you have to worship the ground they live on, and it is their entitlement, makes them fail evaluation.

I have to be happy and live happily. It is a freaking priority.

I didn't come to this world to follow social rules, norms or beliefs. I am in this world to enjoy the only one unrewindable chance I will get at living in it.

You will enjoy it even more with Mrs Saga by your side
Trust me

tearoses:


Haaaaaa!
Beru Olorun o
Fear God
Which community are you talking about
The average God fearing educated Naija black man in the UK is a decent man
. . . . are you not decent? What makes you think that you are in a minority?

You better pick someone now, before you are left with ajeku & bones.
Forget TV01's argument o! The older you get the lesser your chances of being able to pick an "all inclusive" becasue she would have already been snapped up by someone who knows her worth.

You mean the ones that beat their wives, get drunk to stupor and have concubines lined up outside?

The funny thing is how they would pride themselves on not missing church on Sundays in their best dress.

Only someone desperate to marry will pick ajeku and bones.

And by the way, they modern world we live in now, majority of the girls and guys are ajeku and bones by 25.

They should be worried about me being "snapped up".

Sagamite:


Una dey see?

Women and twisting argument.

How did financial security and 100% that were separate conjoined for me all of a sudden?

Secondly, are we now going to waste some time arguing that most women do not marry up and aim for that? They are not looking for and aiming for a guy that is more affluent than them?

Thirdly, are we saying it is not the norm for men too be spend on women?

Fourthly, if a woman has money, knowledge, emotional security etc and thinks that is what I am going to be attracted to, then I am afraid she can shove it up her arsse because that is not what will make me marry her? That is like an illegal migrant crossing the Ocean to Europe saying he is coming with $50K so the Western countries should open their borders and celebrate he is entering their country. If he comes and says he is a potential Nobel prize winning scientist that can cure Alzeimer's, they might send a private jet though. One has something the want and need, the other has something of very little value to them.

The illegal immigrant is the one that wants to enter the country not the country inviting him, even though he might eventually be a valued member of the society. I am not the one looking to marry, even though it eventually be a good union. It is important the more relunctant party is enticed with what they would like.

As for her giving me the "privilege" of being the father of her kid, well I am sorry to say, I have seen many women giving some black men the "privilege" of being the father of their kids but the men showed them how "privileged" they felt by being humble enough to renounce the right to that "privilege" and then disappear so she can hold on to the "privilege".

Sorry, cococandy babes, black men like me are gold to the black community. It is the woman's privilege I am the father of the child.

Too many useless black men around.

@bold, yet it is the black men who won't let us hear for 'provision' they provide to their own kids and it is them who make more noise about what a lady has to offer or bring to the table.

Thank god say you know they are the even more prone to disappoint when it comes to being responsible. More prone to leaving strings of kids in their wake than others (maybe rivaled by Mexicans )

I wonder what all the noise is about.

tearoses:


You will enjoy it even more with Mrs Saga by your side
Trust me

Yeah right.

cococandy:


@bold, yet it is the black men who won't let us hear for 'provision' they provide to their own kids and it is them who make more noise about what a lady has to offer or bring to the table.

Thank god say you know they are the even more prone to disappoint when it comes to being responsible. More prone to leaving strings of kids in their wake than others (maybe rivaled by Mexicans )

I wonder what all the noise is about.

I already said that long ago.

https://www.nairaland.com/1579818/girls-night-out-discussions/30#37014651

That is why I know I am gold-dust!

Sagamite:


I already said that long ago.

https://www.nairaland.com/1579818/girls-night-out-discussions/30#37014651

That is why I know I am gold-dust!

I hear you

Sagamite:


You mean the ones that beat their wives, get drunk to stupor and have concubines lined up outside?

The funny thing is how they would pride themselves on not missing church on Sundays in their best dress.

Only someone desperate to marry will pick ajeku and bones.

And by the way, they modern world we live in now, majority of the girls and guys are ajeku and bones by 25.

They should be worried about me being "snapped up".

LOL
I have a cousin that said double the things you say here
Double!!! if not triple sef.
His mama was so worried at the things he used to say
Me sef I was worried. I wont lie.

Then GHEN GHEN
Today all I see is FB pictures & wifey and kids all over it
BTW he had 2 kids in one year
We are begging him to slow down.
If I didnt know better I would have said it was juju

I will send that bug that bit him to bite you.

tearoses:


LOL
I have a cousin that said double the things you say here
Double!!! if not triple sef.
His mama was so worried at the things he used to say
Me sef I was worried. I wont lie.

Then GHEN GHEN
Today all I see is FB pictures & wifey and kids all over it
BTW he had 2 kids in one year
We are begging him to slow down.
If I didnt know better I would have said it was juju

I will send that bug that bit him to bite you.

If I find the woman I described above, maybe that miracle will happen.