₦airaland Forum

narrator
the movie opens in a james bond stand alone pre-credit kind of way ,our heroes TOM CRUISE(and everybody else) are on one of those vague cliched missions that involves three things "INFILTRATION","RUSSIANS" and tons of "MISSILES" yea cause that never gets old
simon pegg
Ok how did i get into this enormous field without any russian soldier spotting me?
jeremy renner
Why am i acting like i don't wanna be here when i probably authorized this mission and how did i jump from personal assistant to IMF director?
ving rhames
Wohoo! I'm in this movie even though i have no use....... Wait why am i fixing masts in malaysia? and why is everyone surprised to hear from me?
simon pegg
Wait a minute how are you in on this? Weren't you fired at the end of ghost protocol?
tom cruise
(Running like a maniac) oh just shut up and watch me stunt
simon pegg
Dude have you been running across this big-a*ss field?
ving rhames
In a business suit?
jeremy renner
Without being spotted by the russians?
tom cruise
didn't i say SHUT UP!
narrator
tom performs a dangerous stunt to get on the plane which would have been awesome if simon pegg couldn't REMOTELY CONTROL THE PLANE, next we see ralph fiennes alec baldwin at a hearing where he is demanding the disbandment of the 00 sectionIMF and at the sametime giving sh*t to judi denchjeremy renner for not being able to control his agent but we know he's gonna be the newM IMF director in the end see the pattern?
j.j abrams
Well in my defence skyfall did steal the NOC file plot from Mission impossible one so tit for tat baby
alec baldwin
So anyway IMF should be disbanded because 20 years ago tom stole a CIA NOC file
jeremy renner
Well first of all, he used that list to lure an IMF mole,an IMF agent killer and a weapons dealer after which he returned the file besides, it was an iconic scene that gave this franchise recognition
alec baldwin
But but tom attacked the kremlin in ghost protocol all he had to do was be there
jeremy renner
I think everyone got the memo that micheal nyqvist did it to frame tom not our fault
alec baldwin
Plus there is the fact that tom stole from the chinese military in M:I 3 and dougray scott f*cked up an australian pharmaceutical lab, crashed a commercial plane filled with people and almost infected the whole of australia with a deadly virus in M:I 2 but i'm not going to add those movies for REASONS UNKNOWN
jeremy renner
Wow 20 years and all you can come up with is 2 missions? Good luck getting your petition approved
old dudes at the table
IMF is disbanded
jeremy renner
aint this a b*tch
alec baldwin
Wohoo IMF has been disbanded, anyone practicing IMF shall be arrested and sentenced to death for IMF-ing now where is tom cruise who i suppose is the only field agent IMF has
audience
Ugh please don't tell me this will be another M:I movie where..........
alec baldwin
I shall hunt down tom cruise while he in-turn hunts down a villain to clear his name
nairalanders
and this crap is rated 93% on rotten tomatoes?

To be continued......

Hmm na wa for you o

Severee, video camera is not necessary

Csami:
Severee, video camera is not necessary

mtchew if i hear, abeg make them no put video camera for naija bank na, na thief i go use take turn billionaire

narrator
next tom walks into a record store which is actually an IMF secret number station, cause yea no one ever visits those stores anymore
tom cruise
Hello moneypenny
store clerk
Ok creepy i'm half your age just pick a record and take a booth
tom cruise
Jerk! Just so you know i landed katie holmes and nicole kidman i'm a total catch
narrator
tom heads unto a booth to listen to a recorded message
sean harris
Hey tom we are IMF(holds back laughter) and we have a mission for you(chuckles) so we heard you've been trying to stop S.P.E.C.T.R.Ethe syndicate(snickering) ok ok i can't keep a straight face for this(ROTFL)
tom cruise
dude are you totally psyching me? How old are you like 10?
sean harris
Oh yea we are totally selling M:I's movie rights to disney by the way since that's what all stale franchises do
tom cruise
What? You can't do that but M:I is my golden goose the laziest way to make a million
sean harris
Well it's not my fault i mean u've had like 2 good movies 1horrendous one and 2 mediocre-ly average ones i think it's time for a curtain call
tom cruise
No please i'll do anything
sean harris
Very well then your mission should you choose to accept it is to have this movie make a billion at the box office
tom cruise
*putting on game face* i accept
Now i shall compile all the best moments from way cooler movies throw some MI swag into it and hope no one takes notice that's certainly a good idea now first of all initiate gas chamber scene from girl with the dragon tatoo(does so boringly and oh sean totally murders moneypenny which totally hurts tom for 2 seconds cause it's that kind of movie)
narrator
next we see tom cruise with his shirt off but since it's a pg-rated movie, his pants stay on, rebecca ferguson walks in wearing a tight all leather suit with nothing underneath
tom cruise
And why are you here? What paramount staffs car did you wash on camera?
micheal bay
hey! That was one time
rebecca ferguson
I'm the bond girl"hunt girl" in this movie(kicks off shoes)
tom cruise
Oooo and here i was thinking i was gonna be tortured when this is a striptease , now start from the top and slowly
narrator
a gang of dudes dressed like S.P.E.C.T.R.E operatives walk in
tom cruise
Gulp! guess i spoke too soon
Jens Hultén
Good evening mr.cruise i'm the bone doctor( hmmm wonder why i have a p*rnstar-ish stage name in a pg-rated movie)Now before we begin our torture session i must[s] make sure your feet are tied down and new untrusted agents are killed or escorted outta the room[/s]come face to face you know just incase you wanna take a swing at me
tom cruise
Why sure good thing the floor is super slippery and y'all pass out like infants
rebecca ferguson
And i'm totally on tom's side and will risk my cover to save his a*ss
narrator
tom and rebecca kick the sh*t outta eveyone using the moves they picked up from WWE
rebecca ferguson
So Jens Hultén has conveniently passed out and everyone else is dead except me
tom cruise
They are dead? We killed them with our crappy WWE moves? Like we are totally flirting with each other over dead bodies?hmm anyway what happens to you?
rebecca ferguson
I'll stay back and tell them you got away
tom cruise
And they are totally going to buy that? Shouldn't you fake an injury or something
rebecca ferguson
Dude it's mission impossible not a martin scorsese movie i'll be fine
tom cruise
Ok....... ugh i'm doing that thing where i walk around with no shoes again, you know no one ever got that joke abrams
narrator
next we see IMF's disbanded members being given a polygraph test they were trained to beat
simon pegg
Oh i hate my job its too safe and stress free i prefer being kidnapped or shot at or kicked the sh*t out of by sexy female assassins oh curse you tom you did this to us?
alec baldwin
You think we actually buy that bullsh*t?
simon pegg
Em..........yea?
alec baldwin
Ok back to work
narrator
simon returns to his desk to find an invitation to a tosca scene straight outta quantum of solace
simon pegg
Oh an IMF agent gets expensive tickets to travel a billion miles away from america and that doesn't raise eyebrows at all?
alec baldwin
And i shall be sure not to shove a tracking beacon up your colon or have tons of CIA spooks stake the f*ck outta you
narrator
simon arrives in austria and immediately receives communication goggles from a guy who has nothing to do but WAIT ALL DAY especially when simon pegg didn't really say if he was coming or not
tom cruise
Hey simon i need you to help me track sean harris he's gonna be at a tosca event downtown
simon pegg
And how exactly did you figure that out? Couldn't you just track him to his home through his ticket purchase or perhaps report him to the CIA for murdering moneypenny?
tom cruise
OMG no wonder you don't get any lines i'm seriously considering killing you off in this movie
simon pegg
Alright fine what do you want from me?
tom cruise
Get out your notepad and track simon's face
simon pegg
lol no sh*t i actually have a computerized notepad
audience
Ugh!
narrator
next tom cruise spots a dude with "i am an assassin" written on his fore head and decides to alert securitystalk him so they can reharse the sniper scene from skyfall
rebecca ferguson
I'm also here in my outrageous dinner gown that no one will take note of because it's a mission impossible movie
assassin 2
And i'm here to make sure our screw up recruit rebecca does her job and i shall infiltrate the event by shooting everyone on sight and risk being spotted by simon or anyone who gives a sh*t
narrator
tom and the nameless blonde assassin ridiculously re-enact the shanghai shadow fight from skyfall
rebecca ferguson
And while y'all get your testosterone on with the fight Feast your eyes on the unecessary shot of my arched "bony" lap
audience
*puke their guts*
tom cruise
how does no one notice two dudes violently clubbering each other untop the stage
blonde assassin
And how come we are falling backwards and forward but no one is falling left or right?
tom cruise
good idea
blonde assassin
oops!(Dies)
tom cruise
Phew! Now that i've killed the assassin and spotted their target and figured out exactly when they plan to strike(don't ask) i shall now [s]alert security to move the austrian president[/s]shoot[s]the presidents bodyguard or the lights in the presidents box room[/s]the president in the f*cking arm let's just hope the bullet doesn't rip-off his arm the way a real bullet will(shoots the president in the arm)
simon pegg
Oh look! That security guard is actually a bad guy and he is gonna hurt tom i shallalert securitycharge at an armed man like a f*cking r*tard(does so)
rebecca ferguson
Oh this operation is going to sh*t, time to[s]fall on my escape plan and make my clean getaway[/s] panic like f*ck and fire shots at tom and then at simon and then at the assassin simon's wrestling at the full glare of everyone.........oh sh*t that isn't a good idea RUN!!!
tom cruise
Hey there lady mind if i kidnap you while we escape austrian secret service with a yawn?(Does so)
austrian secret service
Oh our president just got shot by a sniper let's[s]lock him up in a secured room within the building[/s]leave the operathrough a service tunnel no onw usesthrough the front door where regular people and other assassins pass too(get fragged in presidential suv)
Wow! How did that happen? How did we not see someone plant a bomb under the suv? Damn! paramount you're making austrian security look bad
sean harris
Mission accomplished
audience
Even though you just wasted two of your men and allowed a tom cruise who recognizes you go unharmed with your lose canon rebecca ferguson?
sean harris
F*ck you man......... Mission accomplished

To be continued.....

tom cruise
Ok lady we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way
rebecca ferguson
you mean by eye-humping me to sh*t cause that kinda looks like what you are doing
tom cruise
No am not(nose sprouts like pinnochio)
rebecca ferguson
Oh here's my stop i'll be getting down here please
simon pegg
why? You carry juju for mouth? You're the only link i have to S.P.E.C.T.R.Ethe syndicate and my getaway ticket from somehow having the austrian president's assassination ridiculously pinned on me
tom cruise
Simon look........ There's a zombie over there?
simon pegg
Where?
tom cruise
(Shoves rebecca outta the car in exchange for her lipstick)
simon pegg
Seriously? I would picked her panties instead
tom cruise
I had to make a judgement call(tries to sniff the lipstick and ends up exposing a flashdrive) and i totally knew this was a flash drive the whole time(nose sprouts like pinnochio)
simon pegg
It's really amazing how you can still afford things like this expensive yatcht and a trip to tangiers, hasn't IMF been disbanded and all, how are they not even tracking you with your extravagant spending..........
tom cruise
Next scene please
narrator
next a gang of dudes with "i am CIA" written on their foreheads raid a building in cuba which is supposed to have tom cruise in it but they find a phone there instead
tom cruise
B*tch what took you guys so long to get here i've been doing pull ups all day and my phone battery should have run down by now i'm getting crams man
CIA dudes
Wait a minute who are we tracking again?
alec baldwin
Er tom cruise
CIA dudes
Oh the same tom cruise we tracked all through the mission impossible series,minority report and knight and day? I'll just sit this one out he's just gonna come out innocent anyway (even after punching our faces in,killing us and making us run around like id*ots)
narrator
rebecca is dragged to sean harris for almost f*cking up the austrian job
sean harris
Er why is it anytime i send you on a mission with a bunch of dudes they all end up dead except for you and the mission fails?
rebecca ferguson
*shrugs*
sean harris
Anyway seeing how you have failed two missions i'm going to save you for a third and most important one this time you go alone, now if you excuse me i've a bodyguard to kill because killing gives me a raging b*ner(shoots his bodyguard for no reason)
other bodyguards
Hmmm shouldn't we have a bodyguard union to stop these indiscriminate killings in movies? No? Okay
narrator
tom and simon miraculously travel to morroco(despite a bounty put on their heads by the f*cking CIA) they walk into a luxury house that is totally los angeles by the way
rebecca ferguson
Ah you caught me at the right time when i'm not snoring/drooling, or doing some house chores or walking around with no makeup but rather taking a swim and looking sexy for no reason
simon pegg
So rebecca i totally
12 g C 1 mol C
3.14 g CO2 -------- --------- = 0.0714 mol C
44 g CO2 12 g C
2 g H 1 mol H
1.29 g H2O -------- --------- = 0.143 mol H
18 g H2O 1 g H
Thus, mole ratio of C : H is 0.0714 : 0.143 = 1 : 2.
to discover that you wanna steal a government ledger hidden in a high tech facility
tom cruise
show off! Hey rebecca simon doesn't trust you and thinks you totally have a d*ck ha c*ck block you're never gonna get in her panties now
simon pegg/rebecca ferguson
O_o okkkkkay
rebecca ferguson
Anyway the facility is highly advanced and sophisticated only certain recognized individuals can access it
simon pegg
What if i just throw on a mask?
rebecca ferguson
Nah that wouldn't work cause you would have to walk like the said person you're impersonating
audience
thank God the one mission impossible movie where they won't do the st*pid mask thing
rebecca ferguson
Hey why don't we blackmail an someone with access into stealing the ledger for us?
simon pegg
Or better still why don't you circulate sean's face to interpol and the CIA as the head of S.P.E.C.T.R.Ethe syndicate and call it a day?
tom cruise
I've a better idea, i shall perform a dangerous underwater stunt which puts me at the risk of drowning or being blown away by some industrial underwater fan or simon getting captured
simon pegg
How is that a good idea?
tom cruise
Cause we totally stole it from the movie Eagle eye
narrator
meanwhile, alec baldwin has a brilliant plan to capture tom cruise which is to invite ving rhames and jeremy renner to do it
ving rhames
I've an even smarter idea why don't we go over to tangiers and bring him back ourselves?
alec baldwin
Excellent idea i shall not stalk you while you do so
narrator
back at tangiers tom proceeds to steal the ledger
simon pegg
So tom all you have to do is switch the yellow card in the underwater server with the other yellow card in the underwater server
tom cruise
Okee dokey now time to infiltrate the underwater by plunging a billion feet into this kick-a*ss water fountain in the full glare of the factory workers here, did i also mention that i'll be dressed in spy attire?
workers
Hey isn't that tom cruise from mission impossible?(Flips through script) oops i mean my pockets are empty of f*cks to give lemme go buy some(walk away)

To be continued.....

Severee, me thinks you're losing it... the side-talk is getting too, well, verbose. Keep it simple, nice and simple. Else you end up worse than the movie.

But that first post and the attachment - NOICE!

kay9:
Severee, me thinks you're losing it... the side-talk is getting too, well, verbose. Keep it simple, nice and simple. Else you end up worse than the movie.

simon pegg
Meanwhile i shall be building a cliff hanger over here
audience
Like we give a f*ck about what happens to you
simon pegg
hey i could get caught! And handed to alec who will proceed to......oh you're right this sucks
Don't mind if i get......(F*cks off the rest of the scene)
narrator
tom is underwater when he mixes the cards because "i told you so" and he gets dragged by a circulating thing that doesn't have motion sensors on it then tom finally drowns........haha just kidding he only collapses into a casino royale scene you know? Sobond tom passes out from poisoningdrowning andvesperrebecca ferguson resuscitates him with a defibrillator
tom cruise
Oh thank you very much rebecca
rebecca ferguson
Whatever i'm just gonna get out of these wet clothes and do some unnecessary side b*ob flashing
tom cruise
O yea that's what i'm talking about i just hope simon doesn't come to ruin.........
simon pegg
Hey tom i've the file i've it. Watch me wave it around in the full glare of a S.P.E.C.T.R.E syndicate agent
tom cruise
*rolling eyes*
rebecca ferguson
Ha!(Stuns the f*ck outta simon but in a way that doesn't kill him?) i saved tom cruise in london so we could meet again and i'll lead him to steal the government ledger which i'll in-turn use to betray S.P.E.C.T.R.Ethe syndicate and take it to my MI6 handler go #GirlPower(scurries off)
tom cruise
B*tch please it's hollywood you're still gonna need me to save your a*ss
simon pegg
Plus i should probably mention to you that i have a backup copy but it will make us an action scene short so let's go reharse an M:I 2 bike chase
tom cruise
First i must act like an id*ot cause drowning makes you dumb(acts like a m*ron but manages to hot-wire a kick-a*ss BMW which just happens to be sitting in the streets of morroco)
narrator
meanwhile rebecca[s]cleverly duplicates the ledger and gives the syndicate baddies a copy and delivers another copy to MI6[/s]st*pidly tries to make a run for it but instead starts a three-way bike chase scene
audience
oh God i've got a headache

S.P.E.C.T.R.Esyndicate baddies
Perhaps we should call sean and inform him about rebecca our rogue agent going all rogue on us.......nah let's all just go DIE wohoo!
narrator
tom swats the baddies like flies and bumps into ving and jeremy because morroco is that small
tom cruise
Ha i'm no longer vertigo-ed i shall chase after rebecca and kill more baddies(does so) now rebecca it's you and me nothing will stop me from......oh sh*tvesper rebecca's standing on the road got to swerve to avoid hitting her thereby crashing my aston martinbike yep that has definitely not been done before(crashes and walks away without a scratch)
narrator
next rebecca heads over to london to meet with her MI6 handler in an open park where everyone can spot them
Simon McBurney
Oh good work(deletes file to cover his a*ss) now go get more information on spectre sorry i mean the syndicate
rebecca ferguson
I'm not sure if you noticed but i kinda sorta betrayed their sorry a*sses back in tangiers i don't think i will be allowed back intoS.P.E.C.T.R.E the syndicate
Simon McBurney
Well tough t*tty i'm the only one who knows that you're an MI6 undercover agent everyone else thinks you're a terrorist incase no one noticed......this is the exact same premise of the abandoned KGB agent in triple-X 1
rebecca ferguson
Hmmm i guess my options are
A. Return to sean and get my a*ss murdered
B.go live it up in my porsche condo back in tangiers
C. Defect to the C.I.A
D.using m skills as a kickass field agent to blackmail Simon McBurney into getting my life
I shall choose option A because the movie script says so
narrator
back at tangiers tom and crew all get seated in the failure summit 2015 right next to the avengers *wink wink*
simon pegg
Hey guys you're probably going to get a kick out of this, turns out i had the ledger on me the whole time
tom cruise
Awesome man so rebecca has a dud flash drive
simon pegg
No rebecca totally has a copy just like we do , But giving her a dud would have been a good idea knowing she would betray us, however we can't open it only the prime minister of england can do so
tom cruise
That means sean is going after the prime minister
simon pegg
Pfft! Let's just tell the C.I.A to inform the prime minister and call it a day
tom cruise
What is it with you always trying to cut out unnecessary action scenes? Mind ya self o
Jeremy renner
B*tch, moan and frown like i just sucked a d*ck i bet everyone is suspicious of me just like in ghost protocol again

To be continued......

severee:

Aww cheer up... At least now I know there was a good reason I didn't watch Rogue Nation.

kay9:
Aww cheer up... At least now I know there was a good reason I didn't watch Rogue Nation.

The best mission impossible will always be part 1 that was more creative, the remaining just dey thief james bond and jack bauer up and down

narrator
next rebecca meets with sean at a cemetary
sean harris
So once again i sent you on a mission with a bunch of dudes and they all wound up dead

rebecca ferguson
*shrugs* well nothing stops you from busting a cap in my head and dumping me in one of em graves in this cemetary

sean harris
Nah i'll rather just keep you alive for no reason.........so you got my ledger?
rebecca ferguson
Yep (hands over the flash drive)
sean harris
Uh it's empty
rebecca ferguson
i guess i better go get that shovel
sean harris
pffft! What? C'mon you know i can't stay mad at you, besides the movie wants you alive no matter how convoluted or silly it looks so don't worry i've got one more mission for you to screw up you know for old times sake
narrator
rebecca IMs tom
tom cruise
Hey rebecca wants to meet with me
At an airport terminal,how does my hair look?
jeremy renner
it's not a date dude It's a trap
tom cruise
No it's not it's........
ving rhames
Trap mctrapinstein?
tom cruise
No no no you don't understand she is.....
simon pegg
Putting the rap in trap?
tom cruise
she's feeling the boy y'all just mad she didn't call you........wait a minute how did she know how to contact me? Are super spies that accessible?
(Leaves)

narrator
tom meets with rebecca
tom cruise
So just incase you decide to betray us and unleash a gang of thugs on us just remember there are 4 of us and lord knows how many of you
rebecca ferguson
I'm here because i've a plan,i'm a fugitive and you're a fugitive so let's run away and defy the gov'ts of the world side by side as f*ck buddies
ving rhames
Except that invitation is for a party then i aint buying
jeremy renner
Yea that's the storyline for bourne legacy and i'm still hoping for a part 2
tom cruise
Hmmm what about simon? Simon?
Jens Hultén
I totally kidnapped his a*ss
tom cruise
Quick jeremy let's run him down ving you are the fat old one among us quick get rebecca who is far far away from you
ving rhames
I've got her i've got her..........oops she's gone surprise surprise
sean harris
Hey tom i need you to kidnap the prime minister of england or i'll kill simon muahahahah! now nod your head if you heard what i said........now tell me if you nodded
tom cruise
*rolling eyes* i did(cuts call) damn!
jeremy renner
What? Are you upset that the villain you've been chasing for so long(offscreen) has eluded you once again?
tom cruise
No i just said damn! Cause the prime minister kidnapping plot is way better Than this crapfest
narrator
in london there just happens to be a "prime minister attacking opportunity" gala going on cause hey how else can you hurt a public figure than at a part-ay? we see Simon McBurney rebecca's handler who just so happens to be the f*cking director of MI6
Simon McBurney
Really i'm the head of MI6 and i walk around without any bodyguards? And when did i become so short? and when did i develop bow legs? and why does my face feel like rubber? and why is my throat all itchy? and why does my hair smell like synthetic hair plugs? and why does..........hey i got it you guys wanna.........
jj abrams
Shhh it's a surprise
audience
*rolling eyes* ugh! We know it's tom cruise alright
alec baldwin
I'm here to save the prime minister's life
jeremy renner
And i'm here to snitch
Tom Hollander
So where's your proof that tom is gonna hurt me?
alec baldwin
I don't need proof tom is the sh*t he does what he wants when he wants and how he wants, he is a bad mother......shut your mouth, he is the dude they send to kill the f*cking boogie man he is.........he is.......... tom motherf*cking cruise and he is here to get you
Tom Hollander
F*ck and you couldn't tell me this over the phone? Goddamn now how can i stop this attack when my security detail comprises of two geezers and jeremy renner
simon mcburney
Make that one geezer cause,Tada i'm actually tom cruise(attacks Tom Hollander)
alec baldwin
(Sh*ts a brick)
tom cruise
Okay so time to clear my name
simon mcburney
and I'm here just in time to uh oh.......(is also attacked by tom cruise)
tom cruise
So simon do you admit that M:I totally stole the syndicate plot from james bond spy novels
simon mcburney
Yep
tom cruise
And do you admit to funding them even when you knew it was a dumb idea to begin with and they'll just turn around and f*ck you over?
simon mcburney
Mm-hmm
tom cruise
Alrightie then so alec what do you think?
alec baldwin
Hmmm so i've been complaining about your recklessness all through the movie and voila i see the most reckless of actions take place before my eyes i should obviously arrest your a*ss and resign for being terrible at my job.....man F*ck that cos i'm an irresponsible jerk so now lets do what real american intelligence agencies do, so simon you attacked the prime minister
simon mcburney
no i didn't
alec baldwin
And i saved Tom Hollander
simon mcburney
And no one will pick on the fact that we are hiding our a*sses here because of an american agent?
tom hollander
And neither will they notice the marks on my neck or chemicals in my blood
jj abrams
*shrugs* what can i say? this movie was totally written by a 10 year old
alec baldwin
Now tom take this ton of cash to gamble with/fund terrorism and go cause more mayhem for AMERICA
tom cruise
AMERICA F*CK YEA(f*cks off)
narrator
tom heads over to an outdoor restaurant where rebecca and simon pegg are seated
simon pegg
Hey tom you jerk
tom cruise
simon?
simon pegg
Sorry sean's in my ear and telling me what to say
tom cruise
Oh that scene from knight and day trust me i got this, hey sean you want the ledger you gotta come meet me face to face calling your bluff b*tch
sean harris
Except i anticipated this and actually made simon tell me about the server switch in morrocco so i can just kill all y'all and go stage a heist of my own
tom cruise
Huh?
sean harris
Yea just kidding fine i'll disarm simons bomb(does so)
simon pegg
Yay see you at the safe house tom
tom cruise
Ha ha safe house? What safe house? we are actually running for our lives we certainly aren't laying a trap for sean(nose sprouts like pinnochio)
sean harris
Now i've my most trusted henchmen positioned a 1000yards away from you and a not so trusted rebecca with a handgun just sitting across you, i bet you have no reason to escape
narrator
tom and rebecca immediately make a run for it while popping caps intoS.P.E.C.T.R.Esyndicate agents
S.P.E.C.T.R.Esyndicate agent I
Hey how does tom even know who to shoot at?(Gets shot)
S.P.E.C.T.R.Esyndicate agent II
Maybe its because we are all dressed in black and are rushing him head on rather than i don't long range rifling his a*ss(gets shot too)
sean harris
Damn it i knew i should have been stingy with my henchmen now i've run outta them well guess i've to chase tom down myself (hops into a car)
narrator
rebecca somehow ends up having a knife fight with Jens Hultén
Jens Hultén
Ha ha i'm a more experienced assassin and i have the height and weight advantage there's no way you are gonna(slips over a banana peel and ends up with knife in his skull)
rebecca ferguson
I guess you didn't......THINK THIS THROUGH, cool kick a*ss yans right?
narrator
sean and tom do a live action tom and jerry chase scene
sean harris
I don show(fires blindly at tom cruise even though he wants him alive)
tom cruise
I shall crash into this shop and slide unto this pit
sean harris
Hmmm nothing suspicious about that (jumps in with him)
tom cruise
psyche! I'm totally trapping you the way you did me earlier
sean harris
Being the crazed lunatic i'm i could just commit suicide and gloat about never taking me alive besides another dude is just gonna replace me and .........
tom cruise
gas him now
sean harris
Whatever(passes out)
tom cruise
Ok wrap it up rebecca pucker up we are gonna.........
rebecca ferguson
Thanks(drives off)
tom cruise
What da? Did i just get friend zoned for the FOURTH F*CKING TIME?c'mon when am i ever gonna get laid even jason bourne crushes more a*ss than i do and that's supposed to be a serious movie ugh(walks away)
narrator
back in america alec is rebanding the disbanded IMF
old guys on the committee
So you wanna leave the lucrative career of CIA director to become the director of an on and off IMF agency?
alec baldwin
Yep

old guys on the committee
Um shouldn't you just i don't know merge IMF into the CIA and plus don't you think this will affect your credibility record with us
alec baldwin
Oh never thought about that
old guys on the committee
Psyche! IMF is back online get outta here
tom cruise
So box office how did we do?
box office
$682.3million
tom cruise
Dang it
sean harris
Hehehehe i knew you were going to fail(gets gased again)
End

make i no lie this your write up dry gan, you no even get better thing talk, no be your fault sha na the film wey you pick of all films na rogue nation you wan tackle? rogue nation wey get one of the highest rankings for last year

And HE'S BACK!! Ladies and Gentlemen! HE'S BACK!!!!

O boy! U don open their ass gan

shockwave91:
And HE'S BACK!! Ladies and Gentlemen! HE'S BACK!!!!

Tank u my broda abeg helep me give kobosmart konk for liking rogue nation































ARE U FOR REAL?

severee:
Tank u my broda abeg helep me give kobosmart konk for liking rogue nation

haha! Take am easy

severee:
ARE U FOR REAL?

wetin happen?

shockwave91:
wetin happen?

No mind me jare i just dey para for kobosmart abeg still give am that konk for me o