Sandra! Sandra! Sandra!....... I kept hearing her voice continuously in pain and tears until she touched me, that was when I realized that I had slept far longer than I had expected. I woke up in fear as I could tell from her shaky hands what had just happened. I got up from the bed and tried holding her but she wouldn’t let me. She just kept saying “this isn’t happening again! God why me? Why me? This can’t be happening? This is my blood! Sandra this is my blood!” All I could do was stand there, looking at her face (very red) and her swollen eyes which were also very red. I kept thinking “if I started crying with her wont this get worse than it already is?”. I could feel her pains, I could feel the frustration in her voice, I could tell the sadness written all over her.
Aunty Jennifer has been in marriage for over fifteen years. A few weeks from now, she will be celebrating her 17th year marriage anniversary without the “joy of marriage” I mean without a child. Funnily, she has lost count of the number of miscarriages she had had. The last time Aunty Jennifer had a miscarriage, her husband did not bother sharing in her pain, same thing with the last and the one before that. Too bad this time isn’t going to be different. Who would blame him anyways? Despite the many pressures from family and friends, he’d been a wonderful husband all these years. But there is indeed a limit to the things one man can bear to handle. Uncle Tony has gotten to the point where I think if a miracle doesn’t happen fast, he may as well do the unthinkable.
Watching my aunty jennifer in such devastated mood, my heart reaches out to her. This woman who used to be a bubbling, pretty and cheerful lady has suddenly turned to one who is always clouded by deep thoughts, uncheerfulness and moody state. She has over the past few years become a shadow of herself. Considering all she has gone and still going through in the hands of her in-laws, friends and neighbours she has never ever lost faith even though she breaks down and weep all night long, her faith remains unmoved. I am sure that someday, her faith will pay off.


The case of Aunty Jennifer is just one of the many instances of infertility among women. Some of these women with fertility problems are lucky to have caring husbands and in-laws that stand by them through thick and thin. Truth be told, such women are simply lucky. Such is the case of Mrs. Ngozi who has been married for the past 21years without a child. Mr. Chuks her husband has been there by her side never letting her stay moody or think over the issue. Mr. Chuks has ensured to get her mind off her childless state. He got her a teaching job, opened a big supermarket for her and went as far as adopting three lovely kids, two pretty girls and a cute boy, all in a bid to make his wife happy. Talk about being lucky, right?
Still, there are unlucky infertile women (so to say) who have never conceived since they were born, or should I say, “since they got married?” whatever you want to call it, the issue is, “they have never conceived all their married life.” This brings my mind to Aunty Theresa. Aunty Theresa was in a hell called marriage. After waiting for 4years without getting pregnant, her husband started sleeping out and the days he will come home, she is so set for massive beatings. Her mother-in-law kept visiting her with trouble, quarrel and fight tied around her waist. Her neighbours threw bombshells of words after her every move. Too bad, Aunty Theresa died a childless woman with over seven step children born out of wedlock. Her husband is currently married to one of the mothers of her step children.
In a country like Nigeria, cases of infertility are not slightly treated. This is due to the fact that Nigerians treat infertility as either a spiritual problem, the fault of the woman (maybe as a result of abortion), hereditary or the couples are not destined to be together. These are just a few of the many causes of infertility according to a lay man in the streets. Many a times, the woman gets all the blames for the problem of infertility; she may be called names likes “prostitute, ‘ogbanje’, witch, etc just to mention but a few.
In reality, we fail to see it from the other side of the coin. This is true to several instances where the man is the problem. We also fail to look at the scientific aspect of infertility. Even some highly educated Nigerians are caught in the web of superstitious believes when faced with the problem of fertility. Well, should we really blame them? If you ask me, I would say NO! You know, most times we simply judge people because we are not the ones wearing the shoes they have on. And that’s life for you. The big question then is “what is infertility?”
Infertility refers to an inability to conceive after having regular unprotected sex. It can also refer to the biological inability of an individual to contribute to conception, or to a female who cannot carry a pregnancy to full term. In many countries, the diagnosis of infertility is usually given to couples who have been trying to conceive for at least 1 year without success.
Studies have shown that slightly over half of all the cases of infertility are result of female conditions, while the rest are caused by either sperm disorders or unidentified factors. In other to get a clearer understanding, it is pertinent to state some of the causes of infertility in both male and female.

CAUSES OF INFERTILITY IN MALE
Low sperm count or quality.
Problems with ejaculation.
Genetic problems.
Problems having an erection.
Problems with the tubes carrying sperm. Etc

CAUSES OF INFERTILITY IN WOMEN
Conditions affecting the uterus.
Damage to the fallopian tubes.
Ovulatory problems.
Age - Female fertility declines sharply after age 35
No identifiable reason - This is where the issue of spirituality comes into play.
However, “it should be noted that the causes of infertility in Nigeria is quite different from that of the Western world where they are mostly affected by ovulatory dysfunction which is very easy to treat because once you ovulate, you can take in. but in our environment, the major cause of infertility is tubal damage and it accounts for 60% of the causes and it is very difficult to treat infertility through tubal damages” says Dr Francis Alu, Chief Medical Director, Consultant Obstetricians/Gynecologist, Maitama Hospital.

TREATMENTS OF INFERTILITY
Basically, couples with fertility problem are advised to have sexual intercourse more often. This may increase their chances of conceiving although experts have warned that too-frequent sex can lower the quality and concentration of sperm. Apart from the above, other treatments are;
Extraction of sperm from the male bladder or testicles which is injected to a female egg in the laboratory.
Prescription of fertility drugs.
Surgery for both male and female such surgeries include epididymal blockage surgeries in males and fallopian tube and laparoscopic surgery in females.
Assisted conception including IVF (In Vitro Fertilization
) and IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination). These are currently available methods for assisted conception.
For several women out there having fertility problem in marriages, know that you are not alone in this. There are women like you who may be in worse situations than you. I am of the opinion that you keep your faith up, read books on fertility, visit your gynecologist regularly and do not forget to live like every normal human being. Remember that with or without a child, you deserve to be happy!

by Ohwo Lauretta.

Insightful.

Toluene15:

what

thatsincerechic:
what

I followed your previous topic. I was touched...

Toluene15:
I followed your previous topic. I was touched...

okay... Me too

Lemme book my space,.will read this later. Hope i won't be disappointed.