₦airaland Forum

zaynie:
3 year old o!
...knock her head
... knows right from wrong
... disrespectful...do they even know what 'respect' means?
They are still in the learning phase.


Beating a child over every little thing will do one of 2 things
1. Break the child's spirit. A bubbly child is now afraid to speak for fear of getting lashed for saying the wrong thing....at age 3 when their vocab is just getting developed!
2. Wake up the monster inside. He rebels esp to get attention. The same way you correct him is the way he will correct anyone who wrongs him or perhaps says what he doesnt like...with slaps, knocks and harsh words. He becomes a bully and stops using his words, he uses his fist.

Keep it up, the same way you were raised to keep quiet when an adult is talking even if he is spewing trash, just like how our old leaders keep dishing us trash and we dont speak because we have been drilled to not disobey our elders.
Abi?


ClassicB, quick question....are you overweight?
You dont have to answer that on here.
Do you find it hard to diet?
Does it irritate you when people have left overs after eating?
I am not attacking you ( please dont take offence), our parents are awesome and did wonderfully well, infact I think parents are magicians, everyone of them has a secret formula, buh they weren't perfect.
I am a parent and I am not perfect.
Heck! I'm still learning.

point of correction madam, i was not raised to keep quiet. i was raised to be reasonable and disciplined.

britiko:
Op, I don't think u should be worried abt her statement. She's just saying she's upset at you forcing her to drink more than she needed. Infact, if she had told me that, I wold run after her and grab her from the back as she's walking, rock her and ask her why she's upset with dad. And you guys would av laughed over it and dats all. however, you could tell her that it's disrespectful to walk out on her dad. And let her know d consequences if such acts repeats itself.

She merely expressed her opinion. She's growing and that does not mean she's being disrespectful to you.
I'm assuming she's in d western world where kids are taught to express themselves and not shy away like we do in Nigeria. We shy away under d cover of respect and do not question our parents. There's no harm in a child expressing him/ herself and that does not spell disrespectfulness.

Pls handle your child the best way u deem fit. Set boundaries but try to understand that she's growing and has got emotions too.

This reminds me of my aunt who got back from work and complained that her patient said "goodbye crocodile " to her and was very upset. Why would she call me a crocodile? But to her amazement we all started laughing because the patient meant "good bye buddy". Crocodile wasn't an abusive word but a friendly slang in this context.

So don't be mad at ur daughter o. Tell her dad loves her and wants d best for her. Don't keep quiet. Dialogue with her.

Do u have a daughter?

Blessed be that child that's gon Come from u

Wonderful DAD.

PresVA:
Op's location will influence whatever action he takes shaa... different environment, different strategy...

Very true. That's why I'm finding it hard to advise.

tjskii:
Smh, 3year old throws a tantrum and ure worried.. I really wonder where this world is headed.. My kid tells me that il be like, don't ever say that to mummy, is that clear, next time u do il spank ur bombom, oya say mummy I'm sorry.. I av 4 and 3yr old rambunctious, very naughty, say Watever comes to their brain little boys, this is ow I handle them, slowly but surely I'm making progress, Wat iv come to realize is they nid to know ure in charge, if not they'll ride roughshod all over you

Who did I saw?

Firearms hearthrob
Oh my my


I hope you still as pretty as ever

Mskrisx:
Do u have a daughter?

Blessed be that child that's gon Come from u

Wonderful DAD.

Yes, I do. She's 4. So I understand the op's situation.
Thanks for d compliment. I'm a mum.

britiko:
Yes, I do. She's 4. So I understand the op's situation.
Thanks for d compliment. I'm a mum.

Sorry my bad..

Wonderful mum. *smiles*

Dyt:
Who did I saw?

Firearms hearthrob
Oh my my


I hope you still as pretty as ever

funny you, I dey o, as pretty as I can be with 2 Lil men running me ragged, ow are u

tjskii:
funny you, I dey o, as pretty as I can be with 2 Lil men running me ragged, ow are u

Good good good

SAMBARRY:
gbam.take 5.all this oyinbo training sef hennn.especially the one efemena suggested e dey vex me like seriously.

Why?

We've both got differing perspectives on how toddlers should be brought up.

You believe in "koncking", yelling, threatening, and flogging them to within an inch of their life - to the point where the child becomes a silent, emotional wreck, afraid of their own shadow. I don't.

SAMBARRY:
No wonder all this Nigerian ajebo raised overseas Don spoil finish. Them nor even get respect. Na them go tell their mama mummy shut up I'm still talking

That a very generalistic statement you've made. I too in the same vein could say your jungle justice tactics of correcting a child only hardens them up and that's why "all these Nigerian based kids raised in Nigeria are hardened armed robbers, boko haram militants, and serial child rapists, not to mention poorly educated, short-sighted, political thieves with selfish, individualistic agendas of their own..."

SAMBARRY:
When you eye the child the message is delivered and understood.apologise for what? Nonsense. Why do I have cane.cane of 50naira under the chair or behind the curtain will make her behave even without using it on her.seeing it alone is enough

Violence begets violence. You do know that, don't you?

I am mad at you simply means I'm upset with you. I see nothing wrong with her saying that rather than resenting you in her heart she spoke up and gave you the opportunity to apologise. We must never feel too big to apologise to our kids when we are wrong
There is nothing ride about what she said. This is why Nigerians are overly docile and our politician ride us. We beat children when they are bold and speak up and end up making them docile

EfemenaXY:
Why?

We've both got differing perspectives on how toddlers should be brought up.

You believe in "koncking", yelling, threatening, and flogging them to within an inch of their life - to the point where the child becomes a silent, emotional wreck, afraid of their own shadow. I don't.



That a very generalistic statement you've made. I too in the same vein could say your jungle justice tactics of correcting a child only hardens them up and that's why "all these Nigerian based kids raised in Nigeria are hardened armed robbers, boko haram militants, and serial child rapists, not to mention poorly educated, short-sighted, political thieves with selfish, individualistic agendas of their own..."



Violence begets violence. You do know that, don't you?

well it all boils down to this fact

To each their own

Long time. How are you