My mother-in-law has always interfered in my relationship with her son. Ever since I gave birth to our son three years ago, she’s become much worse. She criticizes all my choices and says the clothes I buy for my son are cheap and second-hand.
She’s mad that we didn’t call the boy the name she gave him saying the one we call him doesn’t reflect the family background.
Most times, she just walks into our house without informing us and hangs around for as long as she likes. Whenever I mention her attitude to my husband, he just shrugs his shoulders and says his mum means no harm. But I’m getting close to being really nasty to her.
Stella

Source:http://www.abagram.com/2015/12/i-feel-like-telling-my-mother-in-law-to.html

abagram:
My mother-in-law has always interfered in my relationship with her son. Ever since I gave birth to our son three years ago, she’s become much worse. She criticizes all my choices and says the clothes I buy for my son are cheap and second-hand.
She’s mad that we didn’t call the boy the name she gave him saying the one we call him doesn’t reflect the family background.
Most times, she just walks into our house without informing us and hangs around for as long as she likes. Whenever I mention her attitude to my husband, he just shrugs his shoulders and says his mum means no harm. But I’m getting close to being really nasty to her.
Stella

Source:http://www.abagram.com/2015/12/i-feel-like-telling-my-mother-in-law-to.html

MONSTER-IN-LAW....... WELL BEAR IT OR BRING YOUR MOTHER INTO THE MATTER AND LET MOTHERS FIGHT AND THERE WILL BE PEACE

Invite your mother to mean no harm

Tell her and get it over with biko. But just be ready to loose your hubby too.

I guess ur husband is still a mummy's boy, tell ur mother and father about it, am sure your husband will take the issue serious when ur parents talk to him about it but on a serious note, u ain't a slave and u married her son not her so one of these days, just let yourself go and tell her what's on ur mind

Please, kill her Well, your husband is taking her side, which means you can't win the war. Retreat!

Mine z my sil...she z almost 32yrs,very lazy,and she does not WORK..infact all her life,she never WORK to earn a livin.what she does z to be parabulatin from her bother's house to the other.she wil eat,and leav the plates for yu to pack n wash,wen she comes around,if ayam chargin my phone,she wil remov it n plug her(s)witout mindin,welda you hav bars or not.meanwhile she z wit her charger o.she wil just spread her big yansh like python on the cushion/bed all day long witout doin anything.the painful part z her formin thus:i dont eat fish o,my mama no cawi fish train us o,but her broda,my husband and her mum eats fish.when i gav birth tu my zino,after 4days,she came around again,like a prisoner that excaped from alcatras prison with a very big bag,spread her yansh,and ordered me to go buy chicken,and prepare oilly rice for her,i was like...haaaa mogbe o,ota mi ti de,ada mi da, kin eleyin,me wey neva strong just 4days after puttin to bed.i went to get the chicken from the market,n almst died insid the bus,meanwhile she just spread for cushion dey watch telemundo o,i came back n prepare the rice,n my lil girl was cryin,no strenght to breastfeed her again,mehn i was gased out.my mil was so annoyed n she scolded me for going to the market,that i shud neva try such again.and she warned her daughter to stop stressin me.last two weeks,she came again wit that her big bag,she nor even fit greet me,she jus came into the sittin room,dropped her bag and settle on her favourite settee...she went straight to where i plugged my phone and fiaaaam,she removed it,and on the verge of pluggin hers,i said Kai Joy,leave my charger there,cos my fone z down..she Hissed and mumbled one kai yeye word n took her own charger

Dnt tell her to get lost o so wen spiritual problems start.. U wont associate it to her
END time mother inlaws

To be continued...lemmi go feed my lil zino.op wen i come back,i ll giv you tips on how to overcome her..positive tips fah.ma ba3 z also down

I find that dealing with inlaws-generally speaking requires an extra level/coat of patience and tolerance. Many of them really can be tough and trying! One of the techniques i've adopted over the years is to learn to overlook many issues and imagine that if my own relations did the same things would i mind?

We must bear in mind that we cannot all have the same orientation and level of exposure in life. @Ahnie's sister in law shouldn't have expected or imagined that a new mum would be going to market to buy her chicken or whatever else for eg. Let's assume because she hasn't any kids of her own she doesn't know better!

@OP i feel you should wear an extra coat of patience with your MIL. No point quarreling with her, you're stuck till she crosses over eternally. Look for ways to make her surprise visits a bit more bearable. Just try,don't complain to your hubby. Vent to your father in heaven!

Pele i know it can be tricky but just try!

God be with you *hugs*

Feel it, but don't say it.

ahnie:
To be continued...lemmi go feed my lil zino.op wen i come back,i ll giv you tips on her to overcome her..positive tips fah.ma ba3 z also down

She don remove ur phone from charger again?
Some inlaws can be a bone in the throat, u just need wisdom to handle them.

Lucialovely:
Invite your mother to mean no harm

You have better sense.

Dear OP Invite your own mother over. I believe both of them can fight it out. At the end of it, you and your hubby will now strike a balance. Some so-called husbands are so annoying when it gets to handling matters like this.
Your happiness is threatened in your own home? Abeg!

abagram:
My mother-in-law has always interfered in my relationship with her son. Ever since I gave birth to our son three years ago, she’s become much worse. She criticizes all my choices and says the clothes I buy for my son are cheap and second-hand.
She’s mad that we didn’t call the boy the name she gave him saying the one we call him doesn’t reflect the family background.
Most times, she just walks into our house without informing us and hangs around for as long as she likes. Whenever I mention her attitude to my husband, he just shrugs his shoulders and says his mum means no harm. But I’m getting close to being really nasty to her.
Stella

Source:http://www.abagram.com/2015/12/i-feel-like-telling-my-mother-in-law-to.html

if it where your mother what should your husband do ?

abagram:

She’s mad that we didn’t call the boy the name she gave him saying the one we call him doesn’t reflect the family background.

what kind of name did you give him though?

No,she waka go her sister husband's house,daz where she stays.she z a leech on her elder sister who z a teacher.

Zuriela:


She don remove ur phone from charger again?
Some inlaws can be a bone in the throat, u just need wisdom to handle them.

ahnie:
Mine z my sil...she z almost 32yrs,very lazy,and she does not WORK..infact all her life,she never WORK to earn a livin.what she does z to be parabulatin from her bother's house to the other.she wil eat,and leav the plates for yu to pack,wen she comes around,if ayam chargin my phone,she wil remov it n plug her(s)witout mindin,welda you hav bars or not.meanwhile she z wit her charger o.she wil just spread her big yansh like python on the cushion/bed all day long witout doin anything.the painful part z her formin thus:i dont eat fish o,my mama no cawi fish train us o,but her broda,my husband and her mum eats fish.when i gav her tu my zino,after 4days,she came around again,like a prisoner that excaped from alcatras prison with a very big bag,spread her yansh,and ordered me to go buy chicken,and prepare oilly rice for her,i was like...haaaa mogbe o,kin eleyin,me wey neva strong just 4days after puttin to bed.i went to get the chicken from the market,n almst died insid the bus,meanwhile she just spread for cushion dey watch telemundo o,i came back n prepare the rice,n my lil girl was cryin,mehn i was gased out.my mil was so annoyed n she scolded me for going to the market,and she warned her daughter.last two weeks,she came again wit that her big bag,she nor even fit green me,she jus came into the sittin room,dropped her bag and settle on her favourite settee...she went straight to where i plugged her batterylez phone and fiaaaam,she removed it,and on the verge of pluggin hers,i said Kai joy,leave my charger there,she Hissed and mumbled one kai yeye word n took her own charger

You are so hurt and bitter because you are doing eye service. Pretending to do "our wife" then hating her guts. Why can't you honestly draw boundaries? Why would you go to the market four days post partum?

Wives need to be real and stop pretending. You will be doing "Yes sister, Yes Anty" to them why won't they make stupid demands?

Hopefully your daughter in law would do to you exactly what you do to your MIL right now

Wen her brother came back,he asked if i hav given his sister food.i said...Joy nor dey chop ogbonor soup LOUDly to her hearin,meanwhile that z how it haz bn all this years.because she told me so,and each time she visits,and i happen to cook ogbonor soup,she wont eat.so my husband ordered me like a colonel to bring the ogbonor soup,and i promply followed his orders like a newly employed recruit,that Joy must eat it,he told his sister that this is HIS(mr ahlex)house,that if she z choosy,she should go and Marry and choose the type of food,she wants to eat...or better still,whenever she pays us a viSiT,she shud come with her own mEAl.meanwhile that was the last meal for that nyt...i guess she ate it,bcus i went into the room to watch telemundo.the next morning,madam joy didnt even bother to stand up,so that i can clean n mop the room,she just lie down with her big bumbum,i cleaned the part i could,and bath my lil bae n left the house.pls note that...mr ahlex left the house very early the next morning.i came back..madam was stil lyin down,as at abt 12noon.she commanded me to go to the fridge and defrost soup that she wants to eat,i nor kukuma dey like eat food sef...i told her that,she z not a visitor,that she should do it herself,pls note that,she has 100percent right to go to my pot...yes that z how i am.wen i came back..our Joyous nyarinya instead went to the food store,and decided to cook spaghetti,rice and BEANs....i just threw away my face.she consumed everything,and the annoyin part was,she didnt wash the DISHES.is Annie surprise...Mba,iffah hear sai ah surprise!!!lest i forget,when she went to the restroom,and after she shower,she hung her pant(patari)ontop washin MACHINE...i sharperly told her to remove the ministry from the washin machine,before her pant go design the machine with RUST.person designed her Neck with the type of TONTO dike taTTOO,but she nor get money or work.she wants us...the wives to her brothers to be afraid of her(two lecturers,two teachers,and one complete house wife based in onitsha.she left the followin morninn being Sunday,without even havin the courtesy of biddin annie n miss zino bye,and i hurriedly mutter HALLELUYA.am 26..she z 32.the man that wants to marry her z pussyfootin(draggin his feets)to come and do the neccessary rites.bcus she z allergic to Workin to earn a living....she has B.sc in beepin(flashin)she can flash for africa.

Bia Aunty/ogbeni,i dont pretend.i neva will.that z how God made me.ayam a free minded person to the core.so please kindly package your BILE iron it and throw it away. Whatsup with your anGER?shioor see me see trouble.

Eketem:


You are so hurt and bitter because you are doing eye service. Pretending to do "our wife" then hating her guts. Why can't you honestly draw boundaries? Why would you go to the market four days post partum?

Wives need to be real and stop pretending. You will be doing "Yes sister, Yes Anty" to them why won't they make stupid demands?

So op,you just have to put on an extra coat of PATIENCE.nuttin you wil say/complain to the son abt your mil,that he wil reason it your own way,i know it hurts...but just try to IGNORE.my Mil nor get wahala,she be like me,the bil too they nor get wahala,its only the two ladies.

Lemmi feed your fantasy....when i complained to mr Ahlex on phone,he told me point blank...ANNIE this z your house,take charge of it.no body has the right to come and harrass you in your own house.i hav told you to stop being Free with sensitive issues.tell her what you want her to do...if she does not do it...then tell her to TAKE a LONG walk.

Eketem:


You are so hurt and bitter because you are doing eye service. Pretending to do "our wife" then hating her guts. Why can't you honestly draw boundaries? Why would you go to the market four days post partum?

Wives need to be real and stop pretending. You will be doing "Yes sister, Yes Anty" to them why won't they make stupid demands?

ahnie:
Lemmi feed your fantasy....when i complained to mr Ahlex on phone,he told me point blank...ANNIE this z your house,take charge of it.no body has the right to come and harrass you in your own house.i hav told you to stop being Free with sensitive issues.tell her what you want her to do...if she does not do it...then tell her to TAKE a LONG walk.

I am with your husband on this, don't give people room to mistreat you. Be clear with them on what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate

That was why...when she came,and removed my charger from my phone,i told her Boldly that...excuse me miss Joy,pls leave the charger so that my phone can charge,meanwhile she came with her charger o,and places dey to charge fone inside the socket.she was Shocked.she never xpected it.we the wives are currently holdin crucial meeting to Bar her from comin to our houses.

Eketem:


I am with your husband on this, don't give people room to mistreat you. Be clear with them on what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate

the Op,gats to Put on extra coat of patience/overlook her mil for peace to reign...or in the alternative,invite her own mumsie over to hav a heart to heart talk with the husband's mum.

ahnie:
That was why...when she came,and removed my charger from my phone,i told her Boldly that...excuse me miss Joy,pls leave the charger so that my phone can charge,meanwhile she came with her charger o,and places dey to charge fone inside the socket.she was Shocked.she never xpected it.we the wives are currently holdin crucial meeting to Bar her from comin to our houses.the Op,gats to Put on extra coat of patience/overlook her mil for peace to reign...or in the alternative,invite her own mumsie over to hav a heart to heart talk with the husband's mum.

Find a husband for her

Get me a PLACARD n a Red marker.

pickabeau1:

Find a husband for her

tenk yuh

ahnie:
Mine z my sil...she z almost 32yrs,very lazy,and she does not WORK..infact all her life,she never WORK to earn a livin.what she does z to be parabulatin from her bother's house to the other.she wil eat,and leav the plates for yu to pack,wen she comes around,if ayam chargin my phone,she wil remov it n plug her(s)witout mindin,welda you hav bars or not.meanwhile she z wit her charger o.she wil just spread her big yansh like python on the cushion/bed all day long witout doin anything.the painful part z her formin thus:i dont eat fish o,my mama no cawi fish train us o,but her broda,my husband and her mum eats fish.when i gav her tu my zino,after 4days,she came around again,like a prisoner that excaped from alcatras prison with a very big bag,spread her yansh,and ordered me to go buy chicken,and prepare oilly rice for her,i was like...haaaa mogbe o,kin eleyin,me wey neva strong just 4days after puttin to bed.i went to get the chicken from the market,n almst died insid the bus,meanwhile she just spread for cushion dey watch telemundo o,i came back n prepare the rice,n my lil girl was cryin,mehn i was gased out.my mil was so annoyed n she scolded me for going to the market,and she warned her daughter.last two weeks,she came again wit that her big bag,she nor even fit green me,she jus came into the sittin room,dropped her bag and settle on her favourite settee...she went straight to where i plugged her batterylez phone and fiaaaam,she removed it,and on the verge of pluggin hers,i said Kai joy,leave my charger there,she Hissed and mumbled one kai yeye word n took her own charger

Hmmm and you took all of this? Wow you try thank God the mum isn't in support of such attitude
May God Almighty continue to strengthen you

raumdeuter:
Hopefully your daughter in law would do to you exactly what you do to your MIL right now

You always repeat this remark on all mother in law threads

Don't you ever have anything else in your brain to offer?

You act as if you know all families out there smh!

ahnie:
So op,you just have to put on an extra coat of PATIENCE.nuttin you wil say/complain to the son abt your mil,that he wil reason it your own way,i know it hurts...but just try to IGNORE.my Mil nor get wahala,she be like me,the bil too they nor get wahala,its only the two ladies.

That your sister in law is a handful, does she not have a house

@ahnie, I talk am say u be comedian.

Husbands have a lot to do when it comes to in law issues. .

I haven't experienced any in law isshh since I got married because my husband is so disciplined. .. You can't come to our house and behave as you like...

ahnie:
Mine z my sil...she z almost 32yrs,very lazy,and she does not WORK..infact all her life,she never WORK to earn a livin.what she does z to be parabulatin from her bother's house to the other.she wil eat,and leav the plates for yu to pack n wash,wen she comes around,if ayam chargin my phone,she wil remov it n plug her(s)witout mindin,welda you hav bars or not.meanwhile she z wit her charger o.she wil just spread her big yansh like python on the cushion/bed all day long witout doin anything.the painful part z her formin thus:i dont eat fish o,my mama no cawi fish train us o,but her broda,my husband and her mum eats fish.when i gav her tu my zino,after 4days,she came around again,like a prisoner that excaped from alcatras prison with a very big bag,spread her yansh,and ordered me to go buy chicken,and prepare oilly rice for her,i was like...haaaa mogbe o,kin eleyin,me wey neva strong just 4days after puttin to bed.i went to get the chicken from the market,n almst died insid the bus,meanwhile she just spread for cushion dey watch telemundo o,i came back n prepare the rice,n my lil girl was cryin,no strenght to breastfeed her again,mehn i was gased out.my mil was so annoyed n she scolded me for going to the market,and she warned her daughter.last two weeks,she came again wit that her big bag,she nor even fit greet me,she jus came into the sittin room,dropped her bag and settle on her favourite settee...she went straight to where i plugged my phone and fiaaaam,she removed it,and on the verge of pluggin hers,i said Kai joy,leave my charger there,cos my fone z down..she Hissed and mumbled one kai yeye word n took her own charger

Dear, please stop indulging ur sil. do not allow any one to ride you. more so, why will you go to market 4 days after delivery. chai, you would have told her you are not strong, infact form weakness if your dh will get angry with you. it wont be good if dh joins his sister o.

op, be patient but draw the line where need be. if your dh is mummy's boy, you need to be diplomatic,- be so nice when he is around and treat her f*** up when he is absent" she will get the message.

i just thank God dh and i are on same page when it comes to all forms of visitors (his family and mine inclusive)