eyenibibio: I have been using NL as a frequent source of news and entertainment and during my course of being here, I have noticed there are a group or set of people with predictable, repetitive characteristics and trends. Join me as I examine the top 25 people you'll find on NL this 2015 and see which one you can identify with.
1. TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY, DASH ME LIKES CREW: These group of people are the happy go lucky individuals who seize every opportunity to outsource for likes. It seems the likes make them happy or fulfilled every time it's rammed up in the numbers. Some even have their birthdays every month nowadays on NL, jas so that they can get likes. God is watching you.
2. CAME HERE TO CHECK NAMES CREW: I don't know what NL is turning to these days or what our Yoruba and Igbo brothers have turned NL to so much so that there is no news that has a negative content where they won't turn it into a tribal war. Same goes for positive news about innovations, 1st class degrees etc. This is becoming a big demon and we must do something about it. We just can't continue to live like this. First, this crew was jas for the fun of it, but it has turned to something else as they now have a national association. lol....God will help us.
3. PICTURE/THREAD DERAILERS: This ogas/madams at the top are well versed in the act of derailing the thread away from the topic it was meant to cover. They have so improved their skill that they can totally veer off other people from making meaningful contribution to the thread especially if it was in the romance section. As for the picture derailers, God is watching you and your memory card in HD.
4. FIRST TO COMMENT HUSTLERS: These group of handsome guys and ladies have dedicated their lives to be the first to comment on any thread on the hopes that it will get to front page eventually. Most go to Nepa office, plug their phone and hustle for FTC on any new thread. For the newcomers who want to be FTC, they will have to go against already established wall street giants like INTROVERT and Lady F who for some time seem to be AWOL. As Yungsix would say, 'God bless your hustle'.
5. SPACE BOOKERS: These great intelligent folks have recognized the immense benefit of creating a space for future modifying of comments cos at the moment, their brain is not picking. Usually, they will analyze comments of others and then edit their previous one letter or symbol comment to a more useful and sensible one. To all the space bookers in the house, your reward is in on the way.
6. 1000 POST BUT NEVER CREATED A TOPIC CREW: These great minds are trooping and increasing in numbers everyday as they can amazingly make over 1000 comments on threads here on NL but have vowed never to create a single thread or topic. I don't know if they don't want others to benefit from their wealth of experience. Please, if you're in this category, kindly change cos we need you here.
7. RIB CRACKING MONIKERS: These gentlemen especially cos I've noticed it's the male population on here that really specialises in this business. The business of creating monikers that are extremely funny and you will wonder how these folks can go to bed at night with all these. Example of such I've seen is 'USELESSGOAT', 'BUYGALA', 'HUNGERBAD', 'BADMEAT', 'FOWLYANSH' etc.
8. IMPERSONATORS: These folks are everywhere and they also decided to bring their trade to NL. I've noticed that most guys are in the habit of opening accounts and posing/posting like females, doing all sort of undo-able on here. Even the females too are not left out. I remember there was a time INTROVERT was accused of being a guy. I tell you till now I don't know if she is a guy or girl cos at a point she was also accused of being a machine. I leave your cases in Gods hand.
9. MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS/SAME USER CREW: These beautiful people will just start creating new accounts just to hide their identity not that their previous account was faulty or anything. Most do this when they want to ask a personal question and prolly their bae or boo is a NL user and they don't want to be seen or perceived in a particular way. Please, change your ways eh......and start keeping it real.
10. NEVER PUT THEIR REAL PIC ON THEIR DP BEFORE CREW: The koko is if you know that you belong to this crew or you're even affiliated, just kukumah go and put your real pic on there for once. We wana see your face ugly or beautiful.......we were all made in the image. And we're also tired of seeing those Tumblr pics you keep uploading. And for those who don't have any pic at all on your profile, please put up your pic, NL is as good as any big social network you might be using too.
11. FEMALE MONIKER CHECKERS: These guys were sent to earth and NL to be clicking on any moniker that has the symbol (f) in front of it in hopes of seeing one beautiful, lovely and gorgeous lady ready for romantic interactions. You see them struggling hard to set P and often end up being turned down. It's a social network bruh, so your doing your job......don't mind them, one day e go click!
12. CALL-TO-ACTION GROUP: These group of NL users have assumed the responsibility of calling the mods and supermods to action i.e moving the thread they deem is fit to front page. You normally see them with stuffs like 'Lala, do the needful' etc.
13. ONLY 1ST PAGE READERS: These grand patrons have vowed never to read past the first page of any thread on NL regardless of how informative or entertaining it might be. Please, always try and read other pages, something that could change your life could be found there.
14. CELEBRITY COPY CATS: These group of people will just wait for a thread that shows D'banj wearing some Louboutin shoes and then will post a picture of their shoe(s) and ask NL'ders to rate. Lol, pls garrarahia mehn.
15. IS THAT A SIGNATURE OR WAH?: These group of people have jas decided to misuse the signature feature on their profile. Sometimes, you find that a signature is even more than a comment in terms of word count. Please, go back to signature folks as the name implies.
16. THE LIST CREW: These group of folks can never open a thread w/o listing their points. You see something like '10 ways to do this', '20 things a guy must do....' blah blah blah. Ok, we have noticed you guys. Thumbs up!
17. PERPETUAL VISITORS: These ones have sworn by the oath never to sign up on NL. They will only come and read, laugh and enjoy themselves but will still continue as a visitor. When will you sign up, brah?
18. FRONT PAGE BOUND CREW: Oh yes, and there is not a single topic from these guys that will not hit front page, so always fcuks with them if you wanna hit FP. Few of em include Seun, Lalasticlala, Obinoscopy, Ishilove, Tosyne2much, TonyeBarcanista, Lagmoskuit etc.
19. SEUNIERS: These are the core fans of the creator of NL, Seun. The are always calling on him or blaming him for one thing or the other....or comparing him to someone etc. They won't just let him rest. Just like Biebers, they will blame Seun for any Tonto Dike thread that makes FP, even consoling him when Tonto got married. Last week, they also urged him to buy a house in banana island jas like Linda did. Lol, y'all where's ya chill?!!!
20. VASLINE CREW: This guys know themselves, they don't need much introduction. Their main aim on here is to find ladies, celebs with luscious body and then the rest..................is history!!!
21. MISSING-IN-ACTION CREW: These folks can rarely escape ban for more than 3 days. If after returning from a 2 or 3 weeks ban, they go right back to doing the things that will get them banned. Lol......receive sense o jare!
22. TOURIST: These set of people are a of a rare kind in the world and you only find them on NL. Their breed should be preserved to prevent extinction. How do you identify these people? On a thread, you will see them comment something like 'Here in France, we don't do that', 'We don't know about such a thing here in Maurituana'.
23. WAILERS: These thread would not have been complete if I didn't mention wailers. Although I'm oblivious as to why they chose to identify themselve in such an unpleasant way, I had to mention them cos they have a national association on here and sometimes you see something like 'proudly a wailer'. Oh Lord!!!
24. LOYALIST/ACTIVE USERS: I unreservedly fall under this category as I spend most of my internet time reading threads on NL. There are a thousand other users like me who engage actively on NL too through their threads, posts, etc. God bless y'all.
25. SPAMMERS: Oh!!! So, you thought I won't mention you abi?! My friend 'dakkada' and gerrarahia mehn. Why do you keep posting adverts etc unsolicited when Seun has provided a feature for that. Isnor fair o....... Menshealth212 and co, it's time y'all turn a new leaf, ok.......and GOD BLESS Y'ALL.
EYEN IBIBIO 2015. why will anybody even put his real picture on a website  |