₦airaland Forum

vizkiz:
Hilarious? Let me see....

OK, I remember when I was in Jss2 at Livingstone then when bimbo (a girl who became the goliath of my life) took my #50 and kept it inside her bra. She told me to come take it if i dare...I couldn't just stop crying and pleading to bimbo "please give me back my money"

Even my pal demola volunteered to help me take it but she declined saying I was the one she wanted. Na so I leave my money come trek go house oh. Lol..

I know demola will be laughing when he reads this...

*Modified

The idiot just called me now and said he saw my comment on frontpage. He reminded me on whatsapp how she really tempted me to touch her breast then but my humble mumu sef is so filled with fear

well probably because I am a virgin

dammydrumz:
mine: i was trying to force my head through a burglary and my head got stuck in btw.

that day was terrible, how i was rescued? i still don't know till date.

dammydrumz:
mine: i was trying to force my head through a burglary and my head got stuck in btw.

that day was terrible, how i was rescued? i still don't know till date.

dammydrumz:
mine: i was trying to force my head through a burglary and my head got stuck in btw.

that day was terrible, how i was rescued? i still don't know till date.

tottinova:
I did so many bad things oh! But the funniest was stealing momsi's money to buy palito. That night, I was beaten like a thief. Momsi almost used the palito's ear piece to strangle me.
Lol Palito

smileysmiley:
I thought I was the only child silly enough to do that... I was so scared ehn, I thought they were going to cut my head off... in fact I give all thanks to God and mother's love

Jennifer89:
lol. you wan been enter that mallam shop go park biscuit and sweet abi?

tottinova:
I did so many bad things oh!
But the funniest was stealing momsi's money to buy palito.
That night, I was beaten like a thief.
Momsi almost used the palito's ear piece to strangle me.

Lol
Palito

KyleBrry:
After watching Home alone, I became somewhat devilish. I once unringed the remote control of my friend neighbour's motor bike, with the intention of manipulatin' it at will. Omo I succeed oooo, na so time reach make the man comot oooo, I carry remote DE chill for window with my friend. Na so this man find am tire, im no see am. Omo na im this guy start bike won comot, na so I off am from inside my friend their house oooo. God forgive me oooo, the guy fall down e almost die, exhaust almost comot this man leg. Forgive me O'Lawd...

remele2:
Never saw a black chicken b4 always white and very big..

The day my uncle brought one Black big chicken,
I rushed to the corridor with soap and water..

I baf diz fowl eeeeeeh sote cold catch am.

My father came out and asked me, Son, what is the problem?, i said,,Daddy, uncle brought a dirty Fowl and i want to wash it clean.

smileysmiley:
My elder sister and I were super mischievous children, home alone and its likes were our kind of movie so we did terrible things to people around us. I'll list some of them:

1. Our neighbor was a chronic copycat, she would always buy whatever our mum buys for us for her kids so we dealt with her. We excreted inside her children's socks and put it into the new school bag she bought for them. N/b: The school bag was exactly like ours, haba... she no see another type for market We tore her window net, used the copy cat clothes she bought for her kids to clean the gutter and put them inside her window. The woman even came to our house to collect some aloe vera to grow and all of a sudden our own stopped growing, we destroyed her own. The woman suffered in our hands sha and she never knew the perpetrators of the evil act till date.

2. We robbed our mum's provision store every morning before going to school. When mummy found out, she stopped the driver from stopping in her store before taking us to school, we decided to change the routine to an afternoon routine, we robbed when we got back from school against the next morning. That store suffered sha, we will put 7up inside cup and be drinking then tell my mum's sales girl that it is water. The jekuje we were collecting made it difficult for us to eat our school food so my mum reported us to the supervisor. My elder sister would throw her own away during school period and I will stupidly carry my own back, my supervisor was the person who taught me the lyrics of "some have food" and she always made me eat the food after the song.

3. I was so scared of dogs and I have been chased by 3 dogs in my life. The first was in my house, I climbed the wardrobe. The second was in my cousin's place, I climbed a ladder to the zinc. The third was in my mum's friend's place, I climbed the woman's Mercedes Benz.

4. My dad had a long throat friend who always came to eat in our house every morning. He had a wife ooo but he always came to eat eba with my dad every morning. He came one day when my dad traveled and my mum told the maid to make eba for him, my elder sister, the maid and I urinated inside and I think that was the last time we saw him for a long time. We heard he was sick but the annoying thing is that he continued coming after he got better.

5. There was a building opposite ours and my sis quarreled with the son of the owner of the building. They kept malice for about one year and during that period we excreted inside a nylon and threw it on their zinc. The sad thing is that their zinc was leaking so rain always washed the poo into their house.

I'll stop here for now, my sis and I were terrorists when we were kids.

sundoj08:
Hmm btw whr is monalisa185.. Oya come and confess

ohhhhh my f*cking goodness!! Where in heaven's name have you been hidding? still running from the boss huh?

Oya where's your own confession?

tottinova:
I did so many bad things oh!
But the funniest was stealing momsi's money to buy palito.
That night, I was beaten like a thief.
Momsi almost used the palito's ear piece to strangle me.

Lol
Palito

Monalisa185:
ohhhhh my f*cking goodness!! Where in heaven's name have you been hidding? still running from the boss huh?

Oya where's your own confession?

sundoj08:
Maybe hiding from you but now I'm back with a bang and rearing to go

Lol I asked u first na

ohhhh yeah?? he's back with a bang to buzz the boss(me) bring it on baby!!!


No Na, you lead by example na..motivate me jor

Monalisa185:
ohhhh yeah?? he's back with a bang to buzz the boss(me) bring it on baby!!!


No Na, you lead by example na..motivate me jor

sundoj08:
You sure bout wanting me to bring it on cos with the ammo in my arsenal even the acclaimed boss would run at a loss

Aiite I'll go first.. This probably ranks as one of the craziest things I've done considering i was still a kid at the time.
Okay i was hit with a very serious typhoid fever at the time and spent 3 days in the hospital taking drips and all. On the day i got discharged, i was recuperating at my cousin's crib and then i saw her very pretty friend and went straight up to woo her despite barely able to talk and i even helped her carry the water she was fetching all the way to her house (with one of my arms bandaged up due to swellings from multiple syringes). She loked but still said No cos she definitely thought i was crazy.

Don’t test me, cuz there aint no telling wat I
might do next...When I start mine, they'll shoot right through your mind which stores your rhymes...this is just a freestyle, better than your lifestyle

Jacksonville:
Back then, we used to jump out of the school bus window cuz i can't wait to get down from the bus while others struggle through the door


Plus: I watched a marvel cartoon collection of ice man and wondered how he became ice man. So i locked my self inside deep freezer . Tnks to my snr sister who came to my rescue . I for become iced meat

marshalcarter:
Lwkmd wen ya mumsi go wan cook soup...she go just chop you thinkin she's chopping the frozen turkey

marshalcarter:
Lwkmd wen ya mumsi go wan cook soup...she go just chop me thinkin she's chopping the frozen turkey

Monalisa185:
[b]Don’t test me, cuz there aint no telling wat I
might do next...When I start mine, they'll shoot right through your mind which stores your rhymes...this is just a freestyle, better than your lifestyle


Now I'm so motivated..lol, that's some crazy mumu stuff..so typical!

Well, as a kid, I really didn't do much, at least none I can remember, we were so restricted as kids, Buh I could share one I did away from home..

I was given alotta beans when I was little (little wonder why I didn't grow so tall considering the mount of beans I ate)...Each time I ate beans, I end up farting up and down in class, quite embarrassing, Buh as a kid, who cared about the embarrassment? You know that kinda moment you fart and you'll be the first to do "hmmmmmmm, what was that" lol, yeah, I always got away with it *covers face*

xoxo...one day, after school, I and a few other class mates were hanging around school, waiting to be picked up, I suddenly had that feeling that I was gonn' fart, Buh it was so unusual, it wasn't coming out freely like it always did, then I decided to force it, booomm! Some watery poo ran into my panties.. Lmao, I screamed 'ehhhhhhhhh?', the smell was already circulating round, I quickly ran to the back of the class, peeped into my sports wear 'hmmmm' that was a mess , before I could turn, my class mates had already gathered around me, they laughed the hell outta me ehhhh..

After that day, I started eating beans once every week..lol, crazy[/b]

sundoj08:
I'd be thankful if your words would come alive so you would see that Just like a Sherman tank to a Tiger tank, your words merely bounce off me like some prank. I'm sorry babe but i got the tiger darts and you can't handle none of that

Lmaoo as gross as that is, i cannot imagine the embarrassment.. I would've wished the Earth could open up so i can take a dive

I'm not impressed...aii, chill, lemme finish the rest...you well know I'm the best, that's the reason you scared to take the test...
My lines are well thought, not some shiit outta the butt, nor off the cuff, they ain't even made to fluff!!
I'll take you down like the ghostbusters...bring your shiits on and imma wrap you up like a spell caster...Xoxo

Monalisa185:
I'm not impressed...aii, chill, lemme finish the rest...you well know I'm the best, that's the reason you scared to take the test...
My lines are well thought, not some shiit outta the butt, nor off the cuff, they ain't even made to fluff!!
I'll take you down like the ghostbusters...bring your shiits on and imma wrap you up like a spell caster...Xoxo


I'm telling you... In as much as I was a kid at that time, trust me, I still felt a lil bit embarrassed... Funny shiit

sundoj08:
Damn girl *Claps*.. Oh i see u mean business and I'm taking it up a notch now.

Alright,
I've been tryna lay low tryna give u some hope but slow can't cut it nomore so I'm going dope. Now you hanging by my thread and i hold the rope and like a king that i am I'll control you. One part the fuehrer, one part the pope till your hopes fade away even with a telescope.



Sure would... Now you the queen and everybody gon have to RESPECK that

lol, good thing you recognized the boss

Okay, you think you going dope? Hell nah, you just gonn' sit there and mop while I eat you up like a piece of meat, you'll need help to move your feet...
Hey! You better not enter my arena, because just like john cena, I'll smack you down like a gorilla okay, now you should go take a chill pill and you better not weep

kwencypresh:
Enjoying the comments

esonuu:
Dropping my pen on the floor,bends to pick it and then use dat opportunity to peep through the thighs of my female classmates who sits with their legs opened just to know the colour of their panties..saw plenty sha

CXLVII:
I use to fly my dads private jet from Lagos to New-York when he leaves home in the morning and had to park it back before he comes back home in the evening.