₦airaland Forum

Gr8amechi:
yea I get your point, but that's why marriage is for two, that's when the lady needs to help the man, until ladies discover that they are mothers to both their kids as well as husband some of these little issues can't be solved

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

Sterope:
You must find a way to blame women. So it is women that ask men to act like tyrant because they are men abi?

MarieSucre:
Mother to your husband?! Contradiction loool.

He is your head. The end. If he wants you to act like his mother, then he must take orders from me like he would from his mother.

Bukast:
the truth is that before you blame all father who can't bath their children of change a diaper, please consider the type of business he does, what if he is a military man, whose death can come knocking anytime? They won't even allow him to visit his family always. What if he is a pilot Who flies from Monday to friday? When will he have time to bath the children? What if the father great merchant who travels to diff countries to do business? Will they actually have time to rest talk more of changing the baby's diaper. Before you think of seeing any father bathing his own kids, first check if he even have time for himself, time to rest, to for leisure, he is human being too..if eventually I become a father, it's better I go and look for greener pasture while my lovely wife take care of the kids. It's just division of labour. I don't think it's normal to see a man bathing his kids when the wife is there doing nothing. My culture doesn't supports it. Bathing my kids is not the only way to show them love..whenever I come back from work, I will be very weak to carry out those activities, a good wife suppose to understand that..my dad will never bath me. I still love him. That bond is still there. I love staying with mum. But whenever I see dad there is a different joy I derive because dad will always provide all those things mum couldn't. Sometimes dad will make me work hard by promising to buy a bigger thing. Whenever dad travel, I personally wait for him as I wait for the 2nd coming of jesus because he must carry a small bag where all the goodies come out from..sometimes when you tell mum to buy you something. She will tell you to go and meet your dad..this also makes the bond btw u and dad very tight.. if I can provide almost everything for the family it will reduce the burden on my wife and she will have more time to look after the family..whenever I'm coming back from work. I can get them something to eat like fruits,ice cream or even sharwama. Lol

Sterope:
Someone has been lying to you sir.

smithsydny:
my neighbour just return from lag this morning the baby that cusson baby swag and trendy.. Treasure azariah u can check with her natural hair.. Believe u me if she's sleeping now her just say daddy is here the way she she will shine eye and shout daaaaaaaadyyyyyyyy.. She loves her dad like say them wan thief am. .. Do u know wen we were little I can remember my parents had issues my was about leaving my God mother told her u just lost. Lol.. Imagine how small I was then. We love our papa ehhh all then were 3 of us... Its now that were all grown up that we cone love our mama. My dad can go any lent to make sure I get what I want. Same as my mum too.

The day him wan nag here or hala nah die ooo.. But believe u me my dad respects me to dead . I don't know y or how. But the kind of trust and believe he has for me ehhh.. I can't disappoint him not for anything in this world.. I need to make money and send them on vacation abroad.. There wahala too much

smithsydny:
what's his reply?

lenghtinny:
What do you mean by someone sir, I hope you aren't referring to my uncle because if you are then you better take that back please... Don't let me transfer the aggression to you with this statement over an incident you know next to nothing about..
Or do you think I just woke up to cook a fairytale story?

Gr8amechi:
lol hell no, I am not blaming anyone but rather looking out for ways to make it out. Just imagine the fathers sit at home just to spoil their mother to their kids. My point is the mother has a role to play in the kids not hating the father, agreed the fathers ought not be too bossy or harsh but sometimes children need that extra push to bring out the best in them even the Holy book said spare the rod and spoil the child

obikirinoni:
Guys please read carefully


WHY FATHERS ARE NEGLECTED IN OLD AGE.
-ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS! (and mothers too!)

Take ur time and read through.

1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.

2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.

3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.

4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.

6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.

7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.

8. The father often mettes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.

10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.

11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.

12. When the children start earning their own money, for some reason, it's their mothers they decide to look after. They are closer to her.

13. While the father was in charge, he was busy with the business of providing. He didn't have much time to be a friend to the children.

14. They spent more time with their mum and invariably grew closer to her. They also see their mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.

15. The mother takes centre stage at this point. She is the first to know what's happening with the children & she has advantage.

16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one that goes for babysitting and the children spoil her with gifts.

17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some bond with the children like they have with their mother but that boat has sailed.

18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the father for her needs at this stage, she is less likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.

19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power has shifted to the children. They are self-sufficient, live on their own & have own families.

20. More often than not, whenever there is a quarrel between father & mother, the children side the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play

21. Children have been known to come to the house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their mother. Next thing, extended visitations.

22. Woe betide the father if his finances are precarious at this stage. You will be humble by force. The gang-up is real.

23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop different complications. By the time the forces are arrayed against you, you will think well.

24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure. The man has a large family but no relationship with them in later life. Troubling thought.

25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us, let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be with us forever.

26. With the way you are treating your wife now, how will she treat you when power shifts to her?

27. What relationship do you have with your family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical provider?

28. Remember, the children always side with their mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair hearing in future moments of family strife

30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't have to beg to be taken care of if despite your best efforts, you find yourself alone.

ADVISE TO CHILDREN:- IT IS NOT GOOD TO ABANDON YOUR FATHER WHO DENIED HIMSELF TO GET YOU PREPARED FOR LIFE & WHO SACRIFICIALLY SOWED TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. HONOUR YOUR BOTH PARENTS AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE. THAT IS HOW YOU TOO WILL SOW INTO YOUR FUTURE. DONT LET NEGLECTING YOUR FATHER (PARENTS ) BE A CURSE ON YOU INTO YOUR FUTURE.

ADVISE TO MOTHERS :- DON'T INCITE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THEIR FATHER.

*Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is no manual on how it works. May God help us

Ngokafor:
...Keep yapping about 'feminist',a word you have no idea what it means while refusing to learn...Your kids will simply abandon you in your old age to perish in hunger and poverty...its your call.

PaperLace:
This makes no sense at all. Greener pastures indeed...

I don't know which planet you live in, but here that I am _women seek greener pastures too. The wife that's working and managing the home, isn't she weak too? Can't you understand and help out?

Since your culture doesn't support bathing your own kids, I pray you marry a woman whose culture doesn't support helping the husband. She'll work and eat alone,while you slave and come back weak. You'll see the main weakness. Then you'll understand marriage is about making life easier for each other.

You better read and learn. Enough said!


Your missing the Point biko! He actually explained it as it had been time coming which is the same experience people have gotten not until recently do women try to work and be a supportive partner in a relationship! It hasn't always been that way with the culture. So its both ways! I would understand also if the woman is an Air Hostess or a branch manager and the man is a self employed! In this scenario would U think would be closer to the Kids? Its definitely the DAD no contesting and I have seen these instances happen alot

So abeg its just about finding the balance which not everyone can find and understand! Its not easy stressing everyday for survival on the part of the man!Especially Ladies I don't think U understand how a man is wired especially when it comes to providing for the family! Its takes everything from you as you constantly always have to find an extra way of making money for family and then U loose touch of the important things then again I am saying its finding the balance thats all

OludolamiWasen:

OludolamiWasen:
Awwwn

megareal:
True. But some children simply abandon their father because of separation and divorce. A man goes on to marry another woman while the children are being singlehandedly raised by their mums, hence the abandonement.

For the intact homes, dictatorship and lack of care are the culprits. Some married women singlehandedly cater for their kids while staying under a roof with the supposed head of the house.

Afonjanightmare:
Mehn, the pillar of any home is the father, only stupid children would hate their DAD, my DAD trained us well, he had and still has an iron fist, barks orders, yells at everyone at home including the tables and chairs, do we love him?? Yes.

obikirinoni:
Guys please read carefully


WHY FATHERS ARE NEGLECTED IN OLD AGE.
-ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS! (and mothers too!)

Take ur time and read through.

1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.

2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.

3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.

4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.

6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.

7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.

8. The father often mettes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.

10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.

11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.

12. When the children start earning their own money, for some reason, it's their mothers they decide to look after. They are closer to her.

13. While the father was in charge, he was busy with the business of providing. He didn't have much time to be a friend to the children.

14. They spent more time with their mum and invariably grew closer to her. They also see their mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.

15. The mother takes centre stage at this point. She is the first to know what's happening with the children & she has advantage.

16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one that goes for babysitting and the children spoil her with gifts.

17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some bond with the children like they have with their mother but that boat has sailed.

18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the father for her needs at this stage, she is less likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.

19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power has shifted to the children. They are self-sufficient, live on their own & have own families.

20. More often than not, whenever there is a quarrel between father & mother, the children side the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play

21. Children have been known to come to the house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their mother. Next thing, extended visitations.

22. Woe betide the father if his finances are precarious at this stage. You will be humble by force. The gang-up is real.

23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop different complications. By the time the forces are arrayed against you, you will think well.

24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure. The man has a large family but no relationship with them in later life. Troubling thought.

25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us, let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be with us forever.

26. With the way you are treating your wife now, how will she treat you when power shifts to her?

27. What relationship do you have with your family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical provider?

28. Remember, the children always side with their mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair hearing in future moments of family strife

30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't have to beg to be taken care of if despite your best efforts, you find yourself alone.

ADVISE TO CHILDREN:- IT IS NOT GOOD TO ABANDON YOUR FATHER WHO DENIED HIMSELF TO GET YOU PREPARED FOR LIFE & WHO SACRIFICIALLY SOWED TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. HONOUR YOUR BOTH PARENTS AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE. THAT IS HOW YOU TOO WILL SOW INTO YOUR FUTURE. DONT LET NEGLECTING YOUR FATHER (PARENTS ) BE A CURSE ON YOU INTO YOUR FUTURE.

ADVISE TO MOTHERS :- DON'T INCITE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THEIR FATHER.

*Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is no manual on how it works. May God help us

Gr8amechi:
Lol Yea you are right but view it from this angle moms don't actually push adults around, sometimes moms listens to you alot when she feels you have grown up

Shrekjhon:
Lol this is another major problem in this country! All this manipulative Hoes would just come and be ranting nonsense! Your just a dependant and U can't deal with your own shit! If you act your ways straight your kids won't abandon and if they do! U should be really prepared to take care of your future! Keep manipulating kids for your selfish gains! Work with your own hands and prepare for your future than wait around! Build an empire for yourself! Keep begging shogbo

smithsydny:
smiles... What?

Ngokafor:
...Its a shame a supposed 'adult' typed this rubbish..Childish rants from a grown up whose IQ is akin to a 5year old's...pathetic.

KevinDein:
I've long accepted that fatherhood is a thankless job. I'm prepared for that. However, I'd still give my all to see that my offsprings turn out great.

They can save the emotional stuffs for the mom; I don't need that. I just want them to be the best scientists, sportmen etc. That's enough for me.

OludolamiWasen:
Is sweet talk na.

PaperLace:
. You'll see the main weakness. Then you'll understand marriage is about making life easier for each other.

Sterope:
Your uncle has been lying to you sir

BLACKPANTHER:
Guy Abi Na Babe, Na u try pass for posting better thing.