₦airaland Forum

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Hmmm. It is quite simple...get a test to be absolutely sure then take care of your child if he is. May God help us all.

Ok..


The story was sweet

#throws a seed of groundnut in the air and catches it with mouth#

Steps to take:

1. Demand for a DNA TEST. it costs N75,000. Results will be out in 2weeks. If the child isn't yours you're free to go.

2. If the child is yours visit the child, offer financial assistance BUT DO NOT LET THE MOTHER GET INVOLOVED IN YOUR LIKE. She tricked you into this mess and even though u want to do the noble thing, you will still hold that hurt in your heart and will be resentful towards her. If you marry her that resentment will come out and will make your life and hers miserable.

3. You made a mistake but we all make mistakes. Realise that you are not alone. Others have fallen into the same trap. However they have found that they could move on with thier lives and have done so.

Good luck.

First thing first go for a DNA test to be sure the baby is yours then come back for more advice.

It is imperative to be sure that the baby is yours!

brocode:
Okay, first of all I know lots of people talk crap just to sound funny here. I get that, its good for the forum but this is a serious situation and am seeking real conversations and advice, possibly legal on this issue.

I am a young graduate working in Abuja after my service. It was tough but I rather be up to something than go stay with my folks back home. I work seven days a week and didnt have time much for dating any girl since I just started out at the labour market. I really wanted to get it right. I always give my best to everything I do. I graduated with flying colours and am used to been at the top of my game in every situation so thats why this is hard and I had to share.

Sometimes last year I was travelling out of Abuja to see some relatives and I met a girl on the bus. It was at least a 4-5 hours journey. She was sitting right next to me so not to make the journey boring we started a conversation. I could see immediately she likes me but I played it gently and kept it casual till our destination. Anyways I value friendship particularly with a girl. I have been friend with some other girl since after secondary school and we still talk normally, nothing sexual. Just to paint a picture of my kind of person. Anyways I got her number, got a good peck and that was it.

She had said something about going to pay some visit but something told me she wasnt who she was painting herself as and that she was probably travelling out of town to get the D possibly for dough. I dont usually judge people so I made her comfortable even when I could see between her stories. I was full of energy and made her laugh a lot and she then even said she wants to travel to my part of the town to come see me but I didnt let her as I only get a fews days out of town, I wanted to make the most of it with my relatives.

Long story short, I returned to Abuja and continued the hustles. She kept in touch on WhatsApp and with calls though. After much insistance I promised to let her come over when I come to town. Almost one months after I returned I still didnt find time and wasnt very keen on seeing her but I was still very nice and keep the conversation going on WhatsApp.

After a few weeks I had problems with my Boss and had to quit because of unpaid salaries and the strain of the work. Its was a very tough fews weeks of my life. I didnt even have where to stay at some point but finally I was squarting with some guy. After a few days, he travelled out of town so I had the place to myself and doing nothing all day but sitting on my PC trying to build somethings or walk my way up to the next connect, I asked her to come over.

She did and spent the night. It was a way of getting my frustration of my unpaid salaries out of the way. As God would have it one of my hustles pulled through a few days after and I had to leave for Europe for further studies. I still kept in touch with this girl on WhatsApp just like other folks in my life. I wasnt expecting to travel so soon and had less than a week to prepare.

We exchanged a few messages everyday and it became less and less as the week goes by. But we still talk every now and then at least four out of seven day a week. We even exchanged pictures but while I send pictures I take like selfies she was sending me old pictures I have seen before on her phone. I asked her to take a picture of her she looks now ad send to me. She did after much persuations. I noticed she was a bit plumpy and I asked her about it and she said she is fine and she was just eating a lot. I sensed she was pregnant, I asked her but she said no she wasnt. That was like five months after I left Nigeria. I was worried because I remember sometime in the morning while she was at my place, she was begging that since she didnt make me 'come' its wasnt fair as she cant even walk now and all and that I did a fantastic job and all... blah blah blah. I now had a run without condom after we had a conversation about the medical consequences but she brought out bitter kola and eat and said pregnancy wouldnt be it except something else. Long story short, I did it in the morning.

I was asking her about it for the next few days and she denied it and she said we cant even be together so why would she keep my baby as am more of career guy and student now. I let matters lie. No need worrying myself so I thought. I need to focus on what brought me to Europe. I felt she was a bit hostile so I reduced the frequency of our conversations and also because I had switched my WhatsApp to a the foriegn number.

Then after a few weeks back I contacted her again on WhatsApp as I was on summer break and was trying to catch up with everybody back home. I was in a good mood so I joked with her that does she have a baby now. To my shock She said YES! and that she was sure it was my baby and she was sorry she hide it from me all this while but I dont have to worry about him as she is used to it now, surviving with the baby. She asked weather I wanted to see a picture of this child. In my shocked I pleaded with her that that wasnt funny as am not ready to be a dad yet as I didnt want my child to go through what I had to go through and all. She got mad and said she knew I wasnt going to be with her and all and what kind of man doesnt even care about his family and all... so much blah blah blah.

Now am I nice guy. If I have a son, that means I have to step up to the responsiblity. I feel she is a very wicked person for doing this. I want my son to have the best up bringing. I could send all I have now to give him that but at the same time I dont know what to do. I dont what my son to grow up with her, as my psychology and personality my mum taught me was what took me from a nobody to a fairly recognised person across the atlantic. I want my son to have that at least. And I know for sure she is nothing like that.

PLEASE ADVICE on what to do.
Thank You.

N'a wah. This story long oh.
Anyway I will sleep over/in/on it.

5minsmadness:
Steps to take:

1. Demand for a DNA TEST. it costs N75,000. Results will be out in 2weeks. If the child isn't yours you're free to go.

2. If the child is yours visit the child, offer financial assistance BUT DO NOT LET THE MOTHER GET INVOLOVED IN YOUR LIKE. She tricked you into this mess and even though u want to do the noble thing, you will still hold that hurt in your heart and will be resentful towards her. If you marry her that resentment will come out and will make your life and hers miserable.

3. You made a mistake but we all make mistakes. Realise that you are not alone. Others have fallen into the same trap. However they have found that they could move on with thier lives and have done so.

Good luck.

Thanks.

I am in Europe now, and I am probably going to be here for another two years or more. If I was in Nigeria, I would probably go and give my ex-boss a good punch and then Man up to my new situation. But how can I do the DNA in proxy: Challenge No. 1.

There is no way am getting involved with her. Even without a child with me and situations werent like they were, I wouldnt go into a relationship with her (I guess its a little late to cry now).

Am trying to concentrate but the worst part is not been able to bring it to your family as it might break my poor mum's heart knowing how much I have tried hard to pull through live without mistakes.

SAMBARRY:
Ok..


The story was sweet

Its hard to believe I know but this is a real situation.

Nigga44:
#throws a seed of groundnut in the air and catches it with mouth#

This kick started my day! I dunno why
Thank you!!!

brocode:
Thanks.

I am in Europe now, and I am probably going to be here for another two years or more. If I was in Nigeria, I would probably go and give my ex-boss a good punch and then Man up to my new situation. But how can I do the DNA in proxy: Challenge No. 1.

There is no way am getting involved with her. Even without a child with me and situations werent like they were, I wouldnt go into a relationship with her (I guess its a little late to cry now).

Am trying to concentrate but the worst part is not been able to bring it to your family as it might break my poor mum's heart knowing how much I have tried hard to pull through live without mistakes.

Hehehe
Mothers are complicated creatures. Tell her first. You 'd be surprised she wouldn't be as hard hit as you think. Give her a virtual scenario, mention it casually like it happened to your friend, then see her reaction or ask her how she would react if it was her. A friend had the same issue, good boy of the family went an Impregnated one useless girl like that. He thought his mother would be heartbroken but she took it quite well. Said she'll be more than happy to take care of the child.

Let your mom know. In fact she can even run proxy for you and do the DNA test on your behalf. Whatever the outcome you'll be able to handle it as a family. You haven't done the worst thing in the world. Life will go on.

Like some1 said...DNA first. ...meanwhile I think there is a means of doing the test despite the distance.I also think your sibling here in Nigeria can stand in for you.I know laboratories here that operates globally...all you need do is contact them,though with more financial implication outside the usual 80k for the test.

brocode:
Thanks.

I am in Europe now, and I am probably going to be here for another two years or more. If I was in Nigeria, I would probably go and give my ex-boss a good punch and then Man up to my new situation. But how can I do the DNA in proxy: Challenge No. 1.

There is no way am getting involved with her. Even without a child with me and situations werent like they were, I wouldnt go into a relationship with her (I guess its a little late to cry now).

Am trying to concentrate but the worst part is not been able to bring it to your family as it might break my poor mum's heart knowing how much I have tried hard to pull through live without mistakes.

Really.

But that didn't stop you from mounting her and firing away like there was no tomorrow.

You son, didn't ask to be born. Man up and take responsibility for your "mistakes". And next time, remember to put a raincoat over "it".

This your topic title self.

cococandy:
This your topic title self.

Beauty and the beast huh?

Phema:
Beauty and the beast huh?

lol.
He's the beauty in this case.

Oga, this your story is sooo long and I haven't finished.

But from the beginning it seems you lied or something. You absolutely don't want a relationship but you always "value friendships with females" and you could tell she liked you.....? Does that add up to you. Honestly.

MrsPhyno:
Oga, this your story is sooo long and I haven't finished.

But from the beginning it seems you lied or something. You absolutely don't want a relationship but you always "value friendships with females" and you could tell she liked you.....? Does that add up to you. Honestly.

He even solicited for a kiss on the very first day they met at a Molue bus park.

What does that say about his person? Yet he claims to be the "good" guy and victim in all of this.

Ur mama needs to know, I don't even trust that the girl will be a responsible mum to the child. I'm sure dna can be done by proxy, somehow it can be done.

Am I d only one sensing that the op is cocky or smthn

MrsPhyno:
Oga, this your story is sooo long and I haven't finished.

But from the beginning it seems you lied or something. You absolutely don't want a relationship but you always "value friendships with females" and you could tell she liked you.....? Does that add up to you. Honestly.

You dont make much sense here...

EfemenaXY:
He even solicited for a kiss on the very first day they met at a Molue bus park.

What does that say about his person? Yet he claims to be the "good" guy and victim in all of this.

If you gat your game up, you can get laid in less than 3hours of conversation. That doesnt mean u re bad, it means you are man enough. BAD would have been going one round at least when we got to our destinations before we part ways.

brocode:
If you gat your game up, you can get laid in less than 3hours of conversation. That doesnt mean u re bad, it means you are man enough. BAD would have been going one round at least when we got to our destinations before we part ways.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

You laying a girl less than three hours means you are man enough..
The girl you laid less than three hours is bad

Hehehehehe!

You definitely have very poor taste if you go about dipping your 'good' dick into bad girls and you are one with whoever you lay so...

You become a bad boy by the virtue of laying a bad girl

and a hypocrite because you cannot see you are bad

And I thought you were serious self.

bukatyne:
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

You laying a girl less than three hours means you are man enough..
The girl you laid less than three hours is bad

Hehehehehe!

You definitely have very poor taste if you go about dipping your 'good' dick into bad girls and you are one with whoever you lay so...

You become a bad boy by the virtue of laying a bad girl

and a hypocrite because you cannot see you are bad

And I thought you were serious self.

My point exactly, instead of giving advice where necessary, you are condemning! It is sad that all the criticism are coming from females.
I threw slime at those two comments because they werent here to give advice by to judge and condemn.

"Okay, first of all I know lots of people talk crap just to sound funny here. I get that, its good for the forum but this is a serious situation and am seeking real conversations and advice, possibly legal on this issue"

That was how I started the narration.

brocode:
My point exactly, instead of giving advice where necessary, you are condemning! It is sad that all the criticism are coming from females.
I threw slime at those two comments because they werent here to give advice by to judge and condemn.

"Okay, first of all I know lots of people talk crap just to sound funny here. I get that, its good for the forum but this is a serious situation and am seeking real conversations and advice, possibly legal on this issue"

That was how I started the narration.

@Bold:

Shows you are a very serious joker

You said you couldn't have a serious relationship with the girl because she is 'bad' yet you can dip your dick inside her

AND you are saying people are judging you?

Rich

bukatyne:
@Bold:

Shows you are a very serious joker

You said you couldn't have a serious relationship with the girl because she is 'bad' yet you can dip your dick inside her

AND you are saying people are judging you?

Rich

A history of your topics and comments shows I dont require a response to this.

brocode:
A history of your topics and comments shows I dont require a response to this.

Response or not,

I am not the one stuck with a baby from a woman who is immoral.

Good day

bukatyne:
Response or not,

I am not the one stuck with a baby from a woman who is immoral.

Good day

haha, we could make a good couple

brocode:
haha, we could make a good couple

She's married with 3 children.

Run for ya life!!!

brocode:
If you gat your game up, you can get laid in less than 3hours of conversation. That doesnt mean u re bad, it means you are man enough. BAD would have been going one round at least when we got to our destinations before we part ways.

Yet you're the good guy and she's the bad one.
Why is that so?

cococandy:
Yet you're the good guy and she's the bad one.
Why is that so?

I might as well speak for him.

Because the more easily a man gets laid, the gooder he becomes while the more easily a lady gets laid, the badder she becomes.

Yea, the world works in mysterious ways.

Phema:
I might as well speak for him.

Because the more easily a man gets laid, the gooder he becomes while the more easily a lady gets laid, the badder she becomes.

Yea, the world works in mysterious ways.

Funny dude.

From his story, he doesn't want anything to do with the girl. From day one.
She was just a fling that pushed herself on him.

Yet he's surprised she kept the child from him.
Doesn't it make sense if she thought that he would reject the baby hence her not telling him.