₦airaland Forum

taiiremide:
Thank you so much Gaborone. She took my kids to her parent's house, they're there as I speak, but my mother warned me not to step my foot in their house as they're planning something evil. I know my mother very well, she can never be wrong. I asked my ex wife to bring my kids to eatery atleast to discuss how we're going to take good care of the kids, schooling, shelter, feeding etc. But she and her family insisted I come over to their house if I want to see my kids.

eyinjuege:
But seriously OP, how can your wife just wake up one day and say she's not interested in the marriage again? Just like that
And her parents seem to be in support?

What exactly went wrong in the marriage?
It's such a strange story.

Don't let anyone take advantage of your vulnerability though. If at all you have to go to her parents house to see your children, don't go alone.

Her family may be scared that you would forcefully take the children from her if she meets you alone at an eatery.

taiiremide:
My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.

We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.

She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.

4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.

I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

GAZZUZZ:
You are still a boy, and not yet a man. Your mother influences decisions made in your home, and your wife tells your where to live.

GAZZUZZ:
You are still a boy, and not yet a man. Your mother influences decisions made in your home, and your wife tells your where to live.

sukkot:
bros, simply put, you married the devil. just move on.

she is confused and you are confused too. she wants a real man which you are not. first off you bought a car so you can get a contract and then you sold the car to execute the contract which turned out to be useless. this when her anger started. you are confused bro lol

i would say she is a gold digger but in actuality she is not. she just wants a solid man who can make decisions. you gave her 450 k and she rejected it tells me she is not a gold digger

and then you allowed her to move you to osogbo tells me you are not solid. then she realizes osogbo is crap but in her head she is thinking if i had a solid strong man he woould have talked me out of this foolish idea. instead this mumu moved us to osogbo and now i am regretting it. women want strong men who will talk them out of the useless ideas that crops into their heads all the time lolzzz

hellen93o:
some women are ingrate, am someone else wife also and i am Content wit wot we have, i relocated from Abuja to Osogbo but believe me i dont av Single friend cos my husband dont like it and am d Type of stay in door, my husband still in Abuja do come home once in a month,from my office to House if i av any program in d church i will go from there to my house, so ur wife might av some friends dat teach her bad tins, since u pple just relocated Y cant she just av patience wit u and pray along for things to work well for u both, u even av kids already, am still believing God for d fruit of d womb for 6 years now , and my broda am telling u, i cant leave my husband lailai, cos he's always there for me and i always appreciate him, she will still come back to u just dat some pple are teaching her bad tins, and i also pray for her dat it wont late, just relax ur kids will be fine pls

hellen93o:
some women are ingrate, am someone else wife also and i am Content wit wot we have, i relocated from Abuja to Osogbo but believe me i dont av Single friend cos my husband dont like it and am d Type of stay in door, my husband still in Abuja do come home once in a month,from my office to House if i av any program in d church i will go from there to my house, so ur wife might av some friends dat teach her bad tins, since u pple just relocated Y cant she just av patience wit u and pray along for things to work well for u both, u even av kids already, am still believing God for d fruit of d womb for 6 years now , and my broda am telling u, i cant leave my husband lailai, cos he's always there for me and i always appreciate him, she will still come back to u just dat some pple are teaching her bad tins, and i also pray for her dat it wont late, just relax ur kids will be fine pls

sukkot:
exactly, and truth be told, and this is no disrespect to any woman reading this but almost all women are created to be LED. there are a miniscule amount who are created to LEAD but for the most part 99.99999 percent of women are created to be LED. now if you have someone who is created to be LED trying to make decisions for you ? it ends up in confusion. this why this week she wants to move to osogbo, and then 2 weeks later she does not like osogbo and wants to move back to lagos lol. this the type of confusion you will have in your life if you let a woman lead you. a man has to be strong and firm. and truth be told, secretly, even though they would not openly admit to it, most women love a strong firm man. they think its se-xy. it turns women on to have a strong man in their life. they love it. thats what all women secretly want, a strong firm and intelligent man.

baum1:
I will be very happy if you respond to the question below

How did you reach your conclusion? Will be glad to hear a sound argument

taiiremide:
Thank you. God will remember you like Anna, you'll carry your baby soon. Amen.

janellemonae:
Na wa for u o! Ingrate? So u just judged them based on ur own situation because u also moved to osogbo.

Madam ur not in d same situation. They are both jobless & have 2 kids under d age of 3yeàrs. U & ur husband are not jobless & u have no kids yet.

no1madman:
E no dey easy even with income. . . .oyibo people weh start am sef don tire- - -

Amelian:
True words
Only she go waka Come your house, begging for forgiveness.
Your Wife think its easy to train Kids , without any source of income.. Smiles
Just be patient...

alsudaes1:
It may not turn out that way, , ,

she could struggle to take care of them with support from her relatives and friends, but while she is doing that, she won't hesitate to always make the kids understand what she is going through to 'train' them, blaming the situation on their father and doing the African thing : "poisoning the kids' mind against their father" . . . trust me, she wouldn't do anything less than this. . .

Above all, OP should try all means possible with the help of his own relatives to get her and the kids back and continue to 'make' her understand the situation of things, it's a continuous process he shouldn't be tired of doing, its for him, his kids and his wife. . .life is not always a bed of roses. . .

Amelian:
True words Only she go waka Come your house, begging for forgiveness. Your Wife think its easy to train Kids , without any source of income.. Smiles Just be patient...

eyinjuege:
Go through the court process to get your kids, or at least have a shared custody arrangement

The courts will decide how to do that. Either they live with you while she pays you child support (good luck with that as she's jobless), and they go spend the holidays with their mother, or they live with their mother and you pay child support (for their living expenses, and always pay their school fees personally yourself and keep your receipts) while they spend the holidays with you.

And always call to speak to your children at least every other day.

taiiremide:
Bro. Pls read again, we never had a fight before she left for Lagos. The only serious issue we had was when I saw 'call me back I love you' on her phone, I challenged her and she accused me of suspecting her, that I don't trust her. The second one was when my mum ask my son to go home with her, my wife stopped my mum, saying my nephew will beat him. I told my mum she can go with my son. She also accused me of putting my family above her, that I only respect my family that her opinion doesn't count, which isn't true. I love but I won't allow her to disrespect my mother.

taiiremide:
My wife absconded with our kids (2 boys). We’ve been married for 4years plus. I did everything a good husband would do to please his wife, but she never satisfied. Before we got married, I’ve a good job and she knew my worth, after marriage things isn’t as rosy and it used to be, I lost my job and I was able to get one after 2 months but the salary is 120k excluding other freelance jobs I do online.

We’re unable to save. We spent most of the money on food stuffs, I hate seeing her hungry. She called me one faithful night and reminds me of the premises I made before we got married about the car and supermarket I promised her (I can’t remembered making such promises), but I still encourage her to be patient with me, that things gonna be fine. She never supported me as she’s not working. I remember I gave her 450k to start a business; she was pregnant at the time so she rejected the money because of her condition. I added some money and I bought a car, I needed the car to hustle for contracts, I cant be jumping from okada to marwa, nobody gonna take you serious. A month later, I got a printing contract from one of the best companies in Lagos, the condition is to use your money for the contract so I sold the car to print the job, I bought a machine unfortunately the machine packedup, i lost the gain and money for the car but I was able to delivered the job more that expectation but I lost huge amount of money. She always complaining ever since, when I tried to encourage her that things will be fine she will ask me ‘when’.

She treats my kids as if she wasn’t the one that brought them to this world, she always using negative words for those kids, I later realized she doesn’t love me, if she love me, she’ll equally love my kids.

4 months ago, she went to visit my younger sister in osogbo, she saw the way my sister’s business was moving fine, she fall inlove with osogbo, she sent a message thus ‘dear, guess I am in love with Oshogbo is peaceful and cool’. When she came back to Lagos, she said she wanted us to move to osogbo, after much persuasion and consideration I succumbed. We moved to osogbo, I spent more than 300k. 2 weeks later, she started complaining that osogbo is boring. I was so mad. I had to risk my life travelling from osogbo to Lagos almost every week.
On the 16th of September (a day after I celebrated our last born birthday) she left for Lagos for her sister’s wedding, I gave her 12k for tfair and other expenses. I called her a week later to remind her that our first son gonna resume school the following Monday, that’s when she said she’s no longer interested in the marriage, that I should move on, I called her mother, she said I should come see her but my family stopped me, since we never had a fight and I was not the one that sent her packing that she should be the one to come.

I’m missing my kids, they’re my life, I don’t know what to do.

harlee:
what if she has found someone else

chydon22:
U causes everything u re passing tru, u used moni and material tins to lured her into marriage, u neva tell ursef truth about live.... So wen d moni gone she equally show u her true color...... For dose of u singles, neva entice a woman with gift making her to see u as a big dude u neva been.. marriage is nt d same as boy/girl friend it's a reality of life...so show ur true color if she is urs, she is urs

baby124:
Friends? Hahahah. Na then she will know that her friends have their own problems. Even her family will push her out. As long as he did not abuse her, she won't get much support. The one she is behaving like a spoiled snake in her family home will soon end when her mother starts treating her like housegirl. Unto the fact that they are taking care of her and kids on what is probably a pension. One parent taking full responsibility for kids is not enough. Let alone one that cannot even sell her goods for profit and restock her shop herself. The woman is lazy and OP most likely married a very jobless young girl.