₦airaland Forum

PointB:
My people food is ready

You are hereby sentenced to Las Vegas for an attempt to make me choke on my ukwa dinner

All I can say is WOW!!! Nice one brother

PointB:
Feel free brother

Its all in the spirit of the wailing gospel. .the gospel of truth.

Whoever write this is a creative person. Impressive!

Absolutely brilliant write-up by PointB.
More ink to your pen bro

Jaideyone:
you have PhD in wailionogy
keep wailing and if Buhari wins again in 2019 you'll be a professor

wetin this slave dey yarn? Abeg give way!

Candyrain:
You are hereby sentenced to Las Vegas for an attempt to make me choke on my ukwa dinner

All I can say is WOW!!! Nice one brother

I like the Vegas part, pls send the ticket.

Thanks

Kastonkastroll:
Total bullcrap!!! I didn't even bother to read the next paragraph.

Wailers will wail for good 4years.

Son of blah blah blah


Yawning*

Your hIV status will always make you sad. Who cares?

ArodewilliamsT:
Your hIV status will always make you sad. Who cares?

Amadi collins the local rapist and kidnapper.

ArodewilliamsT:
wetin this slave dey yarn? Abeg give way!

Yeebhoe are slaves to all tribes in Nigeria, reason you are begging for freedom. You are all cursed till eternity.

Nonsense
PMB is not mumu unlike dat retard man from otueke. Wailers should continue to wait till 2023

Zoharariel:
This write up is not in any way funny & can lead to aggression & violence.

Aggression and Violence on a Nairaland post? This one doesn't look like a Danish cartoon or a french satire...
But then again, what do I know?

after1:
Yeebhoe are slaves to all tribes in Nigeria, reason you are begging for freedom. You are all cursed till eternity.

Abobaku, the frustrated descendant of a fallen demon from Odua Islamic Republic of Ritual-killers, you and your generations shall continue to bark and bark like the braggart Bode Thomas until you kick the bucket on Igbo matter.
Since you and your wicked and bile-filled kinsmen have remained unrepentant you shall not escape the impending doom as you continue your whining, weeping, wailing, yelling and noise making on every media at the mere mention of Biaf...

Zoharariel:
This write up is not in any way funny & can lead to aggression & violence.

Oh shutdafuckup!

Akanbiedu:
[size=20pt]PAIN[/size]

Time heals.

Abeg shift joor!

Zoharariel:
This write up is not in any way funny & can lead to aggression & violence.

If d article pain u, I guess u know wat to do. I blv there is a transformer in ur street, or a battery full of acid. Wen u wia caln jona clueless u didn't knw it wasn't funny and can lead to unrest

Zoharariel:
This write up is not in any way funny & can lead to aggression & violence.

My bros, e be like say u carry your own for body o. Dat tin funny na.

Zoharariel:
This write up is not in any way funny & can lead to aggression & violence.

My bros, e be like say u carry your own for body o. Dis tin funny na.

ArodewilliamsT:
wetin this slave dey yarn? Abeg give way!

ret@rd you're the slave not me

PointB:
The Acts of King Mumu son of Hari Chapter 1: 1-24

1. In those days, She-cow and his gang of brigands ravaged the land, and they took daughters as captives from the temple of learning.

2. The people cried unto King Jonah the able son of Locki, saying “Bring back our daughters and slay She-cow for he torments us!”

3. Whereupon the Almajirites from the land of Norte conspired with their devotees from the land of Yoruga to oust Jonah the Able Son of Locki from power.

4. Thus did they address the people saying, “Johah Son of Locki cannot protect you from She-cow and cannot bring back your daughters, but Mumu the cattle rearer, son of Hari will.”

5. And there arose the zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. And he and the people with him took an oath and made a covenant with the people, saying “In 100 days, we will rout She-cow and his gang of terrorists from the land. I will feed your little sons and daughters in our various temples of learning, and make the mighty Dollar same in value as a single Naira! And your able men, I shall give jobs in our orchards, and ten thousand silver coins to those without work. O, good people make me king over you instead of Jonah, and I shall do all these and more.”

6. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus addressed the people: Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son Nubu, Sara son of Raki, Ob son of Jeh (these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).

7. Thereupon, the people made Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, King over them.

8. On the twenty-ninth day, in the fifth month, two thousand and fifteen years after the death of our Lord, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, began his reign.

9. And King Mumu the son of Hari journeyed to the land of Germania, and upon return called them West Germania, and he forgot also the names of the house which made him king, for his memory often fail him.

10. Thereupon, he journeyed to the United World, without a scribe, to consult with Emperor Omanman son of Balak, the promoter of pervert men, to request for weapons to fight She-cow.

11. But Omanman son of Balak, would not give him weapons, unless he allowed perverted men, openly practice their perversion in his land.

12. And when King Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, saw what was before him, he declared to the people “Lo, I am aged, there is limit to what I can do. O people, why didn’t you make me king over you earlier?”

13. Then the people ask King Mumu to appoint men from among them who will help him reign as he’s frail and aged.

14. But King Mumu the son of Hari would not budge, for he found none worthy except himself, and those from his household. He said to the people, “I shall appoint them, in the fullness of time.”

15. Thereupon arose from his among his praise singers, a certain liar, Liar son of Momed. He visited King Mumu the son of Hari in the dead of the night and thus addressed him:

16. “O great and mighty King, thou art stronger than Samson, may you live longer than Methuselah son of Enoch and, may you crush all your enemies like Utman Dan Fodio your great grandfather.”

17. “O wise King, do not tell the people you are old and wrinkled and unfit for the job, for I shall tell them that your sneeze can cure their sick, your cough shall defeat She-cow and his army of terrorists, and your body language will fix the land and make crops grow.”

18. “O good king, even when thou shall tremble, I shall tell the people it is the earth that trembles at thy sight, not thy mighty self. And I shall blame all the ills of our land on our last King, Jonah the Able son of Locki, and the good shall be thy doings.”

19. And when Mumu the son of Hari, has been King over the people for hundred days, he addressed the people, and said unto them, “I did not go into covenant with you, neither did I promise to do anything in hundred days. Though I have appointed my friends, family and loyalists into power, it is within my power and my right as King over you.”

20. And the liar, Liar son of Momed addressed the people saying, “Lo good people, our great King Mumu the son of Hari body language has improved our power; his body language has improved our relationship with neighbors. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad O good people for surely, King Mumu son of Hari’s body language will bring food to our table, oil for our lamps, and fix our road, and defeat all our enemies.”

21. The people murmured, but could not speak out in shame for they have made Mumu son of Hari, King over them instead of Jonah the Able, son of Locki.

22. And She-cow continued to ravage the land, and hold captives. The great dollar continues to oppress the Naira and able sons of the land continue to lose their job, and not a single shilling is paid to any.

23. The people continue to murmur. And the liar, Liar son of Momed, continued to tell the people that the trembling King Mumu the son of Hari's body, is the solution to their woes.

24. And from across the big rivers, there arose another zealot, Nnam the bright, son of Dalu, and he addressed King Mumu the son of Hari thus, “Let my people go!”


Prequel
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses


Similarities of the characters with anyone dead or living is NOT deliberate!

The most creative post ever on Nairaland . . . . . .

(9/10!)

kettykings:
This made my day, I have not read such creative write up in Nairaland in a very long time.

Thanks PointB for bringing this to light.

Seconded!
Regional Autonomy lo le se o.

U haf killed me with this particular line


11. But Omanman son of Balak, would not give him weapons, unless he allowed perverted men, openly practice their perversion in his land.

You are indeed talented beyond measure. The way you twist words is something else.

CC
Severusnape
PointB

Choi! Just seeing this now. This is absolutely brilliant.

PointB nwanne, hope you don't mind me sharing this in my Facebook page?

17. “O wise King, do not tell the people you are old and wrinkled and unfit for the job, for I shall tell them that your sneeze can cure their sick, your cough shall defeat She-cow and his army of terrorists, and your body language will fix the land and make crops grow.”


This part got me rolling on the floor, laughing like a madman in the middle of the night.

Some people are so talented o!

PointB:
The Acts of King Mumu son of Hari Chapter 1: 1-24

1. In those days, She-cow and his gang of brigands ravaged the land, and they took daughters as captives from the temple of learning.

2. The people cried unto King Jonah the able son of Locki, saying “Bring back our daughters and slay She-cow for he torments us!”

3. Whereupon the Almajirites from the land of Norte conspired with their devotees from the land of Yoruga to oust Jonah the Able Son of Locki from power.

4. Thus did they address the people saying, “Johah Son of Locki cannot protect you from She-cow and cannot bring back your daughters, but Mumu the cattle rearer, son of Hari will.”

5. And there arose the zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. And he and the people with him took an oath and made a covenant with the people, saying “In 100 days, we will rout She-cow and his gang of terrorists from the land. I will feed your little sons and daughters in our various temples of learning, and make the mighty Dollar same in value as a single Naira! And your able men, I shall give jobs in our orchards, and ten thousand silver coins to those without work. O, good people make me king over you instead of Jonah, and I shall do all these and more.”

6. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus addressed the people: Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son Nubu, Sara son of Raki, Ob son of Jeh (these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).

7. Thereupon, the people made Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, King over them.

8. On the twenty-ninth day, in the fifth month, two thousand and fifteen years after the death of our Lord, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, began his reign.

9. And King Mumu the son of Hari journeyed to the land of Germania, and upon return called them West Germania, and he forgot also the names of the house which made him king, for his memory often fail him.

10. Thereupon, he journeyed to the United World, without a scribe, to consult with Emperor Omanman son of Balak, the promoter of pervert men, to request for weapons to fight She-cow.

11. But Omanman son of Balak, would not give him weapons, unless he allowed perverted men, openly practice their perversion in his land.

12. And when King Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, saw what was before him, he declared to the people “Lo, I am aged, there is limit to what I can do. O people, why didn’t you make me king over you earlier?”

13. Then the people ask King Mumu to appoint men from among them who will help him reign as he’s frail and aged.

14. But King Mumu the son of Hari would not budge, for he found none worthy except himself, and those from his household. He said to the people, “I shall appoint them, in the fullness of time.”

15. Thereupon arose from his among his praise singers, a certain liar, Liar son of Momed. He visited King Mumu the son of Hari in the dead of the night and thus addressed him:

16. “O great and mighty King, thou art stronger than Samson, may you live longer than Methuselah son of Enoch and, may you crush all your enemies like Utman Dan Fodio your great grandfather.”

17. “O wise King, do not tell the people you are old and wrinkled and unfit for the job, for I shall tell them that your sneeze can cure their sick, your cough shall defeat She-cow and his army of terrorists, and your body language will fix the land and make crops grow.”

18. “O good king, even when thou shall tremble, I shall tell the people it is the earth that trembles at thy sight, not thy mighty self. And I shall blame all the ills of our land on our last King, Jonah the Able son of Locki, and the good shall be thy doings.”

19. And when Mumu the son of Hari, has been King over the people for hundred days, he addressed the people, and said unto them, “I did not go into covenant with you, neither did I promise to do anything in hundred days. Though I have appointed my friends, family and loyalists into power, it is within my power and my right as King over you.”

20. And the liar, Liar son of Momed addressed the people saying, “Lo good people, our great King Mumu the son of Hari body language has improved our power; his body language has improved our relationship with neighbors. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad O good people for surely, King Mumu son of Hari’s body language will bring food to our table, oil for our lamps, and fix our road, and defeat all our enemies.”

21. The people murmured, but could not speak out in shame for they have made Mumu son of Hari, King over them instead of Jonah the Able, son of Locki.

22. And She-cow continued to ravage the land, and hold captives. The great dollar continues to oppress the Naira and able sons of the land continue to lose their job, and not a single shilling is paid to any.

23. The people continue to murmur. And the liar, Liar son of Momed, continued to tell the people that the trembling King Mumu the son of Hari's body, is the solution to their woes.

24. And from across the big rivers, there arose another zealot, Nnam the bright, son of Dalu, and he addressed King Mumu the son of Hari thus, “Let my people go!”


Prequel
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses


Similarities of the characters with anyone dead or living is NOT deliberate!

cc gaborone auntysusan

This is so creative and funny
Waiting for the next one.

Hahhahahahahahhaahahahahahha.
This is funny and creative too!!!!!!!!

PointB part 2

exxell:
PointB part 2

You mean Part 4?

I did part 1 and 2 sometime ago.

Part 1
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses

Part 2
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses#31228334

pazienza:
Choi! Just seeing this now. This is absolutely brilliant.

PointB nwanne, hope you don't mind me sharing this in my Facebook page?

My brother, pls feel free.
Exposing this scam of presidency is a task that must be done.

PointB, you deserve a Noble prize for this.

Keep it up!

WombRaiders:
PointB, you deserve a Noble prize for this.

Keep it up!

Hehehehe.

Thankx

PointB:


You mean Part 4?

I did part 1 and 2 sometime ago.

Part 1
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses

Part 2
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses#31228334

I meant the part 2 of this particular post bro