Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? - Family (3)

Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? (29253 Views)

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by wristbangle: 12:03pm On Aug 12, 2017*

It pains me I did not see this on time but some people have given the right advice which is to halt the wedding ceremony with immediate effect.

I know it will be painful hence better to bear it than venturing into a marriage that would destroy your destiny but according to marital/customary rights, you are somewhat married already due to traditional/court wedding which is a diced situation to make prompt decision.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by JONNYSPUTE(m): 12:04pm On Aug 12, 2017

Op u ve to go on with the weeding because u ve already married her. Nobody is perfect even u Nd besides,we all know how most ladies behave. U can still tame ur wife Nd mould her to at least what u want. As for ur in-laws,they can only ride u if u re too soft. My in-laws tried such with me but I gave them fire for fire,now they re even scared of coming to my house without permission. Be strong,the devil will always want to come in between gud things. Also be prayerful.

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Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2017

Nma27:
You are already married. Halting your white wedding means nothing. Take charge like a man! She shout at you, you give her one resounding slap unless she's d breadwinner... Look before una leap

is dat so... When u get home today, i will give u dat resounding slap for always yellin at me

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by mmachi96(f): 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

My dear i want to remind u that marriage is not what u will jump in and jump out at will......is only death that is permitted to separate the both of u for us Christians. Since u've seen her true character, it is better to halt the marriage and run for ur dear life than to regret it all the days of ur life. A broken relationsjip is better than a broken marriage.

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Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by shineeye1: 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

Trade and court..?

You don enter , my guy.

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by olayinkajnr(m): 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017, sent you a pm. Kindly respond pls

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by MissRaine69(f): 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2017

sweatlana:
Walk away from what? He is already married.

This is not boyfriend and girlfriend matter o

If he doesn't want the marriage again there are things that must be done!

I had not finished writing when you commented.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Juzzybabe(f): 12:05pm On Aug 12, 2017

Make a delay on the white wedding even though you people are already married. While you delay, make sure you act like like a man and your voice be respected by her. As a matter of fact, do everything possible to make sure you are in total control of the woman you married and if nothing works, go and undo the court stuff.

Your case is somehow similar to mine, like the first poster said, if her family does not respect you, or fear God, who will you report her offenses to?

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Reference(m): 12:07pm On Aug 12, 2017

yvesboss:
You are married already.. at least according to the law and custom .. So you are in it already.

Which law and custom is that. If his name is not in any registry recognised by law courts he has not married. What rubbish tradition is that. To eat kolanut and drink vodka means what....abegi.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:07pm On Aug 12, 2017

sukkot:
well we dont know if he has had sex with her now. so we cant know for a fact if he is married to her or not

Are u kidding us? After traditional and no sex? Is d guy sterile? They've scattered themselves wella. The op should man up and take charge!

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Adorbs: 12:08pm On Aug 12, 2017

@op
I say this all the time when it comes to marriage you should be selfish.
Yes being selfish about your happiness isn't a bad thing, don't marry out of pity, or because of what the society will say. Marry for your self alone.
Look at it this way, right from childhood, people around you had always made your decisions for you, starting from your immediate family on what to wear, which school to go to, sometimes your course in the university are determined by some authoritarian parents.
Marriage is the one out of the few times, you get to exercise your will in making a lifetime decision for your self, be as selfish as you want, your happiness matters.
But as you have done trad and court wedding already, you just have to sit her down and talk to her since this behaviour of hers started recently, you might also need to check if there has been any change from your side to have prompted such.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Reference(m): 12:09pm On Aug 12, 2017

okirewaju:
You have done trad and court na

Man up jare, you are married already.

Either you divorce her or carry your cross.

He has indeed gone to court. This was a big mistake. The court should be the last place. You have a big battle on your hands. Suspend it nonetheless and resume your courtship. Donot acquire more legal liability.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by ngwaba(m): 12:10pm On Aug 12, 2017

Something must be very wrong with you. Didn't you notice all this when you were dating? Wetin concern us with your matter?

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Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by sukkot: 12:11pm On Aug 12, 2017

Nma27:
Are u kidding us? After traditional and no sex? Is d guy sterile? They've scattered themselves wella. The op should man up and take charge!

They may be ' born again SU now. some people actually only have sex after they have signed the wedding license.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by johnson232: 12:13pm On Aug 12, 2017

Reference:
Suspend it. Your courtship is not over yet and a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. Sort out this matter before going before a judge.

Exactly!!!
God bless u.
At dis stage things can still be controlled, but when kids start coming in, it becomes complicated.

Op i know u are a weak man, that was why it got to this point.
I will advise u like a brother, DO NOT PROCEED ANY FURTHER, HAVING PEACE OF MIND IS PARAMOUNT....

I leave u with these bible verses;
Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

Proverbs 27:15-16 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike. Trying to keep her in check is like stopping a wind storm or grabbing oil with your right hand.

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by linearity: 12:14pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

You are asking the wrong question, if you have done court wedding you are already married...Your question should be; should you annul the marriage or divorce her - depending on your mileage.

Annulment is always better for marriages with short life span as yours, but check the criteria for that under the jurisdiction where you stay.

Back to the meat of your wife...if you guys are not yet 'married' and you are feeling this way, it will only get worst when she gets in. No one in their right mind enters into a contract they have a bad feelings about. Marriage is complicated, it is not a bed of roses, and you definitely does not want to give birth to/and bring up kids under this condition. Take a step back, and suspend the white wedding, afterwards look into annulment.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Adorbs: 12:16pm On Aug 12, 2017

ngwaba:
Something must be very wrong with you. Didn't you notice all this when you were dating? Wetin concern us with your matter?

I don't think he did, for he stated it started suddenly after court and traditional wedding.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Memories12411: 12:18pm On Aug 12, 2017

White wedding? Are you a white guy? Consider the traditions of your land first before talking about a foreign tradition. By all standards you are legally married all you can do now to separate from her is divorce. From all indications you are a Christian and I guess you know what it means to be divorced. Did you take time to pray or you just did what you felt was good for you because of the physical beauty and romance that blindfolded you. Prayers before choosing a marriage partner helps us to see beyond the surface of that person's life. However, it is not late for you to go into prayers and God will surely direct you. I want to believe God wants to use this issue to draw you closer to him. God is the only answer to your situation.

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:19pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

Went through ur former threads abt d lady. She's obviously out of your league. You went for dem rich spoilt brat. If I were u, I'll ask dem to gimme my brideprice back. Plus you are weak, I'm sure any movement from u and she'll run to her rich daddy to report. OYO things

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by uzoormah(m): 12:20pm On Aug 12, 2017

Pls leave her unless u want her to command u in front of ur younger sister and ur parents..its nt easy bt u can stop it now!!

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Burgerlomo: 12:22pm On Aug 12, 2017

But why did you enter the one chance vehicle in the first place, or do you want to tell me that you didn't see any clue that you're about to enter one chance? Well God will give you the knowledge and wisdom to deal with the situation. Ayam not understanding.

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:23pm On Aug 12, 2017

Smallville10:
is dat so... When u get home today, i will give u dat resounding slap for always yellin at me

Error.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Dagoma: 12:24pm On Aug 12, 2017

You can do away with her even on wedding day, unless if you want to ruin your life forever.

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:26pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

In the first place why waste your money on church wedding when you have done court and traditional wedding?. Since she's domineering as alleged by you, I suspect you're doing some things she and her family doesn't like. You haven't stated the reason for her attitude because with that some of us will be able to proffer solutions. It's possible you're the one domineering so she got tired and decided to reply you.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:27pm On Aug 12, 2017

olayinkajnr:
Plankton2017, sent you a pm. Kindly respond pls

wanna help reset his wife's faculties? Well, he needs someone to talk to.
Where are his family that stopped him from marrying his ex just because of tribe huh? Now he's suffering d consequence of doing what family wants...

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by InvertedHammer: 12:28pm On Aug 12, 2017

Plankton2017:
Good day all,

My wife to be's character has been terrible since we did our trad. Now I dont know if I should halt my wedding plans slated for this Saturday.

Her and her family are very domineering and rude. She shouts at me at the top of her voice and does not respect me. I have done Trad and Court wedding. what can I do for God's sake

/
I guess your question should be: Acid burns, should I pour it on myself?
The whole is deep but you can't stop digging until you get to the point of no return. A bad wife will destroy your destiny.

There you have it.
\

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by hayboss: 12:28pm On Aug 12, 2017

I bet the guy was just joking or could it be last minute jitters? Not sure I have read his response after his post. However, i strongly believe the guy needs to mature psychologically to have peace of mind in the union. I am sure he is most likely enjoying his wedding ceremony already. Cancel gini? Na so dem dey cancel?

My post my opinion!

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Dagoma: 12:30pm On Aug 12, 2017

babythug:
Even though you're more or less already married it's better you call off the last ceremony until the issues are resolved or not!

Dont wait till children are included in the mix and it's more complicated.

You'd survive the backlash and gossip that will follow never mind

If you refuse this advice, don't come back here in this forum to disturb us about your broken home.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Adorbs: 12:30pm On Aug 12, 2017

[quote author=Eketem post=59344419]You have been lamenting since yet you went ahead to get LEGALLY married.

You will lament people will advice you will return and continue drama.

You keep comparing her mentally with your ex, your parents who approved of this one because of tribe should you how to manage this one. Leave Nairaland alone with your constant lamentations.

You are legally married for your information, church wedding is merely blessing.

https://www.nairaland.com/3710027/should-break-off-engagement-go[/quote]
It is true ooo, this man has never been happy in the relationship from get go shocked

, but despite all the advice, he still went ahead with the court wedding, @op why nau?
I don't know what to say again sef undecided

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:30pm On Aug 12, 2017

Nma27:
Error.

that profile picture is so cute... Love them... Which one are u... grin

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Nobody: 12:30pm On Aug 12, 2017

Gaggi:
At your age you want faceless people to advice you on a life long journey that only you are involved in. Was she forced on you in the first place? You didn't date her? That's how one lady is thinking of divorce after just one month of marriage. What the hell is wrong with people? Marriage isn't for everyone.

The truth of the matter is that you can't everything about a person. There are some traits that are hidden till God knows when.Marriage is for better for worst but most couples say that with their lips without having to think of the consequence

Re: Help!!! Should I Go On With My White Wedding? by Lassun01: 12:31pm On Aug 12, 2017

PaperLace:
Dear OP,

Whether you cancel the white wedding or not _ you're already married. Marriage isn't relationship where you can waltz in and out as you like. It's an oath, binding on both parties.

Be careful how you bring your issues to the public, considering that your mind is currently fragile. The general rule, may not apply to your situation. I don't think any responsible married person would tell you to walk away so soon. I have domineering in-laws too, your wife's whole family can never be as rude as my FIL alone _ but you handle such people with wisdom (now that you're already married). If you weren't married, I would have said run.

The early days of most marriages are like this. One person will always see the other as a demon, while painting him/herself as the angel. You are not an angel, I am sure your wife would sound just as bitter as you, if she creates her own thread. What you have to do is win your wife to your side. Once you genuinely win your wife to your side, she would handle her family.

The last post on your wife and SIL, you didn't do well.
If that's your own attitude, then you and your wife need orientation. Why does your wife shout? Is she a mad woman? Has she always been like this? What is she always shouting about?

My husband also doesn't know how to discuss in low tones, he must raise his voice. I used to join him, until I sat and thought about it _two people no dey mad at the same time. He did it again and I ignored, I politely told him he is embarrassing US and we would talk when he is calm. He still repeated it and I used all my self-control to keep ignoring.

One day, he called me and asked why I have been refusing to get angry. I started laughing and we had a talk that changed a lot till this moment. People like that know what they are doing to a good extent, the best medicine for them is to show them how normal people express themselves. Don't come down to their level, don't go begging unnecessarily _ just express yourself firmly.
When you do this over and over, they'll come to revere your silence and few words.

You mould your spouse to be who you want them to be. There is really no perfect spouse at first, but we mould them to our perfection with time.

Captain your ship as best as you can _all with the dignity of a king.

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