₦airaland Forum

This evening my husband came back from work and told me his mother is coming over from Benin to our home in Lagos next week. I was shocked at his rush decision without prior discussions with me.

Although, he had planned bringing her to come visit us becos she not visited us since we got married a year ago. so as to be sure , I asked my husband how look she will be staying and he started shouting at me; calling me names and saying his mother can come and stay in his house for as long as she wants . then, I reminded him DAT its not wise telling his mother to come and stay with us for as long as she likes knowing that we are just a newly married couple April this year made it 1year we got married.

pls I'm worried abt my mother inlaw coming to stay with us for as long as she likes the especially when I remember she is Edo while I'm Igbo.

pls wot do I do

My prayer for you this new month is common Sense in Jesus Name. Amen. Receive Sense

edo women no dey like ibos at all ... my sist let her come .. dey treat her Nicely and tolerate her to d nearest minimum.. God will help u

op did you steal her son? obviously not. I suggest u keep calm, don't allow too many assumptions from home videos get the best of ur reasonings OK.

see how you are cuasing uneccessarry drama for yourself so what if you ibo and she's edo, edo women don't bite or kill people in their sleep after all you met her before marrying her son try keep an open mind be nice to her , take it a day at a time and You better remove this tribe sentiments from your head before it over shadows you and above all pray and ask God for wisdom. # peace#

u didn't know she's Edo before u married her son right? nne negodu

It's not right for your inlaw to live with you, especially when you jst got married a year ago. What about privacy? When you and your husband are having a quarrel the inlaw will now join the quarrel. It's not right my dear. Anything that you and your partner are involved in, your inlaw is also involved to, Godforbid bad tin. Tufiakwa! *spits*

[color=#006600][/color] buh one week notice is ok now.plus, mayb u din ask ur hubby in a nice way..keep an open mind,jus be nice.

OEmiohe:
This evening my husband came back from work and told me his mother is coming over from Benin to our home in Lagos next week. I was shocked at his rush decision without prior discussions with me.

Although, he had planned bringing her to come visit us becos she not visited us since we got married a year ago. so as to be sure , I asked my husband how look she will be staying and he started shouting at me; calling me names and saying his mother can come and stay in his house for as long as she wants . then, I reminded him DAT its not wise telling his mother to come and stay with us for as long as she likes knowing that we are just a newly married couple April this year made it 1year we got married.

pls I'm worried abt my mother inlaw coming to stay with us for as long as she likes the especially when I remember she is Edo while I'm Igbo.

pls wot do I do

First of all, is it possible that since you believe she won't like you, you might have asked him in a way that made it look as if she's not welcome in your home? That may be why he went on the defensive and started shouting.

All the same He should have discussed it with you first.
And also set a time frame for her visit instead of shouting at you. The house does not belong to him alone.

Anyway respect and welcome her as she comes. Be a courteous hostess.

She can't however stay as long as she likes. Because your husband shouted at you does not mean you cower and swallow your resentment.

let him know it's not okay.
If he wanted to live with his mom indefinitely, he shouldn't have gotten married.

OP... Thirty years from now... you want to visit your married son... and he tells you... "mama... you can't visit because my wife thinks you can't live with us..."

how would you react...?!

This is the problem with most women... they won't take what they dish out...

And I know what your fear is... but deep down... if you've no skeleton in your cupboard... why should a MiL scare you...?! maybe you don't know how to cook... maybe you're lazy... you sound like all this modern plastic make up women that are around like freecocoa and cococandy...

I won't advise you... couple matter to me nah "eh yah..."

I'm very sure he shouted on you because he might have discovered that you don't like hearing about his mother which is bad. And am sure that's why he did not discuss her coming with you.
You married to a family for one year now and you are yet to see your mother in law? That doesn't speak good of you given the fact that you didn't mention anything the woman did to you.
Many years from now, you will be in her shoes so treat her the way you will want your daughter in law treat you.

You see, this is the reason why I discourage inter tribal marriage. sorry dear, just manage the woman.

Major bone of contention is that she is Edo and you are Igbo, huh
Get off and entertain your visitor please. Once you start giving people tags of MIL, SIL, BIL, FIL the usual prejudice will start crawling out of the woodworks. She is an esteemed visitor that should be made comfortable at all time irrespective of how long she stays. You would like your SIL to do same to your mother, am I right?
Do not see that woman as a demon see her as a mother, infact call her to inform her of the local things you will like her to bring to Lagos. Extend your hands in fellowship to her and watch your husband hang himself ( metaphorically speaking) in respectful awe.

Why are you so worked up? Ain't you in good terms with his mother? With the kinda disposition you have, I really doubt if both of you can stay peacefully. .. You're already harbouring some negative thoughts even before the woman's arrival. .. What has tribe got to do with people's personality? Except you have some issues with your MIL which you ain't telling us?

You obviously responded negatively to your husband, that's why he went all defensive. ..

About her duration of stay being undefined, discuss with your husband (not argue) and reach a conclusion. ..
You really have to put up a positive mindset especially as the woman hasn't done anything to you. .. all the best..

Time for you to go and shop and stock the house with food and other things for your visitor coming. Try not to be biased. Have an open mind, and try to make the most of her stay. See the positives in it. She will help you cook local dishes you're not used to cooking. Jsut try to make her as comfortable as you can, be ready to be her gist partner ,and just put in extra effort to get to know her.
Your husband will be pleased to see you getting along with his mum. I however hope she reciprocates your gesture

Meanwhile, forget the issue of tribe, as that will further cloud your judgement. Haven't you heard of in-laws of the same tribe causing serious problems for themselves?

Vickyydera:
You see, this is the reason why I discourage inter tribal marriage. sorry dear, just manage the woman.

Manage who?
Did she mention anything the woman did to her?
She has not given herself the chance to even know the kind of person the MIL is and you are already telling her to manage. Are you sure it's not the woman that will manage her?

OP, it's clear you already have a mindset about this woman and that's just very bad as far as I'm concerned.

Why can't she stay as long as she likes, if it/she won't be a problem? If she were your mum, would you be this worked up over it?

SirVintageCock:
Major bone of contention is that she is Edo and you are Igbo, huh
Get off and entertain your visitor please. Once you start giving people tags of MIL, SIL, BIL, FIL the usual prejudice will start crawling out of the woodworks. She is an esteemed visitor that should be made comfortable at all time irrespective of how long she stays. You would like your SIL to do same to your mother, am I right?
Do not see that woman as a demon see her as a mother, infact call her to inform her of the local things you will like her to bring to Lagos. Extend your hands in fellowship to her and watch your husband hang himself ( metaphorically speaking) in respectful awe.

If only she will listen. Though some ladies here will call her a weakling if she tries that.

Nne,wetuo obi.
You are not just finding out she is from Edo state,so why the sudden fear?Be courteous when she comes and try to enjoy your time with her.
I hope your fear is not that she's coming to stare at your belly.

OEmiohe:
I reminded him DAT its not wise telling his mother to come and stay with us for as long as she likes knowing that we are just a newly married couple April this year made it 1year we got married.


pls I'm worried abt my mother inlaw coming to stay with us for as long as she likes the especially when I remember she is Edo while I'm Igbo.

pls wot do I do

So ur husband is foolish and you are the one who is to tell him when it is wise for him to see his mother in his house. eh? after Onr YEAR and 3 MONTHS of marriage. u have not told us what u are hiding.

and you wise woman. u know how long u should be married before your husbands mama come to visit. please educate us.

i wish she stays for up to 6moths.

Uramzi:
My prayer for you this new month is common Sense in Jesus Name. Amen. Receive Sense

Amen Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! !

Hopefully mama go consider una go back to her boo soon, relax biko .

See them


Witches from the coven.

Your husband told you his mom would visit in the coming week, so what is urgent or shocking about that? Today is Wednesday so why the shock?
It shows you do not have a good relationship with your MIL.

I do not think the woman is coming over with her entire household and luggage so CHILL!

I would equally shout at you if I were in your husband's shoes. Haba! The woman neva come, you don dey ask about her exit plan.

I don't know about other men, but no woman can dissociate me from my family. I won't do same to her either. Draw your parents and parent-in-laws closer, marriage is not a prison or a war where you run away from terrorists. You're in a marriage, not a refugee or IDP camp. Haba

Only one thing you must do.

Be nice to her. That's all.

Nne no need to worry,relax. A good mother will not even stay for long as she can't wait to go back to her farm,goats and chickens. She knows you need the space so just welcome her with love. Most times we cause problems for ourselves by solving a problem that has not existed.

All these things you people are saying does not make any atom of sense. Some people love their privacy, their marriage is still young,you dont expect her mother in law to come and stay as long as she wants without saying when she will go,for a young marriage to work keep parents always,they are good at fueling minds..
if am the op I won't feel comfortable cos these mil sabi find fault.

Blade21:
see how you are cuasing uneccessarry drama for yourself so what if you ibo and she's edo, edo women don't bite or kill people in their sleep after all you met her before marrying her son try keep an open mind be nice to her , take it a day at a time and You better remove this tribe sentiments from your head before it over shadows you and above all pray and ask God for wisdom. # peace#

God bless you sire. The woman hasn't come yet she is already seeing her as a threat. And to top it all she is busy saying she is Igbo the woman is Edo. wasn't it the same Edo woman that accepted her as her DIL? @op be at peace with yourself and you will have peace.

Three ways to a mans heart

Lovemaking, food and treating his people right

When you are firmly seated in a mans heart, the rest is easy

Actually 4 ways

Add don't kill his ego to the list.

Thank me later

OEmiohe:
This evening my husband came back from work and told me his mother is coming over from Benin to our home in Lagos next week. I was shocked at his rush decision without prior discussions with me.

Although, he had planned bringing her to come visit us becos she not visited us since we got married a year ago. so as to be sure , I asked my husband how look she will be staying and he started shouting at me; calling me names and saying his mother can come and stay in his house for as long as she wants . then, I reminded him DAT its not wise telling his mother to come and stay with us for as long as she likes knowing that we are just a newly married couple April this year made it 1year we got married.

pls I'm worried abt my mother inlaw coming to stay with us for as long as she likes the especially when I remember she is Edo while I'm Igbo.

pls wot do I do

Madam, you are a snake. You created this same topic with a different handle not long ago. The only difference is that this one left out the fight you had with your neighbour and interview you had that made u stranded in which you called your husband but he couldn't help you out.

Plus how you claim they might conspire against you cos u are igbo and they are from Edo.

Because people didn't tell you what you want to hear, u created another handle and a new thread.

If I were your husband know your thought towards my own mother isn't friendly or pure, be sure you are leaving my house.

WTF are these creepy things men keep in their houses as wives?

Listen and Listen good, that woman has as much right as a mother should have and she can stay as LONG as she wants. If you have a problem with that, you can go stay in your parents house until the dear woman has left.

You lots fail to remember that you are a woman just like same mother in law you detest so much and you will grow old to become someone's mother in law in the future.

I know I am loving at heart, I have a kind heart towards human BUT God know I won't take nonsense from any woman who wouldn't co-ordinate her affairs by creating problem where non existed.

The mother in law hasn't even stayed in the house, you are already panicking rubbish!

This is why I hate coming around this section because too many wives hate their mother in law.

And I just hate to see disgusting things being said towards a "mother", it does not matter if the said person is my mother or not, I won't standby and watch you ladies on here speak ill of a mother; they deserve al the love they can get.

iPopAlomo:
OP... Thirty years from now... you want to visit your married son... and he tells you... "mama... you can't visit because my wife thinks you can't live with us..."

how would you react...?!

This is the problem with most women... they won't take what they dish out...

And I know what your fear is... but deep down... if you've no skeleton in your cupboard... why should a MiL scare you...?! maybe you don't know how to cook... maybe you're lazy... you sound like all this modern plastic make up women that are around like freecocoa and cococandy...

I won't advise you... couple matter to me nah "eh yah..."

hian, wetin concern freecocoa and cococandy for this one na. Abeg leave my freecocoa out of this one sha. I like that lady die

Vickyydera:
All these things you people are saying does not make any atom of sense. Some people love their privacy, their marriage is still young,you dont expect her mother in law to come and stay as long as she wants without saying when she will go,for a young marriage to work keep parents always,they are good at fueling minds..
if am the op I won't feel comfortable cos these mil sabi find fault.

You better adjust your reasoning because you don't even realise you will be a MIL in the future. Just know that some folks don't joke with their mothers. Someone like me won't take SHIIIT from any woman who sees no good in my mom.