₦airaland Forum

This story is just awful. I saw it on Cynthia Raphael's page and just had to share it.

Madam today is the memory of my legend, ( my late father) 14 years ago, he was laid to rest! His memory still remains fresh in the heart of those who love him. I miss you daddy.

Madam I wish to share my family story with you, since I have been on social media and reading relationship updates, I have never seen a page very fruitful and educative like yours . My story is heartbreaking, the story of my late father, he was all I got, his death took the most deepest part of me. The very minute he was laid to rest, nothing means the world again to me. Daddy know that where ever you are,your daughter misses you and in my next world, you will always be my father. My father under went a lot in the hands of my mother, though I haven't seen her since 9 years I got married . Me seeing her after I left on the day my daddy was buried, I packed and left, seeing her again,was on my marriage day. I have forgiven her, but she will neither get close to me or my children, not in this life . Madam Cynthia , yes men get abused and my father was one man who endured till he gave up. I am the first child of my parent. My father was a bank manager, he always provide whatever we need. Whatever my mother say, he does without asking what she needs the money for .

She tortured him, not one minute of peace. As little as I was, I can recall she slapping my daddy on different occasions when he questions her on where she went. My father believed in the sanity of marriage and he doesn't want a separation because of us the kids. My daddies work is very demanding and from his work he will come pick us from school while my mother is at home sleeping . It got to a time, he was almost sacked and he found a driver for us, though he was trying to save cost by coming to pick us himself. Once we get home, he will bath us, and my mother will still be on phone talking to her friends and my father will go to the kitchen and start cooking what we will eat.

Madam if I start remembering what happened when we were small, I will put a bullet to my mothers skull. When my daddy finishes cooking, my mother will be the first to go take food and eat. I came across my dad washing clothes one day and I saw my mothers bras and pants in it. That was when I took over the washing at 13years and relieved my father of that. My mother prefers to go out with friends than stay at home with us on weekends, so my daddy is always there to look into our homework. Even in school when parents meeting will be called, my father is the person who comes, the school barely know my mother. I grew up knowing what womanhood was from my father. He taught me all I know. My daddy so much loved my mother that whenever he goes out, he will find something to buy for her, to make her happy, some she says thank you and some she doesn't.

The name calling are unbearable, fool, idiot, I managed to Marry your type,you are not my ideal man, I will soon leave you and marry another suitable man. She killed my daddies pride! She ridiculed his ego. Sometimes my father cry in his heart whenever I am around for me not to see. After my coming, my mother stayed 5 years before my twin siblings came . My father became a ghost of himself. The torture was painful. My mother had her separate room, so she sleeps there often with the twins, me and my daddy sleep on his bed, sometimes when I wake up, I will look for him, but will see him on my mother door kneeling down , asking her to open the door for him. As small as I am, I will go and kneel with him, asking him to get up and go to sleep.

Sometimes he kneels down at the blessed sacrament altar in our house to cry because my dad is a staunch Catholic , he will cry till he is tired. My mother detest my daddies people with passion, so no one nears our house at all. I have asked her severally what they did, she said nothing, just that that are coming to scatter the wealth that she suffered for. She slapped me at 14 years when I asked her what wealth, that she has been a house wife , so where is the wealth? That is only my daddy that is making the money, the slap she gave me , landed me on the floor. My mother never for once go to the market to buy me bra, my father did. One day I asked my dad, how did you and mummy meet, he said he met her back in university days when a man who promised her marriage dissapointed her and married her friend , that my mother is acting that way because of betrayed trust. I told him even at that, she shouldn't transfer aggression to you who is innocent. My daddy said they courted for 9 months before he married her. My mothers friends has never entered our house and behaved themselves, either they are drinking or dancing In front of us, sometimes my mother ask us to leave when my daddy is not at home.

Oh madam, I never had a peaceful childhood. I started cooking at 14, to help my father. My grandmother came just once and visited, the cold reception my mother gave her was nothing to write home about. She served her cold food, I was the one who went to warm it for her, when I brought it back for her, she said she has lost appetite.

When I was 16 years, I was molested by my secondary school teacher, telling my mother, she said go talk to your father, I waited for my father to return before I complained, he took the case to the later, till the teacher was sacked.

My two twin brothers took the footstool of my mother, one is in nigeria prison for rape and the other is surviving with his plumbering job, when he found out that robbing people of their property isn't safe anymore, that he can be caught and sent to jail, so he learnt plumber work. The kind of disturbing names my mother shouts on my daddy is not funny. I thank God that people knew he was a great man. The two storey building at my mothers place was built by my father. Yes, he loves my mother beyond repair, he took all she did as if it was nothing, the thorn kept piercing his heart . I refused going to boarding school just to stay close to my father. When I finished school, I got into the university, my father had stroke at 54 years. That was the period I vowed never to have a mother. She left my daddy to our mercy, all she does is to ask him how he is doing, and to tell him that he smells sometimes.

For 2 years, i didn't concentrate in school till my father recovered. That period my mothers late night was something else . It got to a time, her own mother called her and told her she is ashamed to call her her daughter, that what is wrong with her ? She transferred the aggression on me saying am the one telling her mother what she is saying. I thank God my father healed and I sat him down with his friend to tell him to speak up, that he has tried to condone a lot. Madam Cynthia, my father spoke up very late,almost at the point of death.

My university education was badly affected. My brothers got into the university, joined cults and got erosticated from school. My mother fought to bribe her way to help them. My Final year was when life lost meaning to me. My father called me saying he is feeling as if his breathing isn't normal, my mother traveled to their house, saying she wants to attend her sisters daughters wedding. After the wedding, she stayed like one whole week leaving my father and our nanny, an older lady she brought to help keep the house neat because we are all in school. I rushed home, saw my father, he was looking healthy, but I noticed he was fighting it had to breath, I asked the nanny to help me take him down the stair case ,let me bring the car keys, I can drive, my father taught me . When we got to the hospital, his bp was terribly high. He was admitted. I picked up a phone to call my mother, my father said I shouldn't bother. I got angry left his side, left the room to call my mother, asking her how she left home and never cared to check up on her husband, she said isn't the nanny there to take care of him? That was her question, I just switched off .

She later came after three days to the hospital, but the next day my daddy was discharged, so we got home and my exam was the next two day, my last exam before my Defence. I instructed the nanny on what to do, and she shouldn't hesitate to call me once my daddy starts getting worse, immediately I left and went back to school. On the day we started exam was the day my father died. I felt it in the morning, because my flower vase fell all the way from the center of the table. My water gallon broke, for 4 years, I have used it till that day. The one that got me mad, was my exam card, I looked for it till I got tired not knowing I was wearing it inside my shirt . My father died in the morning, when I finished writing my exam, I started calling my daddies phone, he did not pick up , I called our nanny, she said she left our house yesterday to see her mother who called that she is sick. I picked phone, called my mother and she said my dad is fine and she gave him food in the morning before leaving the house, and she will soon leave her fiends place home. I wasn't comfortable so, I left school immediately, saying once I see my father healthy, I will rush back to school and start preparing for my next paper.

When I got home, my mother wasn't back yet, my brother was down stairs smoking, I asked about daddy, he said he should be in his room, I was singing climbing the stairs, dropped my bag, went to meet him where he is lying , his eyes were closed, so I tapped him to tell him, I am around, he never responded, pushed him to know if he can wake up, no way, when I started shouting my brother came upstairs and I ran out to go called my fathers brother,and they confirmed him dead, we took him to a doctor, and he said, it's been long he died. Life lost its meaning for me, I didn't know what I was doing. I carried my daddies head up to my lap and cried, life why me? My mother came back when we brought my daddies corpse back from the hospital, thinking of which mortuary to take him too. When she started crying, people that knew her, never even looked her way. My father died in pain and agony. Life was so unfair to him, he was tortured to death.

It was only God who wrote my exams for me because I can't understand anything, anymore . After my fathers burial, I packed to go live with my grandparents and I stayed there till I got married. My father was a victim of abuse and he died loving my mother, I am married and I want to love my husband till death, I have kids and I will train them responsibly. My mother has fought to see me , but all to no avail, my husband has asked me to let it go, but all I told him was, h never understood because he never walked in my shoes. I was touched to go see my brother at the prison, he was so ashamed of himself, life taught him a lesson the hard way.

Madam a lot of men are abused daily but they don't want to speak up. My father was one, millions are out there . I rest my pen here madam Cynthia, good day to you .

I read the entire writeup and I'm so sad...its very unfair to the poor man... I believe the woman jazzed him cos no matter how patient and loving a human is he must snap at some point but the man never did... It's sad...very sad

Please madam...never get close to that witch of a mother...she's not human

can this be real?

Unfortunately these are the kind of men people like Ujoan and her Nairaland sisters like as a husband.
The type that will wash their bra and panties without complain, cook in the kitchen while they go make their hair and nails at the salon, and listen to all they tell them because the voice of a wife is the voice of God.

Thank heavens there are still men like myself around these parts, the woman that will make rules for me or determine who does what or when in our home, hasn't been born yet.
I will end her before she ends me.

crackhaus:
Unfortunately these are the kind of men people like Ujoan and her Nairaland sisters like as a husband.
The type that will wash their bra and panties without complain, cook in the kitchen while they go make their hair and nails at the salon, and listen to all they tell them because the voice of a wife is the voice of God.

Thank heavens there are still men like myself around these parts, the woman that will make rules for me or determine who does what or when in our home, hasn't been born yet.
I will end her before she ends me.

You're mean

crackhaus:
Unfortunately these are the kind of men people like Ujoan and her Nairaland sisters like as a husband.
The type that will wash their bra and panties without complain, cook in the kitchen while they go make their hair and nails at the salon, and listen to all they tell them because the voice of a wife is the voice of God.

Thank heavens there are still men like myself around these parts, the woman that will make rules for me or determine who does what or when in our home, hasn't been born yet.
I will end her before she ends me.

hahaha. you funny man.

Guys saying this man has been jazzed have never been in love, you can do anything stupid without limit when u are in love.

Love is sweet but sometimes cruel when you fall inlove with a wrong person

yorhmienerd:
Well, the father is a weakling. The day a woman tries nonsense with me, after warning(both from inside and reporting her) comes beating, I will beat her till she bleeds...

Seriously some feminist on this site whose sobriequet I won't mention make it seem like men are the worst being whereas the devil resides in both gender... God saves us all

People like u should be the new spokesman for APC. (Elenu) u go even wash ur wife bumbum if she's through in the toilet lol


If you know how It feels been in love u will retrace ur comments

..

Ishilove:
You're mean

What is the alternative?
I need suggestions

krauss:
hahaha. you funny man.

Just being honest...

yorhmienerd:
Like seriously So because I'm in love, I should not be able to think again?

Did you see the part where I said I was going to warn her?

Leyin aponle, abuku lo kan

My brother! The man in question wasn't stupid, u could see how he took up his girls teacher issues, he would simply be tryin to keep the marriage cox of the kids and praying she changes for good. At least the marriage was for better for worse, but it was clear the man in question loves his wife wholeheartedly

Its sad the father never took the bull by the horn and walk out of the marriage.
Marriage is never by force. Once there's any form of abuse, its better you just walk out of it for your peace of mind.
Children cannot even grow to be healthy mentally in such an environment, so all that talk of staying and taking the abuse because of your children is balderdash. You will only raise damaged children e.g the writer's brothers. Even the writer is still tormented by the travails of her father and only God knows what sort of troubles she's still dealing with.
The man's family too should have spoken up. I know couples should be allowed to settle their differences without interference, but when you start seeing the unhappiness and the signs of abuse in your son/ daughter in an abusive marriage, go and talk to them and possibly drag them out of that home. Most will still go back, but one will not allow it rest. The man died even before his own mother.
Its a pity that most crazy men don't marry crazy women, so they can deal with themselves as they seem fit

balash:
My brother! The man in question wasn't stupid, u could see how he took up his girls teacher issues, he would simply be tryin to keep the marriage cox of the kids and praying she changes for good. At least the marriage was for better for worse, but it was clear the man in question loves his wife wholeheartedly

now he's dead and the woman is still alive and jumping all because he loved her wholeheartedly right?

Well the day a mate stops cherishing his/her partner then that love is sour and if I happened to be the disgruntled mate then I'll be more careful with how I love

eyinjuege:
Its sad the father never took the bull by the horn and walk out of the marriage.
Marriage is never by force. Once there's any form of abuse, its better you just walk out of it for your peace of mind.
Children cannot even grow to be healthy mentally in such an environment, so all that talk of staying and taking the abuse because of your children is balderdash. You will only raise damaged children e.g the writer's brothers. Even the writer is still tormented by the travails of her father and only God knows what sort of troubles she's still dealing with.
The man's family too should have spoken up. I know couples should be allowed to settle their differences without interference, but when you start seeing the unhappiness and the signs of abuse in your son/ daughter in an abusive marriage, go and talk to them and possibly drag them out of that home. Most will still go back, but one will not allow it rest. The man died even before his own mother.
Its a pity that most crazy men don't marry crazy women, so they can deal with themselves as they seem fit

true talk @bolded

It's better for the kids to grow with a single parent and start the healing process early than for them to reach adulthood as damaged individuals

yorhmienerd:
Well, the father is a weakling. The day a woman tries nonsense with me, after warning(both from inside and reporting her) comes beating, I will beat her till she bleeds...

Seriously some feminist on this site whose sobriequet I won't mention make it seem like men are the worst being whereas the devil resides in both gender... God saves us all

You will beat her till she bleeds? Are you a vampire?

This is similar to all those fake stories that populate joro olumofin and make or break page on IG.

balash:
My brother! The man in question wasn't stupid, u could see how he took up his girls teacher issues, he would simply be tryin to keep the marriage cox of the kids and praying she changes for good. At least the marriage was for better for worse, but it was clear the man in question loves his wife wholeheartedly

You're getting it wrong. When a man beats a woman he is a scum and you advise the woman to divorce but when it's the other way round you are talking about love...he was suppose to take the bull by the horn and man his house. I'm sure she would be denying him the koko too, HE'S A WEAKLING.

Except they are practising domination & submission kinda relationship that's is not open to the children

crackhaus:
Just being honest...

I like that. Couldn't accept any less.

Ishilove:
You will beat her till she bleeds? Are you a vampire?

No.

InformedLola:
This is similar to all those fake stories that populate joro olumofin and make or break page on IG.

Because it's a man it's fake ba

yorhmienerd:
You're getting it wrong. When a man beats a woman he is a scum and you advise the woman to divorce but when it's the other way round you are talking about love...he was suppose to take the bull by the horn and man his house. I'm sure she would be denying him the koko too, HE'S A WEAKLING.

Except they are practising domination & submission kinda relationship that's is not open to the children

What am trying to point out is that the men wasn't a weakling, but he was clearly obsessed with his wife. People who are obsessed don't see anything there partner does as hurting, as far as he or she stays. Have u witnessed an obsession in a relationship where the partner comes with the opposite sex and the spouse won't say anything. My brother don't blame it on the man. The late soul was in love, everyone has done something stupid in the name of love. I am not an exception at least I have cried when am heartbroken but never in an abusive relationship. The Lord would clearly just push her outta ma life if she ain't worth it.

Ladies are generally softened soul and for every reason we should always care and pamper them, the fact stands they would be an abusive one but an abusive lady can only be shown true love to change her heart because she's also been in a bad state. We can't treat everybody like a garbage cause we saw the bad ones, even the bad ones should be loved to change their heart. Am not saying it was bad the man finally died but at least the woman in question would regret for the rest of her life loosing out on someone who truly does love her.

Sad story.

Sad story.
My advice is same for every gender, walk out of any toxic relationship or marriage before it kills you.
This has nothing to do with washing pant or taking care of the home while your wife attends to herself_women have been doing it for decades. As long as it's done in love and appreciated, you're good to go.

...I managed to Marry your type,you are not my ideal man, I will soon leave you and marry another suitable man

The man was obviously obsessed with his wife and probably 'begged' her to marry him. Don't convince anyone to marry you, it's not a debate, it leads to emotional abuse. If the person on his/her own doesn't deem you good enough, talk a walk.

What a story. The sanctity of marriage is not important than life itself. It is not wise to endure living with a fellow-human who poses a threat to one's life. He should have walked away, even in marriage when he saw the visible signs. He got married to hear but never for once had peace of mind, not until he let out his last breath. And to think he died with no one around

This is perhaps what happens when a man forces the hand of a woman after being hurt. He will not only suffer the rippling effect but also cause his children to experience some of it.

My heart bleeds

Cc
Ammyluv2002

balash:
What am trying to point out is that the men wasn't a weakling, but he was clearly obsessed with his wife. People who are obsessed don't see anything there partner does as hurting, as far as he or she stays. Have u witnessed an obsession in a relationship where the partner comes with the opposite sex and the spouse won't say anything. My brother don't blame it on the man. The late soul was in love, everyone has done something stupid in the name of love. I am not an exception at least I have cried when am heartbroken but never in an abusive relationship. The Lord would clearly just push her outta ma life if she ain't worth it.

Ladies are generally softened soul and for every reason we should always care and pamper them, the fact stands they would be an abusive one but an abusive lady can only be shown true love to change her heart because she's also been in a bad state. We can't treat everybody like a garbage cause we saw the bad ones, even the bad ones should be loved to change their heart. Am not saying it was bad the man finally died but at least the woman in question would regret for the rest of her life loosing out on someone who truly does love her.

THIS IS POO. (FORGIVE MY MADNESS AND ANY ATOM OF ERRANCY. JUST HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS YOUR POST). Even the bible doesn't admonish stupidity. Apostle Paul fled when his life was being threatened. Unless like someone alleges on this thread, the man is jazzed, if not, this is crass idiocy from any man or woman. Clemency is not the same as docility.

Sanchez01:
What a story. The sanctity of marriage is not important than life itself. It is not wise to endure living with a fellow-human who poses a threat to one's life. He should have walked away, even in marriage when he saw the visible signs. He got married to hear but never for once had peace of mind, not until he let out his last breath. And to think he died with no one around

This is perhaps what happens when a man forces the hand of a woman after being hurt. He will not only suffer the rippling effect but also cause his children to experience some of it.

My heart bleeds

Cc
Ammyluv2002

Wow! This is unbelievable! I'm speechless

And could this be love, nah handwork of jazz

OLAFIMIX:
And could this be love, nah handwork of jazz

Many do not really know this, one cannot love another enough when one doth not love himself or herself.

Sad story. Stupid Love. what a father!