am coming let me finish with this girl first. been long wey I don dey expect make she visit me for house. going for 3rd half. will be back

Fake list for fake people


Pttffff

You can be a Nigerian if you believe and scream .....Tokunbo cars are better than brand new cars (Tear rubber)!!!!

ebbymayox:
1.To be a Nigerian, first you must be religious.
And you must advertise your piety. Sleep in the church, pray against your enemies. Proclaim your religiosity from the rooftops. Mention God’s name in every conversation. In a land where there is so much madness, religion offers you the only opportunity to cling on to a measure of holiness. It is the only way to remind yourself that you are human after all, and that there is something that you still believe in. Commit all kind of sins from Monday to Saturday including fraud of all kind, bring part of it to the church on Sunday and give testimony how God has blessed you.
Police "Sir is your car covered with insurance?"
Driver "My car is covered with the blood of Jesus"



2. Constantly complain that Nigeria is the worst country on Earth.

But when October 1st comes, take complete pride in your origins and celebrate like crazy.Wear green and white to show your patriotism, attend independence party, then 2nd of October go back to your nagging.



3. Learn to love gala and Lacasera drink

As these may be the only menu when you get stuck in a traffic.


4.Learn to be joyous.
Every weekend, attend a party, wear the Aso ebi your friend Shove down your throat, and tell yourself that the biggest achievement that any man can be proud of is to remain alive. It doesn’t matter if you are trapped in squalor. If you are lucky to have some means, then you are truly lucky. That is why we are among the happiest people on earth.


5.Keep a mental note of enemies.


To be a Nigerian, you should have enemies and if you don't have one, you will need to create one for yourself, else who will you blame for your misfortunes or failure. Even the Enemy complains of his enemies.



6.Hang a religious symbol like a cross on your car’s rear-view mirror

Or better, get stickers; religious stickers and stick them on your windshield. It doesn’t matter that you are a completely reckless driver — they will protect and ensure that you reach home safely.



7.Look rich at all time even when you're broke

To be a Nigerian, you won’t climb up the social quo if you don’t “pack” yourself properly.You have to either wear it, drive it or live it, else no one will take you serious. You must be loud with your wealth and accomplishments. Even if you are poor, you must carry on with life with a certain swagger. Don’t ever forget that you are a Nigerian; your country is the sixth largest producer of crude oil in the world, the most populous black nation on earth, and the home of the happiest people in the universe.





8.You must wake up each day dreaming of one hundred other ways of making money.

9.After making the money, you should also learn how to flaun[/b]t it.
The wealth you've acquired need to be rubbed on the faces of those enemies.




10.In George Orwell’s book- Animal farm, all animals are equal but some are more equal, to be a Nigerian you should always have it in mind that, all men are equal by citizenship, but some are to be called Ogas.

[b]11.You must also adore titles to yourself.
It doesn't matter how ridiculous they might sound; titles like Chief, Hajia, Alhaji, Otunba, Dame, and other professional titles like Doctor , Engineer. They show how important you're and why people should regard you. These titles show the exercise of lust for respect, authority, and power to satisfy your unworthy egos and vanity, so you must add one to your name.

So you can now call yourself Alhaji Dr. (Chief)........



12.To be a Nigerian, you must be very cautious all the time, treat all with nothing less than suspicion.



13.You should not be able to speak your native language or if you can you should pretend not to be able to speak your native language, even while your battle with English Language remained evident, else people will think you're country-side’, ‘village-bred’, or ‘unexposed’.



14.To be a Nigerian, you must be an optimist. A pessimist is not a Nigerian.
This is the only way to survive is to always hope; hope there will be constant power supply, hope for change, hope that your boss at work will promote you as you can't remember the last time you got promoted, hope that one day boko haram will stop bombing, you have to always anticipate a brighter future else you will die of depression before old age. And this hope needs some rekindling, so for you to be a Nigerian you also need to be an ardent reader of motivational books.




15.To be a Nigerian, you don't have to be too time conscious, arrive late to any event, the event will most likely have not started when you finally arrive late.

16.Also, for you be a Nigerian, you also have to portray Ethnicity and tribal sentiment;Yorubas are these... Hausas are that, Igbos are those...etc


Finally, you're now a Nigerian, but learn how to scream “Do you know who I am?” when you find yourself in certain situations.

Of course, you're now a Nigerian but you still need to confirm if people truly know who you are.



Oya you can now start hurling your insults cause you all hate the truth.

Cc:Lalasticlala
Cc:Ishilove
Cc;Seun.

CULLED FROM :http://www.tlkdrum.com/how-to-become-a-nigerian-in-15-easy-steps/
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instead of telling me on how to become a child of god, you are telling on how to become an animal in Nigeria

Why will I keep enemy and why will even anybody want to keep an enemy

No wonder Nigeria have the most mental unstable people on this planet earth.

LIKE if you are proud to be a Nigerian!!!


SHARE if you are otherwise. (Bad Belle)

Captainswag225:
to be a nigerian u must love big yansh.

what did you smoke?

TonyeBarcanista:
The job of the National Orientation Agency is to implement programs that will orientate and change our mindset to reflect positive attitude. Unfortunately, the NOA has over the years been a waste of space and resources. I believe that Nigeria will rise if we get things right.

now your brain worked well.
Last Bullet:
its a pity NOA is just useless for now

firstEVA:
what did you smoke?

hahahaha,,, love weed.

Nigeria is in a horrible state because of our elders. It pains me to hear our elders say the youths are indiscipline and lacks integrity, when actually these are the vices the elders display everyday. The elder cannot be looting public funds and accuse the youth of being morally bankrupt. The youth copies what the elder does.

Orientating the youth is not in the re-introduction of History in our schools, because the elders who read and understand History use it to carryout and achieve dubious intentions. Putting CIVIC education in school curricula is not the solution because the elder who knows civic education does not obey the laws of the land.

In short, the best orientation for the youths is for the elders to lead by example.

that is why the idiot nnamdi kanu calls you guys monkeys and baboons. Are u trying to justify his idiocy by giving being Nigerian all these descriptions?

Captainswag225:
hahahaha,,, love weed.

majority of African men love fat ass, some still like flat ones sha

damton:
despite the fact that country is still wallowing in a state of despondency, Nigerians have a way of enjoying themselves and making laughter out of virtually every situation. So , in Nigeria it's never a dull moment. GOD BLESS NAIJA.

yes, that's what makes us unique

[quote author=ebbymayox post=38868427][b]
CULLED FROM :http://www.tlkdrum.com/how-to-become-a-nigerian-in-15-easy-steps/
Follow us:@TalkingDrumm on Twitter | Talking Drum on Facebook[/quote

Mojo Mayor... I see U

you must always insult other tribes...

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM ?? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This piece didn't make me laugh...

olumide81:
Tonye as much as i want to agree with you, you can only change the hard disk, ram and some there accessories of a computer u can't change the processor which is the heart of the computer, our orientation can only be blended in line with our culture and tradition, you can take aso ebi and owanbe from the yorubas and other salient attributes of other cultures.

Erm...u can change processor sha

firstEVA:
majority of African men love fat ass, some still like flat ones sha

well, majority carries the vote. Naija men over love yansh.

Captainswag225:
well, majority carries the vote. Naija men over love yansh.

what about you, what's your perfect size of yansh?

firstEVA:
what about you, what's your perfect size of yansh?

i like them ladies with flat booty.

That first point is so true. The worst crime you can commit in Nigeria is not being religious. Regardless of how morally upright you are, as long as you have no place of worship,you are the worst individual who ever existed. On the other hand, like the op rightly pointed out, if you like, commit all the atrocities on earth,as long as you have a steady place of worship,mention God in every sentence, then you are good to go.

Captainswag225:
i like them ladies with flat booty.

this type?

THE PROBLEM IS ABOUT BEING BLACK! WHAT CAN A BLACK MAN DO??

Nice write up Ebby Mayo Adebayo

Killy me die o.

firstEVA:
this type?

lmao, no comment.

olumide81:
Tonye as much as i want to agree with you, you can only change the hard disk, ram and some there accessories of a computer u can't change the processor which is the heart of the computer,

I don diE

To be a complete Nigerian you must be PDP'E -RAT or APC E-RAT

You no know who I be??

Richiy:
This piece didn't make me laugh...

Cos you have a very bad sense of Humour

Hehehe with the way u call my full name, you know me well I guess

ayinqus48:
Nice write up Ebby Mayo Adebayo

Also to be a Nigerian learn how to see wat is wrong with being a Nigerian......funny buh I feel most of those outlines are on people genrally.