₦airaland Forum

Funminicrown:
OP, can we know the name of ur church?

You want the name of the church before you believe some women are not satisfied or to confirm that some churches are taking steps to heal the family?

If you read the OP, I said this was just one of several seminars. I decided to share this one because my wife and I were shocked as we usually assumed that every marriage is sexually satisfied.

doveda:
The woman that is going to end up with him sef must have issues with herself.

God help her case

his type will receive bj but won't give head. Tufiakwa. 69 or nothing yo!!

YourCoffin:
Lies. Blatant lies. Truthless lies.

The sexual imagination in every man's head is overflowing. In fact they can give the creator a run for his money with it. But 98percent of the time the women are unwilling to try it. The women also won't even suggest one.

You are unwilling to try out a fantasy. You won't suggest one either and yet you expect sexual satisfaction. Who does that?

One word 'speak for urself'.

Ok, tht was three

HaneefahRN:
One word 'speak for urself'.
Ok, tht was three

Ah! I should have known

injuredman:
About most of us being hypocrites, I agree with you wholly. Hypocrisy is a Nigerian thing.

But on this topic and your question, I can't say that I am an expect, but we discussed our expectations and limitations with wifie before we got married. We are very open about our needs, and very curious about each others body. That has kept us satisfied of our sexual lives. We experiment on a lot of stuffs. At least wifie has the freedom to complain, but she is yet to complain.

i agree with ur summation, communication is key. but have u noticed couples dnt talk about sex? especially d supposed "christain couples". i dnt do blame thing or men vs women ish instead, i will say everyone shld be responsible for dere actions and inactions.

injuredman:
I am posting this believing that many guys visit the family section too.

My wife and I were chosen as part of the church committee on family issues. The committee has organized many seminars, talks and interaction fora for different family issues. Such include, family finances, child upbringing (children were participants too), in-laws wahalas, careers, and most recently sex as a means of oneness and procreation. The revelations from this last seminar (sex) and the discussions that emanated gave me and my wife a big shock.

It is very common to see or hear all guys bragging of their sexual prowess. On a forum like Nairaland.com, every guy (married or single) have a 7-12 inch dick, can go 30mins none stop, and can make a woman scream always. On the other hand, every married woman is highly satisfied with their sex life(I don't blame them though, afterall, it is a taboo in our society for women to talk about sex or desire satisfaction). But the reality is most married women are not getting what they desire in the bedroom from their husbands. To make matter worst, most of them had tasted good sex before marriage. But in marriage they had to pretend to be satisfied, otherwise they are labelled as sluts. Or, just lie there fantasising about their ex. Some have even contemplated getting it outside, some are doing it, while some opt for romance toys (secretly).

Out of 10 ladies that my wife interacted with, with strict confidence, 5 confessed to either having some form of satisfaction from other men by way of romance or full sex, 2 confessed of having intimacy gadgets to satisfy themselves without the husbands' knowledge, 2 had contemplated doing it (cheating), but are scared of the repercussion as they are from a place where the deities are set against such acts (Note: they are not scared of their hubbies), and only 1 said she is satisfied with hubby's strength in the bedroom. Please note, I can not take this to be a true representation of the of the society. This must be an unfortunate sample size, I guess.

In all these, I see that some women are not getting what they desire. Men are mostly blamed in all these cases. Some don't care if their women have the ability to enjoy sex too, some don't let their wives to contribute or suggest something with regards to their performance. All the 10 husbands to these ladies told me how wonderful they are with their wives in the bedroom. 7 confessed to getting BJ from their wives, but only one returned such favour to his partner. Are guys that selfish? Or these things only change after you are married? I believe "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". As a matter of fact, once you can give a good head, half of your job is done and done well.

If you have weak erektion, as some of the ladies complained, discuss it with your wife and look for solution together. Look for other ways to please her aside penetration. If you have quick ejakulation problem, delay penetration till she is close to her big 'O', while you seek medical attention. You can discuss and agree to start with a romance toy or finish it up with it. This is not the age to shy away or allow the male ego to spoil things for your family. Note, a sexually unsatisfied wife is a nagging wife or a pretender.

I wish all couples a satisfying marriage life.

in your research did you enquire from the women how important sexual satisfaction is to them in a marriage? more specifically how many would actually leave a marriage because of this. yes we blame it on culture bla bla bla but if its that important the woman would walk out. from observation married women consider certain things more important eg paying the bills, providing for the kids, showing respect to her parents/family, church attendance, status in the society etc. on the other hand it is married men that consider sex to be a top priority. 9 out of 10 men will chase out their wives if she denied them sex. 10 out of 10 women will walk if the man stops taking care of them and they find another man who will. except Yoruba women who don't mind providing for their husbands and children and even in-laws

initiate:
in your research did you enquire from the women how important sexual satisfaction is to them in a marriage? more specifically how many would actually leave a marriage because of this. yes we blame it on culture bla bla bla but if its that important the woman would walk out. from observation married women consider certain things more important eg paying the bills, providing for the kids, showing respect to her parents/family, church attendance, status in the society etc. on the other hand it is married men that consider sex to be a top priority. 9 out of 10 men will chase out their wives if she denied them sex. 10 out of 10 women will walk if the man stops taking care of them and they find another man who will. except Yoruba women who don't mind providing for their husbands and children and even in-laws

Well, I agree that sex may not be a top priority to married women, as it is to men. Nevertheless, it is among the first five on their list. Our culture make and the two major religions (Christianity and Islam) put man in charge of the family. So, most women hardly take a lead in some aspects of the family except things pertaining to kitchen and child bearing. As such, men must initiate the communication or give an environment for the women to express their concerns.

The thread is not for blaming, but to let us understand the need for communication. Also, to let us know a women we term as frigid may not be if she is listened to.

KingEbukasBlog:
Insightful OP ? Married guys should step up their game ? I think Nigerian women or most women bore men with their languid sex styles . The women give no reason to their hubbies to "step up his game" with their distasteful attitude towards spicing things up . Women were designed for that kind of thing not the men . Plus put some efforts and not push the burden of performance to him alone . You'll wear him out and he might look elsewhere - enticing and worth being longed for .

Give him a reason to wish for you all day and watch him give you memorable nights - its that simple .

Stop generalising. How do you know women don't have a positive attitude towards spicing things up? Are you married?

Stop being naive jor.

injuredman:
Well, I agree that sex may not be a top priority to married women, as it is to men. Nevertheless, it is among the first five on their list. Our culture make and the two major religions (Christianity and Islam) put man in charge of the family. So, most women hardly take a lead in some aspects of the family except things pertaining to kitchen and child bearing. As such, men must initiate the communication or give an environment for the women to express their concerns.

The thread is not for blaming, but to let us understand the need for communication. Also, to let us know a women we term as frigid may not be if she is listened to.

When responsibilities sort of take the front burner, how do married folks get the spice back into their sex life?

doveda:
Lazy Ode!

A woman who would end up with you is doomed!

I think what he is trying to say is the effort shouldn't come from the man alone. It has to be a mutual venture

Ishilove:
When responsibilities sort of take the front burner, how do married folks get the spice back into their sex life?

A big question!!

Responsibilities can turn the fire low, but can't quench it fully. It is good when both partners are low in the sexual desires, but if one person still has the strong desire, it could be worked out. I had a moment like that, what helped was communication, and she also knows me ignition keys.
If wifie needs it and I am not in the mode, she will do those things I appreciate or consider special. To reciprocate, I will offer to give it to her. In the process, she will inset the right keys and I will even pick it up more than her. Same thing if I need it, and she is too tired. I will fix her special meal, and let her rest. When I finish with my seductive moves without pressuring her, na she go drag me go room.

It all boils down to proper communication and knowing your partner. After all, no level of responsibilities can stop us from cooking and eating.

Ishilove:
Stop generalising. How do you know women don't have a positive attitude towards spicing things up? Are you married?

Stop being naive jor.

Lol ... dont mind me ... I just wanted to give a different opinion

injuredman:
A big question!!

Responsibilities can turn the fire low, but can't quench it fully. It is good when both partners are low in the sexual desires, but if one person still has the strong desire, it could be worked out. I had a moment like that, what helped was communication, and she also knows me ignition keys.
If wifie needs it and I am not in the mode, she will do those things I appreciate or consider special. To reciprocate, I will offer to give it to her. In the process, she will inset the right keys and I will even pick it up more than her. Same thing if I need it, and she is too tired. I will fix her special meal, and let her rest. When I finish with my seductive moves without pressuring her, na she go drag me go room.

It all boils down to proper communication and knowing your partner. After all, no level of responsibilities can stop us from cooking and eating.

Hmmm, such wisdom. I'm happy for ur wife, I pray happiness, love and understanding in ur union continues to grow

Op you said the truth. I saw this you're seeing now early 2011 when Auntie Agatha published my letter to her about solutions to sexual maladjustments in marriages.

Do you know to my greatest surprise my email box got so much email from dissatisfied wives and dysfunctional men.

Even though am not a fan of marriage, but am a fan of happiness so I decided to coach.

The best way out of the dilemma, is for men to learn. Whether you think you're good or not keep learning practice on your wife and ask questions.

You can learn from reading good books on the topic, like the ones below. I have so many of such books.

Hit me up if you need them, but you MUST BE MARRIED.

colin.aduah@gmail.com.

But also women are not helping the matter. Married women should also learn how to step up their games too.

.A lot can't tell their hubby when they need the thing thinking it makes them sound like sluts. For goodness sake are men mind readers?

A lot doesn't know the act of male seduction, not knowing that men are sight oriented and love making for the man starts from what he sees.

They don't know how to select and wear sexy undies. The kind of undies Nigerian women wear is enough to give a man weak erection when madam removes clothes.

Padded bra is not HOT to men and can't get a man up and doing. Get lacy see through half cup sheer bra.

White big pampers look alike cover all panties are not HOT, get lacy thongs, Tanga, cheekies, G-strings and V-strings.

Night gowns nko? Nonsense. For goodness sake people that designed babydoll nightie are not stupid.

What about staying neat and trim? Nigerian women are accustomed to be so bushy down there that sometimes it looks as if we might chase grasscutters down there.

How many women can willingly allow a guy to go from behind or willingly allow a husband to go down on them?

How many women will willingly and boldly take charge?

If you ask them to wear sexy undies they will tell you, they are not club girls, the thing is meant for only to have children.

Some are not bold enough to ask for what they need.

Most performances that husbands put up are actually how the wife lead them on to.

Some will not even allow you to look at the thing while doing.

Wives are busy cracking their brain to find out whether the man has done enough for them since the week to deserve the show than putting themselves into the act.

The bottom line is that husbands contributes to it and wives too, to far extent, both should humble themselves down and learn how to please each other.

ColinAdua:
But also women are not helping the matter. Married women should also learn how to step up their games too.

.A lot can't tell their hubby when they need the thing thinking it makes them sound like sluts. For goodness sake are men mind readers?

A lot doesn't know the act of male seduction, not knowing that men are sight oriented and love making for the man starts from what he sees.

They don't know how to select and wear sexy undies. The kind of undies Nigerian women wear is enough to give a man weak erection when madam removes clothes.

Padded bra is not HOT to men and can't get a man up and doing. Get lacy see through half cup sheer bra.

White big pampers look alike cover all panties are not HOT, get lacy thongs, Tanga, cheekies, G-strings and V-strings.

Night gowns nko? Nonsense. For goodness sake people that designed babydoll nightie are not stupid.

What about staying neat and trim? Nigerian women are accustomed to be so bushy down there that sometimes it looks as if we might chase grasscutters down there.

How many women can willingly allow a guy to go from behind or willingly allow a husband to go down on them?

How many women will willingly and boldly take charge?

If you ask them to wear sexy undies they will tell you, they are not club girls, the thing is meant for only to have children.

Some are not bold enough to ask for what they need.

Most performances that husbands put up are actually how the wife lead them on to.

Some will not even allow you to look at the thing while doing.

Wives are busy cracking their brain to find out whether the man has done enough for them since the week to deserve the show than putting themselves into the act.

The bottom line is that husbands contributes to it and wives too, to far extent, both should humble themselves down and learn how to please each other.

Hmmmmm.
So much from a guy who campaigning for celibacy. How did you know all these when you've got no interest in marriage or women? Abi just to sell the books you ordered?

injuredman:
A big question!!

Responsibilities can turn the fire low, but can't quench it fully. It is good when both partners are low in the sexual desires, but if one person still has the strong desire, it could be worked out. I had a moment like that, what helped was communication, and she also knows me ignition keys.
If wifie needs it and I am not in the mode, she will do those things I appreciate or consider special. To reciprocate, I will offer to give it to her. In the process, she will inset the right keys and I will even pick it up more than her. Same thing if I need it, and she is too tired. I will fix her special meal, and let her rest. When I finish with my seductive moves without pressuring her, na she go drag me go room.

It all boils down to proper communication and knowing your partner. After all, no level of responsibilities can stop us from cooking and eating.

Nice.

In Obodo Nigeria?

ColinAdua:
A lot doesn't know the act of male seduction, not knowing that men are sight oriented and love making for the man starts from what he sees.
They don't know how to select and wear sexy undies. The kind of undies Nigerian women wear is enough to give a man weak erection when madam removes clothes.
Padded bra is not HOT to men and can't get a man up and doing. Get lacy see through half cup sheer bra.
White big pampers look alike cover all panties are not HOT, get lacy thongs, Tanga, cheekies, G-strings and V-strings.
Night gowns nko? Nonsense. For goodness sake people that designed babydoll nightie are not stupid.
What about staying neat and trim? Nigerian women are accustomed to be so bushy down there that sometimes it looks as if we might chase grasscutters down there.
How many women can willingly allow a guy to go from behind or willingly allow a husband to go down on them?

Do you know how much those sexy thongs and things you talked about cost?
Baby doll nightie, do you know the price?
Check Victoria secret and come let's talk about nig women not using them in 21st Century.
And I just heard a pot of egusi soup cost over 800 naira...ummm

armyofone:
In Obodo Nigeria?


Do you know how much those sexy thongs and things you talked about cost?
Baby doll nightie, do you know the price?
Check Victoria secret and come let's talk about nig women not using them in 21st Century.
And I just heard a pot of egusi soup cost over 800 naira...ummm

The guy is reading those things in some books written by oyibo. He is not married and even advocating for other guys to remain single. I suspect he is just here to sell some books he ordered from obodo oyibo.

When he buys any of those for a wife or girlfriend, let's see how vocal he will be.

injuredman:
A big question!!

Responsibilities can turn the fire low, but can't quench it fully. It is good when both partners are low in the sexual desires, but if one person still has the strong desire, it could be worked out. I had a moment like that, what helped was communication, and she also knows me ignition keys.
If wifie needs it and I am not in the mode, she will do those things I appreciate or consider special. To reciprocate, I will offer to give it to her. In the process, she will inset the right keys and I will even pick it up more than her. Same thing if I need it, and she is too tired. I will fix her special meal, and let her rest. When I finish with my seductive moves without pressuring her, na she go drag me go room.

It all boils down to proper communication and knowing your partner. After all, no level of responsibilities can stop us from cooking and eating.

Twale!!

ColinAdua:
But also women are not helping the matter. Married women should also learn how to step up their games too.

.A lot can't tell their hubby when they need the thing thinking it makes them sound like sluts. For goodness sake are men mind readers?

A lot doesn't know the act of male seduction, not knowing that men are sight oriented and love making for the man starts from what he sees.

They don't know how to select and wear sexy undies. The kind of undies Nigerian women wear is enough to give a man weak erection when madam removes clothes.

Padded bra is not HOT to men and can't get a man up and doing. Get lacy see through half cup sheer bra.

White big pampers look alike cover all panties are not HOT, get lacy thongs, Tanga, cheekies, G-strings and V-strings.

Night gowns nko? Nonsense. For goodness sake people that designed babydoll nightie are not stupid.

What about staying neat and trim? Nigerian women are accustomed to be so bushy down there that sometimes it looks as if we might chase grasscutters down there.

How many women can willingly allow a guy to go from behind or willingly allow a husband to go down on them?

How many women will willingly and boldly take charge?

If you ask them to wear sexy undies they will tell you, they are not club girls, the thing is meant for only to have children.

Some are not bold enough to ask for what they need.

Most performances that husbands put up are actually how the wife lead them on to.

Some will not even allow you to look at the thing while doing.

Wives are busy cracking their brain to find out whether the man has done enough for them since the week to deserve the show than putting themselves into the act.

The bottom line is that husbands contributes to it and wives too, to far extent, both should humble themselves down and learn how to please each other.

Stop typing yeyerity. How many women do you think like their man putting his mouth there? That's just gross

ColinAdua:
But also women are not helping the matter.

What about staying neat and trim? Nigerian women are accustomed to be so bushy down there that sometimes it looks as if we might chase grasscutters down there.

you dey fvck other ppls wives or how you take plenty women bushie?

Let's not forget that it's not all men you can discuss sexual issues with,some end up feeling and calling you names...I had a friend whose husband saw a vibrator with,went thru her phone and saw some porn videos and it has been all war in d house...months after months,his grouse is dat if she can buy a toy y wldnt she follow men outside or if she is watching stuff y wouldn't she go outside but I believe if it was a man she was open to she would be able to discuss her sexual feelings with him...
So the question is how can such women communicate with their spouses

Ishilove:
Stop typing yeyerity. How many women do you think like their man putting his mouth there? That's just gross

Typical naija woman

Curiouscity:
Hmmmmm.
So much from a guy who campaigning for celibacy. How did you know all these when you've got no interest in marriage or women? Abi just to sell the books you ordered?

You just said it all "CURIOSITY KILLED THE RAT"


HAHA!

Ishilove:
Stop typing yeyerity. How many women do you think like their man putting his mouth there? That's just gross

Please do you lack simple reading skills or you don't understand simple English?

I just said that. You only confirmed my writing.

Please kindly be a little polite next time because we are not quarrelling.

armyofone:
In Obodo Nigeria?


Do you know how much those sexy thongs and things you talked about cost?
Baby doll nightie, do you know the price?
Check Victoria secret and come let's talk about nig women not using them in 21st Century.
And I just heard a pot of egusi soup cost over 800 naira...ummm

China made cheap ones full market. I used to import them before.

Curiouscity:
The guy is reading those things in some books written by oyibo. He is not married and even advocating for other guys to remain single. I suspect he is just here to sell some books he ordered from obodo oyibo.

When he buys any of those for a wife or girlfriend, let's see how vocal he will be.

I used to buy them way back then when I was so stupid to be doing the sinful boyfriend - girlfriend rubbish.

I saw them every where the last time I went to main market Onitsha.

China makes them now. You can get a good one for N350, visit Main Market Onitsha.

Curiouscity:
The guy is reading those things in some books written by oyibo. He is not married and even advocating for other guys to remain single. I suspect he is just here to sell some books he ordered from obodo oyibo.

When he buys any of those for a wife or girlfriend, let's see how vocal he will be.

You forgot I was in the game years ago before God captured me. I was almost married. Thank God I mustered courage to pull away.

ColinAdua:
Please do you lack simple reading skills or you don't understand simple English?

I just said that. You only confirmed my writing.

Please kindly be a little polite next time because we are not quarrelling.

I was being polite, stop being so sensitive. I still maintain that what you typed is a load of bullshit

so na me go wear cheap thongs and night doll okrika go wait oga for bed you mean o

ColinAdua:
China made cheap ones full market. I used to import them before.

oyb:
Typical naija woman

Seriously though, what is sauce for the goose doesn't always taste good for the gander. Not everyone likes oral sexx for the simple reason that everyone have their individual tastes or what turns them on in the bedroom. Just because MouthAction is all the rave doesn't mean everybody buys into it.

There are various other kinky stuff which one can get into without getting down there. That's gross