₦airaland Forum

otiigba1:
Apology accepted! you are a matured woman i respect that. Are we still friends?

yeap...how is your day going

PuciPrince:
U r a yoluba geh. No argument.
Oro kanti kanti yii o le ma jade lenu omo ti kii se omo yoluba

mo ti so fun e tele pe mo le fi yooba ta e ni 5kobo...

Tallesty1:
So your point in essence is that we should not right about what breaks the other because it makes one strong?


Sha, I am yet to see where domestic violence, cheating and slavery make a family strong.

Slavery?

Who is making who slaves.

My post was on a general note and a family strong to you might be weak to another.

majekdom2:
Nothing more than FEMINISIM.......couples are meant to complement each other not seen as equals.

What is the difference between complementing each other and being equals.

I will appreciate a reply.

donbenedict:
Wen I get married, I will read this..



Tallesty1

don't get the lectures after you have written the final exams... Read before you fail the test.... It all amounts to ur scores. You can then study the past questions in ur mind to find correct solutions and get the correct answer to who your spouse is... Just a free advice anyways.

Kay17:
To be sincere, feminists admire and love men. They want to be like men, they love the masculine swagger, their independence, freedom and their lack of guilt, hence the "equality demand".

Equal to them, means look like men.

But men don't want to be women even for just one day. washing dishes for life, can be horrible.

Hmmmmm

Tallesty1:
It doesn't bother, I won't date a modern feminist because I don't pierce my body with many sorrows, remember I stated in my misconception thread that I don't want what will give me troubles in the future?. The goodnews is that a feminist won't like me too so it doesn't bother me.

I added it in my list because it is truly breaking marriages out there.

Thank you for turning the argument to a normal discussion, we would make more sense when we write to educate instead of to win.

I will be glad if you point out my mistakes because what I am going to write are my personal opinion, what I know, think and feel about feminism and y'know, I could be wrong.

Feminism, ie the first wave feminism unlike the modern day feminism fought for equal rights of women. It was purposeful and legitimate. They worked tirelessly for the rights of women. They wanted women to be seen not as man’s underlings, but as their equals in the eyes of the law.

That is the feminism we all will gladly support.

They stood for something that was right, they fought for voting rights, women's right to buy property and demanding that females not be treated like second class citizens.

But Today's Feminism? .

Is all about victim mentality. They are daily promoting victim mentality, and blaming everyone else for their own problems. They want to do anything they wish but do not want to held responsible for their actions.

I remember a thread where I tried to raise an issue about educating girls on "anti-rape-defense". My dear come see bashing.

They said I was promoting rape and rape guilt in victims. I parked well.

Men do get raped but feminism blame them for it. They taunt and mock them and that's why it is difficult for men to report rape issues.

Modern day feminism is no longer about equality... It's about supremacy. Women used to fight for freedom and equality, but now they're looking for every possible means to unsurp power from men and trample on them. It is not wrong to assume that devil has taken over the movement.

The first movement fought for equal right but today's movement are on revenge mission.

It is full double standards. When a woman hits a man she is independent, yet when a man hits a woman he is a heartless bastard.

I think feminism has gradually turned to a hate group. It's not about equality anymore, now it's about gaining more benefits for women than that of men.

Feminism has become so complicated and messy that your feminism is not always my feminism. It has turned to a rude and nasty movement that is more interested in trashing people's views and opinions.

If the movement really accepts equality, then you and the girl that I quoted would not tell me that my views are wrong, you would accept it and let me be.

Most feminist I have chatted with on here are full of contradictions that do not align with feminist doctrine. Majority of them are just confused

Do you know why it seems like I abhor modern day feminism? It is because feminism has gone from creating more options for women to stereotyping what a women should be and do.

While a woman in the Middle East was stoned to death because her family objected to her marriage, some confused feminists of the free world were busy demanding that they be allowed to post pictures of their nipples on Instagram.

While bokoharam is forcing women into forced marriage and slavery, and sending them on suicide missions, feminists were busy demanding to be allowed to patrol the streets unclad.

There was a hashtag that trended on twitter sometime ago. #KillAllMen. It was a protest to stop men from spreading their legs in public buses and benches.

Feminist say they are not men hating group but that want to kill all men because a handful of them spread their legs on public benches.

Feminism movement have been altered and abused beyond repair.

I understand your pain points however, there has been adulteration of all concepts.

Apologies for the bad experiences you might have had.

raayah:
American feminism is radical. They have gone over-board and I don't even call myself a feminist anymore in North america because I cannot associate myself with such evil.
However Nigeria feminism is a whole different ball game

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PuciPrince:
For the sake of feminism, my ex expects us to do the dishes together when we get married.

Like seriously?

Anything wrong with that?

PuciPrince:
Good, those are basics. But where do we draw the line between to know when these basics become luxurious. I know of women who want to attend ceremonies and would buy aso-ebi of 50k like 3times in 2months and require their husbands to provide this. Will this be termed basics?

As for feeding, why will anyone marry a man who cant provide her food.

Shelter, you want to live in lekki while your husband can only afford houses in iyana ipaja.

On a monthly basis, if he agrees to give you 30k to take care of your basic needs (shelter and feeding exclusive - he provides that) and sets up a little business for you, is that enough so you can take your full responsibilities as a wife and mother?





BTW, who is a flirt

You are missing a very serious point....

What if the wife wants to build a career in a certain field?

Tallesty1:
Your spiritual husband

misspicy:
yeap...how is your day going

great! Thanks! How is yours?

bukatyne:
What is the difference between complementing each other and being equals.

I will appreciate a reply.

to be seen as being in the relationship to improve/add to the other party's qualities...... not seen as having the same right/ opportunities or in a competition with the other party.

Tallesty1:
You don carry cocoacandy enter here?


Happy Sunday cocobaby

Happy Sunday to you too.

bukatyne:
You are missing a very serious point....

What if the wife wants to build a career in a certain field?

Which is more important?

bukatyne:
Anything wrong with that?

Everything is wrong with it. Everything

otiigba1:
great! Thanks! How is yours?

great
happy holy sunday

majekdom2:
to be seen as being in the relationship to improve/add to the other party's qualities...... not seen as having the same right/ opportunities or in a competition with the other party.

Thanks.

Let's leave the competition part out of it....

What is wrong with having the same rights/opportunities?

PuciPrince:
Everything is wrong with it. Everything

Ok

Tallesty1:
Which research have you seen that involved world vetted information from credible sources?

It is not necessary. If 2 out of hundred are complaining here then it is safe to conclude that 2 out a hundred are complaining somewhere. That's how such researches are carried out.

I will like to see where I said that all their marriages are in shambles, their future broken and their eternity will be spent in hell before I will reply you.If Tallesty says or when I say that Tallesty said?

Moana

abeg leave me alone! Let me enjoy my holy day in peace

@MarieSucre,

I like your spirit

Are you related to Sucre of Prison Break?

bukatyne:
Thanks.

Let's leave the competition part out of it....

What is wrong with having the same rights/opportunities?

there are some opportunities that ought to be left for the man alone just for peace to be ..... I know this may bring some arguments and different opinions. This is necessary for peace to reign. There is no such thing as equal rights..... No two beings are born equal.... "fact". we are born different, unique in our own ways but uniqueness differs. That is why there is always just one winner. I hope you can relate this to the context of my post.

bukatyne:
I understand your pain points however, there has been adulteration of all concepts.

Apologies for the bad experiences you might have had.

.


This what I have been trying to let them understand, since some people in the movement are off the line of duty then its obvious that it is affecting families somewhere.

Bia diokpa Otiigba1 and Nwa ada Misspicy, next time I catch two of unah forming Romeo and Julie on my thread eeh!


And You too @PuciPrince. Go get office where you go dey dey attend to your clients.

Tallesty1:
Bia diokpa Otiigba1 and Nwa ada Misspicy, next time I catch two of unah forming Romeo and Julie on my thread eeh!


And You too @PuciPrince. Go get office where you go dey dey attend to your clients.

Tallesty1 hope say no be wetin i dey think ooo.

I no want make dem two blow up nairaland na em i dey try settle small rift.

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Tallesty1:
I think the guy is scared that she might get angry one day while blowing him and bite of his Johnson.


She's got strong teeth y'know

lol. I feel that he called it quits because he fears the girl might embarrass him publicly again like that in the future.

inspiring. Tnx 4 sharing this info with us.

raayah:
I think we have confused American feminism with Nigerian (much needed) feminism.

I cannot believe that people are blaming feminist for rape occurrences. Maybe we should blame all Muslims for 9/11 attacks or all Christains should be blamed for Holocaust or All Africans as scammers but I digress.

With a snap of finger, your husband can decide to push you dependant woman and kids outt. You are entitled to zilch in this country.. No alimony no child support. All these men on nairaland will be the same to tell you why are you depending on your husband. Try being a widow in Nigeria.
I remember a story a young woman put on nairaland, she was in a dilemma, she earned 100k + health benefits for family monthly, husband earned 40k. She had run out of time for maternity leave. Her husband would never quit his job and if she quit her job, she would not afford rent or health insurance if said baby became sick. She hadn't found a nanny and she was in despair. The sensible thing would have been for her husband to quit his job , but NOT IN NIGERIA, you know men and their egos. We just consoled her in family section and gave little bits of advice. This is why most women in Nigeria have to work! Why are there married women with kids hawking pure water, why didn't they just sit in their husband's house? An insult to career women is an insult to all women who are suffering and saving to raise their kids.

How many of you have ever heard of men fighting for their marriage? None! Its only women fighting because they know that they are nothing without a man. How can you as an adult exist for someone else?

What about reproductive rights? Women have zilch in Nigeria.Where can you get condoms, contraceptives pills or cheap birth control for women? Child support nko? If a man impregnates a woman, he can leave and never return. Society will forever shame her for having sex. Forgetting about the men. Sexual harassment nko? Try studying in a Nigerian university as a female, you can be there for extra years just because you refuse to suck a man's dicck?

What about rape? A young 12 year old was continuously raped by a 70-something grandpa the other day. Nairaland said the girl was at fault because she collected money from the man. Some even said she seduced him. LOL.!!Even women were supporting.

What of domestic violence against women . One thread,a young courageous man stood in front of his abusive father who was hitting his mom and nairaland consensus was that the son should have done nothing because perhaps the woman Was NAGGING.
Now imagine if it was reversed, a woman slapped the man. She will definitely regret her actions.

What about infidelity and infertility. Try being infertile in Nigeria, you will be laced with insults and called all kinds of names. A woman is told day in and out that she has to stick with her cheating husband but God forbid she cheats. Are we going to talk about women that have been discarded because they don't have male children? Even though Science has proven time after time that men are the determinants of a baby's sex.

What about responsibility: An average 12 year old girl in Nigeria is cooking, fetching water. sweeping and washing everyone's clothes by hand giving her little time to study because you better train her for a man instead. The average 12 year old boy is washing cars at most. these man-banies then grow up and demand that women spoon-feed them daily because they have been trained that way. Your average married man cannot cook a pot of soup.


Can we stop people from being evil? NO!! But feminism seeks to educate people especially women that we have choices, we are not objects and we need to be treated fairly by men and the society

I understand your sentiments and I can relate to it. However, I don't agree that the nan has to resign his job. Rather, he should be more supportive and if he cannot be supportive, then he should fast track getting her a maid.

There is always a better solution to every situation.