₦airaland Forum

Analysiscorner:
Actually, the issue of forgiveness is not for him 100 percent, but rather for your own sake. God wants constant purity of the heart, and there is no way for you to have it without forgiving.
Then, for his own benefit, when you forgive him, you are poised to show him real love, like you would have wanted him to show but he failed. Under the atmosphere of love, he might change for good and stop his beastly behaviour, to become a loving father. You have a right to punish him, but remember that your objectiveof punishing him is not to do away with him but to make him think like a human being,to the place that he acts responsibly.
And it is on this issue of acting responsibly that I would like you to do everything within your power to make him realise the damages he has caused, and start to live up to his duties.

I saw him recently, he looked lost and broken. I don't know how to mend our broken bond. It feels awkward just being in his presence. it broke my heart into a million pieces when he called me on my birthday crying like a child. I want to let go and forgive, but with everything that happened it soo hard. I just can't seem to forget.

rubsaphy:
I saw him recently, he looked lost and broken. I don't know how to mend our broken bond. It feels awkward just being in his presence. it broke my heart into a million pieces when he called me on my birthday crying like a child. I want to let go and forgive, but with everything that happened it soo hard. I just can't seem to forget.

Just give it time.
He's sorry for his misdeeds, but as you've been told earlier, you also need some time to heal.
Don't worry, you will get there.
It can't really be forced

rubsaphy:
I saw him recently, he looked lost and broken. I don't know how to mend our broken bond. It feels awkward just being in his presence. it broke my heart into a million pieces when he called me on my birthday crying like a child. I want to let go and forgive, but with everything that happened it soo hard. I just can't seem to forget.

I agree with you. it's so hard to forgive. But the grace of God can enable one do that.

Rukkydelta:
And even here on nl everyone will still advise you to forgive him whereas they don't know what you,your siblings and mum went through...........My dear just do what's on your mind

best advice... They will never understand till they have walked in her shoes....

zube01:
best advice... They will never understand till they have walked in her shoes....

If she refuses to forgive her father, nobody is judging her.
My point about forgiveness is that it is good for her physical and spiritual wellbeing. So, it might be very hard to do; but it is still in her best interest to forgive.

How is your dad, Nne?

rubsaphy:
Sometimes I still ask myself what went wrong? What changed him? I used to be his "chikito" as he fondly called me, I was so sure he loved us, me and my sisters, not until he bluntly asked us out of his house and never cared to call or find out how we were surviving.
It all started 2003 when mumsi cousin got pregnant for my dad and gave birth to a boy. my family was in disarray, an abomination, but to cover the shame my mum agreed to care for the child and tell anyone that asked that the child was adopted. I and my sisters didn't care all we knew was that we had a baby brother, God has finally answered our prayers or so we thought. I was sure I heard mumsi cry every night she woke up to feed the baby, cos he was jus five months old when she took him. Before he reached 9months my father's family came to take the baby, claiming my mother was a witch that since she can't produce a son she was definitely going to kill the only heir my father had. The day they came for the baby she jus sat outside crying, consoling us at the same time cos we did not understand what was happening.
fast foward to 2008 my mum gave birth to my brother and my dad bought her a car. That was when the story changed, mumsi cousin came back this time with a girl child and with thugs armed with guns she claimed when she gave birth to a son nobody bought her a car, she also claimed the child with her was for my father and he has being trying to shun his responsibilities. That was when mumsi lost it and decided she couldn't stay in the marriage anymore, after their divorce we stay with my dad for like two years because mumsi travelled, that when I noticed my dad perverted attitude he slept with anything that wears skirt my dislike for him turned to hate, I blamed him for everything that has befallen our family. He brought home a woman one day, she was nice at first but after a couple of weeks she showed her real colours, she asked my dad to kick us out and he didn't hesitate. we did not communicate with him for two good years. Now he is back trying to apologize and everybody is saying forgive. I just can't forgive cos I know how hard it was for mumsi to care for me and my siblings. I hate that I am his child and I already changed my surname. I wish he well sha

my dear my case is even worse than yours.. I feel your pains though..