₦airaland Forum

If you don't want your aunt's death better for her not to go back. The man is unstable and unpredictable. Your family should get a good lawyer and file for legal separation first. Divorce can come later.

Divorce is d way out. She shud get a job or start a small scale business and forget abt getting married again for now and jst focus on her kids. If she makes d mistake of going back she will sure regret it I can guarantee her.

ExInferis:
It took me 15 mins to untangle the relationship in ur headline.

it is most likely you have a low IQ then.

I think the man is depressed. He needs to see a doctor. Your family should not release your aunt to him until he has been treated else he will end up killing her. Also I suggest your aunt should start working, this will allow her to be independent and also relieve the man of financial burden which might be a factor or cause of the man depression.

Her husband needs to undergo some psychological evaluation first

My mum told me my dad has never raised his hand on her. I have resolved never to beat my wife too. Baba God abeg give me better wife.


Genius J

MrEgbegbe:

Your Aunt had sex with the neighbor and probably had a son for the neighbor

You think a husband would wake up one day and start accusing his wife ?? The husband has seen something that made his suspect that the child is not his

Maybe the husband didn't sleep with your Aunt for 2 months and your Aunt suddenly jumped out of nowhere to say she's pregnant

And you think a woman would stand to take that kind of accusation without leaving the husband the following day ??

She's even volunteering to pay for the DNA

The husband should get a DNA and divorce that lying ass good for nothing Aunt

Bros, no conclude like that. I once dated a guy who has this type of attitude, if I receive call n am all smile, the person is my boyfriend, an uncle of mine, he called my sugar Daddy. If you treat his friends well, you are dating them, if not what could make you guys flow like this, this guy was the first guy, I ever dated in my life. During our courtship, he practically told me that any of his child, who does not look like him is a bastard. My first child now, is my replica, imagine I married such a guy, it's going to be this kind of story.I cld not continue with this kind of acquisation, both went separate ways, before he will wake up one day and tell me this child is not mine.

Advise to Ladies, Don't marry an insecure Man, If you are dating an insecure man, Run Before it's too late.

op dis film na who produce am, on a serious note if ur sister knows what is gud for her let her stick to getting a divorce life nor get photocopy ooh

Violence is a big Nono they can go and first do the DNA test and put the ugly thoughts of infidelity away for good. If they don't tomorrow the same thing will happen when he looks at the boy. After that they can now decide if they are truly done or at least willing to go to counseling on how they can improve their relationship to raise their children.

The wife looks more outgoing than the husband and we as a nation have to be careful idleness is still the devils workshop

Never keep the children from their parents supervise visits but they need stability as well

Make sure your aunty gets a job first before moving back to the man's house. She needs to be empowered first. Pls forget about the man plea for now. She needs a job! That is her power!!!

mayoor15:
know you have a father, hope he isn't a nigerian, if he is then from inference, its suffice to say your dad is also useless just like other nigerian men. God gave you brains, try and use it before commenting

Eff off

[s]

MrEgbegbe:

Your Aunt had sex with the neighbor and probably had a son for the neighbor

You think a husband would wake up one day and start accusing his wife ?? The husband has seen something that made his suspect that the child is not his

Maybe the husband didn't sleep with your Aunt for 2 months and your Aunt suddenly jumped out of nowhere to say she's pregnant

And you think a woman would stand to take that kind of accusation without leaving the husband the following day ??

She's even volunteering to pay for the DNA

The husband should get a DNA and divorce that lying ass good for nothing Aunt

[/s]
You're sick just like the husband in question. Pathetic!

Too many fúckboys venturing into marriage

irrefragable:
it is most likely you have a low IQ then.

Or most likely you're just plain idiotic.

reyscrub:
Let your aunt reveal the true father and the guy not yet convince, then do the DNA test now. Simple.

Let the accuser pay for the test then. That's how it should be unless you don't know the weight of this accusation. It is enough to break the marriage itself.

Philpham:
Eff off

lols,lmao

Philpham:
This is one of the problems of marrying a black man, they lack common sense and have way too much ego. If he is serious about his son not being his, he should do paternity test na but yet he refuses, I swear he needs serious slap. I suspect the husband is cheating and is looking for a way to end his marriage and bring the girlfriend in. Nigerian men are usually like that, she should leave that man, he is no good. Women should stop wasting time with use.less men.

this is exactly what we are suspecting. He might prolly have someone else outside he is seeing

toyetade:
Have you heard the other side of the story. The man cannot suddenly be calling for DNA if the wife have been 100% trustworthy. There is a gap in the story. The fact that the wife is not working also make her suspicious to immorality as devil find work for an idle hand. The Op will not report this. Also may be the husband want her to be working but the wife has not been able to find work to do and so it is easier to say the husband don't want her to be working.

didn't you read the part where I said the man refused to agree to the DNA test as my aunt was pushing for it? She would have done it if she had money just to prove to him.

rosalieene:
Your Opinion Is Needed Please Help


My aunt(mum's last sibling) has been having issues with her husband since she got married. She has two kids, a girl(2 yrs old) and a boy(1 yr old). The girl looks like her husband, the boy looks like her husband's brother.

Apart from the other issues they have been having, there is a particular issue that tore them apart. When the boy was born, the husband has been accusing her of sleeping with a man who stays in the same house with them (a room was leased to him), he said the man is the real father of the son.

My aunt asked for a DNA test to be ran but then he shouted and was saying will she provide the money for the test. Least I forget, my aunt isn't doing anything since she got married to him. He didn't want her to work but to depend on him. Most times he doesn't give her money for feeding and upkeep..she usually run to my uncles(her brothers) they give her money. It was also because of him my granny died( she developed high bp when she came for omugwo because of the way she was treated, everyday she comes to my house and my mum gives her food).

Due to the accusations and other issues, last month instead of a DNA test, the hubby ran a genotype and blood group test and his matched with the little baby's own. later on, the man kept on insisting that the little boy is not his son as he calls him "Dada" instead of "daddy".

This time around he started accusing my aunt of sleeping with his brother and an Uncle of his. He even beats the children at any slight provocation.

On wednesday around midnight, 2:30am to be precise according to her, he came to her room and started dragging her, beating her up, strangling her, threatening to kill her even said he doesn't mind going to jail if he kills her. He was beating her and asking who was the father of the boy. He seized her phone too. Her eyes were swollen plus other injuries on her body.The next day when my uncles got to know what happened, they sent my sis to go help her pack up her stuffs and since then my aunt and her kids had been in my house. My uncles were looking for good divorce lawyers as my aunt has made up her mind not to go back to the hubby because she might die in his hands.

Last night the husband came to my house pleading, kneeling down, begging and crying. he refused to go home even till 10pm. he said he wanted his wife and kids back. he kept pleading for a second chance and kept saying he doesn't want to marry another wife... but my dad insisted he leaves the house. he was even denied access to his kids.I felt pity for the man.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful? or do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused. Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life. Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her? I am also confused on her behalf.

No oooooooooooo
U better support divorce this time.
Any second chance now ,na her corpse una go carry come back.

Joavid:
You're not serious.



It's her decision to make. It's not yours or ours. and you all should stop confusing her with your opinions.
she's the one suffering in the marriage.



If all you wrote above is true, then he doesn't. Giving him a second chance is giving him a pass to kill your Anuty.


I hope she Never listens to you advice cos you're a very confused human being.


Did she hire you to plan her life or are you God?

She's yet to decide on a divorce, she's yet to get back on her feet and you're talking about remarry?

I love the way you reason. are you still single?

Na you wan marry your Aunt now? Abegi, allow him go with the wife. Meanwhile, find job give am, the man needs to be busy else n.a. him go kill your aunt one day o

Raine80:
Two things. You are not your aunt unless of course you are your aunt and this is your way of getting advice?
Sometimes it's better to take a step back and let her make her own choices. She cannot live her life through your fears neither can the rest of the family dictate what happens. Well they can ( its Africa after all)In most instances a cycle forms and there is a lot of back and forth. What's important for her is stability and the welfare of her children. She needs a way of earning a living. This notion of being looked after like a pedigree pet is not sustainable. She needs to be her own person focus on her children and life after this marriage. Worrying about her getting married again is quite improper. She has not even got over her first hurdle as a manner of speaking.

"we cannot live our lives through the fears of others" . These are pure words of wisdom.

peacettw:
I don't like dishing any advice especially since I believe that no 2 scenario is the same but in this case, I will write an epistle.

I must say that what your aunt needs the most now is her family's support. @op,I hope for your aunt's sake that your concerns for her albeit not entirely misplaced is not been aired in the open to her hearing. She already knows this so doesn't need to hear it from you or any other member of the family.

Right now, focus more on building her self esteem and making sure she and her kids are well looked after. Take her to a doctor and document with pictures all bruises. A Lawyer should also be consulted and that DNA done ASAP. Help her to get a job now ever before she goes back to her husband.

Entertain the husband for now by listening to his antics but also let him know that his wife needs time to heal and reconciliation done thereafter especiallly when the DNA result is out. Divorce should be the last option but then again don't ever make the man think he is indispensable. Your job is is the do the exact opp which is to let him know THAT YOUR AUNT CAN SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM.

Above all, the outcome should ensure that your aunt finds her confidence, self esteem and voice after this ordeal, otherwise be ready for a vicious cycle with ur aunt as the losing party.

Thanks for this great advice!!!

rosalieene:
Your Opinion Is Needed Please Help


My aunt(mum's last sibling) has been having issues with her husband since she got married. She has two kids, a girl(2 yrs old) and a boy(1 yr old). The girl looks like her husband, the boy looks like her husband's brother.

Apart from the other issues they have been having, there is a particular issue that tore them apart. When the boy was born, the husband has been accusing her of sleeping with a man who stays in the same house with them (a room was leased to him), he said the man is the real father of the son.

My aunt asked for a DNA test to be ran but then he shouted and was saying will she provide the money for the test. Least I forget, my aunt isn't doing anything since she got married to him. He didn't want her to work but to depend on him. Most times he doesn't give her money for feeding and upkeep..she usually run to my uncles(her brothers) they give her money. It was also because of him my granny died( she developed high bp when she came for omugwo because of the way she was treated, everyday she comes to my house and my mum gives her food).

Due to the accusations and other issues, last month instead of a DNA test, the hubby ran a genotype and blood group test and his matched with the little baby's own. later on, the man kept on insisting that the little boy is not his son as he calls him "Dada" instead of "daddy".

This time around he started accusing my aunt of sleeping with his brother and an Uncle of his. He even beats the children at any slight provocation.

On wednesday around midnight, 2:30am to be precise according to her, he came to her room and started dragging her, beating her up, strangling her, threatening to kill her even said he doesn't mind going to jail if he kills her. He was beating her and asking who was the father of the boy. He seized her phone too. Her eyes were swollen plus other injuries on her body.The next day when my uncles got to know what happened, they sent my sis to go help her pack up her stuffs and since then my aunt and her kids had been in my house. My uncles were looking for good divorce lawyers as my aunt has made up her mind not to go back to the hubby because she might die in his hands.

Last night the husband came to my house pleading, kneeling down, begging and crying. he refused to go home even till 10pm. he said he wanted his wife and kids back. he kept pleading for a second chance and kept saying he doesn't want to marry another wife... but my dad insisted he leaves the house. he was even denied access to his kids.I felt pity for the man.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful? or do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused. Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life. Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her? I am also confused on her behalf.

Anybody that has the guts to deny his own offsprings even after test deserves no second chance to me let alone someone that batters his wife over it.

rosalieene:
Your Opinion Is Needed Please Help


My aunt(mum's last sibling) has been having issues with her husband since she got married. She has two kids, a girl(2 yrs old) and a boy(1 yr old). The girl looks like her husband, the boy looks like her husband's brother.

Apart from the other issues they have been having, there is a particular issue that tore them apart. When the boy was born, the husband has been accusing her of sleeping with a man who stays in the same house with them (a room was leased to him), he said the man is the real father of the son.

My aunt asked for a DNA test to be ran but then he shouted and was saying will she provide the money for the test. Least I forget, my aunt isn't doing anything since she got married to him. He didn't want her to work but to depend on him. Most times he doesn't give her money for feeding and upkeep..she usually run to my uncles(her brothers) they give her money. It was also because of him my granny died( she developed high bp when she came for omugwo because of the way she was treated, everyday she comes to my house and my mum gives her food).

Due to the accusations and other issues, last month instead of a DNA test, the hubby ran a genotype and blood group test and his matched with the little baby's own. later on, the man kept on insisting that the little boy is not his son as he calls him "Dada" instead of "daddy".

This time around he started accusing my aunt of sleeping with his brother and an Uncle of his. He even beats the children at any slight provocation.

On wednesday around midnight, 2:30am to be precise according to her, he came to her room and started dragging her, beating her up, strangling her, threatening to kill her even said he doesn't mind going to jail if he kills her. He was beating her and asking who was the father of the boy. He seized her phone too. Her eyes were swollen plus other injuries on her body.The next day when my uncles got to know what happened, they sent my sis to go help her pack up her stuffs and since then my aunt and her kids had been in my house. My uncles were looking for good divorce lawyers as my aunt has made up her mind not to go back to the hubby because she might die in his hands.

Last night the husband came to my house pleading, kneeling down, begging and crying. he refused to go home even till 10pm. he said he wanted his wife and kids back. he kept pleading for a second chance and kept saying he doesn't want to marry another wife... but my dad insisted he leaves the house. he was even denied access to his kids.I felt pity for the man.

Now, do you think he deserves a second chance? do you think he was really remorseful? or do you think she should go on with the divorce case? she is really at cross roads now and confused. Me for one, I don't support divorce but I don't expect someone to keep tolerating domestic violence and loose her life. Do you think she would remarry after the divorce? she had operation during the birth of her kids so she is not really in good shape so do you think any man will look at her? I am also confused on her behalf.

It is well

[quote author=rosalieene post=55384798][/quote]serious insecurity. Op is the man educated?

Joavid:
You're not serious.



It's her decision to make. It's not yours or ours. and you all should stop confusing her with your opinions.
she's the one suffering in the marriage.



If all you wrote above is true, then he doesn't. Giving him a second chance is giving him a pass to kill your Anuty.


I hope she Never listens to you advice cos you're a very confused human being.


Did she hire you to plan her life or are you God?

She's yet to decide on a divorce, she's yet to get back on her feet and you're talking about remarry?

Hmmm! Talk about slaying! you garrit! Dammmn!

rosalieene:
Thanks for this great advice!!!

Thanks. Sadly, this same scenario happened to someone dear to me. We initially believed the man had changed after he knelt down crying forgetting that a leopard does not suddenly change its spots. The abuse not only continued but got worse since he thought the woman had nowhere to turn to (hence the reason for a strong family unit and support).

We learnt overtime that the best way to address the sordid issue was to make her financially independent. That alone gave her the needed self esteem and finally that choice to either live independently or go back to her spouse. Once the man understood that he wasn't needed anymore, he piped down and what do you know actually changed for the better.


I must warn you that this change didn't happen overnight as often seen in the movies. It took years. Years of healing and building of all what was torn down. I am glad it ended well. I wish your aunt the same.

There's no truth in what he said o.if she goes bk to that house, the next news you'll hear is obituary but God forbid. The man has a psychological problem and should visit yaba left asap.

I would never trust your aunt's life to that man again. His pleading may just be a camouflage to finally kill the woman. If a paternity test can be conducted to rest this case, good else, I would say your aunt shouldn't move back. From your description, she is not even enjoying the marriage sef. The paternity issue is just a part of it.

I pray she has enough brains to make the best decision for herself which is to get divorced else we will be typing RIP soon, God forbid

This type of person will soon kill his wife. She should leave and start her own life while the man should be made to pay for the upbringing of the children till she is okay

Make una leave me, I nor go marry again o :'who be my baby mama , I get money, I trowey swag