I posted dis romance section,but most comment there are childish,someone advice i bring it to family section...pls mature mind in d house advice

v been married for almost 4yrs...we are blessed wt 2 preety girls..bt for d past 3 and halt tears my sexual life is not encouraging.i av.never been wet b4 sex,not for once talkless of orgasm...each time we make luv,most times i pretend to be enjoying it...to be fair to my hisband he has really tried...he romances me,show me luv,envourages me bt nothing meaningful is happening...no matter hw much he toyrches me i hardly get moved....i tot things wl change after child birth but i was wrong...just last week my hubby dropped d bombshel....he told me he had kept quiet 4 all dis years just becos he hope things wl changed...he told me he had not been enjoying his sexual life wt me...and asked me if i do enjoy it,he want to kno if hes d problem...i told him no dat i do not...he almost broke down in tears...av seeked medial help bt no result...am scared he mite start.an affair wt anoda lady soon....he told me he had resulted to porn in d last 3yrs,and dats y he always lock his videos,just bvos he dnt want to have extral marital affairs...he said if things dosent improve b4 our 4th yr anniversary,he wl be force to seek divorce...pls pple,help me...someone advice me to join nairaland,dat i culd find solution

To be honest, you need to pray, I mean really pray to God and stop crying and trust him to save your marriage and restore your....you know.
I don't want to ask you but I need you to think back if you were like this with other men before marriage or something.

How many times will you post this same topic na......

I remember commenting on your threads and there were lots of comments there also... You havnt gotten advise yet? This must be a serious case then

Do two things...


Seek a sex therapist


Pray to God.

May God help you

What was your sex life with your hubby like before bearing children?
Was he hitting it right before the children came?

Grade A female genital mutilation things.




Anyway, tell your hubby to use his fingers, mouth, more. I don't know how I know this as I'm not married...but please it mustn't be pen.s all the time.

Besides, porn won't help him... No normal human can spend hours on se. x the way those guys do without hard drugs. The porn may destroy him, and eventually kill his esteem.

following...

Where u circumcised

Is there an ex that touches u right and u still hold on to d thought of him.?

If your answer is yes to anyone above, let me know.

GoldCircle:
@ Poster, so sorry to hear this.

I think you guys have got what we call 'sexual compatibility' issues. Courtship is usually the best time to detect this, but hey, you guys are already married. Your husband is way more charged than you are and its something you guys have got to work on. Together I mean. I figure that yours isn't a case of one who's approaching menopause given that you are less than 5 years in marriage. Anyways, here are some useful tips:

1. You need to explore your own sexuality. By this, you need to know yourself sexually. i.e. what turns you on, what turns you off; what gets you on the edge etc. You may have to discover this yourself or with your partner (if he has the time and patience). I suggest some literature will aid you in this regard or perhaps movies. You may choose any from of these books: http://www.alternet.org/story/142916/40_books_about_sexuality_that_you_have_to_read.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliapugachevsky/books-that-will-change-your-sex-life?utm_term=.mcn6LQa9q#.pqopvEwdO

I'll suggest you read Love Lives. I can remember the author.I'll get back to you on this. But it's quite an expository book.

2. Free yourself from all forms of inhibition when it comes to sex with your partner. Savour and enjoy every moment. Feel free to talk about any and everything with him as it concerns sex. Your background and upbringing plays a vital role in how you view and perceive sex. Religious views also have a role to play too. But free your mind from all of these perceptions and misconceptions and enjoy the moment. If for instance, you are the type that prefers to have soft music playing in the background to relax better during sex, discuss this with your partner and then go ahead. Do not view having sex with your partner as doing him a favour.

3. Sex isn't oxygen. So forget Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs that puts sex in the same category as food, water and other things necessary for human survival. Moderation is the key to having a good sex life. Generally, men have higher libidos. But hey, who says you can't make the move when you need it. Just make sure you aren't too tired after the chores of the day whenever he comes knocking. This can also be a huge turn off.

hope this helps...feel free to revert.

All the best.

really appreciate dis...God bless u abundantly

afanide:
How many times will you post this same topic na......

I remember commenting on your threads and there were lots of comments there also... You havnt gotten advise yet? This must be a serious case then

av not gotten enof my brother...most posters on d romance sextion are kids....posting it here again means alot to.me

unlimitedgrace4 quick question: why do we have sex? apostle paul said whoever has sex with a prostitute becomes yoked to her. put that in the arena of marriage and see how that makes a better union. no rush, you guys would work your way up to it. ...

feeling tired tonight, would continue tomorrow. take care dear.

unlimitedgrace4:



av not gotten enof my brother...most posters on d romance sextion are kids....posting it here again means alot to.me

Ohhhh is se..... Yes i think this section is better in terms of getting matured advice..... Goodluck!

unlimitedgrace4:
I posted dis romance section,but most comment there are childish,someone advice i bring it to family section...pls mature mind in d house advice

v been married for almost 4yrs...we are blessed wt 2 preety girls..bt for d past 3 and halt tears my sexual life is not encouraging.i av.never been wet b4 sex,not for once talkless of orgasm...each time we make luv,most times i pretend to be enjoying it...to be fair to my hisband he has really tried...he romances me,show me luv,envourages me bt nothing meaningful is happening...no matter hw much he toyrches me i hardly get moved....i tot things wl change after child birth but i was wrong...just last week my hubby dropped d bombshel....he told me he had kept quiet 4 all dis years just becos he hope things wl changed...he told me he had not been enjoying his sexual life wt me...and asked me if i do enjoy it,he want to kno if hes d problem...i told him no dat i do not...he almost broke down in tears...av seeked medial help bt no result...am scared he mite start.an affair wt anoda lady soon....he told me he had resulted to porn in d last 3yrs,and dats y he always lock his videos,just bvos he dnt want to have extral marital affairs...he said if things dosent improve b4 our 4th yr anniversary,he wl be force to seek divorce...pls pple,help me...someone advice me to join nairaland,dat i culd find solution

No your husband shouldn't threaten you with divorce, your's could be a medical condition which could be redeemable, if you meet the right care givers. Now, nobody knows your body more than you do, even as a man, I know where I could be touched, to turn me on, and were to touch to kill the mood, we all do have that sensitive point, you should have yours. Your husband spoke to you about the issue, which to me is a good sign, if there is something he is not doing right or there are places he needs to touch, or do, and he is not doing well, tell him. Going to a sex therapist might also help, they will determine if it is medical or psychological problem. Then again if your husband is not your first, you can compare and contrast, and isolate where the problem is really coming from. Good luck.

Sorry,I'm not sure I know a way out but learn how to be free and confident in your skin. If you are open minded, mastu....bate and find out what gets your groove on then lead and teach your husband to the right direction.

I cannot imagine a life without sexxxual fulfillment

Agybabe:
To be honest, you need to pray, I mean really pray to God and stop crying and trust him to save your marriage and restore your....you know.
I don't want to ask you but I need you to think back if you were like this with other men before marriage or something.

here we go again. If key gets missing let's pray if the food was oversalted let's pray so that the salt will reduce if there's no battery inside remote let's pray so that the tv will automatically come on.if you don't read before exams let's pray so that miraculously everything will come to memory
Nothing is ever pragmatic

Op find out if you were circumcised as a child
Were you ever r@ped as a child or adult. That may cause sex to be tough for you
Did your husband ever r@pe assaulted or abused you at any point in your marriage. That can kill any sexual attraction or passion for sex with him
were you sexually attracted to your husband before wedding or your people forced you to marry him

Did you marry him out of no option or to satisfy society but in your heart you never truly loved him or was sexually attracted to him

Or is it that he doesn't engage in pre-intimacy. He'll just say mama bisoye open your legs and just mount on you like That
is HE bad in bed?he doesn't know how to satisfy you sexually?
Is the bed uncomfortable or the room hot? Does he beat you before SEX or abuses you before sex?
Does he call you fat ugly dirty or other abusive names?

Get to the root of YOUr sexual problems or frigidity.it might be because of any of the above

Or go see a gyneacologist OR sexual counsellor.I didn't say pastor o before they help you compound your problems or say you have spirit husband

unlimitedgrace4:
I posted dis romance section,but most comment there are childish,someone advice i bring it to family section...pls mature mind in d house advice

v been married for almost 4yrs...we are blessed wt 2 preety girls..bt for d past 3 and halt tears my sexual life is not encouraging.i av.never been wet b4 sex,not for once talkless of orgasm...each time we make luv,most times i pretend to be enjoying it...to be fair to my hisband he has really tried...he romances me,show me luv,envourages me bt nothing meaningful is happening...no matter hw much he toyrches me i hardly get moved....i tot things wl change after child birth but i was wrong...just last week my hubby dropped d bombshel....he told me he had kept quiet 4 all dis years just becos he hope things wl changed...he told me he had not been enjoying his sexual life wt me...and asked me if i do enjoy it,he want to kno if hes d problem...i told him no dat i do not...he almost broke down in tears...av seeked medial help bt no result...am scared he mite start.an affair wt anoda lady soon....he told me he had resulted to porn in d last 3yrs,and dats y he always lock his videos,just bvos he dnt want to have extral marital affairs...he said if things dosent improve b4 our 4th yr anniversary,he wl be force to seek divorce...pls pple,help me...someone advice me to join nairaland,dat i culd find solution

Lots of White Women have This same issues after giving birth. That's why Oyinbo created Ky gel. It's sold in naija, it cost about 2k change. Get it and it will change your life. Before your husband penetrate you will apply small amount on your private parts. It will give you that wetness you need for satisfaction. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Agybabe:
To be honest, you need to pray, I mean really pray to God and stop crying and trust him to save your marriage and restore your....you know.
I don't want to ask you but I need you to think back if you were like this with other men before marriage or something.

Nigerian wants you to pray over things that have solutions. Tell her to pray for success not pray to get wet for her husband. All she needs to buy is ky gel or durex lube gel.. problem solved.

unlimitedgrace4:
I posted dis romance section,but most comment there are childish,someone advice i bring it to family section...pls mature mind in d house advice

v been married for almost 4yrs...we are blessed wt 2 preety girls..bt for d past 3 and halt tears my sexual life is not encouraging.i av.never been wet b4 sex,not for once talkless of orgasm...each time we make luv,most times i pretend to be enjoying it...to be fair to my hisband he has really tried...he romances me,show me luv,envourages me bt nothing meaningful is happening...no matter hw much he toyrches me i hardly get moved....i tot things wl change after child birth but i was wrong...just last week my hubby dropped d bombshel....he told me he had kept quiet 4 all dis years just becos he hope things wl changed...he told me he had not been enjoying his sexual life wt me...and asked me if i do enjoy it,he want to kno if hes d problem...i told him no dat i do not...he almost broke down in tears...av seeked medial help bt no result...am scared he mite start.an affair wt anoda lady soon....he told me he had resulted to porn in d last 3yrs,and dats y he always lock his videos,just bvos he dnt want to have extral marital affairs...he said if things dosent improve b4 our 4th yr anniversary,he wl be force to seek divorce...pls pple,help me...someone advice me to join nairaland,dat i culd find solution

You can also get this picture attached. I'm a Yankee guy, sex na serious matter. Just rub that on and u will be wet for hours

omosedollar:


Nigerian wants you to pray over things that have solutions. Tell her to pray for success not pray to get wet for her husband. All she needs to buy is ky gel or durex lube gel.. problem solved.

that's exactly what a pastor Will tell her if she went to church

Pray for your v@jyna to get wet as if God will come down from heaven to make her get wet

Agybabe:
To be honest, you need to pray, I mean really pray to God and stop crying and trust him to save your marriage and restore your....you know.
I don't want to ask you but I need you to think back if you were like this with other men before marriage or something.

by mere looking at your pic one can easily assume you got something upstairs

you left romance section where you are the queen and come here to spew trash

what are the correlation btw op predicament and religion you can as well demand tithe and offerings for her problems to be solved

Nonsense

Try this as it works for me, also had the same issue= allow your bladder get "little full with urine" before having sex; its like it pushes out the clit which automatically allows you feel something during the ACT. Then its also a combination of emotional and physical concentration. Hope it works for you... HAPPY LOVE MAKING

carmag:


by mere looking at your pic one can easily assume you got something upstairs

you left romance section where you are the queen and come here to spew trash

what are the correlation btw op predicament and religion you can as well demand tithe and offerings for her problems to be solved

Nonsense

I honestly wish I could reply your insult. How does my comment affect your own advice to the original poster? Respect is earned but this your act should not repeat because I'm in no mood to battle words with you.

omosedollar:


Nigerian wants you to pray over things that have solutions. Tell her to pray for success not pray to get wet for her husband. All she needs to buy is ky gel or durex lube gel.. problem solved.

Tell her that yourself. What way should my own advice affect yours?

dangotesmummy:
here we go again. If key gets missing let's pray if the food was oversalted let's pray so that the salt will reduce if there's no battery inside remote let's pray so that the tv will automatically come on.if you don't read before exams let's pray so that miraculously everything will come to memory
Nothing is ever pragmatic

Op find out if you were circumcised as a child
Were you ever r@ped as a child or adult. That may cause sex to be tough for you
Did your husband ever r@pe assaulted or abused you at any point in your marriage. That can kill any sexual attraction or passion for sex with him
were you sexually attracted to your husband before wedding or your people forced you to marry him

Did you marry him out of no option or to satisfy society but in your heart you never truly loved him or was sexually attracted to him

Or is it that he doesn't engage in pre-intimacy. He'll just say mama bisoye open your legs and just mount on you like That
is HE bad in bed?he doesn't know how to satisfy you sexually?
Is the bed uncomfortable or the room hot? Does he beat you before SEX or abuses you before sex?
Does he call you fat ugly dirty or other abusive names?

Get to the root of YOUr sexual problems or frigidity.it might be because of any of the above

Or go see a gyneacologist OR sexual counsellor.I didn't say pastor o before they help you compound your problems or say you have spirit husband

How should my own comment make you quote me before you offer Your Own advice? Na wa ooo.

Agybabe:

I honestly wish I could reply your insult. How does my comment affect your own advice to the original poster? Respect is earned but this your act should not repeat because I'm in no mood to battle words with you.

Go ahead and reply the insult

mtchewww

all this fake holier than thow nonsense

unlimitedgrace4:
I posted dis romance section,but most comment there are childish,someone advice i bring it to family section...pls mature mind in d house advice

v been married for almost 4yrs...we are blessed wt 2 preety girls..bt for d past 3 and halt tears my sexual life is not encouraging.i av.never been wet b4 sex,not for once talkless of orgasm...each time we make luv,most times i pretend to be enjoying it...to be fair to my hisband he has really tried...he romances me,show me luv,envourages me bt nothing meaningful is happening...no matter hw much he toyrches me i hardly get moved....i tot things wl change after child birth but i was wrong...just last week my hubby dropped d bombshel....he told me he had kept quiet 4 all dis years just becos he hope things wl changed...he told me he had not been enjoying his sexual life wt me...and asked me if i do enjoy it,he want to kno if hes d problem...i told him no dat i do not...he almost broke down in tears...av seeked medial help bt no result...am scared he mite start.an affair wt anoda lady soon....he told me he had resulted to porn in d last 3yrs,and dats y he always lock his videos,just bvos he dnt want to have extral marital affairs...he said if things dosent improve b4 our 4th yr anniversary,he wl be force to seek divorce...pls pple,help me...someone advice me to join nairaland,dat i culd find solution

Please tell your husband to stop watching porn, you will never satisfy him with what porn will do to him!
Concerning getting wet, I suggest you get tiger nuts, coconut and dates. Blend them together, sieve, refrigerate and drink 30 to 45mins before the show. It works, I hope it works for you.
Also, do away with some mentality that you can néver enjoy sex.
Go online, read books that speaks on this issue, do this with your husband to make it more interesting. There are so many materials and articles online on this issue. I can also recommend the "Art of Marriage" by Tim Lahaye for you. It's a nice Christian Marriage and Romance book.
Above all, pray for your home and your husband.
God's speed.

Agybabe:

How should my own comment make you quote me before you offer Your Own advice? Na wa ooo.

unlimitedgrace4:




really appreciate dis...God bless u abundantly

You really need to seek the help of a professional sex therapist. Whatever inhibitions the two of you have a bout sex can be resolved of you enlist the help of a therapist.

If I'm not mistaken, there's one that runs a great column on Saturday Punch newspaper, Funmi Akingbade.

From reviews from readers she's the rave of the moment when it comes to helping couples with their sexual problems.

I want to assure you that this is probably a problem the two of you can't solve on your own, neither can advices here take the place of a professional help.

All the best.

Both of you are not taking the patience to find out what turns you on.I am sure you know what turns you on, but it may be something your husband will find unbelievable. The only other reason is that you may be having issues with sex because of childbirth. Also stress can cause it. Sometimes we bring our external issues into the bedroom with us.