₦airaland Forum

Op sorry to say, ur mother is wicked!!

In my family my eldest sis isn't my father child, but my dad married mum knowing she had a daughter, even we the children was not aware that our elder sis was only our half sis. Not until recently!!

Imagine mum and dad are late now, but u will never know that my sis is not my father child, even she self doesn't talk about the so called man that abandoned her.

My sis is 34yrs now ooo..

Wat am I saying ur mum should have be able to show u off that u are her first fruit!!

OP I want to challenge u to hustle and get rich!! That ur father will be the one looking for u. Just like the story of one of my relative in the village that was abandoned during pregnancy by his biological father, but my uncle in the village married his mom knowing he had a child.

Now the guy is now oil baron in the east popular do u know that his biological father want to come and claim him as his son?

The sharp guy deny him also.
To the stage that a village meeting was called!!
Yet the guy didn't recognise him as his father!!

OP forget ur family and move on with ur life!
I know how u feel!!

Imagine if ur father want to meet you, he would hav come since bro!!

Amelian:
Op i feel what you are going through . Its really sad , and so touching your mum didnt even play her role of a mother to you. Possibly your looks remind her of your dad but its never your fault in whichever way u look.
In God's eyes u are created in his image and with God's love.
Then pertainin to your dad? How would u feel if your dad , after searching for him but refuses to acknowledge u as his son and worse off, refuse to allow his immediate family and wife know that he has a son somewhere, from a relationship in his past.
I say this because, i have an aunt shes the first child of my late mum elder sis. Way back during the civil war, so they said o.. My mum elder sis was in a short relationship with her a man, her dad. Immediately she got pregnant, he denied responsibility and dissappeared into thin air. She then gave birth to my aunt and transffered the child to granny , who took care of her . While my mum sis came to lagos, to start a new life
She got married to a different man, she had five kids for her new husband.. She left my aunt with granny for so many years. Until aunty became an adult, granny told her , her real mum is in lagos. She was heartbroken but she then came to lagos to meet my mum sis, her real mother.
My mum sis was not happy seeing come into her matrimonial home that she has been maintaining for years. But she had to choice than to answer her question. Which is who is my dad and where is he?
My mum sis gave her , after much confrontations, the dad's name and where he stays but warnes her , she may not like the reception she will receive there. She said no problem., as long as hes her dad, he wont be heartless like her .
She went to the address . The secuirity guards at her father's gate asked her who is she looking for? She called her dad's full name.. They asked her, is she on appointment cause he rarely sees strangers without appointments.. She said no appointment but its urgent and life threathening she sees him.
They told her to leave the gate and the premises.. In the midst of arguements, her dad came out, hes a rich old man.. He asked whats the problem, why the noise? She quickly rushed to meet and said shes the daughter of , she mentioned her mother's name and that shes his child way back then.
The way he dragged her to the gate roughly and he snapped at her .. Look i dont know yohr mum or whatever name u called.. So u want to ruin my home right? Thats how u girls without ambition go around looking for rich men to fleece. If u love yur life, i dont want to ever see u here again! What rubbish! Daughter indeed.. Secuirty pls take this lady out of here .. And i dont want to ever see her here again.. Orelse your jobs are over.. My aunt was so stunned as she dragged out of his compound, she cried till she came to.my mum's house to complain and share her pain.. We all felt for her but she has to move on.
Mother does not want her, likewise dad too.. She stayed with us for a while. Before she made up her and relocated to the north to start a new life, away from everyone.
So my dear op, its tough but why stress yourself much on searching for yur dad. If yur dad wants u ,he will search for u all these years.
Be closer to God, He will care for you more than what u can ever imagine.
Relocate from yur area after graduating. God will see u through.
Am an orphan but God is taking good care of me, so well.. That i lack nothing, except my parents love and guidiance when they were still alive.. God bless them.
AFter their deaths, i relocated .. A new life , a new begining... And new friends.
Do the same, hold onto God and see if your past will not be buried as one of those pasts.
Its well with your soul, amen.

wow!i cried reading this.
Thank God for your life

Amelian:
Word..#
Pure reality!

It's not reality, just an assumption, what if the mum had told the dad that he died of measles at a younger age? He should be pessimistic let him search first and when he gets to that bridge probably he can draw an inference if he is ready to accepting him. You never can say he may be his only child or son. He would have probably outgrown the youthful exuberance that warranted his initial rejection of the pregnancy or child, he may also encounter a matured, responsible or sober father who may be ready to reunite with his blood.

Seunme2u:
same fink happen to me here I'll be 30 in few months time but I've not set my eyes on my mum, I've had different kind of story from my father side don't even bother to knw my mum again but I know one day one both d living and death will see again, I'm a graduate of eksu, if I eventually get married I will convert my wife to my mother.

But are you aware that you are just hearing one side of the whole story? Your father's side and narrated by your father. If you ask me, I'll tell you to look for her. You don't have to get close to her afterwards. God forbid that the wife you eventually marry turn out to be your sister.

Amelian:
Op i feel what you are going through . Its really sad , and so touching your mum didnt even play her role of a mother to you. Possibly your looks remind her of your dad but its never your fault in whichever way u look.
In God's eyes u are created in his image and with God's love.
Then pertainin to your dad? How would u feel if your dad , after searching for him but refuses to acknowledge u as his son and worse off, refuse to allow his immediate family and wife know that he has a son somewhere, from a relationship in his past.
I say this because, i have an aunt shes the first child of my late mum elder sis. Way back during the civil war, so they said o.. My mum elder sis was in a short relationship with her a man, her dad. Immediately she got pregnant, he denied responsibility and dissappeared into thin air. She then gave birth to my aunt and transffered the child to granny , who took care of her . While my mum sis came to lagos, to start a new life
She got married to a different man, she had five kids for her new husband.. She left my aunt with granny for so many years. Until aunty became an adult, granny told her , her real mum is in lagos. She was heartbroken but she then came to lagos to meet my mum sis, her real mother.
My mum sis was not happy seeing come into her matrimonial home that she has been maintaining for years. But she had to choice than to answer her question. Which is who is my dad and where is he?
My mum sis gave her , after much confrontations, the dad's name and where he stays but warnes her , she may not like the reception she will receive there. She said no problem., as long as hes her dad, he wont be heartless like her .
She went to the address . The secuirity guards at her father's gate asked her who is she looking for? She called her dad's full name.. They asked her, is she on appointment cause he rarely sees strangers without appointments.. She said no appointment but its urgent and life threathening she sees him.
They told her to leave the gate and the premises.. In the midst of arguements, her dad came out, hes a rich old man.. He asked whats the problem, why the noise? She quickly rushed to meet and said shes the daughter of , she mentioned her mother's name and that shes his child way back then.
The way he dragged her to the gate roughly and he snapped at her .. Look i dont know yohr mum or whatever name u called.. So u want to ruin my home right? Thats how u girls without ambition go around looking for rich men to fleece. If u love yur life, i dont want to ever see u here again! What rubbish! Daughter indeed.. Secuirty pls take this lady out of here .. And i dont want to ever see her here again.. Orelse your jobs are over.. My aunt was so stunned as she dragged out of his compound, she cried till she came to.my mum's house to complain and share her pain.. We all felt for her but she has to move on.
Mother does not want her, likewise dad too.. She stayed with us for a while. Before she made up her and relocated to the north to start a new life, away from everyone.
So my dear op, its tough but why stress yourself much on searching for yur dad. If yur dad wants u ,he will search for u all these years.
Be closer to God, He will care for you more than what u can ever imagine.
Relocate from yur area after graduating. God will see u through.
Am an orphan but God is taking good care of me, so well.. That i lack nothing, except my parents love and guidiance when they were still alive.. God bless them.
AFter their deaths, i relocated .. A new life , a new begining... And new friends.
Do the same, hold onto God and see if your past will not be buried as one of those pasts.
Its well with your soul, amen.

This true life story almost put a tear to my eyes..Where did we lose it? The sympathy, the love, the kindness, humanity?....I hope her strength and even urs will inspire the world one day...cheers.

I pray u find him, all the best

Op MAKE SURE YOU DNT NEGLECT THIS POST., I do feel for you ,may God help you

missyge:
I sincerely understnd how you feel. I av never been in such situation but i knw how it feels to b at ds age nd not knw who ur father is, not dat he is dead, but hes still alive...

Il suggest u go d village whr ur mother told u he is from...get every details of the place nd how u can get dere, including his name nd even pet name if he eva had one den,,nd i blive ul get an info dat will mke u continue in ur search....

You should also pray that God should bring a connection btw both of u nd Hel do that...

As pa ur mother who dosnt feel happy wenevr ure around, i guess wenever she sees u, there a particular thing dat she remembrs dat makes her sad, i guess u should try ur best, sit her dwn, nd ask her wat it is dat causes her pain weneva she sees u...i bliv shel tell u cos no matter wat, shes ur mother nd ure her ist son, shel need u one day....

You said ur younger bro is a graduate nd now living in a flat with his car, while ure still struggling with studues....
hmmm.. theres time fr everything.....Yours will come, even 100folds...All u need is patience..
Remembr u were nt aborted, God kept u for a reason which must be accomplished no matter how lng it takes

Lastly, dnt let anybdy intimidate u, dat allow dem make u feel ure inferior...
Forget bout wat pple say nd b concerned bout wat God says bout u. Den ul see ur self soaring lke eagles....

factsdigger:
Op MAKE SURE YOU DNT NEGLECT THIS POST., I do feel for you ,may God help you

Amen o. I feel fr him too

jadelyn007:
You think if your dad wanted you, he wouldn't have come for you all these while? You think if you were some rich young guy your dad wouldn't come claiming you?
Better mind your business and better your life, don't go looking something that doesn't exist.
Better to assume that he is dead than deal with the agony of rejection when you eventually meet him

I don't agree with you.....if the person in question is a man.....at least for the sake of the family he will have....he has to belong naturally to a home ....he needs to know his home land.dosent necessarily have to need anything from his father. ....just to know him is enough.but if its a lady.then ur advice applies cos after all she gets married and start her family......useful information on how to find his father be given him I suggest.....kudos nairalanders

This is sad
Bro ignore him
Be successful first
Finish ur school

You look like a nice chap . you have the right to disturb ur mum n vigorously search 4 ur dad.
Trust me u wont like wat u will see.
Get ur life , do something for ursef b4 looking 4 him. Thanks

I am that I am.

So many touching stories, just like movie scripts. Op, i can't say sorry and don't know what to spew. Why human being wicked na!

I dey talk am then, i no like give girl belle oo but if i do no abortion and i go father d pikin. Another food for thought here is all of you going around bad mouthing people anyhow one day make una no let una mouth make person komit suicide. Alot of people with alot of stories, imagine insulting him that he's with no father, bastard etc and not knowing he has his story to tell.

Touch me because that age still pass mine, op search for him but hold on to God as he's the best father you can have, searching and when you find him take am jeje as you approach him so it doesn't turn worse like Amelian said.

Amelian:
Op i feel what you are going through . Its really sad , and so touching your mum didnt even play her role of a mother to you. Possibly your looks remind her of your dad but its never your fault in whichever way u look.
In God's eyes u are created in his image and with God's love.
Then pertainin to your dad? How would u feel if your dad , after searching for him but refuses to acknowledge u as his son and worse off, refuse to allow his immediate family and wife know that he has a son somewhere, from a relationship in his past.
I say this because, i have an aunt shes the first child of my late mum elder sis. Way back during the civil war, so they said o.. My mum elder sis was in a short relationship with her a man, her dad. Immediately she got pregnant, he denied responsibility and dissappeared into thin air. She then gave birth to my aunt and transffered the child to granny , who took care of her . While my mum sis came to lagos, to start a new life
She got married to a different man, she had five kids for her new husband.. She left my aunt with granny for so many years. Until aunty became an adult, granny told her , her real mum is in lagos. She was heartbroken but she then came to lagos to meet my mum sis, her real mother.
My mum sis was not happy seeing come into her matrimonial home that she has been maintaining for years. But she had to choice than to answer her question. Which is who is my dad and where is he?
My mum sis gave her , after much confrontations, the dad's name and where he stays but warnes her , she may not like the reception she will receive there. She said no problem., as long as hes her dad, he wont be heartless like her .
She went to the address . The secuirity guards at her father's gate asked her who is she looking for? She called her dad's full name.. They asked her, is she on appointment cause he rarely sees strangers without appointments.. She said no appointment but its urgent and life threathening she sees him.
They told her to leave the gate and the premises.. In the midst of arguements, her dad came out, hes a rich old man.. He asked whats the problem, why the noise? She quickly rushed to meet and said shes the daughter of , she mentioned her mother's name and that shes his child way back then.
The way he dragged her to the gate roughly and he snapped at her .. Look i dont know yohr mum or whatever name u called.. So u want to ruin my home right? Thats how u girls without ambition go around looking for rich men to fleece. If u love yur life, i dont want to ever see u here again! What rubbish! Daughter indeed.. Secuirty pls take this lady out of here .. And i dont want to ever see her here again.. Orelse your jobs are over.. My aunt was so stunned as she dragged out of his compound, she cried till she came to.my mum's house to complain and share her pain.. We all felt for her but she has to move on.
Mother does not want her, likewise dad too.. She stayed with us for a while. Before she made up her and relocated to the north to start a new life, away from everyone.
So my dear op, its tough but why stress yourself much on searching for yur dad. If yur dad wants u ,he will search for u all these years.
Be closer to God, He will care for you more than what u can ever imagine.
Relocate from yur area after graduating. God will see u through.
Am an orphan but God is taking good care of me, so well.. That i lack nothing, except my parents love and guidiance when they were still alive.. God bless them.
AFter their deaths, i relocated .. A new life , a new begining... And new friends.
Do the same, hold onto God and see if your past will not be buried as one of those pasts.
Its well with your soul, amen.

hey baby! I feel your pain even more than the op, God and Jesus will surely be ur family, I want to be your family too if u don't mind, my number is 08064357013, we can chat on WhatsApp, only if u don't mind, I also share similar experience but different is that my parent divorce due to genotype issue, after losing two of my young brother to sickle cell disorder, both of them has remarried but am not living with any of them, least I forget I also have the disorder but u can't know, sometimes my mum pretend as if am her brother not son, but both tried for me because they sent me school which am through with but still in the labour market, my step dad/mum husband bought a car for his 21 years old daughter,who will even buy a car for me? But I thank God for my life , am 31 now, still strong am looking forward to what the future hold for me.

officialmcfresh1:
In few months i'll be 29years but am yet to know who my biological father is. I'm a 400level student of university of port harcourt from omoku in rivers state atleast so I was told by my grand parents.

I was told my mum was dating my dad and she got pregnant then they both decided to abort the baby, they went to a native doctor who helped them with native drugs she took severely but the pregnancy could not be aborted. My mum almost died in this process, it was then her dad heard about it and took her to the hospital where she was taken care of.

Well. The baby was born (me). My grand dad called the family of my dad to come claim their child and take up their responsibility. Unfortunately the night to the day they were supposed to come see my grand day, my dad left to lagos and has never returned to this day.

My mum got married and has 4kids now and her family is doing very well. She left me with my grand parent who raised me. I didn't even know she was my mum till I was grown.

She never care about me from day one. I went through hell to go through primary and secondary school cause her dad is very old and wasn't working.

I did a lot of things just to survive cause somehow God was just blessing the works of my hands until I decided to go to the university. My mum and her family is well to do in every essence and we live in the same town almost the same street but not in the same house cause I still live at my grand parents house whenever I return from school.

Now my pain is. How do I find out who my dad is. All my mum knows about him is that his name is Mr Oputa Onita from Omoku community in rivers state. When I confronted her about it she told me he has an elder brother by name Mr Ikechukwu Onita and this man was fully aware of what happened but they don't reside her in omoku town and I can't even reach them.

Am living like a stronger in my town cause almost everyone knows about this story so much that I don't feel comfortable even with my younger ones anytime I go visiting.

I don't know how to go about this but I feel it's time I need to fine out who my real father is because I believe I have the right to know. I have never seen him before, not even a picture of what he looks like.

My mum doesn't care about this and she doesn't even care if I exist of not. Someone who can comfortably stay months without calling or hearing from me. Anytime she sees me it's like I make her angry cause she never smiles whenever she see me. Just that sometimes she pretends to smile but we both know we don't have that mother and son connection or relationship which I've in so many ways to bridge the gap but still to no positive output.

All this affects me emotionally but I jut pretend to be okey. This sometimes make me jealous of my younger ones even if I don't desire to be. My immediate younger brother who am older then with about 4years is done with school and is living in a two bedroom apartment, has a car which his dad bought for him while am still struggling to finish school and staying with my grand parent in my one room apartment. No matter how much I try not to feel it sometimes it just gets to me and make me feel bad. But I suck it up cus I can't complain.

Truth is I am not looking for my dad because of any financial benefits. Am almost done with school and the time I would've really needed him is past. I just want to know who my father is and at least call someone the name dad and stop me from having this emotional trauma.

Now she's been trying under pressure to see me through the university after I managed to get admission.

Please good people of Nairaland. I am confused and I need help on how to go about this, I just need to know who my dad is. He's still alive and living with his family in lagos but I don't even no where in lagos and no one would give me any concrete info about him.

Please anyone with any vital information on how I can reach him or how to go about this should pls contact me through this number 08032782297.

I have read threads on how people where able to find help in similar case like this here on nairaland and I believe I would do the same. This is the only reason am doing this.

Please mod help push this to front page so it can get to the right persons please.

Thank you very much and God bless you all.

I hope criminals on NL won't take advantage of your posting your no there...
Some may even pretend they are your dad...please be careful..
what u need to do is simple..try locate any member of his family and you will get to him
You can locate his family by tracing his root.... let your mum tell you any of hia friend she knows or where he lives ..go to the house where he lives and ask about him...
maybe your mum didn't tell his present husband about you , so you embarrass her each time ..or she is still psychologically anoid ..but ask her about your observations...

One funny thing. Aint sure ur fada z on NL. Nd also aint sure if an NLander knws or av seen ur fada... Why dnt u jst try anoda site.. Facebook!! He might be on fb u knw.. Almst 30million 9jirians ar there

/
Your case is very easy. Take a bus to Omoku village, go to Onita family and ask them about Oputa and Ikechukwu. Talk to an elder. Go with a friend. Most importantly, go in a very nice ride and pretend that you are rich. And whoever gives you the most promising answers, give him N5k...you have just bribed yourself into getting good intels/feedback from that source.

There will always be someone who knows something in the village.

\

wao these are all heart touching real life stories. May God help you bro.

It should make you more determined than ever to do better for yourself. Don't blame anyone for your predicament or compare yourself with anyone, not even your brothers.

Be determined to make it so much that even your brothers and your dad would want to be associated with you.

Keep pushing!

buoye1:
I don't have to type any thing again you just did all what was on my mind...

Mr... Get rich/successful and see the wonders of how both your mum and Dad will Search everywhere for you ....Good luck bro

Dude, money is not everything. His feeling is very natural. He has missed the love of his parents, their rushing back when he's rich won't plug that hole.

In the African setting, a man belongs to his dad's home. No matter who brought him up. A big part of his identity is missing.

Let me relate what happened a while ago. A friend of mine died about two years back. He had a baby with his ex-wife. Things didn't work out and the woman sought divorce. Even though it was the lady who shamefully messed up big time.

Despite his enormous heartbreak, he sought to be there for the child. But the Western lady (this is in diaspora) frustrated all his efforts and kept the kid away. She even fabricated domestic violence to keep him away. But Caucasian neighbours in flats around them said they never heard raised voices in their flat over the years, let alone violence. They all said my friend was a real gentleman. She kept fabricating things.

I think she was & is determined to ensure her child never finds out about her shameful/scandalous behaviour while still married to the dad.

Then work took my friend to another country. Over time, the guy just hoped the ex will change her mind and allow contact. But no way.

I was at an event a few weeks ago and bumped into this lady. I was shocked to hear that she never heard that her ex had died. Or that he had moved to another country to work for years. Let alone that he had a wife and kids after remarrying.

I stopped asking my friend about 5 years after the divorce because each time I did, he felt very sad about the divorce and bad experience.

Now, my worry is what kind of lies has she been feeding that child? How will the child now be seeing African men?

The child probably believes the dad is right there in same city & never cares. Even though he moved abroad a decade ago & and is over 2 years dead. Would she even tell the child that the dad is dead?

How will this affect the child now entering the teenage years? And even as a grown up?

Note: I deliberately used "the" instead of him or her to ensure some anonymity for the child.

Dude don't relent in your search. Do. everything possible to locate him. There are three sides to every story and if lucky enough you find him, hearing his own side will answer many questions aching your heart and give you peace. Ignore all these pessimists telling you to move on without a fight.

This is really touching. I don't see a reason why someone would get a lady pregnant and wants the innocent child aborted and when the abortion wasn't successful, decides to abandon the child. That's totally inhuman. Why get someone pregnant when you're not ready to face the responsibilities that comes with it. God have mercy on us. BTW, I think your mum has some explaining to do to you as well cos she might be the cause of all these.

ogochukwu247:
Op sorry to say, ur mother is wicked!!

My sis is 34yrs now ooo..

Wat am I saying ur mum should have be able to show u off that u are her first fruit!!

Imagine if ur father want to meet you, he would hav come since bro!!

Gbam! You just said what most are not willing to say. The pain a mum goes through to bear a child is enough to love the child unconditionally.
Even the Ese Orurus & Chibok girls of this world still love their kids.

Although one appreciates her trauma at the time.

But How true is it that the dad's family are aware? I narrated a late friend's kid's case in my previous post on this thread.

Fb & other SM platforms are awash with people seeking their dads. The common denominator is that their mum lied to them. Hid letters from their dads, some were letters sent over a period of 10 to 20 years.

The truth often comes out after the woman dies. They open her bag or drawer and see like 50 letters from kid's dad sent around 20-40 years ago. But hidden from the kid. But some women just destroy the letters & kids never find out even after her death.

My guy, you are a child of destiny. The fact that your mom and Dad tried all they could to get rid of you, but could not, while you were in the womb should have told both of them something great lies ahead of you.
I know of a certain family with about 7 kids, when the 7th child was in the womb, the man and the wife did all they could to get rid of the child, because they had lean financial resources that could not cater for a 7th child,but they could not. Today, that 7th child is the pillar of the family as he works in a big oil and gas firm and has been able to set up his other siblings financially and his parents are very glad that his destiny was not terminated from the womb.
If you go searching for your Dad and meet rejection, do not be dismayed, but hold onto God for he will help you discover your destiny and God ordained path of life; you might eventually become the chief cornerstone of the family, which was initially rejected by the builders.

To everyone asking the OP to move on, have you ever considered the fact that OP will someday get married? Isn't it right for him to know his half-siblings? Should he meet a girl now and have an amorous relationship with her only to find out she's his sister, how does he deal with that? To OP, try every means possible to find him. Try the Radio stations and popular blogs. I wish you the very best. It is better to find him and get rejected than not trying and not knowing what would have happened. Be strong bro and good luck.

Dude move on with your life!!!

officialmcfresh1:
In few months i'll be 29years but am yet to know who my biological father is. I'm a 400level student of university of port harcourt from omoku in rivers state atleast so I was told by my grand parents.

I was told my mum was dating my dad and she got pregnant then they both decided to abort the baby, they went to a native doctor who helped them with native drugs she took severely but the pregnancy could not be aborted. My mum almost died in this process, it was then her dad heard about it and took her to the hospital where she was taken care of.

Well. The baby was born (me). My grand dad called the family of my dad to come claim their child and take up their responsibility. Unfortunately the night to the day they were supposed to come see my grand day, my dad left to lagos and has never returned to this day.

My mum got married and has 4kids now and her family is doing very well. She left me with my grand parent who raised me. I didn't even know she was my mum till I was grown.

She never care about me from day one. I went through hell to go through primary and secondary school cause her dad is very old and wasn't working.

I did a lot of things just to survive cause somehow God was just blessing the works of my hands until I decided to go to the university. My mum and her family is well to do in every essence and we live in the same town almost the same street but not in the same house cause I still live at my grand parents house whenever I return from school.

Now my pain is. How do I find out who my dad is. All my mum knows about him is that his name is Mr Oputa Onita from Omoku community in rivers state. When I confronted her about it she told me he has an elder brother by name Mr Ikechukwu Onita and this man was fully aware of what happened but they don't reside her in omoku town and I can't even reach them.

Am living like a stronger in my town cause almost everyone knows about this story so much that I don't feel comfortable even with my younger ones anytime I go visiting.

I don't know how to go about this but I feel it's time I need to fine out who my real father is because I believe I have the right to know. I have never seen him before, not even a picture of what he looks like.

My mum doesn't care about this and she doesn't even care if I exist of not. Someone who can comfortably stay months without calling or hearing from me. Anytime she sees me it's like I make her angry cause she never smiles whenever she see me. Just that sometimes she pretends to smile but we both know we don't have that mother and son connection or relationship which I've in so many ways to bridge the gap but still to no positive output.

All this affects me emotionally but I jut pretend to be okey. This sometimes make me jealous of my younger ones even if I don't desire to be. My immediate younger brother who am older then with about 4years is done with school and is living in a two bedroom apartment, has a car which his dad bought for him while am still struggling to finish school and staying with my grand parent in my one room apartment. No matter how much I try not to feel it sometimes it just gets to me and make me feel bad. But I suck it up cus I can't complain.

Truth is I am not looking for my dad because of any financial benefits. Am almost done with school and the time I would've really needed him is past. I just want to know who my father is and at least call someone the name dad and stop me from having this emotional trauma.

Now she's been trying under pressure to see me through the university after I managed to get admission.

Please good people of Nairaland. I am confused and I need help on how to go about this, I just need to know who my dad is. He's still alive and living with his family in lagos but I don't even no where in lagos and no one would give me any concrete info about him.

Please anyone with any vital information on how I can reach him or how to go about this should pls contact me through this number 08032782297.

I have read threads on how people where able to find help in similar case like this here on nairaland and I believe I would do the same. This is the only reason am doing this.

Please mod help push this to front page so it can get to the right persons please.

Thank you very much and God bless you all.

@Op, I just checked Facebook and saw a certain 'Elizabeth Dike Onita' from Omoku. Search out that name on your Facebook homepage, befriend the lady and tell her you are from Omoku too.
Please dont start by telling her you.are looking for your father as she may become very cautious with you if you do that right away.
Be smart in asking her questions about your father and his family; who knows she might know your Dad personally. Eventually you can reveal your mission to her, goodluck.

Update: Search for 'Patricia Ike Onita' too.

[quote author=Amelian post=45569440]Op i feel what you are going through . Its really sad , and so touching your mum didnt even play her role of a mother to you. Possibly your looks remind her of your dad but its never your fault in whichever way u look.
In God's eyes u are created in his image and with God's love.
Then pertainin to your dad? How would u feel if your dad , after searching for him but refuses to acknowledge u as his son and worse off, refuse to allow his immediate family and wife know that he has a son somewhere, from a relationship in his past.
I say this because, i have an aunt shes the first child of my late mum elder sis. Way back during the civil war, so they said o.. My mum elder sis was in a short relationship with her a man, her dad. Immediately she got pregnant, he denied responsibility and dissappeared into thin air. She then gave birth to my aunt and transffered the child to granny , who took care of her . While my mum sis came to lagos, to start a new life
She got married to a different man, she had five kids for her new husband.. She left my aunt with granny for so many years. Until aunty became an adult, granny told her , her real mum is in lagos. She was heartbroken but she then came to lagos to meet my mum sis, her real mother.
My mum sis was not happy seeing come into her matrimonial home that she has been maintaining for years. But she had to choice than to answer her question. Which is who is my dad and where is he?
My mum sis gave her , after much confrontations, the dad's name and where he stays but warnes her , she may not like the reception she will receive there. She said no problem., as long as hes her dad, he wont be heartless like her .
She went to the address . The secuirity guards at her father's gate asked her who is she looking for? She called her dad's full name.. They asked her, is she on appointment cause he rarely sees strangers without appointments.. She said no appointment but its urgent and life threathening she sees him.
They told her to leave the gate and the premises.. In the midst of arguements, her dad came out, hes a rich old man.. He asked whats the problem, why the noise? She quickly rushed to meet and said shes the daughter of , she mentioned her mother's name and that shes his child way back then.
The way he dragged her to the gate roughly and he snapped at her .. Look i dont know yohr mum or whatever name u called.. So u want to ruin my home right? Thats how u girls without ambition go around looking for rich men to fleece. If u love yur life, i dont want to ever see u here again! What rubbish! Daughter indeed.. Secuirty pls take this lady out of here .. And i dont want to ever see her here again.. Orelse your jobs are over.. My aunt was so stunned as she dragged out of his compound, she cried till she came to.my mum's house to complain and share her pain.. We all felt for her but she has to move on.
Mother does not want her, likewise dad too.. She stayed with us for a while. Before she made up her and relocated to the north to start a new life, away from everyone.
So my dear op, its tough but why stress yourself much on searching for yur dad. If yur dad wants u ,he will search for u all these years.
Be closer to God, He will care for you more than what u can ever imagine.
Relocate from yur area after graduating. God will see u through.
Am an orphan but God is taking good care of me, so well.. That i lack nothing, except my parents love and guidiance when they were still alive.. God bless them.
AFter their deaths, i relocated .. A new life , a new begining... And new friends.
Do the same, hold onto God and see if your past will not be buried as one of those pasts.
Its well with your soul, amen.
[/quote
You have made me speechless.....It's well with you

My friend d best way to find ur dadd if he still alife is to meet any gud pastor that sees vission, unlike T.B JOSHUA. Johnson suleiman and Joshua Iginla. One of dis person will tel u everytin abt ur dadd and make recouncilation betwen u and him. Gudluck

officialmcfresh1:
In few months i'll be 29years but am yet to know who my biological father is. I'm a 400level student of university of port harcourt from omoku in rivers state atleast so I was told by my grand parents.

I was told my mum was dating my dad and she got pregnant then they both decided to abort the baby, they went to a native doctor who helped them with native drugs she took severely but the pregnancy could not be aborted. My mum almost died in this process, it was then her dad heard about it and took her to the hospital where she was taken care of.

Well. The baby was born (me). My grand dad called the family of my dad to come claim their child and take up their responsibility. Unfortunately the night to the day they were supposed to come see my grand day, my dad left to lagos and has never returned to this day.

My mum got married and has 4kids now and her family is doing very well. She left me with my grand parent who raised me. I didn't even know she was my mum till I was grown.

She never care about me from day one. I went through hell to go through primary and secondary school cause her dad is very old and wasn't working.

I did a lot of things just to survive cause somehow God was just blessing the works of my hands until I decided to go to the university. My mum and her family is well to do in every essence and we live in the same town almost the same street but not in the same house cause I still live at my grand parents house whenever I return from school.

Now my pain is. How do I find out who my dad is. All my mum knows about him is that his name is Mr Oputa Onita from Omoku community in rivers state. When I confronted her about it she told me he has an elder brother by name Mr Ikechukwu Onita and this man was fully aware of what happened but they don't reside her in omoku town and I can't even reach them.

Am living like a stronger in my town cause almost everyone knows about this story so much that I don't feel comfortable even with my younger ones anytime I go visiting.

I don't know how to go about this but I feel it's time I need to fine out who my real father is because I believe I have the right to know. I have never seen him before, not even a picture of what he looks like.

My mum doesn't care about this and she doesn't even care if I exist of not. Someone who can comfortably stay months without calling or hearing from me. Anytime she sees me it's like I make her angry cause she never smiles whenever she see me. Just that sometimes she pretends to smile but we both know we don't have that mother and son connection or relationship which I've in so many ways to bridge the gap but still to no positive output.

All this affects me emotionally but I jut pretend to be okey. This sometimes make me jealous of my younger ones even if I don't desire to be. My immediate younger brother who am older then with about 4years is done with school and is living in a two bedroom apartment, has a car which his dad bought for him while am still struggling to finish school and staying with my grand parent in my one room apartment. No matter how much I try not to feel it sometimes it just gets to me and make me feel bad. But I suck it up cus I can't complain.

Truth is I am not looking for my dad because of any financial benefits. Am almost done with school and the time I would've really needed him is past. I just want to know who my father is and at least call someone the name dad and stop me from having this emotional trauma.

Now she's been trying under pressure to see me through the university after I managed to get admission.

Please good people of Nairaland. I am confused and I need help on how to go about this, I just need to know who my dad is. He's still alive and living with his family in lagos but I don't even no where in lagos and no one would give me any concrete info about him.

Please anyone with any vital information on how I can reach him or how to go about this should pls contact me through this number 08032782297.

I have read threads on how people where able to find help in similar case like this here on nairaland and I believe I would do the same. This is the only reason am doing this.

Please mod help push this to front page so it can get to the right persons please.

Thank you very much and God bless you all.

First you need to get all the vital informations about him. Where she met him, Where he schooled where she last saw him. occupations of his parents, the church or mosque he attended then, the landmarks in the area he and your mum lived back then. Search his names on Google, who knows you might just be lucky.
contact some state or national Tv stations and if your mother still have a picture of him it will help a Great deal.

Lastly, pray hard about it for God intervene and bring you two together.


All the best.

This one pass me , let's wait for the elders

Topro:
It should make you more determined than ever to do better for yourself. Don't blame anyone for your predicament or compare yourself with anyone, not even your brothers.

Be determined to make it so much that even your brothers and your dad would want to be associated with you.

Keep pushing!

PLEASE DEAR DO NOT ALLOW THE SEARCH FOR YOUR DAD BRINGS SETBACKS TO YOUR EDUCATION, FOCUS AND MAKE GOOD GRADES. THAT IS YOUR WEAPON OF VICTORY.

LIFE IS A PHASE. THERE ARE PEOPLE GOD BRINGS ACROSS YOUR WAY. THEY FADE AWAY WHEN THEIR TENURE ENDS. AS THEY LEAVE OTHER FILL THE VACUUM. YOUR ARE A CHILD OF DESTINY AND THE GRACE OF IS UPON YOU.
ASK YOUR MOTHER WHY THEY BOTH INITIALY AGREE TO TERNINATE THE PREGANACY? SEEK TO KNOW THE RELATIONSHIPS OF BOTH FAMILY.
I BELIEVE YOUR MOTHER AND GRAND MOTHER HAS THE KEY TO YOUR ENDLESS SEARCH. IN OMOKU, CLASS PLAYS SIGNIFICANT ROLES IN ASSOCIATION.
HOWEVER, YOUR FATHER WILL RECEIVE YOU WITH OPEN ARMS.
GOODLUCK.

tie your granny to the ceiling. let his voice tremble. now call your mother on the phone give the phone to your granny to speak to her.telling her you want to know your father. if she try and make rescue attempt tell her she will lose her parents. then see how she will give you full details.