₦airaland Forum

Guy, used to be like you... Get sense bro! When that money stops coming in, they will all vanish like... I hope you are saving the most.

On a more serious note, there's no reason to always be the guy to take care of all your friend's expenses. Gets them thinking you're very comfortable and can be easily ridden on.

It's very simple, alway make friends with your equals and not with broke ass Niger's. People of like minded and not some kind of cheap slots looking for whom to get from like parasites........ Abeg me self the find your type ooooooo!

IgweBUIKE1:
didn't you see the word relationoship in the op post?

so everything that has relationship in it should be posted to romance section? Even when the basic idea is not focused on his love life?

Don't stop giving cos of the blessing attach...rather lend with your akonuche

Exaxtly d same diseases with me.
Man need to learn how to say no o.
If not dem go take person like mumu.

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

[quote author=Yoshy post=58870037][/quote]] you're like me. I find it embarrassing saying no to pple even at my own detriment. Even when you try to be selfish you fail at it. Bro, if you can lend keep doing it...even though there seem to be no reward for kindness these days. It's who you are. Someday you will see those who really appreciate your rare virtue.

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

you are an introvert simple..They are the most loveable being on earth..Just curtail ur frnds

Never lend or borrow money from or to any friend or family it destroys relationship, please avoid it

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

If you help a stupid person, he can even kill you tomorrow, when you demand payment. Ask many businessmen why they don't sell goods on credit to their friends.

Learn from the stories you read here on Nairaland..

Be careful. I learnt the hard way.

Many demons walking around like humans..

Can you give me a plot of land in Banana Island, Lagos. Or in Asokoro Abuja?

simply use/ask a renowned troublemaker to give them the money on ur behalf/ tell them that the money belong to one iya Rasaki/Pa chinedu and dat they can only borrow him for 2 months.it work

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Its all a mindset. Nothings stops u from being nice if u feel u have to but pipe it down, keep it moderate. I have had someone rebuff me saying "I like spending on them cos I want to show I have too much". I pinched myself there and then and made a habit of being the last to pay and not asking to pay for the rest. Some people don't like it, others regard it as outright arrogance and some feel u want to rob it on their face. Whichever the case is, remember its ur problem how u portray urself and u don't need fake friends.

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Guy, me and you are cousins ... I'm over generous .

The only solution I think for myself​ is to find a very stingy lady to date and marry in order to curb my excess.

If you marry a generous woman, your own don finish be that

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

One of my friend just asked me for a 5k loan. This same guy owed me money before and since I no ask, he never mentioned it but today lack of shame and pretense made him to remind me of the old loan with a promise to pay both soon.

I just choke hand for pocket remove 5k close mind dash am 5hundred naira.

[quote author=Yoshy post=58870037 ?uestion ::
Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?
@newer:: NO0[/quote]advice::: make sure the no0 is in capital letters and zero "0" is included

?uestion ::

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

@nswer::
NO0


advice::: make sure the no0 is in capital letters and zero "0" is included

Please i need a loan for business and am not going to make you feel bad. My email is,reachout2faith@yahoo.com. keep doing good

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

You are not the only person in this compassionate ministry.But I think going to the extreme can have spiritual undertone.Adding to your experience,you see someone who did not ask you for help and something just pushed you to initiate and do it,very big favour like paying house rent,getting someone job,admission etc at your own detriment only for the person to get mad at you at a slightess provocation.You've had this storage experience with more than ten people.Upon all this, you still keep on helping people. You help someone get job in your office only for the person to see you as enemy he needs to get rid off and occupy your position .The list is endless.A real.life experience.Pray against the spirit and exercise self control.People will take advantage you,making it in.life while you have nothing to show for it.To make the matter worse,they will ridicule and let youndown when you need them most.

madridguy:
Paying for food and drinks is good so far it's not affecting your pocket. As for lending people's money, my advise is " don't lend anybody an amount you cannot let go " that is logic of lending people's money.

U just said my mind, that's my principle for lending money to friends, I don't compromise that. I hope he will adopt dis method

Imma master at saying No. be like me

You have to be wise. As some other have said, stop trying to be a people pleaser.

If you are surrounded by people who let you pick up the bill everytime, then you do not have friends.

I have a small circle of no more than 4 guys I would willingly loan anything because I know for sure they will certainly pay back.

As for others no matter how much they ask for, no is the sure answer they will get from me. I especially do not lend money to women as a firm principle.

I did not come to this world to bear everybody's financial burden.

madridguy:
Paying for food and drinks is good so far it's not affecting your pocket. As for lending people's money, my advise is " don't lend anybody an amount you cannot let go " that is logic of lending people's money.

Best advice you can get...
Had this friend who called me up to ask for 15k loan...i had the 15k could have given it to him but after some thoughts of which i told him that it is only when he needs help he remebers me....what if he doesn't refund me back.....i called him and told him i could only borrow him 5k.....till date my 5k i no see.....not even a call of how are you or i will pay you back.....i did not bother myself over the money cos i gave him with thoughts of what i could afford to let go

pryme:
Don't you have any evil bone in your body? At least just lash out for once.

There is a time and place for everything

And I am sure you have so many friends
Its not bad to give. In fact, its more blessed to give but be careful of friends or people who may want to take undue advantage of your inability to say no.
Stand your ground and say no to those ones. And remember to care for yourself and family too.

This will help u a lot especially point #6.it's a copied piece not originally mine but d guy nailed d points


14 Money Mistakes We Shouldn’t Make In Our Entire Life by Onyemadonald(m): 11:54am
Money is key element for anyone to progress. Today we bring you money mistakes that if avoided you are likely to succeed. Read on…

#MoneyMistakes: 1.
Never borrow money with interest to start a business (except for salary loans); only borrow to grow your business. This is because business takes a long time to gain ground and begin making profit yet for most of the loans you begin paying back a month later or even earlier. Hence, never borrow to start a business expecting that business to be the one to pay back the borrowed money plus the interest.

#MoneyMistakes: 2.
Never spend money you haven’t received. Don’t even promise someone money based a promise you have from someone else. Don’t hear somebody say, “Ezra come to my office tomorrow at 9am and pick 2m” and you go buy items on credit hoping to clear when the promised money comes.

#MoneyMistakes: 3.
If u want to ever save, whenever u receive money ensure you don’t start spending before removing the savings hoping that you’ll save what remains. Normally what remains is zero because as long as money to spend it available what to be spent on is also available. And things to spend on even incite their ‘relatives’ while when money to spend is not available we naturally find a way of managing. That’s why I’ve learnt to save with FRIENDS FOREVER INVESTMENT CLUB. When I send money there I assume I no longer have it.

#MoneyMistakes 4
When you get an opportunity to meet a very wealthy person never ask for money. Ask for ideas on how to make money. They can even choose to give you money on their own after seeing that your ideas are great, but let getting money from them never be your objective.

#MoneyMistakes: 5.
Keeping your seed instead of planting it. Many people stop at saving. It’s very, very difficult to save and have all you need to maintain your lifestyle especially after retirement. When you save, your savings are seed; plant it. When you just keep it some seeds begin to die (eaten by inflation and the likes). That’s where I recommend that you read about the different types investment vehicles you can use to grow savings. I am not necessarily talking about putting the money in a business because you can easily lose money on a business. I am talking about putting it in an investment.

#MoneyMistakes: 6.
Never lend someone money you are not willing to lose. By the time you lend money, be contented in your heart that should the person not pay, you will not die with the money. You should not even lose the person as a friend. If you find the person can fail to pay you and you remain as usual, then lend. If you find you would even hate the person’s entire clan, please advise the person to go to the bank.

#MoneyMistakes: 7.
Never append your signature to guarantee someone on a financial matter if you are not willing or able to pay the money. Do I have to explain that one? No. It’s self explanatory.

#MoneyMistakes: 8.

Avoid keeping within easy reach money you don’t intend to use in the short term – don’t for instance walk with 100k in your pocket when all you plan to do in a day cost 20k.

#MoneyMistakes: 9.
Avoid keeping money in inappropriate places eg in socks, under the pillow, in a pit, in the sitting room, in the bra, in a travel bag that you will place somewhere eg when in a bus..

#MoneyMistakes: 10.
Spending money on an item that you can do without (at least for the time being). These days when I pick money from my pocket, before paying for something I ask myself: What would happen if insist buy this? If I find I can live with the consequences of not having that thing, I smile and walk away.

#MoneyMistakes: 11.
Paying an amount that’s not the minimum you can get that same value for. In other words, if you are along Kampala Road and you pay 70k for a shoe that you can get at 30k at Mukwano Arcade, that’s a money mistake except for those who have achieved financial freedom.

#MoneyMistakes: 12.
Wanting to be the savior of the world by helping with ethane in financial need. My sister, brother you are not Jesus. If you find it so hard to say No to a financial demand, you may think you are practicing generosity when in actual sense you are practicing committing (financial) suicide. We are not learning to be miserable here; we are learning to live within the boundaries of reality.

#MoneyMistakes: 13.
Consistently spending all you earn or more than you earn. It’s like having a drum where you have an inlet that’s smaller than the outlet. It will never get full. And should the inlet ever reduce significantly the drum will run dry. If you do it the other way round and the inlet is bugger, it will get full and even overflow. Hence, we have to always ensure we are widening the inlet while narrowing the outlet – all the time.

#MoneyMistakes: 14.
Thinking about short term only and forgetting about long term or thinking about the long term and forgetting about the short term. For instance Lydia was told that there’s money in land. She saved money over a long period of time and bought 30 acres of land. Now she has the land but she is ever broke. She is ever complaining. She’s disgruntled and she doesn’t seem to see herself earning from the land in the near future. Now, let’s ask ourselves: Having 30 acres of land and no money to feed your family or take a child to hospital, is that wealth or poverty? I think Lydia only looked at long term needs and forgot that she has short term needs that require money. What of those who find they are one paycheck away from salary? Are they thinking about the long term needs?

For now lets take note of the above .

psalmistkakah:
Am having similar experience, infact dis hav cause me to keep away from friends because wen am in need dey all runaway but dey enjoy borrowing frm me....

They are not ur friends period, they are only there for what they gain from you. So do away with parasitic friends .

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

I understand your plight. I used to be like you if not worse sef. I was even giving out personal belongings such as clothes and electronics, guess I was just naive. People will take advantage of your good nature but the truth is you know those leeching on you, the best you can do is avoid them overtime they will move on to the next cheerful giver. As regards loaning people money, I tell them I don't have the amount they want but take this amount for dash. Lastly, you don't want to go broke satisfying others, believe me these same people will flee at the sight of your broke ass..

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

This days to borrow is human but to return it is divine so only borrow the amount u can forfeit or to people u know will always pay u back. Secondly pay for what u can afford and don't try to please anyone or try so hard to fit in, if ur friends are there cos of what they gain from u then watch them disappear when u are in need. Choose ur friends wisely and do away with parasitic friends.

Nma27:
Stop giving and flush out the fake friends from your life. When you go to drink, drop half of d money and ask dem to complete it. Just observe reactions.

nice one

eboiga:
Please i need a loan for business and am not going to make you feel bad. My email is,reachout2faith@yahoo.com. keep doing good

Fear God. haba...

I just fixed this aspect of my life and the journey has been so interesting.
When I reflect on this behavior and the backlash of finally saying No, I came to a conclusion that more than 95% of humans are created with evil minds.

The signals are always there but unfortunately we ignore them and allow fake people into our lives. It was so bad in my case that I had to find scholarly articles online and YouTube videos/comments on dealing with this, and the solution I found in one article was to say No to everybody and everything as a way of going to the extreme to test the water. This changed my life drastically, and I want you to understand that ungrateful friends and families are not oblivious of their disdainful behaviors, they just don't care about you until you start caring about yourself.

I cut off many people in my life and honestly it's ok to do that, whether close family members it doesn't matter. And please don't go soft on this by giving people money you can afford to lose, don't give nada that's the rule and trust me if you stick to this your life becomes meaningful and people would respect you more and real people are going to stick around. Because at the end of the day no matter how much you give them, they are still going to talk shi$$t behind you calling you names, I refer to those people as parasitic drains.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb8wyn9EYUY