₦airaland Forum

Baseema:
I don't even know why

Newkidoo:
Can a Christian marry a muslim

Pls I need answers..

jiddama:
finally somebody dares to ask...
op you hit the nail on the head.
currently busy but will contribute later inshaAllah.
until then expecting to come back and see both the common and uncommon answers to this oft repeated question.

Keyana:
Barka Jum'mah to y'all

eeshfar:
Masha Allah. Thnx op.. There is dis cousin of myn wit a high level of shahwa since d age of 14. She's 19 now but all those coming to seek for her hand In marriage are after something else. Is dere a solution or a way to reduce high shahwa level??

Baseema:
I don't even know why

prettymina:
Am single bcus I have only a xtain suitor who is ready to marry me.duo he promised nt to disturb my religion but I don't blv him.i don't want to leave ISLAM

snapscore:
Been considering the idea of getting engaged but I am still not ready.

Ask4Info:
Where are based?

Wizeboy:
Marriage refers to the mutual relationship ordained by Allah for the believers as an act of worship between two people who love, trust, care, understand and respect each other for the sake of Allah; so as to attain jannah, procreate children, fulfill their sexual desires, unite and enjoy companionship forever with its continuation in paradise
in shaa Allah.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Three matters should not be delayed: prayer when its time comes, burial when the funeral has arrived, and the marriage of a single woman when a well-suited man has proposed.” [Tirmidhi]


Why should you delay marriages then?
The Prophet (pbuh) addressed the youths encouraging them to get married as soon as they are capable of shouldering the responsipility of marriage saying:
“O youth! Whoever amongst you is able to marry, let him marry, because it helps him keep his eyes away from lustful looks and preserve his chastity. And whoever is not able to marry, let him observe fasting, as it is a shield for him (i.e. protection from lapsing in fornication).” [Agreed Upon]

Early marriage doesn’t mean that the spouses could be not mature and responsible, the Qur’an hints saying:
“If you find them of sound judgement.” (An-Nisa': 6) That means puberty or marriageable age is not enough to be qualified for marriage. If a son is capable to run a household life and he is able to maitain mentally, psychologically and financially and everything of his wife, then early marriage is the only way to keep our children away from haram.

Marriage is a great tradition of the Prophet (SAW). Brothers and sisters in Islam, why are you still single? Are you not tired of having wet dreams and staring at the opposite (non-mahram) gender?

Is it financial issue? Money is not an enough excuse for you because some companions were almost penniless as at the time they married. Allah promises to enrich
married couples from his bounties. If unemployment is your excuse? Allah promises to make a way for you from sources that you couldn't have imagined.

Is it tribalism? Allah said He created us from a single pair of male and female and made us into nation and tribes so that we may know each other.

Is it your fear of heartbreak? [/b]The prophet said; what hit you couldn't have missed you and what missed you couldn't have hit you.

[b]Is it because you dislike early marriage and you want to graduate from school before marriage? Allah said: "Perhaps you dislike a thing but in reality it's good for you and perhaps you love a thing but In reality it's bad for you"

Is it because you want to have your own car/house first? The Prophet said: whoever trust Allah sincerely, Allah will provide for him just the way He provides for the birds who go out in the morning empty and return home satisfied.

Dear single brothers and sisters, what then is your excuse and why have you refused to marry? Don't you believe in the words of Allah and the sayings of the Prophet?

Trust in Allah and get married irrespective of your situation once you met the right brother/sister. Allah said: "Has the time not come for the believers that their hearts should be affected by the Qur'an and to embrace the truth which has been revealed" -(Surah hadeed:16)

Once a person reaches puberty, he naturally starts getting inclined to the other gender, because he/she has feelings and emotions running through the veins and hearts which has to be fulfilled either through the halal way or haram way.

Some people are born with high level of shahwa (sexual desire) while some have low hawa. This is why you see today in primary and secondary schools, small children now go to the bushes and uncompleted buildings to have haram fun (zina and its preliminaries). On valentines day, that's the day of zina especially in tertiary institutions.

If every family follows Qur'anic injunctions in conjunction with the sunnah of the Prophet and forms the habit of giving out their children or encourage their children to marry as soon as they are mature emotionally and a male child is financially buoyant, then many people will be married with their chastity intact.

Another thing that increases temptation in people is all these TV and western media we watch everyday. It's part of the agenda of the unbelievers to create a Godless society where people will now fornicate like chickens, that's why they entice through their movies with lots of
romantic scenes and this is what corrupts young minds today; may Allah protect us.

“Early marriage is recommended as long as the requirements of marriage are met including the ability of each of the spouses to fulfill his marital duties and protect his/her partner against temptation. The husband should also be able to shoulder the financial responsibilities at the sufficiency level. There is no specific age for marriage according to Shari`ah but the criterion is the capability of both spouses.”

BROTHERS AND SISTERS, is time to access yourself properly and marry that brother/sister you have found compatible in order to complete the other half of your deen and earn reward from Almighty Allah who prescribe marriage to all Muslim.


Maa Salam

AbdelKabir:
why aren't you ready?

snapscore:
Still mentally unprepared. I haven't thoroughly thought about the idea.

I can be picky and I would like that someone similar to me in terms of religion and worldview. If I can't get that, then I would have to think about what characteristics or qualities I don't mind compromising. For example, I don't believe it is an obligation for women to do household chores. Would I be willing to comprise? So I still have a lot of thinking to do.

And I'm still studying *but I don't think that is problem*

AishyWemsy:
May Allah lead and guide us. Marriage is a beautiful thing. I smell fp.

prettymina:
Am single bcus I have only a xtain suitor who is ready to marry me.duo he promised nt to disturb my religion but I don't blv him.i don't want to leave ISLAM

Baseema:
currently serving in Minna, Niger state.

farouk0403:
Op I get so many problems,
1. I spend almost all of my years studying, I dont have any skill nor job I depend solemnly on my parents for my financial problem, now I am at my peak of graduation without a penny in my bank account, I dont even know whether I will get a job or not after my Nysc.
So tell me how will I marry in this situation?
you should nt even think that my dad will support me, he will not.

2) I am a shy type I dont talk to girls, apart from shyness I always think that girls can easily disgrace you in public without given much thought. So to avoid this I stayed away from girls totally, I always frown at them and this made them to be more scared of me.

3) I always have this mentality that I shall make money first before dating, because every girl likes gift and surprises.

4) I have ego, therefore my rapport with people is very very low.
I know is a bad thing in islam but I cant help it, I tried to control it once but I failed.
Hello honoured bro, may Allah assist you, and forgive all our foibles as to your shyness, let me tell you, it's a good thing and ayah (bashfulness) is part of our Deen but we just have to be smart and remove the shyness when need be especially in the case of seeking for what really want. I have been in that shoe before too.and also you can inform some brothers close to you that are outspoken or at the helm of affairs to initiate a talk with a sister for you, not that they would help you talk to the lady but like prepare a greener ground for the lady to hear what you wanna say.islam encourages that,
And as for lady being disgracing you if you walk up to them, am sure our honoured muslimahs don't do that and won't do that..they want to hear what you want to say too.. And the funnest part is that they might have been expecting you to make the move all this while. So don't dull yourself bro
And as for ego, well every creature has their own inbuilt ego but in as much as we have known that this trait isn't good for any kind of relationship, Islam encourages us to stay clear from this attitude especily as you are a intending husband and father. Ego spoilt our good deeds and Allah detest such act. But there is an ego that is apparent to we men in marriage and our muslimahs have to acknowledge that.. That is our self respect. We men love it so much and we ain't gonna trade anything with that and it don't necessarily mean the men have to use that to oppress their partners too.
May Allah assist us
And finally,as for you not having a source of income or skill. It isn't late for you to acquire marketable skill or learn a trade it isn't late.. Although Islam urge us to get married if we have the means and for those that don't have the means yet,nabbiy Muhammad'(pbuh)urged us to fast as fasting diminish sexual power, WA laakin no matter how long one fast, there would be a time when we feel we need to get married and then we ought to have had something doing, a work or trade, even when Allah says He would enrich those seeking to get married for his sake and fearing poverty out of HIS bounty, He is referring to us having something doing.an effort on our own part that HE would bless, so it is this our efforts no matter how small that Allah would bless and would turn to riches for us. So you can also meet with your parents, rich relatives talk to them that you need a start up capital for a business or a trade after you might have gotten your business idea straight or skill you want them to help you on.. They would assist you In sha Allah. Make them see reasons why you need it, why you want to be getting independent of them gradually, make them know you really want to start doing something that would make you extra cash while in school thereby making you responsible. Even tell them about marital plans, that you don't want to comit zina but you have no means to get married in the Islamic way even if you want to.they would be happy and assist you. Change their orientation that you only need a stable source of income no matter how small and Allah would enrich you with time..we have seen many parents that have done this for their children and they are living fine now. We have seen parents that sponsor their children marriage, even the child naming ceremony and even establish them so as to be financially stable m. Such parents understand the importance of marriage and when it is being done early and also know the implications when it is delayed and hard on looking for expensive marriage Ceremony that scares suitors away especially on the part of the female child.. So may Allah assist us. You can let me know If you need entrepreneur and good biz ideas .am an entrepreneur and a farmer. So you can always reach out to me in that regards in sha Allah if you need any help. So that you can start something as fast as possible. Asallam allaikum waramatulah

akeenalee:
Lovely post. My hitch is maybe am not seeing the right ones. The last muslim lady i met lied she's a virgin but pretty as she lost it since 13yrs old and she's 26 now. Muslim ladies that are worth a wife material are just 30 out of 100. She dated sum1 for 7yrs saying she never had sex with d person and with her level of romance it sure she as been into this long time. What is wrong with our muslim sis. Despite i was honest and never hide any of my past relationship with her. It complicated

Nukualofa:
I can marry a muslim girl as far as she doesn't rub her religion in my face

Asidiq23:
Even our religion don't permit you to marry our women. NO. so forget wether she would rub it on your face or not, you won't even have/marry her at all

jamislaw:
I have to marry this year by God's grace.

Nukualofa:
But I've been having good sex with them since time immemorial

begwong:
Yes of course why not. My brother married a Muslim lady and they are happily married. Unlike some parents/families that will choose to kill the lady or declare a fatwa on both couples.

Nukualofa:
i sleep with the virgins among them. I'm a lecturer in COE in the North so you know how i get them easily