₦airaland Forum

You both loved each other, yes, you were so much in love with him. He was the only one who makes your world go round. You were fond of each other, and you could not imagine life without him. You blessed the day you met him, he was not perfect, but awesome in his own…..


You got married. This was your dream come true. Yes, you are now married to your beau. You had vowed to be with him, come rain, come sunshine… come all that the world may throw at you….


But then, things changed. It started with a smack, it degenerated to tappings, he uses his belt. No, I am not talking ‘the 50 shades of grey', kinda beating, not the bedroom dominant-submissive# kinda thing…..


I am talking about real beating that ranges from slaps to punches, stamping, boxing and every form of abuse you have been receiving.


You kept quiet, he has apologized. He promised never to lay his hands on you anymore, except he wants to caress you…. He showed how remorseful he was…


Then, it happened again… this time you were the ‘cause’. He told you pushed him too far. He would not have done it again, if you had not called him names and if you had not…..


And just before you knew it, he violated you again, this time harder, you sustained bruises here and there. He was sorry, he did not know what came over him this time. He got you that thing you loved most, he appeased you with gifts, you let go. ‘He is human, isn’t he?’


You got to a point where you can no longer take it. You told his people, they apologized on his behalf, called him to reprimand him, and told you he would never try such again.


But then, it happened again and again and again, you reported to people… you have been told never to keep quiet on such issues. His people told you to endure, your parents told you to manage…they have given you out in marriage, you can’t bring shame to them by going back to their house. Your friends told you that you are even lucky, some girls would do anything to attain that married status you have. So, they advise you to stay for your kids. Your clergy told you to pray. The society expectation of you is to keep up with his ill treatment. You don’t want to be single mother, or separated mom, you dislike such label….


But you die every day, with his raging blows… You die daily from his consistent abuse….

Will you wait till you are beaten to death, before you realize you should have run?

Would you rather die from his constant beating, than live for your children?

Many have towed this path…. Many have endured it, till their last breath was taken. Do you know the percentage of women who die yearly as a result of domestic violence?

RUN SISTER, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, SAY NO TO THE “ENDURE IT SYNDROME! "

This post first appeared on this blog, bae's diary.

Source: http://baesdiary..com.ng/2017/03/nah-who-carry-belle-my-encounter-with.html#more

I can endure anything but an abusive marriage.

Now this is sad..... victims can't always run.

ToriBlue:
I can endure anything but an abusive marriage.

a cheating husband too....hopefully you dont get to endure stds

A man that truly loves his woman will never hit her, because he can't stand seeing her hurt. And the true sign of a man's strength is how gently he loves his wife.

I feel terribly sorry for women who are stuck in abusive relationships/marriages because they think they've got no options; it's the worst situation any human can be in.

We need to educate our young girls more on self worth and independence, it goes a long way to save lives and heal hearts. I learnt from a young age not to accept cheating, emotional or physical abuse as the norm. I also learnt to be independent and content. This certainly helped me to make wise relationship decisions. When a woman knows her self worth, she will not take crap from anyone. She will know how to attract and keep a real man who loves and respects her.

Women also abuse men, its very unfortunate that the society fails to talk about it

egbabiekperemo1:
Women also abuse men, its very unfortunate that the society fails to talk about it

Yeah there are few instances where women abuse men and I don't condone that either. But in a patriarchal society such as Nigeria, we have to agree that women are most times at the receiving end of abuses.

This thread is about encouraging women to stop enduring domestic violence and other forms of abuses, go open a new thread to moan about how men are ignored

JewelStone:
A man that truly loves his woman will never hit her, because he can't stand seeing her hurt. And the true sign of a man's strength is how gently he loves his wife.

I feel terribly sorry for women who are stuck in abusive relationships/marriages because they think they've got no options; it's the worst situation any human can be in.

We need to educate our young girls more on self worth and independence, it goes a long way to save lives and heal hearts. I learnt from a young age not to accept cheating, emotional or physical abuse as the norm. I also learnt to be independent and content. This certainly helped me to make wise relationship decisions. When a woman knows her self worth, she will not take crap from anyone. She will know how to attract and keep a real man who loves and respects her.

This makes a lot of sense. Nice one!

marriages begin to crumble when the title of husband or wife enters the head too much and forgetting the title of friends, something they once started as. i am yet to hear of a male beating up his female friend.

JewelStone:
Yeah there are few instances where women abuse men and I don't condone that either. But in a patriarchal society such as Nigeria, we have to agree that women are most times at the receiving end of abuses.

This thread is about encouraging women to stop enduring domestic violence and other forms of abuses, go open a new thread to moan about how men are ignored

Out of every 20 married men in nigeria, 12 are verbally and mentally abused by their wives, in some cases they get physically abused as well... you dont get to hear about it because most men who are victims are ashamed to voice out.

Hmnnn

egbabiekperemo1:
Women also abuse men, its very unfortunate that the society fails to talk about it

Its because men can't be victims, just like how men can't be raped, it's one of those raw deals you get when you become a man, so we suck it up. It only plays out when we act out about it.

pcguru1:
Its because men can't be victim, just like how men can't be raped, it's on of those raw deals you get when you become a man, so we suck it up. It only plays out when we act out about it.

Hmmmmn....