₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
@postmann

The point agenda is from your post, check your previous quote I responded to.

That your line no gel... Like byvan03 explained, respect connotes different things to different men.

Threads like first to greet, asking hubby to do chores, kneeling to greet, saying yes to everything, calling his friends uncle, submitting your salary, changing your phone number/signature etc. clearly shows that different strokes for different folks.

All that matters is knowing who you are marrying & run with it. If una style no flow, do u-turn or live with it.

Well I don't do blackmail. I say it as it is.

@Response time: don't mind us joor. Home & work. Thank God I am not a service provider

Lol @ submission of salary, that is just the height of it. Weird pattern of thinking mehnnn...

Tell us about this respect every man can relate to, illustrate if you don't mind.

byvan03:
Tell us about this respect every man can relate to, illustrate if you don't mind.

I said most men, not every man. It's too early for misrepresentation of statement.

As for your question; Under the subheading RESPECT, is a little narrative. Most mentally and emotionally balanced men can relate to that.

postmann:
Except you acknowledge him as King and treat him accordingly, you're by no means his Queen --Postmann


The difference between a man and a woman runs deeper than just their physical make up and appearance. There're psychological and physiological divide that makes each sex completely distinct and unique. So much so that each expresses and reacts to certain gestures, moods, emotions, desires, and situations differently from the other.

On the individual level, most men and women have not invested enough time to study and understand these differences. Consequently, it has resulted in the miscarriage of good motives and gestures when conveyed across gender.
There is no other stage where this is more obvious than the marital front.

For instance, men generally handle stress by not focusing on the stress. They'd rather not talk about it, but prefere to deal with it by watching TV or reading a newspaper. Women on the other hand, handle stress by talking about it. So, the wife may adjudge her husband's male strategy of dealing with stress as "emotionally unavailable" while the husband may see his wife as nagging when she wants them to talk over some issues. The examples are endless.

So how does a wife convey her love to her husband, manoeuvring through the great male-female chasm, without getting misunderstood? How does she speak and act love in a language her husband understands? Remember, a wife's action to show love can be different from what her husband needs to feel loved.

Let's consider 3 factors:

RESPECT: Acknowledge him for who he is. He is your husband and that translates to mean he is your KING! One who sits above your pastor/pope, or boss and yes, your dad (Num 30:6-15).
Except you acknowledge him as King, you are by no means his Queen. Let him lead, and trust his judgment most times and you'll be part of his decision making.

He appreciates it when you seek his opinion and advice on even the little things that pertains you. Be they work-related, health or finance. Again, what a wife may intend as respect in her actions and what a husband needs to feel respected can be two different things.

APPRECIATION: There's nothing that saps out the drive, enthusiasm, and self-belief of a good husband than an under-appreciating wife. A man is hardwired to be a provider for his family. And he gets a lot of fulfillment from doing that and getting his wife's appreciation. A wife who makes him feel inadequate as a provider with constant complaints can make a good, hardworking man grow timid, unmotivated and drained-out.

But sincere, well timed praises for his good works, gestures and sensitivity can boost his ego and make him more successful with greater zeal to please his wife.
Serving him his favourite meal without his asking makes him know how lucky he was when he put that ring on your finger.


Sex is a responsibility


SURRENDER: The sex life of some married couples is nothing close to a hot romantic scene from your favourite soap opera. For some reasons a lot of women lose their sex drive in marriage. This is dangerous!!!

Now, we understand the road to getting women aroused is quite different to that of men. Women need lots of romance, communication, non-sexual touches, cuddling and all that to get aroused, but men can get aroused simply out of nowhere, just straight out of the blue! And he may reach out for his wife in an odd, not-in-the-mood hour.

But let's try to define sex: It's an act of union in intimacy; it is the fusion of two bodies, minds, hearts and souls as they become one in beatitude. It is simply love blossomed. But sex is a RESPONSIBILITY!!! (1cor 7:3-5)

That's the main point, it's a responsibility. Except for illness and some unbearable situation, a wife should endeavour to feed her husband's coital appetite as much as she possibly can.

A husband perceives his wife's regular sexual refusal as an act of rejection, a judgment against his attractiveness . He simply believes his wife doesn't love him. And a sexually starved man is an unfulfilled and frustrated man and can be up for grabs by just any lady that looks good enough to warm his bed.

If a wife gives in only when she's in the mood, then she runs a great risk of leaving her husband sexually unsatisfied most times of his life. A husband feels loved when his wife seldom turns his sexual advances down. Rather than turning him down, take his hands and walk him down the road to your arousal. That's not asking too much.

And you can go a step further to be the reality of his fantasy!!! He appreciates it when you initiate the act at times.
Waking him up from the deep, in the middle of the night with the heat of your passionate desire makes him feel desired like he's still that cute guy you fell for some years back.


N.B This is only a cursory illustration of how a wife can love her husband in a way he understands, it is by no means a scientific delineation on the subject matter.

What happens when the man rejects her?

Ishilove:
What happens when the man rejects her?

Quotes like this never comes as a mention. Rejection in what area exastly? Sexual advances or rejecting him as her king?

postmann:
Quotes like this never comes as a mention. Rejection in what area exastly? Sexual advances or rejecting him as her king?

Her sexual advances. It can be very disheartening, ya know

Ishilove:
Her sexual advances. It can be very disheartening, ya know

Depends on how long or frequent she does the rejection. He'd be forced to commit adultery or go into polygamy.

postmann:
Depends on how long or frequent she does the rejection. He'd be forced to commit adultery or go into polygamy.

No, I mean what happens when the man rejects her advances frequently

Ishilove:
No, I mean what happens when the man rejects her advances frequently

Then she leaves the man open to polygamy or adultery. One of which he's most likely to choose.

postmann:
Then she leaves the man open to polygamy or adultery. One of which he's most likely to choose.

I don't quite understand you. When her husband keeps rejecting her sexual advances, she should just leave him to do as he pleases outside?

Ishilove:
I don't quite understand you. When her husband keeps rejecting her sexual advances, she should just leave him to do as he pleases outside?

Oh oh! I misunderstood you completely. Thought you meant the man was the victim.

Depends on how long or frequent. He opens her up for unfaithfulness. But if it persists longer than reasonable, she needs to opt out of the marriage. But committing adultery while still married to him is a taboo!!!

postmann:
Oh oh! I misunderstood you completely. Thought you meant the man was the victim.

Depends on how long or frequent. He opens her up for unfaithfulness. But if it persists longer than reasonable, she needs to opt out of the marriage. But committing adultery while still married to him is a taboo!!!

Why opt out? When something is broken, fix it. Don't throw it away.

Call family meeting on top hin head!!