₦airaland Forum

My people please help me make a decision.

I have this uncle and aunt that i used to live with, when i first moved to Lagos. They were very hostile towards me. Even their children were very disrespectful to me because they watched their parents treat me badly. One faithful day a family friend of visited, saw me and asked about my educational background, i told him that i had graduated but was still job hunting. All i had was a job as a sales person at a nearby super mart. He then told me to send my CV to him through my uncle, since he had connections in one of the well established banks in Nigeria. I was excited and hopeful, so i sent my CV to my uncle to a day after that.

After 5 months of not seeing or hearing anything from him i lost hope thinking it was (send me your CV but do nothing to help you relative). Thankfully i met this family friend 5 months later at a church convention and was really reluctant to greet him (Thank God i greeted him sha). So he asked me how i was doing and if i had secured a job yet. I told him i was still doing the same job as the last time. Then he went on to tell me how unserious i was as i did not send my CV as requested(it happened that my uncle did not send my CV). He also said that my uncle said that i am not efficient or trust worthy. Hence all of these discouraged him from helping me. Then i told him about my experience in that house.

To cut the long story short........... i am now working at a well established Nigerian bank, with the help of the family friend. I moved out of the house after i got the job. I am even married too. All is going well with me.

The issue now is...........my uncle's disrespectful daughter just finished OND and needs a place for IT. She and her parents contacted me to help her since i have connections. As a matter of fact they expect me to automatically help her. But i haven't forgotten what they did to me some years back and i am still very unhappy with them

I am now at a crossroad....... SHOULD I HELP HER OR NOT? PLEASE YOUR ADVICE.

EllaNkay:
My people please help me make a decision.

I have this uncle and aunt that i used to live with, when i first moved to Lagos. They were very hostile towards me. Even their children were very disrespectful to me because they watched their parents treat me badly. One faithful day a family friend of visited, saw me and asked about my educational background, i told him that i had graduated but was still job hunting. All i had was a job as a sales person at a nearby super mart. He then told me to send my CV to him through my uncle, since he had connections in one of the well established banks in Nigeria. I was excited and hopeful, so i sent my CV to my uncle to a day after that.

After 5 months of not seeing or hearing anything from him i lost hope thinking it was (send me your CV but do nothing to help you relative). Thankfully i met this family friend 5 months later at a church convention and was really reluctant to greet him (Thank God i greeted him sha). So he asked me how i was doing and if i had secured a job yet. I told him i was still doing the same job as the last time. Then he went on to tell me how unserious i was as i did not send my CV as requested(it happened that my uncle did not send my CV). He also said that my uncle said that i am not efficient or trust worthy. Hence all of these discouraged him from helping me. Then i told him about my experience in that house.

To cut the long story short........... i am now working at a well established Nigerian bank, with the help of the family friend. I moved out of the house after i got the job. I am even married too. All is going well with me.

The issue now is...........my uncle's disrespectful daughter just finished OND and needs a place for IT. She and her parents contacted me to help her since i have connections. As a matter of fact they expect me to automatically help her. But i haven't forgotten what they did to me some years back and i am still very unhappy with them

I am now at a crossroad....... SHOULD I HELP HER OR NOT? PLEASE YOUR ADVICE.

Help her. The shame will be on her. Do not be like them. It will bring more blessings to you.

Help forget about what they did to you some years back just know that everything that happened to you is for a reason

Help her if you can and forget, still maintain a good distance from them.

You people saying help, help, una think say e dey easy to forgive and forget abi?

EllaNkay, if you're going to help, help at a distance

They will not appreciate whatever you do, so don't bend over backwards for them. They still have a sense of entitlement. Also try to not let her stay/live with you.

If you must, collect her CV and submit to relevant positions.

Even though we shouldn't repay evil with evil, one has to be wise when dealing with evil people.

Submit the cv. That's all, don't do more than that. Don't even mention to the HR people you know her, simply pass it on. That is all you owe anyone. If they ask, tell them you sent it off and she will have to be patient and wait for a call, like any other candidate. You have no power over whom your company hires.
You won't be the first in this situation and everyone else who decided to play charitable Christian and forgive with open arms ended up regretting it. People rarely change and people rarely feel ashamed. Shame is an emotion that makes them feel uncomfortable, so you best believe they won't indulge it on your behalf. Infact, they feel you ought to be grateful you were in their house and met that man. In their minds, they "made" you.

Dats to show dem dat no condition is permanent, no one knows 2moro. Try and forgive even tho I no it's not easy to 4get, so u can b free with urself and b happy. Life is 2 short 2 waste on grudges. Assist her if u can but try and eat with dem with a long spoon BC human beings re chameleon dey can change

Hmmmm, dicey situation...

It's an IT placement she wants, the best you can do is ask her to come personally to the bank and drop off her application for it.
I would have asked that you go the extra mile by recommending her, but who are we kidding...that may be difficult considering the hurt you're carrying around.

There are people we should genuinely go all the way for, some people actually deserve it and truth is, a lot of us wouldn't be where we are today if someone didn't use their 'connections' to the last digit.


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Come to think of it, how about you just invite the girl in question to come see you so you can do what I usually call 'a coded personality assessment'... This way you can judge her on her character in the now as against her disrespectful attitude in the past which may have been influenced by her parents' treatment of you.
This might just be nature's way of testing your goodwill.