₦airaland Forum

Adikam:
you are such an iddiot infact you re sensless & mad at desame time you dont have sense of understanding,maybe because you work in the night.the op said she left ₦200,000 a month job+ car to take over 40k job a man who hate her wife wil not book flight 3 times got that into ur dull skull you foool.if am the op you wount see me here.quote me

valencia25:
After serious yanshing from the EX abi, some people will just give advice without putting themselves in OP's shoe.

OP: do you know how many rounds of sex and different styles of Sex they must have done FLESH TO FLESH!

Forget about her before she kill you to finally be with her EX, let her go now when you're still breathing. May God punish any family member that will walk into my home to discuss this shit with me, I'll just ask them what if it was their Wife/Mom.

DrPurposeful:
So every married person with intimacy issue should cheat? Is that what you just said?

drbre:
Kenneth Haggin

natasha:
So because your wife is now gainfully employed she has left you? Because her boss is an ex means she has left you? Does it mean every married woman who puts her dreams and goals on hold, to build up a home, raise her children till they are old enough to be in boarding school and then decide to return to work are automatically dating the men in their office?
Only GOD knows what you put the woman through to the point where she has to take a Job so far away in the east and the fact that she is desperate enough for an income Of her own that she takes an offer with an ex shows that you never treated her right the last 16 years.

God knows when women go back to their ex's its because their husbands havent turned out to be the angel he pretended to be.

Dude search yourself, you may get all the satisfaction from the comments of unmarried hormonal men bashing your wife but at the end of the day, they are not the ones who sacrificed with you the last 16 years. They are not the ones who sleep with you at night even when you are ill or when not in the mood. They are not the ones who bore and cared for your kids.
Not every woman will leave a 200k + job and relocate to be a housewife only to return to a 40k monthly job if she hasnt been through hell and back due to failed promises.

Perhaps, you are the type of man that she has to write letter to request money for pads, cosmetics, hair, maggi etc perhaps you are the type of dude she has to justify why she wants to make her hair monthly, perhaps, just perhaps....we only have your words of how wonderful a husband you have been.

Enjoy the bashing and insults your other half recieves from this public forum....I hope you find the succor you so much desire
Lord deliver us from Sons of Saul!!

Acidosis:
I keep warning people on Nairaland not to allow ex boyfriends/girlfriends interfere in their relationships.

It is not about trust, its about commonsense. An ex should not even be on your contact, BBM, Facebook or Whatsapp. Do not keep pictures of exes, and don't allow anyone of them (dead or living) come near your home.

Sir, your marriage is 15 years plus. Why on earth would a woman leave you, your home and a job of 200k/driver/car for a meagre 40k?

Sir, your wife must have gotten N40k in cash, and N300k in KIND. Whoever tells you otherwise can kill you.

How can you book flights on 3 occasions for a 40K job? Nawaooo!

I don't know what to tell you, many Nairaland women will blame you on this so get ready to act like a man.

Richy4:
Honestly, I don't think the job she offered was 40k......

Since she has started lying about the source of the job and how she got it, she will lie to the fullest.....

Just calm bro.... do not take a hasty decision about this whole thing.. 15 years is a long term commitment.... see if you can see something to salvage on the marriage...... There are lots of kids on this forum. some of them that are flexing their fingers on the keyboard are just 17, 18 years. They might think you are daft because they thought marriage is just boyfriend and relationship........

Just sit her down and ask why she misbehaved when you still got every thing under control..... what was her reason for doing what she did? It was not as if you lost your job or something and you guys were in desperate situation...... just listen to her calmly..... If you are not satisfied with her explanations, then you can do what ever was on your mind.....

adekennis:
Oga I'm sorry to ask, are u alright? WTF r u saying...forgive who?? ...In Buhari voice*...If you know the kind of atrocities the woman have committed,you would not advice the man to forgive her.

noblegrex:
hear talk.is that suppose to be an advice.

valencia25:
After serious yanshing from the EX abi, some people will just give advice without putting themselves in OP's shoe.
OP: do you know how many rounds of sex and different styles of Sex they must have done FLESH TO FLESH!
Forget about her before she kill you to finally be with her EX, let her go now when you're still breathing. May God punish any family member that will walk into my home to discuss this shit with me, I'll just ask them what if it was their Wife/Mom.

OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. my problem now is if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes tomorrow.

MrMcJay:
Most of the posts by ladies on this thread are rationalizing the irresponsible behavior of the wife. Some even went forward to blame the man for his wife's unfaithfulness.

Truly, these bit.ches aren't loyal!

PresVA:
Ok, let him divorce her.. are you guys ok now?

I hope you all can give same advice to women whose husbands cheat!

I still stand on my words, it's her first time of such act and she's remorseful. . I think she deserves a second chance.. If she messes up the second the second chance, then.....
This is a marriage of 15 years, the husband has to try first before letting go..that's if he still has interest though. .

Acidosis:
I keep warning people on Nairaland not to allow ex boyfriends/girlfriends interfere in their relationships.

It is not about trust, its about commonsense. An ex should not even be on your contact, BBM, Facebook or Whatsapp. Do not keep pictures of exes, and don't allow anyone of them (dead or living) come near your home.

Sir, your marriage is 15 years plus. Why on earth would a woman leave you, your home and a job of 200k/driver/car for a meagre 40k?

Sir, your wife must have gotten N40k in cash, and N300k in KIND. Whoever tells you otherwise can kill you.

How can you book flights on 3 occasions for a 40K job? Nawaooo!

I don't know what to tell you, many Nairaland women will blame you on this so get ready to act like a man.

DrPurposeful:
Hello, sorry about everything. I hardly comment on forums like this, but if you ask me, you started it. Your beloved wife told you she got a new job and asked if she can take it, you said "if she wants" You didn't act well there. As the head of your home, you are suppose to make quality decisions on issues like this. Secondly, you never said you caught her doing anything only that she works for her ex politician boyfriend which from every indication shows she still feels something for him. My Advice: Book same flight for both of you and go straight to your wife, sit her down and ask her what she wants! Since you said she was begging you, I believe she still wants her marriage to stand. Never should you end your marriage or divorce your wife. Settle the whole issue; if it means her leaving the job,fine you both can decide and make your marriage work again. If you can successfully stay with a woman for fifteen years, it means she really loves you. 15 years is not 15 days. Work your marriage Mr man. For more counsel or question, please send me a Pm. God bless you

OGGS2000:
thanks for your advice. the family has been doing well and lovely. The children were away on boarding school and when the woman starts to nagging about staying at home every day, you will be willing to let her do what ever it is to make her happy. actually for the one month she has spent there I have spent over two hundred thousand naira. I was doing this to make her happy but didn't know she has a different plan for me.

PresVA:
Ok, let him divorce her.. are you guys ok now?

I hope you all can give same advice to women whose husbands cheat!

I still stand on my words, it's her first time of such act and she's remorseful. . I think she deserves a second chance.. If she messes up the second the second chance, then.....
This is a marriage of 15 years, the husband has to try first before letting go..that's if he still has interest though. .

tearoses:
Husband and wife?
You don't seem to know much about what your wife is up to and you have been reduced to just booking tickets here and there
How can your wife leave home without a firm job offer, description, contract and you are okay with that?
You didn't even know who she was working for and you let her go.

I would have personally driven down there with her and her load, see where she is going to be living etc, and spend a night or two with her to settle her down and use my koro koro eyes to see what is going on.
God forbid if anything happens to her, what answers can you give to any questions you are asked?

Sorry but from what you have said, you dont seem to be in control of your home and very aloof and your wifey took advantage.

I read between the lines and I look at the bigger picture because I have heard many stories that start one way and end up another, so my question is why would a wife of 15 years suddenly wake up one morning and give up her 200k job citing that she wants you to be together?
Hope you dont mind me asking if there has been any infidelity on your part in the past and her coming back was to keep her eye on things.

BTW Were you aware that she was still in contact with her ex?

If you still need your marriage you need to take charge, lead and be very involved in your wife's affairs (by affairs I mean her life) assuming that she too wants to keep her marriage
Her attitude speaks otherwise though.

busomma:
Madam, u're a very miserable & frustrated woman from ur write up. U must've been very unlucky with men & it really shows. Pls give same type of advice to ur daughters so that they can make good wives. U should be ashamed of urself.

Why the shock
It's time for men to realize that their actions have consequences. You cannot cheat on a woman who has sacrificed so much for you and expect her to just forget it like nothing happened.
While she is willing to forgive, forgetting is a whole different matter.
This sudden search for independence is a clear indication that the woman has always felt trapped is now not ready to start living her life.
She may not even be dating her ex like OP is implying, but knowing she is living her life her way could be a huge source of consolation to her!

PresVA:
Since she's remorseful, just give her a second chance and let her into the house but with strict conditions; no more contact whatsoever with the ex... This is a marriage of 15 years, don't let go without trying....also, let her know your stand if she ever engages in any kind of unfaithful act again. warn her strictly...

Can't you start a business for her instead of her sitting idle at home? That way she'll be busy and thoughts like this may be limited or completely eliminated
. ..

Then, next time, know the details of any activity your wife wants to engage in before giving your approval. . Even those of your children too..

InvertedHammer:
/
In other words, she was unemployed and did not leave N200k salary to go take N40k/month salary as you falsely stated in your original post.

There is a lot of missing links in your story.
/

Shegebanti007:
My brother let me tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. i know this my self because am working in National Assemble Abuja, almost all the women there cheat on their husband, and am not surprise she is coming to beg because they always get dumped by those politicians. i know of a case like that, a woman left her husband to follow an honorable member after few months of their wedding, the honorable got her a car, they both traveled abroad for few holidays, but what happened after few months latter, they honorable dumped her, that is what they do, now she went back to beg her husband but he said he cant take her again because if she sees another rich man again she will leave him again, this is they thing, those politicians love women, and they don't care how much it will cost them to snatch your wife, in fact they don't want to know if she is married or not, i know how the spend their cash, these are people that spend millions of Nairas for their weekend flexing. i know few of their driver and you know their is no driver that don't know his oga's secret, they know how their oga womanize around, these men move around with raw cash i tell you. why do you think there is corruption among these politicians? they lavish money on these women. So my advise is these don't accept these woman again because if she sees another man richer than you she would leave again. she have taste they sweetness of money, she know whats it is to be with a rich man and you can change her, just let her be and learn to move on with your life simple.

PresVA:
Ok, let him divorce her.. are you guys ok now?

I hope you all can give same advice to women whose husbands cheat!

I still stand on my words, it's her first time of such act and she's remorseful. . I think she deserves a second chance.. If she messes up the second the second chance, then.....
This is a marriage of 15 years, the husband has to try first before letting go..that's if he still has interest though. .

Mekyno:
this is not u, unless u hv bn practicing dis and want clear ur conscience wit it. Ur facts are nt aligned at all.
It dwarf's d respect i hv for u and ur moniker.

victorjoe:
Reasoning like this is what wrecks homes. What is wrong is wrong. There is no other name for it. If she had nothing to hide, she would have opened up and told him the whole story about the job. There is no smoke without fire.

godoluwa:
there is no reason why I sane woman will leave a husband of 15yrs to go & work under he ex-boyfriend. no gain saying that the woman still have strong feeling for her ex. I'm 95% sure that the woman would have engage herself in sex with that her ex within that a month because women are so flexible.

noblegrex:
if you're not rich,they'll cheat.now you're rich and you satisfied them,they'll still cheat.forgiven her is not the problem. The problem is;can she change? Can the man ever trust her again.after 15yrs of marriage,all she could resort to is infidelity. As for the men that cheats,well,its a chemical reaction that occur in them. I'm not saying they should cheat but as long as they're responsible in all other things then no long thing. Why should women cheats.