10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has - Family

10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has - Family - Nairaland

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10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by cuvox(op): 5:35pm On Oct 26, 2015

Pikin wey think say im wise, never jam im real parents

I swear, somehow I wonder how they do it. well, parents no dey born Pikin wey no fit them.

1.Super Hearing

For when you mutter something under your breath after they are done scolding you. They be like; "Cuvox, what did you just say? " ...... You better not lie because if you do, number 2 is waiting for you.

2.Lie Detection

For when you want to be an idiot and lie straight to their face. This one goes hand in hand with a slap..

3.Super Smell

For when you come back home with the smell of alcohol on your breath and they can tell from their room. or when you just visited the top for snacks... I no do that one o.

4.Super Scream

For when they want to tell you to come downstairs and pass the remote that’s right beside them. Every kid's worst nightmare....

5.Telepathy

For when they want to warn you in public without opening their mouths. remember that time when that friend or uncle wants to offer you biscuits?

6.Super Bargaining

For when they want to buy N4000 belt for just N300. More reason why we don't go with mom to the market.

7.Seeing into the Future

For when they punish you in advance for that crime you haven’t even committed yet. This......... I still don't get how they do it.

8.Super Marksmanship

For when they throw their shoe at you without looking and still don’t miss. shoe, cups, plates just name it. I wonder why they stay at home when we need them for Olympics medals

9.Fire Resistance

For when your mother picks up a hot pot without showing any signs of pain.

10.Super Sarcasm

For when you ask a stupid question. “Where should I put it?”
“Put it on my head.”

So, did we miss any superpower? if yes, add yours

There's one sha. I don't know where to put it.. when you forget to greet them in the morning and they greet you first... this one can pain. it also goes hand in hand with your mom sweeping the floor when your friends are there with you because you don't want to sweep..

source : http://zikoko.com/list/10-superpowers-every-nigerian-parent-has/

CC lalasticlala

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by calddon(m): 5:46pm On Oct 26, 2015

11. Super SLAP

This type of slap resets your brain to family factory default when it has been AFRicanologically hacked by one chance guys and they send you to bring them money from your house. it is also known as talk true slap.

12. Super Sight
types of eye sight that sees you clearly and brightly when in wrong places but dosnt see you in proper places like the church.

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Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by OKUCHI11(m): 5:49pm On Oct 26, 2015

SUPER BEATING POWER : Nigerian mothers ...If they beat u ehhh ........ Even Super Man Go shout BLOOD OF JESUS .........

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by Nobody: 5:51pm On Oct 26, 2015

calddon:
11. Super SLAP

This type of slap resets your brain to family factory default when it has been AFRicanologically hacked by one chance guys and they send you to bring them money from your house. it is also known as talk true slap.

12. Super Sight
types of eye sight that sees you clearly and brightly when in wrong places but dosnt see you in proper places like the church.

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by jejemanito: 6:03pm On Oct 26, 2015

SUPER HIDING

If my mama hide anything like football, remote, Xbox etc If you like use google map you will never find it!

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Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by fckmn24seg(m): 6:15pm On Oct 26, 2015

Very good

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by Dyt(f): 6:19pm On Oct 26, 2015

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by jejemanito: 6:20pm On Oct 26, 2015

SUPER DETECTION (eidectic imaging)

Turn your room upside down, search and ransack everywhere just to look for brush/comb you no go see am

Ask mum and fiam! she will give you the exact location!

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Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by cuvox(op): 7:20pm On Oct 26, 2015

calddon:
11. Super SLAP

This type of slap resets your brain to family factory default when it has been AFRicanologically hacked by one chance guys and they send you to bring them money from your house. it is also known as talk true slap.

12. Super Sight
types of eye sight that sees you clearly and brightly when in wrong places but dosnt see you in proper places like the church.

that supersight though

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by cuvox(op): 7:21pm On Oct 26, 2015

jejemanito:
SUPER DETECTION (eidectic imaging)

Turn your room upside down, search and ransack everywhere just to look for brush/comb you no go see am

Ask mum and fiam! she will give you the exact location!

I tell you

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by JudgementHammer: 8:05pm On Oct 26, 2015*

11. Running to ur books from using sand to mould house when u hear dad's car horn

12. Abusing your father when u offend
U will commit small offence and mummy is like "see ur gbangba head like ur daddy head or like father like son"

1 Like

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by MsBliss(f): 9:18pm On Oct 26, 2015

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by spark4daz(f): 1:43pm On Oct 27, 2015

Lol

Re: 10 Super Powers Every Nigerian Parent Has by naijathings(m): 2:58pm On Oct 27, 2015*

NATURAL BAD FRIEND DETECTOR

All a real naija mama needs to draw a fat line between you and your so-called friend is one look and one question. that one question comes after one look in a situation where the "friend" is not there and it comes first in a situation where they hear about that friend from your careless stories or neighbourhood gist.

SUPER WASHING POWER

Growing up, I went to boarding school and we wore white shirts, white sweater, white this and that and the type of detergent those days was that OMO on which there is a picture of 2 girls (many years and years before Ariel and Klin). No washing machine but my dear mama will wash that white back to angelic standard white.

SUPER WASHING POWER ... AGAIN

Back then, my mama had the power to wash 500 clothes in one day even if all of dem na jeans and khaki she go shine all of them and still cook.
I wonder if such power still exist in our women. dem go leave you run if you no get washing machine for house.

SUPER HEAT RESISTANCE POWER
I remember those days when I was still a kiddy kid... if my mama wan baff me here e go be like say she wan remove feather for chicken body. And she will keep saying "the water is not hot, stop screaming" and you just have to beg her to make it quick. Now remember that this is just a regular bath. Now imagine what that hot water would be like when I come home with football injury. That water would be hot enough to peel the devil's face but she would still use her hand to dip in the towel and squeeze the hot towel and slap you if you shout. LMAO.

DNA TESTING SUPER POWER
I was a handful. and when i do my nasty evil stuff, my mama would run a quick mental DNA test and say "I am not sure you are my son oh. go and meet your mother outside cos no food for you this night" but she know say she must remain my food sha.

I LOVE YOU MA.

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