Background:
American (overall Boss; title of office = President/CEO)
Nigerian (staff) (me)
Ghanaian (staff) (colleague of mine)

My Ghanaian colleague and I were chatting with our boss. My colleague and I are at the same level, more or less; each extremely professional, with PhDs to boot.

Unfolding event:

The discussion happened during a dinner organized by our organization and the boss was going around meeting his staff and getting introduced to them; he is a new appointment. I was seated with the Ghanaian whom I considered a brother, and with whom, quite frankly, I have always gone along well. Besides, we are the only Africans in the organization.

The boss sat with us for quite some time chatting, compared to the time he took with others. I presume he did this because we were the only people ''different'' from the rest, and he would have been naturally curious to learn more about us. So he really chatted with us for a long time. In the course of the discussion, he had asked my colleague if he was Nigerian and he said ''No''. ''I am Ghanaian'', he went on to say, ''but Ghana and Nigeria are at the same wavelength'', he added. The boss replied, ''but you guys see things more similarly in Ghana than Nigerians do, as far as I know''. At that point I got really edgy, thinking the boss wants to throw a bombshell at Nigeria, and I am Nigerian.

To my surprise, it was my African colleague who did. Hear him. ''Sure, Nigerians are much more corrupt than us, and they hate each other with so much passion''. He continued, ''they always want to rip you off your money, and they kill each other in real time'' (that is, in reality) and online as well''. I was thrown aback and felt extremely betrayed, but I could not, and would not, start an argument, with a new boss around who is eager to know his staff, but who apparently knows one or two things about Nigeria (where I happen to come from). You know what they say in America about the ''angry black man'', right? So I was not about to lose my cool.

''So where are you from?", he eventually asked me. In a split moment I was torn between saying Nigeria or Biafra (I am Igbo, BTW). Saying Biafra would have given me immediate ''immunity'' from the problems associated with the name, ''Nigeria''. But then the boss, elderly enough to know about the Nigerian civil war, would immediately have asked ''Biafra? Do you have a new country now'', and all that kind of stuff. Then the discussion would have become even more tortuous and perhaps messier. ''I am from Nigeria'', I said smiling. ''But I am American too'', I added (just for disclosure, I hold a US citizenship see thread https://www.nairaland.com/1974578/received-us-citizenship-today-im

He turned his head and looked at the Ghanaian. ''Did you know he is Nigerian? he asked. ''Yes I know, but he is a different Nigerian from the ones I described to you,'' replied the Ghanaian. I could see that the boss was surprised that someone could speak so negatively about the heritage of another right in their face without any respect or regard for their presence.

I did my best to conceal my consternation with the Ghanaian until the boss left. I then tongue-lashed him, after which I stormed out on him. Since then, he has been apologizing but I find it hard to forget the betrayal, even though I know that the mutual hatred and killing accusations he had made about Nigerians are not far from the truth. Although I do not want to hate Ghana as a country because its citizen disparaged Nigeria the way he did, I feel I have to watch my interactions with this particular Ghanaian.

Lessons learned:

Nigerians should stop the morbid hatred they have been exhibiting, both offline and online, against each other. The world is reading and watching, and cyberspace has made everything accessible these days. Nairaland has been a ''good'' online resource for outsiders to learn how hateful we have been towards each other. If I were the Nigerian authorities, I would ban Nairaland at this point. The minders of this site have done a bad job promoting the unity of Nigeria.

As for me, I do not know if I have made any hateful and ethnically disparaging comments on Nairaland in the past. If I ever have, that would be the last such comment I would make here, and I ask to be forgiven.

If Nigerians must live together as citizens of one country, which I believe we should, then we should begin to actually live together. It is not for nothing that God (or is it the British ) brought us together, 250 ethnic groups. We should make this work.

Thanks for reading.

A branch of my PhD research topic is based on Nigerians in the diaspora, especially China. I find it disgraceful to see others look down us with such disgust. So before we start screaming "Gofment ", we should first look at fixing ourselves. We have washed our dirty linen outside, so don't blame ur friend; blame our lack of shame mentality.

ryd3:
A branch of my research topic is based on Nigerians in the diaspora, especially China. I find it disgraceful to see others look down us with such disgust. So before we start screaming "Gofment ", we should first look at ourselves.

Yes, that is the crux of this thread. What kind of followership do we have in Nigeria? These wicked leaders we have today were all followers a few years ago, some even a few months ago. So from where did they learn to be wicked and corrupt? Apparently, they were already wicked and corrupt as ordinary citizens, and becoming leaders brought out the full beast in them. Nigeria's problems are as much of followership as they are of leadership. Ask yourself, why do we as citizens find it hard to demonstrate against our leaders when they go wrong?

Lol, Op if you can give me 6 ways we can achieve unity in this country....... 4 out of that 6 has already been tried and it didn't work for decades now..... NIGERIA IS NOT ONE & CAN NEVER BE ONE... Let the paedophil & child rapist Muhammed Buhari come and arrest me..

Nigeria is at a dangerous stage where a breakup is beginning to look like the only solution to corruption and ethic violence.
No unity and love among all the tribes.
I pray we will not spiral out of control as we tether toward extinction with our corrupt and tribal even religion prejudices.

@spectroscopic
with a big smile on your face, you should have stopped him while he was talking trash about Nigerians, and said:" watch out now, i am Nigerian and you cant paint a whole nation because of the negative actions of a few."

brize:
Lol, Op if you can give me 6 ways we can achieve unity in this country....... 4 out of that 6 has already been tried and it didn't work for decades now..... NIGERIA IS NOT ONE & CAN NEVER BE ONE... Let the paedophil & child rapist Muhammed Buhari come and arrest me..

If we separate today, at the rate we have gone thus far, the only thing that will be different (reduced) might be inter-ethnic tensions, and that would be only in the SW and SE, because they are more homogenous than other zones. Online wars as experienced on Nairaland might not even abate. The North and SS will remain hotbeds of ethnic tensions. Boko Haram may not stop the killings in Northern country; Fulani will not stop killing minorities in the North.

Regarding corruption, all zones will still be faced with corruption and morality issues because we all have since deviated from the norm, and well advanced in the course we have taken, to make a quick turn-around.

I imagine then that the world will know Biafra for drug trafficking (similar to Colombia) and perhaps an Oduduwa country for another vice. We should be careful what we wish for ourselves.

And this won't stop those stewpeed tribalists to act abnormally. It's in them like Peak.

MRBrownJ:
@spectroscopic
with a big smile on your face, you should have stopped him while he was talking trash about Nigerians, and said:" watch out now, i am Nigerian and you cant paint a whole nation because of the negative actions of a few."

I thought of that option, but on a second thought, I realized that the boss is not ignorant about Nigeria's image. So I may end up having to defend myself against the boss, and the Ghanaian would have really accomplished his mission.

Spectroscopic: You sef no get balls. You should have told your boss you are Biafran, which you are by the way, and answered any questions that ensued. Why should you not want to spread the gospel of the Biafran nation? We citizens of this zoo called Nigeria really don't need your help defending our already soiled name. Next time answer your papa name.

spectroscopic:


If we separate today, at the rate we have gone thus far, the only thing that will be different (reduced) might be inter-ethnic tensions, and that would be only in the SW and SE, because they are more homogenous than other zones. Online wars as experienced on Nairaland might not even abate. The North and SS will remain hotbeds of ethnic tensions. Boko Haram may not stop the killings in Northern country; Fulani will not stop killing minorities in the North.

Regarding corruption, all zones will still be faced with corruption and morality issues because we all have since deviated from the norm, and well advanced in the course we have taken, to make a quick turn-around.

I imagine then that the world will know Biafra for drug trafficking (similar to Colombia) and perhaps an Oduduwa country for another vice. We should be careful what we wish for ourselves.

my dear i better wish for a drug trafficking country than a country that does not value human life.... Do you get that

spectroscopic:
Background:
American (overall Boss; title of office = President/CEO)
Nigerian (staff) (me)
Ghanaian (staff) (colleague of mine)

My Ghanaian colleague and I were chatting with our boss. My colleague and I are at the same level more or less, both extremely professional, with PhDs to boot.

Unfolding event:

The discussion happened during a dinner organized by our organization and the boss was going around meeting his staff and getting introduced to them; he is a new appointment. I was seated with the Ghanaian whom I considered a brother, and with whom, quite frankly, I have always gone along well. Besides, we are the only Africans in the organization.

The boss sat with us for quite some time chatting, compared to the time he took with others. I presume he did this because we were the only people ''different'' from the rest, and he would have been naturally curious to learn more about us. So he really chatted with us for a long time. In the course of the discussion, he had asked my colleague if he was Nigerian and he said ''No''. ''I am Ghanaian'' he went on to say, but Ghana and Nigeria are at the same wavelength''. The boss replied, ''but you guys see things more similarly in Ghana than Nigerians do, as far as I know''. At that point I got really edgy, thinking the boss wants to throw a bombshell at Nigeria, and I am Nigerian.

To my surprise, it was my African colleague who did. Hear him. ''Sure, Nigerians are much more corrupt than us, and they hate each other with so much passion''. He continued, ''they always want to rip you off your money, and they kill each other in real time'' (that is, in reality) and online as well''. I was thrown aback and felt extremely betrayed, but I could not, and would not, start an argument, with a new boss around who is eager to know his staff, but who apparently knows one or two things about Nigeria (where I happen to come from). You know what they say in America about the ''angry black man'', right?

''So where are you from?", he eventually asked me. In a split moment I was torn between saying Nigeria or Biafra (I am Igbo, BTW). Saying Biafra would have given me immediate ''immunity'' from the problems associated with the name, ''Nigeria''. But then the boss, elderly enough to know about the Nigerian civil war, would immediately have asked ''Biafra? Do you have a new country now'', and all that kind of stuff. Then the discussion would have become even more tortuous and perhaps messier. ''I am from Nigeria'', I said smiling. ''But I am American too'', I added (just for disclosure, I hold a US citizenship see thread https://www.nairaland.com/1974578/received-us-citizenship-today-im

He turned his head and looked at the Ghanaian. ''Did you know he is Nigerian? he asked. ''Yes I know, but he is a different Nigerian from the ones I described to you,'' replied the Ghanaian. I could see that the boss was surprised that someone could speak so negatively about the heritage of another right in their face without any respect or regard for their presence.

I did my best to conceal my consternation with the Ghanaian until the boss left. I then tongue-lashed him, after which I stormed out on him. Since then, he has been apologizing but I find it hard to forget the betrayal, even though I know that the mutual hate and killing accusations he had made about Nigerians are not far from the truth. Although I do not want to hate Ghana as a country because its citizen disparaged Nigeria the way he did, I feel I have to watch my interactions with this particular Ghanaian.

Lessons learned:

Nigerians should stop the morbid hatred they have been exhibiting, both offline and online, against each other. The world is reading and watching, and cyberspace has made everything accessible these days. Nairaland has been a ''good'' online resource for outsiders to learn how hateful we have been towards each other. If I were the Nigerian authorities, I would ban Nairaland at this point. The minders of this site have done a bad job promoting the unity of Nigeria.

As for me, I do not know if I have made any hateful and ethnically disparaging comments on Nairaland in the past. If I ever have, that would be the last such comment I would make here, and I ask to be forgiven.

If Nigerians must live together as citizens of one country, which I believe we should, then we should begin to actually live together. It is not for nothing that God (or is it the British ) brought us together, 250 ethnic groups. We should make this work.

Thanks for reading.

Nigeria is what your Ghanaian friend described. Ghana had never had a civil war as Nigeria did. In addition, the leadership in Nigeria has done nothing to ameliorate the issues that lead to the civil war which continue to set the stage for another war. Nigeria is growing increasingly apart and giving way to social decadence.

Timbuktuo:
Spectroscopic: You sef no get balls. You should have told your boss you are Biafran, which you are by the way, and answered any questions that ensued. Why should you not want to spread the gospel of the Biafran nation? We citizens of this zoo called Nigeria really don't need your help defending our already soiled name. Next time answer your papa name.

Because I really do not believe that Igbos will be better off with Biafra. If we were going to be, the state of our States (Abia, Anambra, Ebonyi, Enugu, Imo, etc) would have indicated so. What have our own Igbo leaders and followers done with Igboland? What is the evidence that they would do things differently in a Biafra country?

brize:
my dear i better wish for a drug trafficking [/b]country than a country that does not [b]value human life.... Do you get that

How about not wishing for any of those in bold? How about being wealthy, developed, yet relatively peaceful and crime free as Botswana (using an African country as an example)?

Duru1:


Nigeria is what your Ghanaian friend described. Ghana had never had a civil war as Nigeria did. In addition, the leadership in Nigeria has done nothing to ameliorate the issues that lead to the civil war which continue to set the stage for another war. Nigeria is growing increasingly apart and giving way to social decadence.

That in bold may be true. But even the civil war was avoidable, IMHO, had we not have hate for each other even from the start.

ghanaians will exhibit their ignorance any time any day without realizing that some times some things are better left unsaid. allow me to applaud your maturity @op I know for real the boss will hold you in high esteem unlike your sissy colleague.

spectroscopic:


If we separate today, at the rate we have gone thus far, the only thing that will be different (reduced) might be inter-ethnic tensions, and that would be only in the SW and SE, because they are more homogenous than other zones. Online wars as experienced on Nairaland might not even abate. The North and SS will remain hotbeds of ethnic tensions. Boko Haram may not stop the killings in Northern country; Fulani will not stop killing minorities in the North.

Regarding corruption, all zones will still be faced with corruption and morality issues because we all have since deviated from the norm, and well advanced in the course we have taken, to make a quick turn-around.

I imagine then that the world will know Biafra for drug trafficking (similar to Colombia) and perhaps an Oduduwa country for another vice. We should be careful what we wish for ourselves.

If anybody thinks Nigeria shall see any form of progress as its presently configured, I shall beg the fellow to see a physician. Nigeria is similar to Czechoslovakia where ethnic tensions led to any form of social decadence anybody could imagine. The Nigeria is even worse than Belgium where there Dutch-speaking Flanders in the north and French-speaking Wallonia in the south. Before Belgium overcome the ethnic menace with constitutional amendments, warning signs are posted to warn people entering each other enclave. In this case Belgium is better than Nigeria both in high intellect of human understanding and number of ethno-linguistic differences. The only solution to Nigerian case is total disintegration and I would not mind if the zoo is divided into 350 countries.

Hmmm. I really don't have much to say at this moment. All I can say is that Nigeria is a very big nation with different ethnic groups, so whatever is happening now was to be expected. And to the Ghanaian guy, if we are to list the top 15 corrupt presidents in Africa, I already know which position your president should be. The pot that calls kettle black. Nonsense!

Duru1:


If anybody thinks Nigeria shall see any form of progress as its presently configured, I shall beg the fellow to see a physician. Nigeria is similar to Czechoslovakia where ethnic tensions led to any form social decadence anybody could imagine. The Nigeria is even worse than Belgium where there Dutch-speaking Flanders in the north and French-speaking Wallonia in the south. Before Belgium overcome the ethnic menace with constitutional amendments, warning signs are posted to warn people entering each other enclave. In this case Belgium is better than Nigeria both in high intellect of human understanding and number of ethno-linguistic differences. The only solution to Nigerian case is total disintegration and I would not mind if the zoo is divided into 350 countries.

Duru, with the level of hate going on now, you had better wish to separate under circumstances that do not involve war (which would be almost impossible). With war (the only option I see), you as an Igbo man will not get a dime of your investment in other parts of Nigeria, not even in Rivers State. In this regard, other zones have been smarter than Igbos in not investing outside their ancestral homelands so heavily.

spectroscopic:


How about not wishing for any of those in bold? How about being wealthy, developed, yet relatively peaceful and crime free as Botswana (using an African country as an example)?

that will be the best i will wish for, but where can it happen? Don't tell me Nigeria

One of the greatest problem Nigeria is facing today which is greatly exploited by both military and democratic leaders is the division among the ethnic nationalities. A critical look at the problem of this country varies from corruption nepotism illiteracy and many more but these problems are not synonymous to only Nigeria. In fact nearly every country in the world is grappling with one problem or the other.

What make Nigeria problem unique is the varying need of the ethnic tribes. I happened to have travelled to the East North n live in the West. One problem which appear insignificant but is an essential determinant to a successful revolution which I believe is the only way forward is the divergent wants/needs of each tribe.

What the Hausa want is not what the Yoruba, Igbo Desire. What's needed in the SS in not what the NC SW or NE needs. Until there's unity of purpose among the masses from the North East South n West Enough to force a revolution the Politicians will continue to act oblivious to those want but would campaign on it during election to earn vote.

brize:
that will be the best i will wish for, but where can it happen? Don't tell me Nigeria

Yet, there is no clear evidence that any of the new countries will be without INTRA-ETHNIC (as opposed to inter-ethnic) tensions. Hey! Aguleri and Umuleri, Ife and Modakeke, are both Igbo and Yoruba, respectively. Yet they went to war against each other. Please tell me in which other country people of the same ethnic group fight and kill themselves.

ayokellany:
One of the greatest problem Nigeria is facing today which is greatly exploited by both military and democratic leaders is the division among the ethnic nationalities. A critical look at the problem of this country varies from corruption nepotism illiteracy and many more but these problems are not synonymous to only Nigeria. In fact nearly every country in the world is grappling with one problem or the other.

What make Nigeria problem unique is the varying need of the ethnic tribes. I happened to have travelled to the East North n live in the West. One problem which appear insignificant but is an essential determinant to a successful revolution which I believe is the only way forward is the divergent wants/needs of each tribe.

What the Hausa want is not what the Yoruba, Igbo. What's needed in the SS in not what the NC SW or NE needs. Until there's unity of purpose among the masses from the North East South n West Enough to force a revolution the Politicians will continue to act oblivious to those want but would campaign on it during election to earn vote.

So like I indicated, the followership is a big problem, right?

spectroscopic:


Because I really do not believe that Igbos will be better off with Biafra. If we were going to be, the state of our States (Abia, Anambra, Ebonyi, Enugu, Imo, etc) would have indicated so. What have our own Igbo leaders and followers done with Igboland? What is the evidence that they would do things differently in a Biafra country?

Then why would you think of identifying as Biafran? You can be igbo and Biafran, or igbo and Nigerian. You can't be both. And yeah, that has always been my stand to igbos clamouring for Biafra. Let's see glimpses of your greatness before we put any faith in your ability to be the next world superpower.

Timbuktuo:


Then why would you think of identifying as Biafran? You can be igbo and Biafran, or igbo and Nigerian. You can't be both. And yeah, that has always been my stand to igbos clamouring for Biafra. Let's see glimpses of your greatness before we put any faith in your ability to be the next world superpower.

I guess you have the liberty to analyze this after the fact. At the spur of the moment, I wished I did not have to say I was Nigerian after the country was butchered by the Ghanaian. Hey! if the boss is a generalist (and perhaps have not worked closely with a Nigerian before, to know that what matters is the individual, not the group), he could believe the Ghanaian that all Nigerians are bad. Next to being a Nigerian, the next name would be Biafra (after all, I will have no home in Africa than in Biafra if the agitators succeed in their mission) (also, you do not expect me to say I am from Ghana too, do you? ). Thank God I was bold enough to admit I am Nigerian.

spectroscopic:


Yet, there is no clear evidence that any of the new countries will be without INTRA-ETHNIC (as opposed to inter-ethnic) tensions. Hey! Aguleri and Umuleri, Ife and Modakeke, are both Igbo and Yoruba, respectively. Yet they went to war against each other. Please tell me in which other country people of the same ethnic group fight and kill themselves.

there is something you fail to understand, even a family of blood siblings they are fighting and quarreling but do you know what? After fighting and quarreling they sit down and reconcil an igbo adage says that *iwe nwanne anaghi elu na okpukpu* that means that the quarrels of siblings don't go to the extent of keeping malice forever.... I better live forever and fight sometimes with a person who have the same religion, similar culture and the same food and attire and maybe different language... Than to live with someone with strange religion, strange culture, strange foods, attire and language... We can never be one, we can only pretend to be, but definitely we can never relate in trust... #DIVIDEnigeria

spectroscopic:


So like I indicated, the followership is a big problem, right?

To an extent because of lack of unity/cohesion among the masses. The politicians understand this and are specifically exploiting it thereby making the need for a revolution essential.

Ever wondered why only Igbos went to war ?

Why only Yoruba went on the street 4 June 12 ?
Do you know as we speak fuel prices will always be higher in the North so when you protest increase in the south they see no reason to ?

Do northerners want Job health education etc

Do the southerners want quota sharia etc ?

How many state will stone their senator/ex governor without sentiment or ethnicity coming to play ?

Until these wants are bridged from the West North and East the masses can not win a revolution that would save this country.

brize:
there is something you fail to understand, even a family of blood siblings they are fighting and quarreling but do you know what? After fighting and quarreling they sit down and reconcil an igbo adage says that *iwe nwanne anaghi elu na okpukpu* that means that the quarrels of siblings don't go to the extent of keeping malice forever.... I better live forever and fight sometimes with a person who have the same religion, similar culture and the same food and attire and maybe different language... Than to live with someone with strange religion, strange culture, strange foods, attire and language... We can never be one, we can only pretend to be, but definitely we can never relate in trust... #DIVIDEnigeria

OK oh! I know one brother can fight another. But please kindly show me which other country people (communities, not individuals) that speak the same Language fight each other every now and then. There was a recent (in late 2000s) internecine war in Ebonyi State among the Ezzas and another Igbo-Ebonyi subgroup. These are not good signs, no?

ayokellany:


To an extent because of lack of unity/cohesion among the masses. The politicians understand this and are specifically exploiting it thereby making the need for a revolution essential.

Ever wondered why only Igbos went to war ?

Why only Yoruba went on the street 4 June 12 ?
Do you know as we speak fuel prices will always be higher in the North so when you protest increase in the south they see no reason to ?

Do northerners want Job health education etc

Do the southerners want quota sharia etc ?

How many state will stone their senator/ex governor without sentiment or ethnicity coming to play ?

Until these wants are bridged from the West North and East the masses can not win a revolution that would save this country.

The issues are indeed too multifold to touch. I wish Nigerians of different ethnicities, religion and ideologies were not grouped together in one country in the first place. But now that we are here, 50 years and counting, what do we do? Is separation the best option?

spectroscopic:


Yet, there is no clear evidence that any of the new countries will be without INTRA-ETHNIC (as opposed to inter-ethnic) tensions. Hey! Aguleri and Umuleri, Ife and Modakeke, are both Igbo and Yoruba, respectively. Yet they went to war against each other. Please tell me in which other country people of the same ethnic group fight and kill themselves.

Classic post. I keep citing examples like this. There's always going to be a reason to fight the neighbour, but we'd be wise to take advantage of the strengths of our unity and minimise our individual weaknesses as much as we can. Only then can e truly develop as a nation. And like the other poster said, our problem is the common man not joining his neighbour to hold the leaders to account. When we do this collectively, we will record progress.

There's a thread about Mark/Ekwerammadu being involved in a scandal and what most people are doing is defending these guys because they're from the same tribe; not that they're most likely innocent, just a tribal thing. And these are the same ones wailing for a new country? It's disgusting.

brize:
#DIVIDEnigeria

In a way diving Nigeria can be the fastest route to growth n development. I have often wonder if someone like Tinubu would be ruling Western Nigeria with all the wealth he amassed to himself with everyone knowing fully well there's no federal might to contend with. I just wonder.

brize:
there is something you fail to understand, even a family of blood siblings they are fighting and quarreling but do you know what? After fighting and quarreling they sit down and reconcil an igbo adage says that *iwe nwanne anaghi elu na okpukpu* that means that the quarrels of siblings don't go to the extent of keeping malice forever.... I better live forever and fight sometimes with a person who have the same religion, similar culture and the same food and attire and maybe different language... Than to live with someone with strange religion, strange culture, strange foods, attire and language... We can never be one, we can only pretend to be, but definitely we can never relate in trust... #DIVIDEnigeria

Yet you come to the southwest and live peacefully with the locals. Why not stay in your igboland, all of you. Let me tell you today, if I come across and igbo man with this mentality and a war or tribal witchhunt occurs in my area, I will personally take the liberty of shooting you in the face. You're disgusting.