when i tell people i wont get married they are always surprise. 70% of marriages in nigeria are nonsense. cant go through wat my mun went through. if i were ur mum i wud hv divorced yr dad long time ago. cant b suffering in a marriage o

taylor88:
the high rate of konji in this country is mind blowing



the day my dad threatened my mum of getting a second wife i laughed very hard


I seduced the woman and fuvcked her, took her pants to my dad as evidence. no more i go marry


u need to see d joy in my mums face, for 1 month mum was giving me food with 5pieces of meat

this is what worked for me

So what the hell do you think you are,A hero or?

YOUNGSTUNNA:
God! I booked this space thinking it's a thread I can comment... Then I read through it and realized it is stronger than me. Now I have no choice but to sit back relax and let Nairaland Elders Comment.

.
You know op... that's same sh*t my Dad used to do, used beat Mon up and cheat on her, I never did side him or mom. it's their marriage, they took the vows *for better or worse* I wasn't there, so I stayed out of their business. I don't wanna talk about all those sh*ts I've witnessed...but bro stay out of their business, they're both adults not kids...

one of the worst advise i have read here so far.

you mean, he should turn a blind eye and muffle his ears as his father pummels his mother?

Bros, why?

Why do African men like to beat their wifes??

Prosper24:


My mom is a strong woman of God. She is the foundation of Christianity in our family today.

I don't believe she sleeps with the number of men in both her church, work place my dad is accusing her off.

I believed your mom's innocence until you said this. Guy you mom might not even be cheating. But your dad is probably pissed at the way she's carrying man of god issue on her head. Women can be annoying when it comes to their daddy.

Prosper24:


Maybe i should wait until after the said family meeting by next month.

If he skips the meeting this time

Or

Continue with his current behavior then I'm done with him.


The most painful thing is, one will keep managing in school while your dad will be sponsoring other women and their children. It pains..


This man has been doing this for years especially when he was still working.


Now he is only receiving pension, why can't him call himself to order instead he is fornicating and sponsoring other women while at the same time accusing my mom of the same fornication.

We have a lot of financial needs.

My dad had money, he was balling but now no investment, incomplete house. The few furnitures we have in the house my mom bought them all.

He married late and close to 30years older than my mom.


That man is a complete failure. So sorry to say but he has refused to take correction.

You're obviously an intelligent person; but I doubt if you have much wisdom. You have too much bad blood for your father and it is affecting the way you think, handle things -- after I read your piece, I was like: may I never have a son like you.

You ran to take your mothers side without thinking. I pity you.

Send the message. Fool

odimbannamdi:


one of the worst advise i have read here so far.

you mean, he should turn a blind eye and muffle his ears as his father pummels his mother?

Bros, why?

worse advice? oh, I should advice him to beat his dad up or take the issue to the village elders right? goddammit they're both adults, if the marriage ain't working.. separate or get a divorce...

same way you wouldn't want your parents to interfere in your marriage, same way you shouldn't interfere in theirs...

taylor88:
the high rate of konji in this country is mind blowing

the day my dad threatened my mum of getting a second wife i laughed very hard

I seduced the woman and fuvcked her, took her pants to my dad as evidence. no more i go marry

u need to see d joy in my mums face, for 1 month mum was giving me food with 5pieces of meat

this is what worked for me

You are lucky you don't have a mean dad.
He could have dealt with you for your shenanigans. You don't fcvk around with a man's love interest. You don't know what he might do next.

Peace of mind is very important in life . Dont do it if its going to rob you of your peace of mind. If you are a christian pray about it, it might be spiritual. I pray that your home will have peace. Broken home is not something i can even pray for my enemy.

I pray for peace in your heart, your moms's heart, & full conversion for your father. above all peace in your entire family. I empathized with you. pls thread carefully, he is still your father. Avoid any occasion that will make him place a curse on you. Always console your mum to be strong for her children & to face her God. Shalom.

Kill the mudafucker you call dad and save your self and the rest family all this stress. just a bread

Kill the mudafucker you call dad and save your self and the rest family all this stress. just a bread.

they will say bad advice but I hate such men

blueseacats:
I believed your mom's innocence until you said this. Guy you mom might not even be cheating. But your dad is probably pissed at the way she's carrying man of god issue on her head. Women can be annoying when it comes to their daddy.

Guy you are on point there is no way the mum is completely innocent

send a thank you letter to him first, telling him things that would make him happy.
Then after that, if he doesn't change, then fire him with that letter. Some elders are really devilish and wicked. Don't report everything to some set of persons.

But do you Pray at all?


Don't insult him via the letter but talk something that would hit his mind. If you stay in the same house, then don't try it

OP, after reading your story, i practically thanked God for the unity in my family. Dont get me wrong. My family aint perfect. it's just sheer providence

From all what u have written, i wont advise you send him that letter. it will only aggravate things. Your dad obviously dont care anymore about his family, so sending him that letter would be like pouring water on a rock hoping it would become turn fertile. He is still independent in a way, so sending him that letter will increase his nonchalance, afterall, "his son has forsaken him"

Rather, tell your mum to avoid open confrontations with him despite unarguable evidences. She should just do her own things and avoid their paths crossing. The aim is to prevent any provocation that could make him beat her again. But if he still beats her without any provocation, then she should consider moving out of the house.

Brother, domestic violence that could lead to death is real! A man on my street beat his wife severely and she died in the hospital. After the whole police dragging, the man is back home now, free! Each time i pass his shop and see him, i weep for his wife and little children. To think that the beating was recurrent and now justice want dispensed is heart-breaking.

So, bro, dont take chances. Secure your mother's life. Thats most important now.

I wish u goodluck

Donjazzy12:

You are a very very foolish child to want to confront your Dad this way. This is exactly why my friend believes that male children of today are completely useless and worthless. He has a daughter whom he dotes on and that girl loves her dad so much to the extent she can take a bullet for him. You on the other hand your Dad should have sold you to buy recharge card. You are completely worthless as a son! As far as I am concerned , if you are his only child , then he should count himself childless.

What should he do send a letter thanking his dad for using his mum as a punching bag?

Raiyell:


You're obviously an intelligent person; but I doubt if you have much wisdom. You have too much bad blood for your father and it is affecting the way you think, handle things -- after I read your piece, I was like: may I never have a son like you.

You ran to take your mothers side without thinking. I pity you.

Send the message. Fool

Oga, if you don't have something positive to say, stay away na and stop behaving like a bigger fool

YOUNGSTUNNA:

worse advice? oh, I should advice him to beat his dad up or take the issue to the village elders right? goddammit they're both adults, if the marriage ain't working.. separate or get a divorce...

same way you wouldn't want your parents to interfere in your marriage, same way you shouldn't interfere in theirs...

See how you twist people's words.

Didnt you see where he emphasized on his father severally and severely beating his mum. He should ignore that?

MadCow1:


So you want to disown your father.. Nna you must be very stupiid. Youths of today have let Wizkid and Davido erode their ability to reason.

Oh its ok for the Dad to disown the children but not ok if the child do he xame

Prosper24:


My mom is a strong woman of God. She is the foundation of Christianity in our family today.

I don't believe she sleeps with the number of men in both her church, work place my dad is accusing her off.

the day a married woman (familt member) i trust damn much told me the man i place highly (our pastor) don toast (approach) her, We gave up on dt church (top 3 churches in 9ja).

Prosper24:
For over 4 years my father have been accusing my mother of fornications which has been a serious issue in our family. (24 years old marriage)

My father have accused my mom of befriending different men in her work place,church and the compound were we live.

Me and my only brother don't stay at home most times due to our school (university).

My little siblings who are in elementary school are the only ones at home and my father keeps filling this kids heads with different kinds of questions about my mom.

Please note that my father does not stay at home often as he likes visiting the village and to be frank i and my friends have caught him several times but i keep it to myself and pray he changes one day just to prevent more chaos in the family.

One day we all went to the village. One of my cousin brothers who base in the village came to visit us. He is known to be a very funny person and to be frank he talks anyhow and jokes a lot.

But my mom was shocked when he told her that my dad had rented a shop for one woman and even bought refrigerator for her. My mom kept mute and never asked my dad.

As the accusations keep increasing my mom who have noticed several suspicious activities of my dad got angry and stated voicing out all she have heard and suspected about my dad including the refrigerator saga.

My dad has beaten my mom in several occasions but at night and even in the day.

Just to cut the story short:

There is a woman who lives close to us, her husband was a very close friend of my dad before he died.

We discovered that my dad eats food from her Unknown to my mom when my mom is not around and they both spend time together in our house and that of the woman.

We also discovered that my dad usually buys food stuff and pay for other items for her.

Now I'm very angry about this because he has carried this irritating life to to our neighbor who he claim the woman's late husband was very close to him and his just showing care for the family as a close friend to his late friend.

Currently now there are unpaid debts in our family, things are extremely difficult yet my dad could buy stuffs for the other woman.

My mom complains about how my dad uses his retirement salary for what she can't explain. He keep saying his clearing debts and all that.

I'm fed up. I want to take serious action. I want to come out to quarrel my dad to the last. After all he chased me out of his house because i had so hard with him due to this numerous accusations he keeps labelling on my mom without any tangible evidence. My mom keeps crying and have decided to call her family members for a joint meeting by next month after my dad have skipped about two different meetings called by my moms people (brothers and sisters cos her dad and mom are late).

Now below is the letter i want to send to my dad. I have made up my mind to take that bold step. Maybe it will change him. Please read below and advice me I'm totally confused i don't want our family to tear apart.

After carring out my research and investigations about the happenings in our family which has over the years been a threat to the unity, progress and stability of our coexistence as one family, i beg to state that:





1) Because you have decided for over 4 years now to frustrate, humiliate and disorganize my mother who happens to be your wife with all kinds of accusations,insults and disgrace for a reason best known to you. And:

2) Because you have derived more pleasure in carrying the bordens of your concubines and that of their children to the detriment of your own family even when you are aware of the sufferings and debts in your family.

I want to make it clear that as a result of this, i have taken it upon myself not minding how it will effect me to suspend anything that has to do with the both of us till futher notice to enable you have more finance and less opposition to continue with those activities of yours that gives you pleasure but i find disgraceful, irritating and odious to me.

Thank you.....

Please Don't mind my English and focus on the write up, na vex i dey use right all this stuff...

NOW LISTEN. i am going to advise you like one who has seen it all. do not.. i repeat do not ever have issues with ur dad. u can disown your mom but never you ever try shii with ur dad. you belong to ur dad. your mom may be good to u but she is of no use to u and she knows it. i advise u. your dad may not be d best dad but do not joke with him. besides, hoe does his relationship affect u? bros u b man o. no forget say one day u go double date. all men we are all thesame o. leave matter for mattiais. your mom is not innocent. leave them to settke dat thing. your love for ur mom is beclouding ur judgement. reply me first before i continue bros

Raiyell:


You're obviously an intelligent person; but I doubt if you have much wisdom. You have too much bad blood for your father and it is affecting the way you think, handle things -- after I read your piece, I was like: may I never have a son like you.

You ran to take your mothers side without thinking. I pity you.

Send the message. Fool

Of course, he should have good blood for his dad and love him very much after watching his Dad use his mum as a punching bag and letting the poor woman suffer

Donjazzy12:

You are a very very foolish child to want to confront your Dad this way. This is exactly why my friend believes that male children of today are completely useless and worthless. He has a daughter whom he dotes on and that girl loves her dad so much to the extent she can take a bullet for him. You on the other hand your Dad should have sold you to buy recharge card. You are completely worthless as a son! As far as I am concerned , if you are his only child , then he should count himself childless.

You are as useless as your comment.


Your type would show high level of irresponsibility to their children yet crave respect.

Will you keep quiet? ?

odimbannamdi:


See how you twist people's words.

Didnt you see where he emphasized on his father severally and severely beating his mum. He should ignore that?

Hell no! he should beat him up too. Even if the dad keeps beating the Mon till next year, he wouldn't dare touch his Dad... I'm not married bro... but the mom is in the best position to take the issue to anywhere, not the kids.
if she loves her life let her move out, till her assh*le husband gets back to his senses...
.
I've been through same sh*t before...

Have you ever thought of asking your father the things he would want your mum to start doing that will make him happy and if he will forgive your mum for any perceived wrong she might have done to him in the past.
Don't take sides with your mum as it will only anger your father.
The source of crisis could be a wrong done by your mum which you may not be aware of and which may have infuriated and humiliated him to the point that he finds succour with other women. For you to put all the blames on your father shows your bias probably because she pays most of your bills as you stated.

Tell your mom to be ready to make some serious sacrifices as may be prescribed by your father for a new beginning, it could be financial issues, emotional, psychological or spiritual or she continues to maintain her stand with no solution.

You said she is a born again Christian but there are several cases whereby some women would obey their pastors and disobey their husbands, would spend more time praying or in church activities than attending to the emotional needs of their husbands and this breeds suspicion even when she is innocent.
You are too young to carry this matter on your head.

Donjazzy12:

You are a very very foolish child to want to confront your Dad this way. This is exactly why my friend believes that male children of today are completely useless and worthless. He has a daughter whom he dotes on and that girl loves her dad so much to the extent she can take a bullet for him. You on the other hand your Dad should have sold you to buy recharge card. You are completely worthless as a son! As far as I am concerned , if you are his only child , then he should count himself childless.

you talk this way because you are not in the same situation.

edicied:

What should he do send a letter thanking his dad for using his mum as a punching bag?

Very simple. Never ever take sides in issues concerning your Dad and Mum. It never ends well. A smart mother will never allow their son to disrespect his father.
And this is for the OP, whatever you do to your father or mother , your kids will definitely do same to you.
Your son will also disrespect and side his mother.
A word is enough for the wise.

Chascop:



Oga, if you don't have something positive to say, stay away na and stop behaving like a bigger fool

A child who spites his father with too much zest is only cutting off his nose to spite his face. Be guided.

You don't have much wisdom. When your parents fuc.kked to conceive you, I guess you were the one that guided the insemination.

Did I hear you say "not me?"

Lol

The marriage isn't your marriage -- a wise person will enlist the help of elders in a discreet manner to help mediate; but no, you -- the wisest of the bunch, a wiry, rascally,premature guinea pig without an ounce of wisdom has decided the goal post of your parent's marriage and thus taken a side. Perhaps your mother has filled you with plenty bile because she is the one with more money.

Let me stop here -- you're young and have very little wisdom, pray to get it soon.

Slimy salamander!

Ariel20:


You are as useless as your comment.


Your type would show high level of irresponsibility to their children yet crave respect.

Will you keep quiet? ?

May your children do to you what Op wants to do to his father. May your wife and sons gang up against you !

Raiyell:


A child who spites his father with too much zest is only cutting off his nose to spite his face. Be guided.

You don't have much wisdom. When your parents fuc.kked to conceive you, I guess you were the one that guided the insemination.

Did I hear you say "not me?"

Lol

The marriage isn't your marriage -- a wise person will enlist the help of elders in a discreet manner to help mediate; but no, you -- the wisest of the bunch, a wiry, rascally,premature guinea pig without an ounce of wisdom has decided the goal post of your parent's marriage and thus taken a side. Perhaps your mother has filled you with plenty bile because she is the one with more money.

Let me stop here -- you're young and have very little wisdom, pray to get it soon.

Slimy salamander!

You took the words out of my mouth. A lot of male children of nowadays are extremely stupid and childish.

Sincerely I just do not what to advice, I really weep for you for finding yourself to deal with this ugly situation. I pray God Almighty gives you the wisdom of o handlle this situation.

Guy I sympathize with u but don't ever, I repeat ever give that letter to your dad. I may not be able to outline the implications of u giving that letter to your father here but the spiritual implications may be too much for you to bear in future. If your dad can be beating your mom he can also go to any length to destroy your future if he feel insulted. You are only a child and there is a limit as to how you can go over this issue. But I will advise that you take your mom and go to a good church and fast over it, and continue praying, maybe your dad will come back to his senses. But if he doesn't stop this randy life at his age his days may not be too long. Pls sorry if you feel insulted with my advice