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My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Akaujaa(m): 10:53pm On Sep 18, 2016
oyomii:
She probably used to eat late while she was at her parents' and got used to it. I think the threat thing might work bt u guys shl'd talk abt it sha. And pray too grin

Seems like a familiar face in Asaba.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by millhouse: 10:54pm On Sep 18, 2016
Hi
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by ohenhen1: 10:54pm On Sep 18, 2016
Have a serious talk with her. Maybe start dinner early.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Reference(m): 10:55pm On Sep 18, 2016
Huston1:

She doesnt cook food everyday. When she knows she isngoing to make a meal that wont take much of her time, then she will not start early at all. Even when i remind her that it is getting late, she will tell me something like "Is it not just to make eba" but when she eventually gets into the kitchen she starts doing other things. Maybe that is when she will realise the kids will not eat eba and start frying plantain for them, or she will tell me she checked the soup and found there is no "Kpomo" or fish again because I dont like beef. Then she will start making jollof rice or something. She actually does a lot of things to make me happy. The timing is what I am not comfortable with. I have told her many a time she doesnt have respect for time. Anytime we have to get ready together and go out, I will tell her to start getting ready 2hrs before the time. She doesnt even make up. But we will still get to the place late. I go angry to church every sunday because even if she wakes up by 6am for a service of 9:30am, we still get to church late. I dont know what to do anymore. Whenever i talk to her, she makes adjustment for only few days and she is back to her old self. In the area of food, I feel I will make her feel bad if I start eating out but I dont know how to remedy this I am in. I will not forget to mention that she is a very nice wife and mother and very respectful. My family and friends like her. But this shortcoming of not respecting time is what I dont like. And you should all know that a woman who doesnt have respect for time is very untidy. And of course she is. I actually knew all these before I married her but I thought I can work on her and change these about her. Is this a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life because she doesnt compliment me the area of tideness and being timely. She scores Zero in being clean and timely. I employed someone who comes to clean my house everyday and wash too. I will not fail to mention that I still love her and she loves me with her life. She is very LOYAL, Caring, pretty, kindhearted and receptive. Family and friends enjoy her company. If she is not around, they misses her. I wish she can make little adjustment in these two areas of respecting time and being clean. There is nothing to write home about her in these two areas. I am always angry.

Well, oga, na your cross. You don buy market. Be cautious about trying to change her personality. You could unravel the whole package and throw away the baby with the bath water. Your health is going to suffer later in life but....isn't it for better and for worse... in sickness and in health...

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by bellenornor(f): 10:56pm On Sep 18, 2016
Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.
There's no harm in helping out in the kitchen or better still, u guys should fetch a house help #shikina
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nobody: 10:57pm On Sep 18, 2016
sorry.
stop eating her food.


Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Tvegas(m): 10:58pm On Sep 18, 2016
Onegai:

Aww man. I thought about it, it is a family thing. Habits die hard but this can be changed. But it is wrong for the kids to be eating so late and they should have an early bedtime. You have to force her to see it's affecting her productivity as a Hot lady, a Wife and a Mother. She's not spending time with you. And if she's going to bed so late, your sexx life will be out of sync. Do 3 weeks of takeout food for you and the children. If you really want to look for trouble and make things change faster, get your mother to come stay for the 3 weeks and instruct your mother to please enter the kitchen and prepare food for you and the children once mealtimes are here and she's taking her time grin. Be prepared for the fight that ensues but calmly and lovingly maintain your ground:

Your advise is good but the bolded is an error. Never involve your mother or any 3rd party in family affairs . You may set them against each other and thats digging the grave of that marriage.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by kingPhidel(m): 11:01pm On Sep 18, 2016
Hmmm.. blame telemundo,zeeworld and Africa magic.. don't subscribe your decorder, if you she didn't change. then collect her phone that brows and give her Nokia tourch light it may help.. wink
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Reference(m): 11:05pm On Sep 18, 2016
nma24:
Hire a cook or let her prepare the food in large quantity and store in d freezer. Must you indicate that she's jobless? You think its easy to manage the home? You don't even have a problem. We are complaining about the increasing price of rice and u are here complaining about late dinner

See them....Are proper meals not part of home management. The lady is lucky the man is seeking advice. Some will just go out and capitulate to the attractions of timely takeaways....with a lot of spice and even nightcaps by the side wink

1 Like

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by lonelydora: 11:06pm On Sep 18, 2016
byvan03:
Just start coming home with takeaway pack, eat and go to bed. She will get the message.

Gbam. I do this whenever she makes me angry and want her to apologize, not because she cooks dinner late.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Reference(m): 11:08pm On Sep 18, 2016
bellenornor:

There's no harm in helping out in the kitchen or better still, u guys should fetch a house help #shikina

Are these solutions. He is asking for solutions and you are giving him multiple additional tasks. What manner of counselor are thou?
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by DrP2000(m): 11:08pm On Sep 18, 2016
Huston1:

She is good at putting off the cooker or reduce it in the process of cooking. I don't know why. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen and increase it. I have visited her family house and this is the same thing there. Breakfast is 11am in her family house. The annoying part is that you see her mom busy in the kitchen but the food is never out. The few times I slept in her family house, her mom wakes me up at night to say dinner is ready and she apologies for being late. I have watched my wife's mother cook. Sometimes I see her put off the cooker too. Washes plates and clean the kitchen up to 5 times before she finishes cooking. I don't really know how to work on my wife. This whole thing is affecting my kids too because they have to stay awake to eat before they go to bed. The worse part is that myself and my wife don't eat together most times because at the time she dishes my food, she goes back to kitchen to clean up. Sometimes when I wake up by 12 midnight or past twice, I see her in the parlor eating and watching Nigeria movie. Many times I force her to bed because she can actually stay awake till 1am


Bros eeeee, Hmmm
Your wife need very strict measures if not she won't change, this is your home not her parents home, that her Dad condoned it, is not the reason that you too should. So wake up from your dreams, she can change but it will require a lot from you. DISCIPLINE AND STERN RULES with little incentives/pampering, if not your children will follow her footstep.
A stitch in time saves nine

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by vislabraye(m): 11:12pm On Sep 18, 2016
Huston1:

She doesnt cook food everyday. When she knows she isngoing to make a meal that wont take much of her time, then she will not start early at all. Even when i remind her that it is getting late, she will tell me something like "Is it not just to make eba" but when she eventually gets into the kitchen she starts doing other things. Maybe that is when she will realise the kids will not eat eba and start frying plantain for them, or she will tell me she checked the soup and found there is no "Kpomo" or fish again because I dont like beef. Then she will start making jollof rice or something. She actually does a lot of things to make me happy. The timing is what I am not comfortable with. I have told her many a time she doesnt have respect for time. Anytime we have to get ready together and go out, I will tell her to start getting ready 2hrs before the time. She doesnt even make up. But we will still get to the place late. I go angry to church every sunday because even if she wakes up by 6am for a service of 9:30am, we still get to church late. I dont know what to do anymore. Whenever i talk to her, she makes adjustment for only few days and she is back to her old self. In the area of food, I feel I will make her feel bad if I start eating out but I dont know how to remedy this I am in. I will not forget to mention that she is a very nice wife and mother and very respectful. My family and friends like her. But this shortcoming of not respecting time is what I dont like. And you should all know that a woman who doesnt have respect for time is very untidy. And of course she is. I actually knew all these before I married her but I thought I can work on her and change these about her. Is this a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life because she doesnt compliment me the area of tideness and being timely. She scores Zero in being clean and timely. I employed someone who comes to clean my house everyday and wash too. I will not fail to mention that I still love her and she loves me with her life. She is very LOYAL, Caring, pretty, kindhearted and receptive. Family and friends enjoy her company. If she is not around, they misses her. I wish she can make little adjustment in these two areas of respecting time and being clean. There is nothing to write home about her in these two areas. I am always angry.

Like you said, she has other good sides. If indeed she can't cook food early for you and the kids, buy food outside and eat. By the time you do this repeatedly, she will change. It's a habit. But they say if you do something consistently for 30 days, it becomes a new habit. It only takes discipline and determination. She can unlearn her former habits.
I wanted to suggest hiring a maid to do the cooking. This could be a lot of strain on your purse.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by LuvU2: 11:14pm On Sep 18, 2016
upbringing Just bear it smiley Same way she is bearing too
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by uwagimboo: 11:17pm On Sep 18, 2016
opribo:


No now, if he dated her I mean real dating not Facebook dating O, he should have noticed the signs and then he decided to take the plunge. Now that he has a family what do you expect us to say on Nairaland, for him to pursue his wife, no way he will stay in there and deal with the situation. He is the man after all. So far the woman listens sometimes then there is still hope for remedy.

So u will permit ur daughter to go nd live in a man's house in the name of dating

Abi u no know say dinner nah night food

1 Like

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by princeohiku(m): 11:18pm On Sep 18, 2016
deity:
She can cook the soup,different types every weekend and put them in the freezer, every night she brings the one to be eaten,take a portion and warm,then make the swallow it be eaten with it,I was like that too,because we eat late in my house before I got married, my husband complained too and I justed by doing the above.
For this hard economy different soup and where is the light. Sometimes women can be arrogant.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nobody: 11:19pm On Sep 18, 2016
Reference:


See them....Are proper meals not part of home management. The lady is lucky the man is seeking advice. Some will just go out and capitulate to the attractions of timely takeaways....with a lot of spice and even nightcaps by the side wink
He should manage. We can't have it all
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by sucess001(m): 11:25pm On Sep 18, 2016
Why are you being hard on this poor woman? Is she not a Nigerian? Is she not under Buhari? So why should buhari's attitude not influence her?
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nobody: 11:26pm On Sep 18, 2016
bellenornor:

There's no harm in helping out in the kitchen or better still, u guys should fetch a house help #shikina
[size=15pt] lazy clueless ladies who don't knw anything about marriage or how to keep a husband,, i pity your future husband or husbands cos i don't think one man will be able to keep up with your laziness undecided [/size]

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by oluxy(m): 11:29pm On Sep 18, 2016
Well, we u c some ladies actimg dt way, it could be that is how their brought up in dia fmly. Maybe they eat late night.

That is why I always tell every good men DT, u re d one to change ur wife to what suit you and DT which will suit ur fmly future. Not by violent, no. But through love n strict decisions.

But first try n to help ha out to cook a day in order for a to learn speed while cooking.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by willibounce1(m): 11:29pm On Sep 18, 2016
Bros nor vex oo.. e be like say you na ajebo o. You wan dey chop dinner for 7 or 7:30pm? For this lagos, even if your wife dey live for kitchen.

Omo find something chop for outside to hold belle and when food ready, make you chop. Omo if 10 or 11 pm never nack, man no dey chow oo. Dinner bawo...

But on a serious note, if that is what you want, she needs to change especially for the children. But try make your wife find one job or business to dey do.
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by eddy1212(m): 11:30pm On Sep 18, 2016
she wants the food fresh for you to eat
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nobody: 11:34pm On Sep 18, 2016
Did you two used to plan on what to have the following day? E.g. What to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner before bed time? If yes. Sit her down and ask her what's the marra, why, And what she want you to do for her, did she need assistance?
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nzeh12(m): 11:37pm On Sep 18, 2016
byvan03:
Just start coming home with takeaway pack, eat and go to bed. She will get the message.

Exactly

1 Like

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Medunah: 11:39pm On Sep 18, 2016
Onegai:



Aww man. I thought about it, it is a family thing. Habits die hard but this can be changed. But it is wrong for the kids to be eating so late and they should have an early bedtime. You have to force her to see it's affecting her productivity as a Hot lady, a Wife and a Mother. She's not spending time with you. And if she's going to bed so late, your sexx life will be out of sync. Do 3 weeks of takeout food for you and the children. If you really want to look for trouble and make things change faster, get your mother to come stay for the 3 weeks and instruct your mother to please enter the kitchen and prepare food for you and the children once mealtimes are here and she's taking her time grin.ve!" )
Invite his mother?? Haba!! That's a NO NO.....he should cook himself or go get something for him and the kids to eat, that way, she will change.

Inviting his mother to come Nd start cooking for him when his wife is not sick or some will only brew contempt btw wife and mother in law.

Cos I don't know how you would feel if while u were cooking ur mother in-law enters the kitchen to cook for her son nd kids cos u running late! He shouldn't bring his mother into it biko, it should be between him nd his wife.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nobody: 11:39pm On Sep 18, 2016
Ha! This thread is now on frontpage. Kids will breeze in here and spoil it. gringrin
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by Nobody: 11:40pm On Sep 18, 2016
LuvU2:
upbringing Just bear it smiley Same way she is bearing too
una go sha find way support una self smh
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by lanrex101: 11:41pm On Sep 18, 2016
Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.
Sorry to ask you sir
Do you do your responsibility as a husband?
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by AfroBlue(m): 11:53pm On Sep 18, 2016
Huston1:
Please Nairalanders I need help because I am loosing my patience.
I have been married to my wife for 6years and I have never had dinner before 9PM. Sometimes I'm served dinner past 11pm. My wife doesn't have any job yet. I wake early every day because I have to bath and dress our two kids up in the morning while she makes their breakfast and prepare something for the lunch boxes. I drop the kids at school and go to work from there. I return home before 6pm and dinner is never ready. I have complained and complained and she makes adjustments for two days each time I complain. I got angry at a point and told her I will not eat her food after 7pm. That week, she acted on my instruction and I really ate at 7pm or just before 7:30pm. That is the only week I enjoyed dinner early. I have even developed pot belle due to eating late.
I got home early today and she started picking vegetables to make soup at about 3:30pm. This is 8pm and I still haven't eaten. I am so angry. I really see her busy working in kitchen but I don't know why it takes so long for the food to be ready. Not that she attends to the kids. I assist the kids in their homework and prepare them for bed. I'm very angry. Please advise.


man the _____ up and grow a set of _____s broda! it's not too late grin
Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by bigerboy200: 11:56pm On Sep 18, 2016
oyomii:
She probably used to eat late while she was at her parents' and got used to it. I think the threat thing might work bt u guys shl'd talk abt it sha. And pray too grin
What is it to pray about?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Doesn't Work Yet Dinner Is Never Ready Before 9pm by PreciousBro: 11:59pm On Sep 18, 2016
Your wife has what i call a domestic bad habit.

It started from the bottom now she's with you. grin

Surely,as you already opined, her mom contributed due to former household norms. If you can stay firm at giving some short-time not-to-harsh headship rules that everyone abides by in a way to amend the norms and order of things in your own home,it will foison your position and she'd get use to it.

Ensure to allow such mild rules include and affect the kids positively in order to mask her emotion from getting hurt .(So she wont say you're trying to control her)

Remember,your aim is to create a balanced activity in your house and not scatter things,let her see reasons why they should be so as though you have the interests of all,most especially the kids,at heart.

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