₦airaland Forum

MY uncle and I love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc. Any way, we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on to express what he felt were cause of it. He emphasized on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his player life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man, that is of course womanizer but like the average man, he was smart not to flaunt it, though as women, we always can tell. His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed, she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her belief of what she already knew. what could she do? yes, as any average wife, she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to. She never complained or cried to her family or friends but kept in all inside her. He respected her for this even though as he said, he was too addicted to women to stop, though he tried.

My uncle was called off for a conference which was to last for one week and as usual with out delay, he jetted off. A cousin of my aunt whom she had not seen for over two years then came to visit and but was staying in a hotel which was by all means high standard and very expensive. My aunt decided to visit her on a Saturday so as to stay longer and catch up on old times. My aunt as you suspected caught sight of her husband really romancing a woman in the pool area and as you know, the man was supposed to be in Port Harcourt and had presumably jetted off three days before. She calmly finished what took her to the hotel and went back home.


My aunt never showed her husband any difference and still treated him normal as usual but one day whilst he was in a very good mood and they were watching an interesting movie in their room, she calmly told him what she had seen THREE MONTHS EARLIER and asked him not to do it again as he had hurt her deeply.

That night, shame, shock, fear all kinds of thoughts but best of all respect clouded my uncle's thought. He did eventually stop but not immediately oooo. He said it was gradual but he eventually stopped.

MY aunt fell ill and died years later and my uncle was sooo heart broken. He is still single by the way.

WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control.
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men.
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesn't change men but pushes them away

grayht:
***spreads mat***

some federal mugus will tell me nonsense that this is a script.Rubbish.
hope you learnt one thing or two

God bless her soul.

bigtt76:
God bless her soul.

Amen .thank you

Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.

Awwwwwn

R.I.P. to your aunt

Lesson: you dont have to break bottles 'n' heads to stop a man from cheating.

PunkyVeer:
Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.

Ver very correct.

Same goes for females too

Harbioollah:
Ver very correct.

Same goes for females too

Of course.

dearestaramide:
MY uncle and i love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc.Any way we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on express what he felt were cause of it.He emphasised on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his playa life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man,that is of course womaniser but like the average man,he was smart not to flaunt it though as women,we always can tell.His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed,she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her her belief of what she already knew.what could she do ? yes as any average wife ,she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to.she never complained or cried to her family or friends but kept in all inside her.He respected her for this even though as he said,he was too addicted to women to stop though he tried.

My uncle was called off for a conference which was to last for one week and as usual with out delay, he jetted off.A cousin of my aunt whom she had not seen for over two years then came to visit and but was staying in a a hotel which was by all means high standard and very expensive.my aunt decided to visit her on a saturday so as to stay longer and catch up on old times.My aunt as you suspected caught sight of her husband really romancing a woman in the pool area and as you know, the man was supposed to be in portharcourt and had pressumably jetted off three days before.She calmly finished what took her to the hotel and went back home.


My aunt never showed her husband any difference and still treated him normal as usual but one day whilst he was in a very good mood and they were watching an interesting movie in thier room,she calmly told him what she had seen THREE MONTHS EARLIER and asked him not to do it again as he had hurt her deeply.

That night, shame,shock,fear all kinds of thoughts but best of all respect clouded my uncle's thought.He did eventually stop but not immediately oooo.He said it was gradual but he eventually stopped.

MY aunt fell ill and died years later and my uncle was sooo heart broken.He is still single by the way.

WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesnt change men put pushes them away

I find the title and your post really insulting to women. You used the words 'mature and learn'. Do you assume that we are stupid or what? I do not understand what you are trying to achieve?

Did you try asking your aunty if she had any toasters and admirers after marriage? Ask her what stopped her? She is going to tell that she did and it was respect for her husband and their marriage that stopped her. But her husband does not the same respect for her and their marriage yet you will come tomorrow and insult a woman who cheats on her husband. Some men think that it is their birthright to cheat and he does not need to have respect for women. He goes ahead to do so and the world expects the woman to maturely deal with him. Yet you won't stop calling us petty or gold-diggers or less intelligent beings, How can you expect a specie with all that characteristics to be wiser and more mature than you are?


Why should women be wiser and more matured than man? I thought you were supposed to be the leader and the smarter one . Don't you think that the lack of those qualities make it unfit to be in a relationship not to mention lead a family?

The happy ending your uncle told you about rarely happen. You need to be mature to be able to learn that it is just a case out of many.


Moral of my rant:
Don't dish what you can take.
Respect is reciprocal
Every action has its unforeseen consequences

These apply to males and females. Treat people, most especially your partner the way you want to be treated. If they don't mind you treating them like garbage then good for you.

PunkyVeer:
Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.

. You just saId my mind. Wallahi

dearestaramide:
MY uncle and i love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc.Any way we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on express what he felt were cause of it.He emphasised on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his playa life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man,that is of course womaniser but like the average man,he was smart not to flaunt it though as women,we always can tell.His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed,she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her her belief of what she already knew.what could she do ? yes as any average wife ,she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to.

what is d name of d movie? shey na comedy or tragedy

Morning Punky

PunkyVeer:
Of course.

daretodiffer:
I find the title and your post really insulting to women. You used the words 'mature and learn'. Do you assume that we are stupid or what? I do not understand what you are trying to achieve?

Did you try asking your aunty if she had any toasters and admirers after marriage? Ask her what stopped her? She is going to tell that she did and it was respect for her husband and their marriage that stopped her. But her husband does not the same respect for her and their marriage yet you will come tomorrow and insult a woman who cheats on her husband. Some men think that it is their birthright to cheat and he does not need to have respect for women. He goes ahead to do so and the world expects the woman to maturely deal with him. Yet you won't stop calling us petty or gold-diggers or less intelligent beings, How can you expect a specie with all that characteristics to be wiser and more mature than you are?


Why should women be wiser and more matured than man? I thought you were supposed to be the leader and the smarter one . Don't you think that the lack of those qualities make it unfit to be in a relationship not to mention lead a family?

The happy ending your uncle told you about rarely happen. You need to be mature to be able to learn that it is just a case out of many.


Moral of my rant:
Don't dish what you can take.
Respect is reciprocal
Every action has its unforeseen consequences

This applies to males and females. Treat your people, most especially your partner the way you want to be treated. If they don't mind you treating them like garbage then good for you.

clearly you are an angry frustrated woman .By your tone,you have or are experiencing your man cheating on you or not taking you seriously and best of all by your attitude or tone of the message you are passing, you are the cause,check your self

MY dear get the moral of the story and not what you chose to assume .For you to take your time to write such number of lines on a post that isnt yours.............................you are definitely in pains.

enuff said.i believe i have dignified your self pity of a self and will chose to ignore further comments fro you.

dearestaramide:
clearly you are an angry frustrated woman .By your tone,you have or are experiencing your man cheating on you or not taking you seriously and best of all by your attitude or tone of the message you are passing, you are the cause,check your self

MY dear get the moral of the story and not what you chose to assume .For you to take your time to write such number of lines on a post that isnt yours.............................you are definitely in pains.

enuff said.i believe i have dignified your self pity of a self and will chose to ignore further comments fro you.

Bwahahaha

You wish! I am not like your aunt that has a low self esteem.

Why don't you take this to your mother so that she maturely learn how to deal with your cheating father?

daretodiffer:
Bwahahaha

You wish! I am not like your aunt that has a lie self esteem.

;DThank you ,you just proved my assertion to the whole world.A lady who clearly insults a dead woman ?my dear..........................i pity the man that will have anything to do with you.

have a good life and remember is not too late to change

PunkyVeer:
Moral of the story: put up with a cheating man & you're going to die early/before him.

RIP to your aunt, btw.

you're so right

dearestaramide:
;DThank you ,you just proved my assertion to the whole world.A lady who clearly insults a dead woman ?my dear..........................i pity the man that will have anything to do with you.

have a good life and remember is not too late to change

What assertion? You are not very bright to make an assertion in the first place therefore I am going to pass.

I pity the woman that puts up with you. Too many dumbass thinking that they are smart because they are men.


You aren't smart darling. Don't ever forget that.

never put up with a cheating man or you'll die an untimely death.
ladies take note.

daretodiffer:
I pity the woman that puts up with you. Too many dumbass thinking that they are smart because they are men.


You aren't smart darling. Don't ever forget that.

spoken from someone who uses such language ? wow thats a compliment.

dearestaramide:
spoken from someone who uses such language ? wow thats a compliment.

Yeah right

From a man who can't present a lesson without making innuendos or making thorough analysis.....I am going to look the other way.

daretodiffer:
Yeah right

From a man who can't present a lesson without making innuendos or making thorough analysis.....I am going to look the other way.

THIS IS TO FORMALLY MODIFY AND APOLOGISE AS I DID EARLIER ON BUT ....................................... you understand ,right?

daretodiffer:
Bwahahaha

You wish! I am not like your aunt that has a lie self esteem.

Sorry to say but this is uncalled for. The aunt is late now and doesn't deserve such ridicule.
You can always make your point without going too extreme.




Same goes to the other guy.

OP permit me to say that's your uncle, some men wouldn't even blink about it, I mean they will say if she can hold her peace for 3 months, they see no reason why she can't hold her peace forever.

Your aunt was married to a man who reason and listens, otherwise, he wouldn't have stopped cheating.

Some cheating husbands see it as their god given right and talent to cheat on their wives, whether she is aware or not aware of it isn't their business.

I tell any girl who wants to get married to have it at the back of their mind that the man they're marrying may likely cheat on them, however, how they handle it goes a long way. The fear of God doesn't have anything to do with it, self control, yes.

CaroLyner:
never put up with a cheating man or you'll die an untimely death.
ladies take note.

Pardon me, how many women whose husband cheat on them have died an untimely death? Kindly state figures let's see because so far, all I see them do is complain and lament about it to their friends and on social media.

magni101:
Sorry to say but this is uncalled for. The aunt is late now and doesn't deserve such ridicule.
You can always make your point without going too extreme.




Same goes to the other guy.

Sorry to say this but you have no right to quote me. How am I to know that the aunty is late?

LoL....Guys that Cheats would always be smelly Heartless Dogs..[b][i]. How do they even cope??

I could tolerate Anything... I mean Anything... Buh [b]cHEATIng Is A No No for me...Like You just jumped into A Random girl n Unconsciously shoved your Crooked Diick into Her Ass? Nah! that's totally Unforgivable! To top it All...not just once..Numerous of times? Na only you fit do am?


Like they say..[i]"Once A cheater...Always a Cheater.." ""

Rip to Your Lovely Aunt tho... She really did seem Like A good woman... *One min of silence for the Emotionally dead*

daretodiffer:
Bwahahaha

You wish! I am not like your aunt that has a lie self esteem.

If his aunt had a 'lie self esteem', then you have no self esteem. Why take out your anger on an aunt that is dead and that was patient enough to sit out her husband's cheating issue. If you can't do that, its your cup of tea.

Yes, he may have added some unwanted assertions (like trying to make cheating manageable for ladies) but the lessons of patience and forgiveness still stands and for you to just ignore it and attack the OP and his aunt is just unfortunate.

Hope you calm down.

arabianights:
I have gone over the op\s write up several times and read in between the lines.how many women do you feel are living with cheating ,lying bastards?If every one was to walk out based on that then trust me,state of emergency on marriage would have been declared.

you and i both know that a very high percentage of marriages have a cheating partner much as the writter did not analyse,YOU MY FRIEND HAD NO RIGHT TO INSULT HIM.


you have gone ahead to prove to the whole world as the op stated, that you are ill mannered and frustrated and possibly depressed and of course very unhappy.JUST VIEW YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS<ABEG! for goodness sake ,if you wont repect your self then please respect we other readers.[/b]

Bwahahaa

On the first point, you are right but you failed to look a the issue itself. The issue is that men justify their cheating. For them it is okay, they know they are going to get a free pass. They know people like you would caution the woman to take it easy and if she left her house because of that, you will call her names. Why can't she tolerate things for the sake of the greater good that is marriage(she is too petty, isn't she). And the circle keeps rotating. You won't declare marriage a state of emergency when men cheat and fail to see the inherent wrong in what they do. They keep getting away with it and their wives keep hurting deep inside. But it doesn't matter, they can get hurt but they must not leave.

However if it were a woman, OMG, she must leave that marriage today. The man must walk out o. There wouldn't be any state of emergency because it is a guy and he is justified.

Isn't that a hypocrisy? I agree that there are times we have to look the other way in a marriage but when the world and you believe that it is your birthright to cheat and it is your wives' birthright to look the other way to avoid disrepute, then there is a big problem. If we can't join hands to castigate hypocrites, please don't be afraid of state of emergency nor should be afraid of women cheating in their married homes. Because once you think a woman should/must stay with a cheating partner, you no longer have an opinion because you are biased.

My own palava is that I want you to recognise that a woman can have affairs too. If she can't discipline herself not to, then the man has no excuse. Also, women should be given a choice either to stay or not to stay without fools who think they have an opinion calling her names.




I didn't insult him, he threw the first stone with his ‘mature and learn'.



When the so-called leader lack self-discipline, how is the follower/partner supposed to respect him



Every woman that has an opinion is frustrated, depressed and unhappy abi. Yes, I am all the above if that makes you feel good as a man

When next you try to tackle issues, use your objective mind. If you can't please do not quote me.

icedbeatz do you remember?....
no need to blow your self up over a man

rapmike:
If his aunt had a 'lie self esteem', then you have no self esteem. Why take out your anger on an aunt that is dead and that was patient enough to sit out her husband's cheating issue. If you can't do that, its your cup of tea.

Yes, he may have added some unwanted assertions (like trying to make cheating manageable for ladies) but the lessons of patience and forgiveness still stands and for you to just ignore it and attack the OP and his aunt is just unfortunate.

Hope you calm down.

I didn't know she was dead. Learn to look at the cause instead of misquoting somebody

He uses his aunt as a case study. If you are a student or better still a lawyer, you should know that you attacking/assassinating the evidence yo win the argument. In this case it was his aunt.

Don't quote me again please, if you are biased.

I like objective minds