Please ignore the (f) on the moniker I'm marauding on my wife's account. Though this isn't my first sojourn to Cotonou, the tiny French colony but this trip I am about to narrate is for what it is a funny experience I'd had for a very long time. Telling this tale I got the inspiration from biggiyke thread and I was so enthralled by his communication skills I said to myself I've to add to the humor basket my experience. Ideally, I might not match his detailed analysis but I'll do within my knowledge to cover every parameters.

My first experience to Cotonou was 8 years ago when I wanted to buy my first car, the ever reigning and dependable 1999 Toyota camry car. I've gone in company of a car dealer from Port Harcourt and that was after I'd do my investigation on specifications and price. The agent has a funny nickname (Nkpo Nkpo), so we headed to Lagos connecting to otta in Ogun State before reaching the boarder town of Owoedu *. We'd pass the night at a hotel in Owoedu after I turned down the offer of an olosho to warm the night by my agent but then I know that Greek gifts comes with thorns, either way the cost must be added to our transactions. I came to understand that most of the car dealers, flyers live reckless lifestyles and the town is what it is, a moving town connecting two countries.

Next day, we took our bath and my agent inform me that the journey into our transaction is about to begin. From then onwards I became his sucker, we'd withdrawal from one of the banks littered along the road, trek upward further, pass through a makeshift toll gate effortlessly and just then he announced that we're in Benin Republic. What?! I exclaimed. Looking around the sizable number of people milling around, taxi drivers shouting Cotonou, some sprinkle of Nigeria custom men giving the I don't care demeanor, I heave a sign of both relief and exasperation because the sack of money:a few thousand above million I was carrying was the toughest job I've ever undertook in a while. The Benin Republic town though I'd forgotten it's name was living in squalor despite the fact that many bureau the change business abound which is mostly family businesses. We approach my agent's regular customer, did the transaction of currency exchange, stroll into the taxi Park nearby and began our journey to Cotonou. As we journeyed on, I was everything afraid, anxiety filled my abdomen, confusion, thought of being robbed and lynched envelope me as we moved into Cotonou, leaving behind us the rustic boarder town of Benin Republic and it's Nigeria neighbor.

This is just but an intro to the real deal. Sit tight, grab your pop corn and have a good laugh.

Will be right back.....

SPACE BOOKED

Where is my guguru?










Aha!!www.nairaland.com/attachments/3103856_0c4_jpegaa26308831db92b57c36887f5f34be1a

talk am well o

Ok... Following

space booked and paid for in full

no use me play oh..... , I have had enough suspense from Bigiyks thread, yesterday to last me another year on NL

clinching here

Chief better come and complete the story. Today na Sunday, nothing to do.

Nice one!

Which kind suspense be this self.

I stood still hearing a thunderous knock on my door.

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! This time the intensity has reverberated the room like when Satan is knocking at the hotel room of 2 adulterers informing them that one of their real partner is on the way to the room to halt their fun.

Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!

The thunderous explode this time was enough to kick back to life a dead man. Then I know it must be my 2 months old girlfriend startling the neighborhood. I sluggishly stood abandoning my phones on the bed stead and went into the living room just in time before my door came crashing down.
"who's there? "I bellowed pretending not to know it was her and she responded in her melody tone," open for me, it's me T***. Women for all I know could fake everything including voice and manner of speech and I'd fall for this one. I held the door knob, twitch the keys and let her in

"what have you been up to? She asked as she pushed her way through the door to the bedroom but my silence must've deafen her raging spirit. I quickly secured the lock before noticing the food pack she clutches. Women!!! They're all interesting beings I murmured. Once they come into a man's life and noticed he's comfortable and with no competition, they'd become more caring to the point one questions self if mom had done a better job worth her efforts.

Anyway, being a bachelor back then wasn't easy, if you think it is, ask around. Most nights means going to bed without food but this night it ain't happening in my case. Sometimes I'd nurse this wicked idea of going to a pharmacy shop, buy worm expeller and murder all the worms in the stomach before the diminish my reserve. That way a night without food will have the reserve refilling the stomach. That's by the way anyway!

"sweetheart, you're on your phones again, I thought we'd agree that after 8pm all phones must be shut down? "she retorts. Not giving heed to her ranting I move with swift and the demeanor of a conqueror towards her and planted a long kiss before responding :" Baby, I am engrossed with a serious investigation and evaluation only, trust me this time this one will fascinate you to no end " loosing my grips on her, I took a dive into the bed before she could return her resistance. Women are really predictable like the rainy season and they hardly give up when phone, an inanimate object is taking the shine.

" keep deceiving yourself and social networks. " she said drawing a mischievous grin. I made a gesture of get lost, cursing inside for the temporary lost of concentration and get quickly got busy again forgetting she'd come with a night meal. I had picked up my blackberry and continued the chat with Sammutin... A Nairaland Cotonou car dealer / middleman based in Badagry of Nigeria.

5 years had past I owned the 1999 camry so I was due for an upgrade! Even the witches and wizards in my village knows I was due for an upgrade. In fact they have been on my case denying me the luxury ride of my dreams the Lexus rx330 but in a few days time they'll be defeated just as I know how to deal with them. When I bought the camry I'd highlight earlier concerning my first sojourn to Cotonou, honestly it was a smooth buy, worthy and of good driving experience.

Prior to chatting with Sammutin, I've contacted numerous Cotonou car dealers on nairaland and the prices I got from them for 2005 Lexus RX330 was a couple of thousands above 2.5 million and then 2 dealers was ready to deal below 2.2million naira. So I decided to settle for Sammutin because he has the longest thread and his thread views was impressive, with that it means consistency and a good evaluation I'd reason so this night I was on with him straightening the rough ends, promoting trust and rules of engagement.

The guy had even gone ahead to sending routine of pictures of my desired vehicle, promise of further down favorable bargain, good exchange regime, easy and fast custom documentation and above all providing litany of integrity support documents. When I inquired about references or a surety that at least could support his efficiency he told me he was a music teacher in his local aladura assembly. I received couple of pictures in his aladura garb with the promise to introduce me to his prophet. I'd ask for the church name and he gave me. That's how I was busy knotting the tees and crossing the iss before the interruption.

I needed to plan properly because tomorrow....

.

Op seme-border I know, Owode ijako border I know, idiroko border I know, but I haven't heard about the the owoedu border town you mentioned on your first post. Nice story anyway. Explorers na u cari me come here, oya serve me some bottles of what you are drinking.

Lanceslot:
Op seme-border I know, Owode ijako border I know, idiroko border I know, but I haven't heard about the the owoedu border town you mentioned on your first post. Nice story anyway. Explorers na u cari me come here, oya serve me some bottles of what you are drinking.

I'm not a yoruba and I've lived all my life in the Niger Delta. Thanks for the observation, I think it's owode ijako

freshvine:


I'm not a yoruba and I've lived all my life in the Niger Delta. Thanks for the observation, I think it's owode ijako

Alright, Owode Ijako is next right turn after crossing the bridge before JTF checking points.

Lanceslot:
Alright, Owode Ijako is next right turn after crossing the bridge before JTF checking points.

Which one is owode Ijako ? Are you referring to Owode in Ogun state or Owode in Badagry Lagos state ?

mohemos:

Which one is owode Ijako ? Are you referring to Owode in Ogun state or Owode in Badagry Lagos state ?

The owode not to far from idiroko in ogun state is called Owode Yewa. Owode Ijako is under badagry LGA, Lagos.

That night I couldn't sleep as I keep ruminating about the prospect of owing the Lexus rx330. The challenges I'm going to have the following day and so forth. I've already contacted a vehicle registration agent and we agreed on APAPA name plate, the security feature guy was already on standby to do his wiring in Lagos and other miscellaneous expenses considered but not appropriated. I am was thinking and thinking hard! Above all I've budgeted 2.5million for this deal to cover all expenses and nothing more. Then my mind drifts into the negative... What if this sammutin guy double cross me? What if he way laid me and made away with my hard earned money? What ifs envelope my thought throughout the night just before I concluded on a foolproof. I've devise a means to beat this buddy if he appears not to be who he projects.

I woke the following day around 5.30am, took my bath and was ready to go. I hate long distance journey and I equally hate flying but today I'd be flying to enable me make purchase and also to put self on guard.

I came out to the major road, flag down a taxi and said:"airport ". He responded :" 2500" and I jumped in and he sped off. The young yoruba driver looks at me inquiring, "oga, no bag?" and I just wave my hand in disconnect. Looking at his face the driver feel glad and contented with the fact I didn't haggle the fare hence the need to interface. As we approach the airport, my heart ponder and wander into the obvious and oblivion.

We get to the airport and he stopped me across the way from the taxi part. I made a gesture of dissatisfaction and he pleaded with me to reason that if he goes into the park he'll pay in and exit fess to the airport management which will decrease his fare charge significantly. I jump down, pay him and headed to the airport lounge. Approaching the entrance to the lounge which was a makeshift idea cos of the remodeling ongoing, the place was a behest of some sort. Quickly I locate the aero contractors ticket point, made my way through before I got the shocker from the attendant, "sorry sir, our first flight to Lagos are fully booked. You've to come back in 15 minutes time when we resume booking for the 10:00am flight. I like flying aero because majority of their pilots are white and their fare cheaper. You know white don't make mistake but a black pilot can press the wrong button and the giant bird will come crashing so I do mischievously reason.

I move quickly to the Arik desk and the attendant clerk said, "first flight fully booked, second booking and it's 35,000." What? " I'd shouted and strolled away wondering why the hike when the lady at the aero desk had told me 25,000. I was confused and still pondering on how Arik will put their fares on the premium and yet their stands are very jam packed like sardines, is it about their new planes or customer service that's drawing people l asked repeatedly to self.

The fun continues...

Hmmm 2005 Rx 330.... We have something in common. Continue Bro.

Disappointed I kept strolling around the hall as there was no seat for passengers just few reserved for check in. Wandering aimlessly and confused at the same time, I swiftly move to a corner where some international magazines was on display to catch the headlines of news makers. Omo... I've to get busy with something but at that point I feels I needed to take something for breakfast but deep down I know I can't do it here because of the overkill on snacks and drinks.

Just then one gorgeous looking madam tap me and said, "I saw you at the aero stand, do you want to travel to Lagos?" I regarded the woman before muttering, "yes". I had wondered why the woman had tapped me of all the people in the world then again I soon realized I wasn't looking like someone traveling let alone using an aircraft. My attention went back to the magazines when suddenly a young guy who'd eavesdrop on the conversation with the woman asked, "oga, are you traveling to Lagos with aero?" I responded in the affirmative and he inquired if I was on booking, tired of his questions I gave a negative nod and he promise to provide me with a cheap fair. Aero fair was 25k and he was willing to do 22k and I was very glad after he'd assured me that it was a genuine ticket with my information on it. He brought out his phone, took my information and dash off and within minutes he was back with an e-ticket, after confirmation I made the corresponding payments. He gave me his card and thank me profusely before disappearing into the crowd.

"how much did he collect? " came a voice behind me. I turned and it was the same gorgeous woman looking dapper and appearing omnipresent." 22,000 " I responded and the sleaze in her composure sent a bewildering shocks to my spine," what, don't you have a phone? Aero fare is 12k and you could've done that yourself using their online platform. What's the essence of waiting if only I know I would've help you "she concluded and at that point I felt conned. Mystery agent must be smiling somewhere now.

I learnt that their online e-ticket is 12k while over the counter is 25k. I accepted my loss after all mugu fall Maga chop. The 50k I have in cash is depleting and my dream car worth reduced to 2.450m.
The flight to Lagos was smooth except one of the air host behaving as if the boyfriend has jilted her and she'd wish we all crash. Imagine wheeling the food truck to my seat side and ask me to take my order but before I could psychoanalise if it's free or imbedded in the ticket she wheeled off.... Such insolence!

Drama continues

freshvine:
Disappointed I kept strolling around the hall......... Such insolence!

Drama continues

Bros na moto you wan buy abi you be tourist?
Tell us about the moto with pictures na?
Good writing style.....I like!

Keep going

I know your moniker

Kontinu

Please excuse my typos and malapropism. I'll proof read and do necessary corrections when I'm done

showreals:
I know your moniker

Kontinu

I'll join APC if there's another moniker to my person

showreals:
I know your moniker

Kontinu

Yes. He is using Madam's Nairaland handle.

Good writing style, at par with Biggiyke.


Auto section becoming much more fun these days, not just "for sale, available, bump and all other dealer jargon" we read everyday.


Waiting patiently for the concluding parts!!!

Where time to drive moto when you dey write all dis stiry na

op Y nau...av been waiting since morning for u to come on here and complete the story...u no sleep for afternoon and u want to still deprive me of sleep...is this fair

The name of the village after the passage of the 1st gate and the 2nd gate is.




Called igorlhor

That's were you will see all the taxis and guys changing money all the pigots taxis wagon to cotonue.

cityhood:
The name of the village after the passage of the 1st gate and the 2nd gate is.




Called igorlhor

That's were you will see all the taxis and guys changing money all the pigots taxis wagon to cotonue.

That's true and it was on my first journey to Cotonou when I went to purchase the 1999 camry.

The journey took us past the country capital which was looking like ibadan in South West Nigeria. Cotonou has the aesthetic and paparazzi like Lagos.

And you will noticed that those few pple at that small town speaks yoruba bt not the main yoruba u will hearing here in nigeria! Cuz there yoruba it's a little bet difrnt frm Nigerian yoruba own!.
But it a good one for you! Since its 1st time then!

But you know one thinhg about going to cotonue
There is alwys 1st time in everything if it's cotonue runs! Cuz you tend to see new things everytime

Car story