₦airaland Forum

When it comes to Class and Quality, I give it to Zenith jare

Unity bank

ok na, union bank all d way, atleast na my presido bank

How you take know all this stuff? you dey do business?

Lol, First Bank post got me laughing? how person go use machine count 7k come use hand count 200k...I guess u were just trying to make us laugh...First Bank,the best bank in Nigeria all the way from 19th century! Respect!

oganass:
chaii!! glo don deny me ftc ooo

glo 4g lite I dey plus 4g phone Nah useless.. Mtn fast like mad

Do we really have any youth banking with WEMA BANK

Stanbic, ecobank and standard chartered suppose merge, before you see dem branch u fit leave your state to another.

I like zenith bank girls big oloshosss

Lol @ heritage community bank..

NL wakes by 6.45am. what happen to round-the-clock update?

I like firstbank, opened in 1894 but still waxing strong.

So true about UBA, zenith, sterling, keystone, heritage, unity banks. Dose banks ehn...

Ecobank is the worst. It will take them more than two weeks before reversal.

That of Sterling bank is soo true! Bank be like eatery

Benuromi:
You wan take laugh kill me this morning ooo. I beg e too early oo. But you try sha. Thank you for this morning laugh.

i just dey laugh like say....

Benuromi:
You wan take laugh kill me this morning ooo. I beg e too early oo. But you try sha. Thank you for this morning laugh.

i just dey laugh like say....[b][/b]

Wema bank, lwkm

Kai....na first bank tire me

Lol

tonychristopher:
U.B.A:
That bank looks like a shrine.. Everywhere is just painted Red! And the bank is very stingy, they will never employ workers. It’s only UBA you will enter & see empty cashier seats… They will be up to like 2 employed but there will be only 1 Cashier who ends up delaying customers.

GTB:
This bank has the highest number of customers! The only bank that looks like aba ariaria market. U queue like mofedaku. The only difference is that you see people with suits and pen, they have their wahala but I like them shaa

Skye Bank:
Hian! This bank will just be looking like somebody’s bathroom. Very small bank, dem go jampack people like sardines! Their workers no dey even wear suit again probably because of heat… Everybody dey enter the bank with hand fan

Diamond Bank:
Only their Lemon Green Colour can make you open 18 accounts with them even if nothing is inside. That is the only thing good about them. They have few branches in cities, their banking hall is like onitsha main market place. But their transfer protocol be like American constitution, simple to transfer with ATM, u go first go sign Non disclosure agreement.

Zenith bank:
This one ehn…? The only thing dem know how to do best is to decorate their walls with mirrors. You will just stay at the front and be seeing someone behind you? Sometimes if you enter the bank, you
will be confused, you won’t even know which road to follow because everybody is appearing two two for the mirror. I wonder if their CEO is a Crystal palace fan. Just carry crystal glass full everywhere!

Sterling Bank
Where do I start from, hmmm this bank looks like eatery, atimes I used to mistake it for where they are selling ice creams, ices and sharwama

Union Bank:
Chai! This bank ehn? I cannot fit yab dem because dem old pass my grandpapa!?
Sometimes, I begin to think maybe the children of Israelites have accounts with Union bank… Their security men sef na old old old papas dem be….
You go enter bank to pay na people with walking stick u go dey see ..

FCMB
They are just beautiful women with good attitudes only that all your incomes will just be going for aso ebi and ice crea

FIDELITY
That one na bank for retired teacher, the only issue in customer care na about pension, u reach cashier point, one old papa will be withdrawing #45,675, #5 naira will always appear. I wonder if no be that bank dey hold all #5 CBN prints. Infact, they are the only bank whose ATM has pension button.

FIRST BANK.
Ah ah ah, this bank can annoy somebody, their first wahala na their door, they will just be screening u like say na jamb office. If you enter nko, queue be like Aba road hold up for port Harcourt, Infact the most annoying tin is some of their workers behaviour, somebody will just be counting #7,000 with machine and #200,000 with ordinary hand. They can screen #1000 like keke people but the good thing about them is their ATM galleries. For that one them try.

Wema Bank
that one na fishermen and panel beaters dey go there recently.

UNITY BANK:
Make them just return their name back to BANK OF THE NORTH. Because how person go wan enter bank e go come be like say u dey enter Zaria city gate. , everywhere they smell Turare (perfume) even the cashiers speak Hausa with u because u wear Agbada.

Keystone Bank.
This bank looks like they are always on strike. The banking hall looks like they only attend to one customer at a time.

Heritage Bank:
that one looks like PDP Secretariat after 2015 election. Even their flag is worn out

Ecobank.
That one looks like NaijaBet office. Its always jam packed on Fridays only. With lots of branches and many people that speaks amny African languages especially in Lagos branch
Sometime I suspect that bank has something to do with Chelsea FC

Access bank:
Na shakara dey worry them. Their account opening process be like application for Canadian visa.

Stanbic IBTC.
The bank suppose to relocate back to south Africa. Everybody dey speak through their nose seff.

Verdict :
The Nigerian banks have demonstrated that they are resistant and Resilient in a depressed economy. They have shown that back king can be done in an economy driven by generator and inconsistency in financial policies. That must be appreciated and applauded with vigorous expansion to other West African countries. These banks stand to be celebrated

http://etimes.com.ng/funny-anology-of-nigerian-banks-and-their-behaviour/

GTB doesn’t have the highest number of customers. It is between UBA and First Bank. GTB is just poor in handling crowd.

They also do not have enough branches to match.

So true. Zenith just dey carry well dressed girls dey terrorize everyone.

Looool. Op, you don craze finish. Nice one!

tonychristopher:
U.B.A:
That bank looks like a shrine.. Everywhere is just painted Red! And the bank is very stingy, they will never employ workers. It’s only UBA you will enter & see empty cashier seats… They will be up to like 2 employed but there will be only 1 Cashier who ends up delaying customers.

GTB:
This bank has the highest number of customers! The only bank that looks like aba ariaria market. U queue like mofedaku. The only difference is that you see people with suits and pen, they have their wahala but I like them shaa

Skye Bank:
Hian! This bank will just be looking like somebody’s bathroom. Very small bank, dem go jampack people like sardines! Their workers no dey even wear suit again probably because of heat… Everybody dey enter the bank with hand fan

Diamond Bank:
Only their Lemon Green Colour can make you open 18 accounts with them even if nothing is inside. That is the only thing good about them. They have few branches in cities, their banking hall is like onitsha main market place. But their transfer protocol be like American constitution, simple to transfer with ATM, u go first go sign Non disclosure agreement.

Zenith bank:
This one ehn…? The only thing dem know how to do best is to decorate their walls with mirrors. You will just stay at the front and be seeing someone behind you? Sometimes if you enter the bank, you
will be confused, you won’t even know which road to follow because everybody is appearing two two for the mirror. I wonder if their CEO is a Crystal palace fan. Just carry crystal glass full everywhere!

Sterling Bank
Where do I start from, hmmm this bank looks like eatery, atimes I used to mistake it for where they are selling ice creams, ices and sharwama

Union Bank:
Chai! This bank ehn? I cannot fit yab dem because dem old pass my grandpapa!?
Sometimes, I begin to think maybe the children of Israelites have accounts with Union bank… Their security men sef na old old old papas dem be….
You go enter bank to pay na people with walking stick u go dey see ..

FCMB
They are just beautiful women with good attitudes only that all your incomes will just be going for aso ebi and ice crea

FIDELITY
That one na bank for retired teacher, the only issue in customer care na about pension, u reach cashier point, one old papa will be withdrawing #45,675, #5 naira will always appear. I wonder if no be that bank dey hold all #5 CBN prints. Infact, they are the only bank whose ATM has pension button.

FIRST BANK.
Ah ah ah, this bank can annoy somebody, their first wahala na their door, they will just be screening u like say na jamb office. If you enter nko, queue be like Aba road hold up for port Harcourt, Infact the most annoying tin is some of their workers behaviour, somebody will just be counting #7,000 with machine and #200,000 with ordinary hand. They can screen #1000 like keke people but the good thing about them is their ATM galleries. For that one them try.

Wema Bank
that one na fishermen and panel beaters dey go there recently.

UNITY BANK:
Make them just return their name back to BANK OF THE NORTH. Because how person go wan enter bank e go come be like say u dey enter Zaria city gate. , everywhere they smell Turare (perfume) even the cashiers speak Hausa with u because u wear Agbada.

Keystone Bank.
This bank looks like they are always on strike. The banking hall looks like they only attend to one customer at a time.

Heritage Bank:
that one looks like PDP Secretariat after 2015 election. Even their flag is worn out

Ecobank.
That one looks like NaijaBet office. Its always jam packed on Fridays only. With lots of branches and many people that speaks amny African languages especially in Lagos branch
Sometime I suspect that bank has something to do with Chelsea FC

Access bank:
Na shakara dey worry them. Their account opening process be like application for Canadian visa.

Stanbic IBTC.
The bank suppose to relocate back to south Africa. Everybody dey speak through their nose seff.

Verdict :
The Nigerian banks have demonstrated that they are resistant and Resilient in a depressed economy. They have shown that back king can be done in an economy driven by generator and inconsistency in financial policies. That must be appreciated and applauded with vigorous expansion to other West African countries. These banks stand to be celebrated

http://etimes.com.ng/funny-anology-of-nigerian-banks-and-their-behaviour/

Eco bank so true

What of Jaiz Bank?

gloryman91:
What of Jaiz Bank?

Jaiz? That's a mosque, not a bank.

tonychristopher:
Skye Bank:
Hian! This bank will just be looking like somebody’s bathroom. Very small bank, dem go jampack people like sardines! Their workers no dey even wear suit again probably because of heat… Everybody dey enter the bank with hand fan

I no gree this one at all.. Maybe the skye bank branch you visited, dont just bad mouth the bank.. Like me now i will say GT Bank no good if i should be judging with the branch i visited, their CUSTOMER SERVICE is just no where to be found

Reeoman:
I no gree this one at all.. Maybe the skye bank branch you visited, dont just bad mouth the bank.. Like me now i will say GT Bank no good if i should be judging with the branch i visited, their CUSTOMER SERVICE is just no where to be found

This is just a joke


Didn't you read the verdict


Can't we crack joke again


No bank is perfect even Barclays
We appreciate our own bank in Nigeria

This is just a freaking joke sir

ndidibabe:
Jaiz? That's a mosque, not a bank.

Lol

Lol!!!!! Interesting post..

My people, Make una dey count una money b4 una leave counter for any bank. On the 19th of may 2017, i enter diamond bank for iyana ipaja branch lagos state, say make i withdraw 38000, after the cashier(a lady) pay me my money finish, na him i start to count my money for the counter there oo, 500 notes, as the lady (cashier) notice say i dey count the money, she just tell me say make i bring the money say e no complete, for my mind, i come dey wonder say so she know say the money no complete yet she carry am give me hoping say i go leave there without counting, before she come complete the money give me... So my people i say make i let una know say all these bankers way no pure, so make u count ur money b4 u leave that their counter, cause after u leave, them no dey accept the the money back again..

Nigerian Banks are a gift. You need to see South African Banks. if you put 20, 000 they take 1000, if you come to withdraw it they take 3000. If you transfer it they send 17000. If you decide to withdraw small cash always from ATM. they charge you you from R10 to R18 rand each withdrawal then at the end of the month you pay like R500 to R1000 maintainance fee. Be it savings acc or, business acc is worst. Oh i love my South Africa