Broken Queen - Poems For Review - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Entertainment › Literature › Poems For Review › Broken Queen (1476 Views)
| Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 11:34pm On Oct 24, 2015 |
Tears fall from my broken heart  . . .I never thought we would be apart. . When you held me and said forever. .but those were all lies Your tender touch,cute smile are things I'll miss about you As I lie awake tonight,wishing of things I can never change. Reminiscing on time we spent together. . They say love is blind,but I had only you in mind. . It hurts so deep. . It cuts like a knife,but wounds heal. .and I'll go on with my life  |
| Re: Broken Queen by joseph1832(m): 11:40pm On Oct 24, 2015 |
Learn to arrange your poems in stanzas. |
| Re: Broken Queen by daveP(m): 1:02am On Oct 25, 2015 |
Hmm. Lav, Follow back |
| Re: Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 10:08am On Oct 25, 2015 |
daveP:Done! |
| Re: Broken Queen by timpaker(m): 1:48pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Nice piece! I guess it was inspired from your life experience. Like Bro Joe said, Please try and organize the poem will, it is a bit scattered. I also observed you wrote in rhymes of a,a at the beginning (1st stanza) and then changed in line 3 - 5 but again continued with the rhyme on just one line each. Doing this might make the poem flow to readers. Generally, you did great. We'd like to see more of your work(s) here. Welcome to the Club!!! |
| Re: Broken Queen by joseph1832(m): 1:58pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
timpaker:Bro Joe? Dude when did I become bro Joe  LOL. |
| Re: Broken Queen by timpaker(m): 3:04pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
joseph1832:The day 1832 became difficult to recall |
| Re: Broken Queen by joseph1832(m): 3:14pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
timpaker:You just recalled it bruv, how hard was it? LOL. |
| Re: Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 6:12pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
timpaker:Wow 'correcting and complimenting without insults' dint know such exists on this forum. .Thanks so much ************** Yeah, life experience I find it easier writing a poem with things that happen around me Happy to join you guys here *takes a bow*  |
| Re: Broken Queen by danbrowndmf(m): 8:04pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Laveda:Wow! Nice one,you dnt need to tell me this is a true life story,i already know it is a true life story. Jus work on ur rhymes though,i like the story. Oya come and give daddy a kiss. When i write mine i'll tag u. |
| Re: Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 8:13pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
danbrowndmf:Yeah it is Alright, tag me when you do |
| Re: Broken Queen by danbrowndmf(m): 8:28pm On Oct 27, 2015 |
Laveda:yes mir. |
| Re: Broken Queen by timpaker(m): 2:48pm On Oct 28, 2015 |
Laveda:Hehehehehhe. You're welcome. That's how we roll here.... |
| Re: Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 2:54pm On Oct 28, 2015 |
timpaker: |
| Re: Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 5:31pm On Oct 31, 2015*. Modified: 8:56pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
. |
| Re: Broken Queen by ipledge10(m): 8:53pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
[quote author=Laveda post=39554167][/quote]copied |
| Re: Broken Queen by Nobody: 8:54pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
[quote author=Laveda post=39554167][/quote]let me mail u too  |
| Re: Broken Queen by Laveda(op): 8:58pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
| Re: Broken Queen by Nobody: 9:27pm On Oct 31, 2015 |
| Re: Broken Queen by OAFMods: 2:21pm On Jan 15, 2016 |
Laveda:Okay |
