Hello nairalanders, I'm new to this forum.
I'm living (currently) in Germany. I've been in your beautiful country few months ago and I've been so lucky to got married to the finest woman I ever could dream of. She's a mother of three children at the age between 7 and 12 years. She lost her late husband few years ago.
Okay, the reason now for posting here is, that of course we want to live together - for me it will not matter where, may it be here in Germany or in Nigeria. My question is, because now my new stepchildren shall have the same legal status than my other three grown up biological daughters.
While I'm aware, that I never can replace the father my stepchildren lost, but I'll do my best and I'll make absolutely no difference between my biological kids and my stepchildren, so my wify and I decided to go for the adoption.
I've researched about the adoption process, but the results I could get didn't fit our case.
Does anyone know what requirements we need to fulfill for the adoption.
Oh and I do have another question too:
In case the German authorities are still so fuzzy and will raise obstacle after obstacles for my family to come to Germany, I'd like to move to Nigeria for good. Now I've been reading, that a Nigerian male who is married to an alien female can give the Nigerian citizenship to his wife.
But a Nigerian female married to an alien male is not able to do so ......hm, on the other hand, in the Nigerian Constitutions I've found that discrimination because of gender, religion ...etc is against the law. That confuses me a lot.
Can anyone help and give us some information?
Oh, my family lives in FCT
Thanks a lot in advance

I'm here to learn too.
But in d case of Nigeria, I don't think there would be any restrictions as to you living in Nigeria and raising your kids here. Laws of citizenship aren't so strict here and if your marriage is done here, all good for you

Big time hypocrisy in this country, but OP why do yu even want to come to this forsaken land?

peacengine:
Big time hypocrisy in this country, but OP why do yu even want to come to this forsaken land?

Yes I know that it's not an "El Dorado" but being together with wife and kids is the only thing what counts.
I know about the public electricity, the water problems, the school fees, the health care, the social security aspects, the crime rate, the scarcity of fuel, all that I'm aware of, but my family lives there, and I'm belonging nowhere else than at the side of my beloved wife and kids.
At the marriage we both promised to stay together and go through thick and thin as long as we will live.
So the location, where we will be is not the major question .....me I think, there are living how many people in Nigeria? I guess more than 170 million ....so why not me?
Yes I know, many would like to move abroad and would "trade" with me, believe me sir, I gladly would give me German citizenship and the passport away and being able to stay in Nigeria for good ....hm yes my wify says otherwise, she wants to touch the snow in winter with her hands and live overhere. If the authorities will issue the visas, well fine, but you cannot imagine how fozzy and therefore inhuman they are ....raising each time new obstacles.....
Just one example:
We've tried to get married here in Germany and so we've applied for a visa .....they've asked me about a certificate of imbandance for my fiance ....so I tried to get such a document. Do you know what the registration officer in Germany told me? It can take up to 12 years to get it. That is absolutely ot of any question ....way way too long, that's why we decided for the wedding in Nigeria. And as a footnote: it's said overhere, that getting a certificate in Nigeria just depends on the money .....I cannot say that, the wedding ceremony at the high Court was even more detailed and with dignity, way more than overhere.....
The next issue I've experienced was at the embassies ....the nigerian embassy in Berlin Germany and the German embassy in Abuja.
Comparing both of them, while the nigerian embassy in Berlin has way colder weather, but the atmosphere was warm and human .....the german embassy is in a way warmer location, but the atmosphere is way colder, impersonal and only ruled by paragraphs.
So even when you're talking about a "forsaken country" in terms of economy and development I guess, but the friendliness of the people is counting. And overall, I do see many of the problem which you have to face in Nigeria are made from the countries abroad. I don't want to know how chaotic it would be overhere if we would have to face the same issues than you have to .....all I know is, that we would do way worse than you are doing.
And above all of course, if my family would live in a desert, or at the South Pole or even at the moon ....that's where I'm belonging too and there is no other place for me to be happy.

Since you have already married then stay in Nigeria.

They are your step-children so I don't think adoption should be an option. Their father was not absent from their lives he only passed on. They surely have family ties on their father's side.

If you work in Nigeria then please stay put and enjoy your family life here. If you and your new family ever want to travel then they can applying for visiting visas.

The Germany embassy will definitely put hurdles in your citizenship request because its sounds suspicious.
I means what's the rush for adoption for three kids that are not biologically yours.
I mean how long have you been married that new wife wants to move and see the snow. There is snow in Africa biko!

Maybe when you have shown a history of living as a family and you sharing responsibility for these kids then any sort of citizen application would be looked at more favorably.

It would not be farfetched to think your wife would up and leave as soon as she has secured German citizenship for herself and kids. These things happen.

Move to Nigeria , stay a few years.
There's a large German community here especially in the North(including Abuja FCT) so getting a work permit may not be so hard.

I see your reasonable and valid points, thank you for your comments. I only had the opportunity to stay with the kids for a few weeks .....way too short of course. But when I left, all of them was crying. My heart is still bleeding and I'm still carrying the letter they wrote to me and apologized for not obeying to their Mom like I we want them to do ....well kids of course....... But even during that short time we could spend together, I've experienced that we was on the right way with how to educate the kids ......I think, children need to be treated like "little" adults and when I or we want them to do this or that, then giving an explanation of why is always better than just an order. I can say, that I've raised my ( biological) kids without shouting at them or giving them a slap ....it just requires a little investment of time to explain them the reasons and I do think, I will not damage the authority of the parents to show the kids, that even the man's feelings are vulnerable and that overall there's the concern that the kids are getting a good life, becoming well respected members of a comunity and foremost submitting them the value of a happy family, which means that all members need to feel comfortable, save, well understood, respected and loved. I'm aware, that it will take a long time until the kids will really trust the new man at their mom's side and that they can always rely on this person. It's not a process which goes in a finger snap.
The only thing I already have done was, to explain the planned adoption to my daughters and I'm glad that they understood and are all for it ....they're exited to get new siblings already. They also understand, even when I have to admit, that they're not that happy about my intention to move to Nigeria ......
Oh and for the fact that it happens that the part of a couple which moved to Germany will abandon the other part of the couple as soon as the permission to stay will be no longer depending on living together ....yes I'm aware of that, but I don't believe that for such a separation lays at the African part only .....instead I'm thinking that it depends on how the partner from abroad got treated. If in the house only tenderness and respecting each other will dwell as well as equity and harmony, then it might not come automatically to a separation.
I rather believe that it depends on how both will see the Union .....it should always be at the free will of both of them, without any thought of possessing the partner ......of course not.
Well, because I want my wife being the boss of the family ......indeed, the female part of the family is the family core ....the whole atmosphere in any family is affected by the woman and does she's happy or not. It's on us males to take the wifes love never for granted and it's on us, to show our wifes each day for new again, how much we are loving them and admire them.
It will not damage a man's position in a family when we're showing our great respects to our wifes and that we are aware, that our reason for being in the family is to care for them in the first place. The key for a happy family is a happy wife only .....
It has not much to do with material goods I think, rather than with the emotions and being faithful and loyal to her until the heart will stop beating.
Submitting those behave to the kids hopefully will make them copy it for their own families later.

Permit me to ask, what part of Nigeria is your wife (and her late husband) from

Does her ex husband's family know you are about to adopt their kids Are they in agreement to this?

IMO, adoption is a legal process and there's definitely no need to rush all that. You can be a father to them without legally giving them your name. In any case, dead or not, they still belong to their late father's family. That's the tradition down here.

I don't think not getting citizenship for them is enough to exile yourselves to Nigeria. You can still live in Germany with them without attributing the citizenship status to them.

PS: Too much unnecessary stories in your post.

Well, I'm aware of the traditional aspects, I was more interested in the law aspects. And for the traditional aspects .....from what I know is, since more than 7 years the late husbands family gave a damn about the children nor the widow, so I'm curious how they even legally spoken have any right to claim custody now that I'm married.
They're from the south.

@ KlausVestner: You are a good man. Wishing you and your family the best.

P.S. You would probably be best suited going for a legal consultation or seeking advice at the High Court

for adoption it depends on the state where the wife stays as each state has different procedures for adoption.
for instance in Lagos it is required that you contact the department of social welfare, go to court etc and pay some huge fees to the bank. while in Ogun just contact the probation officer who will take you to court and get your statements the Magistrate will then interview you and grant the process. it is with the order that you can say that they are legally adopted.

Thank you for your information ....
Well, I think, if I would move to Nigeria, then there really would be no rush for an adoption, it was more if my family would decide to come to Germany. It would give the kids way more security if they could get a German passport.
You know, those german authorities are so fuzzy and strictly, that's why we are consider an adoption ......we also thought about the family Name ....I fully agree that the kids should keep their fathers name as well for always keeping their father in their hearts.

you sound more American/Nigerian than German, just wondering.

tpiar:
you sound more American/Nigerian than German, just wondering.

Oh really?
How is that? How does the "typical" germans sound?
I know, that from my point of view, other germans always think 25 times before they're making up their mind and tend to be conservative and the money aspect is very important to them.
To me, what's in the heart is counting and there's no place for material things. All I want is a happy family .....hm and I guess I'm stubborn enough to focus on that and nothing else. I hate it when authorities are hiding behind their paragraphs and not consider, that each law is made for human beings and not reverse. .....But it's not on us to judge others, we better leave that in the Hands of God. I know, nobody can follow the word of the Almighty Father in all aspects, only His Son did.
No, what I think is .....probably in the opposite of many other germans, that the own belongings always have to be placed behind the family belongings .....well I'm old and had a tough school of life.

Hello people..please I have a similar problem...I have been married for 2years now and am in UK with my husband...but I have a 12 yrs old daughter with my ex boyfriend and ever since I gave birth to her I have been the one taking care of her.and she is answering my father's surname.me and my husband wants to apply for her UK settlement visa to join us..is it necessary to change her surname from that of my father's to my husband surname? Before applying for her passport...

Stephforme:
Hello people..please I have a similar problem...I have been married for 2years now and am in UK with my husband...but I have a 12 yrs old daughter with my ex boyfriend and ever since I gave birth to her I have been the one taking care of her.and she is answering my father's surname.me and my husband wants to apply for her UK settlement visa to join us..is it necessary to change her surname from that of my father's to my husband surname? Before applying for her passport...

yes

Stephforme:
Hello people..please I have a similar problem...I have been married for 2years now and am in UK with my husband...but I have a 12 yrs old daughter with my ex boyfriend and ever since I gave birth to her I have been the one taking care of her.and she is answering my father's surname.me and my husband wants to apply for her UK settlement visa to join us..is it necessary to change her surname from that of my father's to my husband surname? Before applying for her passport...

Hello good evening, please how did it go with getting your daughter to the Uk with your new husband ?
I have same issue right now, I have a 2 years older daughter who’s with my ex in Nigeria, I’m planning to take her to join me and my husband in the UK, I don’t know how easy and possible it is to go about this

U can do the application, get all the necessary documents, and also prove that u have sole responsibility for the child....quote author=nuel80 post=99693972]

Hello good evening, please how did it go with getting your daughter to the Uk with your new husband ?
I have same issue right now, I have a 2 years older daughter who’s with my ex in Nigeria, I’m planning to take her to join me and my husband in the UK, I don’t know how easy and possible it is to go about this [/quote]

Were u married with your ex?
Did u tell home office about the child when u were applying to join your husband?
?

nuel80:


Hello good evening, please how did it go with getting your daughter to the Uk with your new husband ?
I have same issue right now, I have a 2 years older daughter who’s with my ex in Nigeria, I’m planning to take her to join me and my husband in the UK, I don’t know how easy and possible it is to go about this

Stephforme:
Were u married with your ex?
Did u tell home office about the child when u were applying to join your husband?
?

We were only traditionally married. Yes I mentioned the child.

Since she is the mother of the children it should be not too complicated to adopt.
Please let your wife make the enquires.
Certainly after adoption they are entitled to German passports..
There AR elawyers in Nigeria that deal with international adootion.
Please consult one.
They would help you process everything.

KlausVestner:
Hello nairalanders, I'm new to this forum.
I'm living (currently) in Germany. I've been in your beautiful country few months ago and I've been so lucky to got married to the finest woman I ever could dream of. She's a mother of three children at the age between 7 and 12 years. She lost her late husband few years ago.
Okay, the reason now for posting here is, that of course we want to live together - for me it will not matter where, may it be here in Germany or in Nigeria. My question is, because now my new stepchildren shall have the same legal status than my other three grown up biological daughters.
While I'm aware, that I never can replace the father my stepchildren lost, but I'll do my best and I'll make absolutely no difference between my biological kids and my stepchildren, so my wify and I decided to go for the adoption.
I've researched about the adoption process, but the results I could get didn't fit our case.
Does anyone know what requirements we need to fulfill for the adoption.
Oh and I do have another question too:
In case the German authorities are still so fuzzy and will raise obstacle after obstacles for my family to come to Germany, I'd like to move to Nigeria for good. Now I've been reading, that a Nigerian male who is married to an alien female can give the Nigerian citizenship to his wife.
But a Nigerian female married to an alien male is not able to do so ......hm, on the other hand, in the Nigerian Constitutions I've found that discrimination because of gender, religion ...etc is against the law. That confuses me a lot.
Can anyone help and give us some information?
Oh, my family lives in FCT
Thanks a lot in advance

You can still play the role of a father with out adopting those children to bear your name

By circumstances they are going to be your step children

Their African root is what is going to be an obstacles for your adoption because their father's family will still need to give you approval and am very sure they will not give such approval

Pls go ahead to help them in moulding their future

So go ahead