Note this is an aftershot of these threads - https://www.nairaland.com/3750699/problem-wife-could-problem-here/1 and https://www.nairaland.com/3371723/solved

thelish, Felicity2 homerac7 5minsmadness KevinDein Harpesin Jahblessme Dyt thorpido shaybebaby dytbabe Souljaboi1 millyj knowme toyeem Acheron Eddodoh hortgun LadyMercedes freshvine mrjojo Tritri bukatyne lohresloco precised cococandy SirVintageCock Ozugbo Sparkles003 Yomieluv dino2006 azuson iyiolaoluwa RENOWNED2 forlahkhe sexymoma filani Jdazzle schumastic afanide Creamish Ginaz Vorpal seyigiggle Iamhatey PaperLace KingEbukasBlog austine4real debbydee Mznaett

[url]=https://www.nairaland.com/3371723/solved/]When I started this thread last year[/url], almost 8 months ago now, people like Ujoan who has now deleted her account or changed her username criticised me without probing deeper to find out that I am not the problem ( and if I am she should bloody say it ).

Fast forward almost a year later, he is what has happened

1. I confronted her after this thread and things were okayish for one week then went to status quo. I actually started seriously giving attention to various girls ( all over the phone no physical contact so far bar one who came all the way to Lagos to Ibadan and used the opportunity to see me, all lasted less than 30 minutes ).

2. In February someone called her and as I was not using phone ( due to family wanting to kill me with one financial problem to the other ) and was receiving calls via her phone, I thought the call was mine but first took the phone to her but met her and my baby sleeping. I went back to watching my football but the person persisted and I answered. Him " Hello B...." Me " this is not B...." and he immediately hung up. I was like why will he do that. When my wife woke up about 2 hours later I told her someone called. She claimed she does not know the number and called back and said she doesn't know the person. And I told her but he mentioned your name B... before discovering it was me.

That denial made me have doubts. I checked the call records and found out they talked for 30 seconds and 41 seconds on two different ocassions. I immediately felt something was fishy. I asked her and she stated blackmailing me saying I am accusing her of cheating ( of which I had in my mind but I knew it is impossible for her to cheat as since we relocated and even when we were in Lagos she was always 100% with me but I felt maybe her ex was calling or something ). She called back the guy who said he was calling his niece or whatever who happens to bear the same name. An excuse I did not buy especially consider the person had called earlier on two different ocassions which she answered, if anything she would have told me the person called before and it was not her he wanted to talk to. And to be sure, as her brother leaves with us, I called him to ask where he was ( off course I knew he was not with us on the dates the calls were received but wanted to be sure ) on so and so dates and he confirmed he was in school. Which means the call was never his. After arguing back and fort I sent a text to the guy saying " you called someone's number, the call was answered and you called out their name, discover it was not them but rather their husband and you hung up" I then went on true caller saw his name as Taiwo and searched for his facebook profile using his phone number which I found - they both went to the same school.

I actually forgot it all, as I was 100% sure and I still am, that she is not cheating on me, there is simply no chance for that as I am almost always 100% at home ( I work from home as I explained before ) and she is 100% at home too.

The whole calling thing happened on Saturday. On Saturday night I tried to make love to her which she rejected and I slept angrily. On Sunday everything was fine and I even joked with her saying I shouldn't have been talking to her as she was yet to apologise and we just laughed over it and forgot it all.

Continued below

Then around 2pm on Monday, she sent her brother to bring her phone to me in the room where I was observing my normal 2 hours break before resuming work for the day. Low and behold there was a message from her guy and It was a long 6 pages message full of insults. I was shocked that my wife could see such a message and have the audacity to even show it to me. I kept my calm but wrote the guy saying "Assumming it is yourself ( he is married ) that someone called, you picked they called her your wife's name and then when they discover it was you, they hunged up and then your wife also denied knowing the said person when in actually both he and your wife had actually talked on phone on two different ocassions", how will you feel. Like an hour later the guy called ( or maybe my wife called ) and after the call she came to me saying in yoruba "iwo jebi to reply e" it was like calling someone a bastard for doing something. And I felt very insulted and wanted to beat her up but I immediately remembered the promise I made to myself than ever to let a woman ruin my record. There and then I decided to leave home and end the marriage.

I went to the ATM ( we use same bank account ) withdrew 100k, sent 30k to her via her sister's boyfriend who came around at the time and I and my driver headed for Lagos. She didn't bother with me for the first 3 days.

I narrated everything to her mother via whatsapp because I felt she needs someone to mentor her. But she read it and never replied. And considering it was not the first time I had to report her with nothing done, I talked to couple of people who were all trying to tell me which was cheating she I flatly rejected and then my god mother said something "You can't divorce her but you may have to pad this for a very long time as from all indication no one can or is willing to talk to her if after you reported to her mother on different ocassions nothing is done". I immediately got the courage to seek for divorce but made a mistake, went to the local government were we had our registry in Lagos and told me what I wanted.

They talked and talked and talked and even at a stage made me feel like I am the problem as they ( about five of them ) told me someone just left who was hell bent on a divorce like me but after talking to his wife, they discovered he was the problem and ended up appologising. I could not sleep that night but still wanted the divorce.

As I went to my family house ( told her sister's boyfriend I will be in an hotel in a bid to see if that will compel her to apologise ) my parents started suspecting something was wrong as I had never travelled without my wife and kid before. My mother called her and their suspicion was confirmed by I refused to discuss it with her. After everything the registry called her and she was told by everyone she is behaving like someone who doesn't want to be married. I was begged by everyone including her father to let her be for now and that everything will change.

3. Three months later now, nothing as changed. Only thing that has changed is she is less, far less ( I must say ) disrespectful but I am still a cellibated married man. She ensures she doesn't go to bed until maybe 12am ( by when I would have slept ) and fill her time with different things to ensure we do not have any sexual contact. Last month, by fire by force I had sex with my wife 4 times in total. I even at a time suggested the child should stay with her parents for 1 week so we can spend quality time together as it is what she keeps using as excuse which she rejected. My daughter became 1 year old on April 18 and considering it was 2 weeks ( at the time ) we last had anything sexual together ( not even kissing, I stopped trying to strike as I kept getting rejected ) I kissed her and tried to turn her on after the whole picture snapping thing ( we didn't celebrate the birthday as we both feel she doesn't know what's being done hence no point to waste money so it was not as if she was tired from working or anything ). After kissing her ( had to hold her head to avoid her stopping me ) she gave the excuse of that their is heat ( our gen needed service that afternoon and we couldn't reach the guy ), I immediately told my driver and her brother to take the gen to wherever they can service it. Night came, I was watching a football match and immediately I finished I went into the room to meet her ( around 9pm ) immediately I came and probably she sensing something will happen, she took the laptop with which she was watching a movie on youth and went straight to the parlour.

So people what do you reckon I do after this whole thing.

Mehn.. U have to pay me to read this..

Mr Man, Nobody, i repeat nobody on Nairaland can make your marriage work. No amount of advice here can make your marriage work. You know why? Nobody here knows you and your wife's true character upon which we can premise and profer solution. Btw, your wife hasnt told us her own side of the story. The time you use to come here to type all these can be used to go with your wife for some isolated vacation and try to make amends. There must be some way of getting through to her soul to effect reversal. You divorce today, then get ready to divorce again and again and even again. Like someone said, "it rains everywhere". So never you think that there are marriages without its own challenges. Everyone walks down that road at some point in time. It depends on how much you are willing to endure. But most times endurance and patience carries the day.
When ever i read stuff like this i feel pity for the unmarried ones who gets the wrong message and start being skeptical about marriage. More worrysome and stupid is that some married folks too read this kinda stuff and start judging their marriage by the advices given here.
Leave Nairaland now and go take your wife to somewhere you two will be alone for soul searching. Be the man by showing more wisdom and wit. Wish you success.

izzou pocohantas alexialin Mummyjoy psucc Zdoh Lexusgs430 babyme1 Ginaz 12inches1 pcguru1 debbyaustine teemy nursennenny vicben27 SlowlybtSurely Lionessza bukatyne sweetilicious FortuneTeller earthrealm daylyt RIH345 BoboYekini

Oga you are the problem. You have an ego and you believe only you can be right.

Pls divorce her you hear? Rather than communicating with her to diagnose why she doesn't find you srxually attractive and resolving it you choose to rape and then divorce your wife.

Mr prince charming, sir lancelot , knight in shining armour!! You spent time sexting and chatting girls and even hooking up with them yet you want to divorce ur wife cos another man gives her attention...mtsheewww. please put her out of the misery so that another man who will understand and appreciate her will wife her

keepingmum:
Oga you are the problem. You have an ego and you believe only you can be right.

Pls divorce her you hear? Rather than communicating with her to diagnose why she doesn't find you srxually attractive and resolving it you choose to rape and then divorce your wife.

Mr prince charming, sir lancelot , knight in shining armour!! You spent time sexting and chatting girls and even hooking up with them yet you want to divorce ur wife cos another man gives her attention...mtsheewww. please put her out of the misery so that another man who will understand and appreciate her will wife her

Did you read at all? I think you should read the previous threads before you judge. And you don't need to be insulting to pass across your message.

keepingmum:
Oga you are the problem. You have an ego and you believe only you can be right.

Pls divorce her you hear? Rather than communicating with her to diagnose why she doesn't find you srxually attractive and resolving it you choose to rape and then divorce your wife.

Mr prince charming, sir lancelot , knight in shining armour!! You spent time sexting and chatting girls and even hooking up with them yet you want to divorce ur wife cos another man gives her attention...mtsheewww. please put her out of the misery so that another man who will understand and appreciate her will wife her

Quoted for you is the the first thread

Good morning and happy Monday to you all. I am here to seek the matured advise of nairalanders. I want matured advise from people who are married please.

I recently got married and we have a little baby who is 5 months old. I love my wife and my baby, you only need to spend few hours with us before you know this fact. Unfortunately I am dying inside.

Before I got married, myself and my then girlfriend and now wife have no issues with sex. We had sex at will and it is usually fun. But ever since we got married, I have been denied sex. At first I thought I am the one who has a problem but I have asked many people ever since then and I have found out I am normal. I initially expect us to have sex every day - I am my own boss and work from home most times, but had to adjust to 3 days a week for her sake.

But even the 3 times is never existent. Sometimes once a week. And the annoying thing is not the lack of sex but the way the NO is said. Almost like "I own my body and decide when I want sex". I have only ever denied her sex 2 times since we knew each other. Both times after we got married. The first time cos I was not feeling too fine due to stress of work the second time because I wanted her to see how it feels when you get no as answer in a very disrespectful way.

I have not worked since August, because I decided to take a two months break thinking we will have time for ourselves, unfortunately the reverse is the case. Always an excuse not to have sex.

Secondly, I am the type who likes early breakfast. I ideally want break fast before 8am but cos of her, I shifted it to 9am but as I type this, it is 10:48am and my break fast is not ready. And this is not a one off, but almost an every day thing. And each time I bring it up, it leads to fight and keeping malice. What do I do? I hate malice, I prefer to die than to keep malice with someone but my wife seems to use this tool against me. Keeping malice is my greatest weak point. I just hate it.

Note - she is not working. I have a building project costing us over 20 million naira which has made us decide she should not work till we finish early next year. Aside the baby, no other work and even with the baby, she has as many as 3 people helping her - her sister, her little brother and a family friend of hers.

keepingmum:
Oga you are the problem. You have an ego and you believe only you can be right.

Pls divorce her you hear? Rather than communicating with her to diagnose why she doesn't find you srxually attractive and resolving it you choose to rape and then divorce your wife.

Mr prince charming, sir lancelot , knight in shining armour!! You spent time sexting and chatting girls and even hooking up with them yet you want to divorce ur wife cos another man gives her attention...mtsheewww. please put her out of the misery so that another man who will understand and appreciate her will wife her

Now here the second.

Hi all. Sorry to bother you all with this but I am sincerely confused and beginning to think maybe something is wrong with me.

The issue is, I am in my second year of marriage and have a one year old kid ( was 1 yesterday). I love my wife and my child but things are getting messy with my wife over sex issues.

I want to make love with my wife at least 3 times a week. But most times I will be lucky if I have it 4 times a month. For instance, this month, I have only had sex once.

Is it not normal for one to want to have sex with his legal wife 3 times a week? Note she is not working. The only work is the child and she has me and two others ( her relatives) helping with carrying the child and caring for the child). What scares me is that in 5 months time she will start working as soon as the child enters school. I am worried once she starts working sex will no longer be on the agenda.

Aside the fact that we don't have sex as often as I would want, she prefers backing me while sleeping and when my complaints was much, she decided to stay put our kid in the middle rather than in her cot. We had to gift out the baby cot months back when the baby started refusing the her bed as she prefers for obvious reasons.

Yesterday we kissed for the first time in over a month, it was getting hot then she came up with an excuse that there is heat ( our generator was at the time being serviced and there was no light). I let her go in the night when there was light, immediately I came in, she moved to the parlour to watch TV.

She also point blankly told me to seek pleasure elsewhere when I told her if she continues this way I will have to get sex elsewhere.

Now my question is, is 3 times a week normal? Or am I the problem?

Mr perfect husband, you were told severally on that thread dt 3x a week is more than reasonable but e no do u.
Since u ain't hearing what you want to hear then u keep populating the site with variations of your libido satisfying needs to your contentment.
You even disrespected her mum by typing out grievances on towards divorce on WhatsApp and then have the guts to be angry she didn't respond. Don't you have elders in your village?
When you wanted to marry was it through WhatsApp you expressed ur interest to her family?
Go through my posts on nairaland and u will see I rarely post X2 on the same thread as I don't engage in exchanges/arguments

You are too proud and selfish,You kept on saying you want her to apologize, why? What is wrong if you apologize and talk things out. She is not cheating but with all this behaviour of yours you will push her away... Don't make a mistake you will regret your entire life. You talk about the sex issue like you have all the right to do it every time and anytime you like. She is protesting that's why she is acting up,why not come down from your high horse and speak to her from the dept of your heart.....
Also, I can see you are very proud and rude to your in-laws, because the world has gone global doesn't give you the effontery to talk to your in Law on whatsapp. Check your manners it's gone

adorablepepple:
You are too proud and selfish,You kept on saying you want her to apologize, why? What is wrong if you apologize and talk things out. She is not cheating but with all this behaviour of yours you will push her away... Don't make a mistake you will regret your entire life. You talk about the sex issue like you have all the right to do it every time and anytime you like. She is protesting that's why she is acting up,why not come down from your high horse and speak to her from the dept of your heart.....
Also, I can see you are very proud and rude to your in-laws, because the world has gone global doesn't give you the effontery to talk to your in Law on whatsapp. Check your manners it's gone

What is wrong in me wanting breakfast before 9am? When she is not working and have me and others constantly helping with the baby? We have known each other for 4 years and she often come to me every Monday and then leave Friday as she was a part time student, she has never for once had reasons to go to the market. I take her list and go for her simply because she made it clear she doesn't like it.

She might not be cheating but what she is doing is worst. Let me ask you supposing lady calls your husband, immediately she hears your voice they hanged up then your husband says he doesn't know her whereas your husband and said person have talked on two different ocassions as the call record clearly showed then you let sleeping dog lie then the lady sends you a very insulting message and rather than your husband who saw the message first to delete it and warn the lady not to send such to you, he asked someone to come and show you the message and was even saying sorry to the said lady over the phone right in front of you ( heaven bears me witness on this) whereas he has not apologised to you. How will you feel?

And what makes you think I have not spoken to her? I lived all my life in Lagos, but relocated because of her and her complains, do you honestly think I would not have talked to her before doing that?

Do you think I don't love her and I marry her? If I love her as I am sure you will know from reading the 3 threads what makes you think I won't first talk to her heart to heart before involving her father? And if I am the problem how come she hasn't spoken up to her father and mother who must have in turn spoken to me. I am closer to her father than I am to my own father couldn't he have talked to me?

The registry went as far as involving both of our parents ( though I abstractly ended it when I discovered my mom was fed up and will ruin it all) could I have deceived them all? 5 of them the youngest at least 40?

I can understand if she is not able to have sex 3 times per week but I can't understand she saying it rudely or my breakfast not being ready by 9am or not waking up for morning prayers.

And the whatsapp part what makes you think it is only on whatsapp that it was done? I needed to explain everything in details to her and it can only be done in detailed by writing it out.

Okay let's assume for once I did something wrong, how come she didn't say anything about it at all? Especially considering that I had involved her on two different occasions? And on both occasions my wife was not even talked to, I know cos I asked my wife on both occasions and my mother inlaw herself confirmed it. How else do I approach her? She leaves in Lagos I leave in Ibadan, she is either in church or doing her political stuff.

If you want I will give you her phone number ask her anything you want and come up with the truth of the matter yourself.

This is serious.... I will advise you to take her along to visit a good marriage counsellor.... All I can deduce from ur post is lack of communication, pride n Ego....... No one is perfect

adviserseeker:
Note this is an aftershot of these threads - https://www.nairaland.com/3750699/problem-wife-could-problem-here/1 and https://www.nairaland.com/3371723/solved

Hello bro,
So I read through your threads, Wheeew, long story short, you married a tough woman. The summary of it all is that her behaviour and yours are not at par, you married a woman you cannot control unless you change your ways and from what you have said you are not a harsh husband. So there are two options for you. I'm not mentioning the phone saga as she would not have reacted in that way if you were A HARSH kind of man. From all indications she don see you finish. A strange man calls your wife and she couldn't proffer any decent excuse, rather just waved you off like a fly? Not wanting to annoy you any further but like I said, you have two options.

1. Quietly seek a divorce. This is the easy way out. Tell her firmly that you and her are not compatible and you have decided to give her the freedom she has worked so hard for. there is a way a woman respects a man and I'm sorry to say bro, she hasn't been exhibiting it. She doesn't even want to kiss you talk less of have sex with you? Men need love too. Set her free and settle how to take care of your kids. They didn't raise her up well on how to take care of a man.

2. Change your ways. Take your marriage as a do-or-die affair. Realise your honour is at stake. Withdraw all comforts from her when she misbehaves and tell her she will not get those comforts back unless she complies. All men desire sex, sex is important and shouldn't be begged for, especially in marriage. Even if she is not in the mood she can give it to you out of the love she has for you, there is a reason the bible tells the wife not to withhold herself from her husband. She should give you the sex it is not as if you are asking for her kidney. Also when she does not do what you want like preparing your breakfast, refuse to eat until she does so, Don't let her out of the kitchen and you yourself don't leave the house.Put your foot down and see whether heaven will fall. both of you will starve there and not go out until something gives. Authority has to be shown. If she hates you so much why hasn't she sought for a divorce herself? Someone on the other thread said you are just a giver to her and it seems to be true. One baby being taken care of by a sister, a brother (and a nanny) at one time? And she still doesn't have time for you? Reporting to her parents and they don't at least reply your message? You are the one doing them a favour bro, open your eyes and see it. If you want your marriage to work then become harsh and mould her until she decides to run or she changes to suit you.

adviserseeker:


Three months later now, nothing as changed. Only thing that has changed is she is less, far less ( I must say ) disrespectful but I am still a celibate married man. She ensures she doesn't go to bed until maybe 12am ( by when I would have slept ) and fill her time with different things to ensure we do not have any sexual contact. Last month, by fire by force I had sex with my wife 4 times in total. I even at a time suggested the child should stay with her parents for 1 week so we can spend quality time together as it is what she keeps using as excuse which she rejected. My daughter became 1 year old on April 18 and considering it was 2 weeks ( at the time ) we last had anything sexual together ( not even kissing, I stopped trying to strike as I kept getting rejected ) I kissed her and tried to turn her on after the whole picture snapping thing ( we didn't celebrate the birthday as we both feel she doesn't know what's being done hence no point to waste money so it was not as if she was tired from working or anything ). After kissing her ( had to hold her head to avoid her stopping me ) she gave the excuse of that their is heat ( our gen needed service that afternoon and we couldn't reach the guy ), I immediately told my driver and her brother to take the gen to wherever they can service it. Night came, I was watching a football match and immediately I finished I went into the room to meet her ( around 9pm ) immediately I came and probably she sensing something will happen, she took the laptop with which she was watching a movie on youth and went straight to the parlour.

So people what do you reckon I do after this whole thing.

Meanwhile, you should know that your problem is not unique. Most women have a sudden drop in libido soon after marriage. This can leave a lot of men hanging dry and sexually frustrated , which is why you hear of a lot of infidelity soon after the knot is tied. Also, depending on the character of you and your wife, this issue will be handled differently. You have the woman whose libido have dropped but who have had enough experience with men to know that sex is important and they try to keep giving it to him even when they are not in the mood (Which is why most times men are the ones asking for sex and not the other way around). But you also have the woman who is not mature enough to resolve issues amicably and shouts NO! as if her husband wants to rape her, leaving the man feeling very hurt. On the other side of the coin you have the man who is understanding enough to know that his wife is not as sexually active as she used to be and tries to accomodate her into his repertoire by being more romantic. You also have the man who will feel cheated that he no longer has amazing sex and starts to look for it outside. Maturity on both sides will help a lot here and also some frank talk.

Here are some links that might help you understand further:

Marriage advice: Low Libido in women
http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/are-women-meant-marry

Why do women lose their sexual desire?
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/loss-of-sexual-desire-in-women#1

Sex within marriage: Why some women have decrease in sex drive.
http://www.outcrybookreview.com/sexandmarriage.htm


All in all, it takes a lot of patience and wisdom on your part. I am addressing you because your wife isn't here to read this. It might be a good idea to give her some of the links to read in her spare time(When she's not making up her face, Lol). But honestly you need to exert some form of authority and be patient at the same time if you want things to work out. It won't be easy bro, but it can be done.

dingbang:
Mehn.. U have to pay me to read this..

Thank God for the public holiday. I read all.

The summary: husband suspects wife is cheating(no proof). The wife was later adviced on how to save her marriage. Now 3 months later, wife is no more allowing the husband to enter the place , a.k.a no sex.

Viking007:
Thank God for the public holiday. I read all.

The summary: husband suspects wife is cheating(no proof). The wife was later adviced on how to save her marriage. Now 3 months later, wife is no more allowing the husband to enter the place , a.k.a no sex.

lol make he go wankkk for toilet na.. Shuuoooo

dingbang:
lol make he go wankkk for toilet na.. Shuuoooo

Una no well!

Prognose:

Una no well!

lol wen hungry dey wire me here person want make I advise am.. Ha

dingbang:
lol wen hungry dey wire me here person want make I advise am.. Ha

No one forced you to reply I am sure.

Honestly ,whats your hygiene like ? Its very important for a healthy sex life.

adviserseeker:
No one forced you to reply I am sure.

All I am seeing here is, NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG. Sh!T.
If this is how you rant in real life believe me you are one hell of a barking dog that can't bite. No wonder she have not been listening to any of your sh!T.


Talk talk talk*!!!!!!!!!! Konji got your head rewired to mush.
Take your wife to a nice vacation spot devoid of what both of you are familiar with except yourselves and fvck her brains out. Wtf man .
Be creative instead of waggling your tail on nairaland and messing up the whole cyberspace with your pathetic stories.

Prognose:


Hello bro,
So I read through your threads, Wheeew, long story short, you married a tough woman. The summary of it all is that her behaviour and yours are not at par, you married a woman you cannot control unless you change your ways and from what you have said you are not a harsh husband. So there are two options for you. I'm not mentioning the phone saga as she would not have reacted in that way if you were A HARSH kind of man. From all indications she don see you finish. A strange man calls your wife and she couldn't proffer any decent excuse, rather just waved you off like a fly? Not wanting to annoy you any further but like I said, you have two options.

God bless u for the bold...

@Op i am afraid sex has reduced u to nothing, u ve lost your worth & respect in the eyes of your wife because of your shameless demand for sex...How can a married woman be communicating with another man under your nose & she even insulted u for questioning her....haba!!! wetin your wife give u chop that made u so weak? is it because of d sex? i feel for u bro....

When a woman start choosing when a man will have sex with her....d man should know d respect is gone...Any woman that truly respects her husband will never withhold sex from her husband deliberately....

Your wife seems to have a low libido, op.

Be that as it may, it is totally wrong to sexually starve your spouse. It is wrong, inhumane and dastardly. Jeez, do y'all realise what konji can do to a person's psyche? As for those saying the op is demeaning himself by demanding for sex, I hope you realise that sex is his conjugal right? It's a crime against man and God to deny your spouse sex. The Holy Books say so.

Op, this is what my elders would do: call family meeting before you die of sexual frustration.

It can't continue this way, though. They still have the rest of their lives ahead of them and Mr Oga cannot continue being celibate in his own home.

Mr advicerseeker kindly introduce madam to this Facebook user: Cynthia Raphaels. She's a marriage/sex counsellor and many times I actively avoid her page because of the very graphic descriptions.

There's also a popular Facebook page called Ila Otu: trans. _Pussy Sucking. I haven't had the nerve to visit the page because I don't want to fill my head with images that will haunt my very vivid imagination . Ila Otu, from what I've heard shares some hardcore Karma Sutra secrets for married couples. It's worth a trial.

In addition, you both need some counselling because e be like sey una two never ready for marriage. It's for better for worse and I strongly disbelieve that the problems you're facing calls for divorce.

Mr advicerseeker, seduce your woman.

Oga marriage is not a do or die affair.

If ain't working, then you divorce...Though it's not that easy..

But life goes on..

daylyt:
Oga marriage is not a do or die affair.

If ain't working, then you divorce...Though it's not that easy..

But life goes on..

Divorce? Just like that? Hmmk

Sadly,I think your wife doesn't share same level of sex with you.
Situations like this makes the other partner to feel very suspicious and isolated especially when she doesn't want it.

OR

She doesn't find you or JT attractive.

Btw,why not make it work instead of divorce?

Oga OP pls calm down, being with a man from morning till night, weeks after weeks n months after months is tiring for a woman. it breeds over familiarity, n makes life less romantic because there is no time to miss u n want to hv sex Wt u. oga I know u hv Monet but try to create d boundary of not being home all d time, don't be too stringent with ur breakfast, sometimes just surprise her n fix breakfast she will respect u more. ur wife seem like someone who is depressed from a boring lifestyle, because there is nothing interesting to do. try to spice ur home n get her something to take her mind off d home, if not a shop, probably a training, skills acquisition, eg make-up and gele etc, women like stuffs like dat. just try ur best again before u give up. am rooting for u.

Mimzyy:


Divorce? Just like that? Hmmk

No not just like that.. but if anyone in a marriage is thinking of divorce and has exhausted everything they could possibly do then, get a divorce. Sometimes people need to wipe the chalk board clean and start over. Life is too short to be miserable. Sometime we need to move on and make ourself happy.

I do believe in being happy so do you.

Lobastart ati lobatan...

janejive:
Oga OP pls calm down, being with a man from morning till night, weeks after weeks n months after months is tiring for a woman. it breeds over familiarity, n makes life less romantic because there is no time to miss u n want to hv sex Wt u. oga I know u hv Monet but try to create d boundary of not being home all d time, don't be too stringent with ur breakfast, sometimes just surprise her n fix breakfast she will respect u more. ur wife seem like someone who is depressed from a boring lifestyle, because there is nothing interesting to do. try to spice ur home n get her something to take her mind off d home, if not a shop, probably a training, skills acquisition, eg make-up and gele etc, women like stuffs like dat. just try ur best again before u give up. am rooting for u.

Very nice..

Sorry to say this, but Op you are the woman in the house. Begging your wife for sex is the lamest thing any man can do. Fuckkk your wife anywhere man, cos u paid for it. If she refuses, let her be and start talking with some new people especially ladies online. Meet with some and with time u won't be asking her for sx again cos u will be getting it elsewhere. When she realises u no longer asks her for sex, her brain go reset, but if she doesn't change too, continue till u won't even want to have sex with her again, and if possible leave her alone with her misery and spend time outside. Else my guy u will be so frustrated and get HBP. Forget all this women claiming that you are asking for too much sex as if you are not married. Sex everyday is not a crime. Guy enjoy your life and leave happy always and don't let anybody feed u with crap cos u are the man of the house, and not all the time u come online to tell people your problem, cos alot of them here knows nothing. Guy reason.

OP,
I have picked up many things about you. You like to paint yourself as perfect, but we all know you are far from it. That alone tells me that you don't admit your flaws and think you know best. Your wife just gave birth and is acting differently. Why have you not sat her down and try to understand what is wrong? Your wife could be suffering from Post partum depression. But here you are concerned about yourself, sex and food than the health or relationship with your wife.

Also, I personally think for a young marriage, too many family members are in that house. Let the nanny stay but the rest should leave. That nanny should not even spend the night in your house. You people need the time to be a family, it's very important.

Also, please get your wife busy so that she has a purpose. Marriage can be boring, and both of you in that house every waking moment must be tiring.

I see nothing wrong in the call your wife got. She obviously talked to that person for a very short time for you to be convinced she may have bad motives. That the guy dropped may show he has other motives, but that doesn't mean your wife sees him that way. Her inability to confide in you shows she did not want to deal with your jealousy and anger issues. That is more telling on you. A 43second call is obviously so short for anyone carrying on an affair. She has a right to be angry that you can't trust her.

OP, you need to grow up and maybe get an office outside your home. Your wife should also get a shop or a job. I wonder how you will date someone for 4yrs before marriage and still lack trust in the marriage. I am not here to point out your flaws but I hope you can figure them out from my writeup.

Pls stop with your threats of divorce because one day, she will be the one to file for divorce to leave you. Never contact her or your family members about your sex life or every disagreement in your house. It just shows that you are not qualified yet to be married. That should be the last resort and keep the private details to your damn self.

Did I read you say you did not do court wedding with her because your family disapproves or did I read wrongly? I am sure because of your many complaints? I hope I am wrong otherwise I can see why she has changed. When you have spoilt someone everywhere they have no reason to be reasonable with you again. They are only bidding their time. I suggest you keep your big mouth shut going forward and start to protect and repair your wife's image with your family. Make sure you legitimize that marriage and make steps to. If you are a man, your family should not be making court marriage decisions for you. Either marry that lady right or leave her alone. You get mind sef.