₦airaland Forum

FortuneTeller:
LOL. My husband is an avid reader. It's part of his career. I have books for him on this. He took one look at them and put them back in the closet. My husband is not going to change. So the only thing I have the power to change is me. Surprisingly I met someone but I'm pregnant. So I will have to wait until delivery. Enjoy your day.

femi4:
why not separate from him before you start anything with the other guy

FortuneTeller:
Why not tell that to all the cheating Nigerian men? Every Nigerian men should separate from his wife before he cheats. That includes you, your father, your uncles and your brothers. When you deliver this message to the country of Nigeria, come back to me with the answers you received.

lastmessenger:
Sorry for being harsh in my previous post,that was only meant to awaken your sense of awareness that life is far beyond what you are crying about.

I do not know when or why your husband suddenly changed his disposition toward you but whatever the reason maybe I do not care to know.


My concern is that you deserve to be happy and that can be found whether your husband is there or not.


OK let tell me share a line of thought that you know already and that is the fact that energy is life and is an external delight. Anything you can feel and touch in this life is as a result of energy being expended by a source. That means that every expended energy seeks to achieve a result.

Your emotion is energy.your love is for your husband is emotional energy. Hence hence your frustration is coming because your energy toward him is not yielding result.

Here is my advice to you,channel that emotional energy into something else. Have a passion for something else. You are a graduate, you can decide to enrole in a postgraduate course and learn something new and you can even go ahead and get a PhD while he there sleeping alone on a couch. I mean do something that will make him feel you have a plan that is far beyond him. Occupy your time and emotion into something more meaningful. Do you know why chimamanda adichie is a world renowned novelist? The reason is because she is passionate about what she does.Every success you is because of energy channeled properly and yielding result.

The simple advice am given you is use that energy you have for loving your husband into something else and do it like your life depends on it.forget about cheating him with a random guy out there as that will not bring the ultimate solution. Because in the end you will still feel being used.

Oyindidi:
Brokenangel2, it is well my dear. God will give us the strength to bear our crosses. Your own better, you've done it twice this year. Can't remember the last time I had sex. I get used to it and life goes on. I believe I have what it takes to bear what I'm going through, I'm a virgin in my own world. The urge died and I'm happy cos I don't remember there's something like sex in marriage. He'll say marriage is not all about sex, I'll say yes sir! You are lucky to be married to me. People won't believe I'm going through such. My mum wept when I told her due to her constant nagging for another grandchild. I told her av not had sex in years... She wept cos I never mentioned it to her. Just be strong, all will be well. I'm saying all this to encourage you, stop watching porn it will do more harm than good. Don't stop praying, make God your companion. I had accident few days ago and when I got home, I didn't get the least hug. Its that bad but I hold on to my God....

robosky02:
so sorry for you

hugs

hope you are not too nurt

femi4:
Haba, two wrongs doesn't make a right. We still have faithful men so don't generalise.

Its a shame your Hubby, Father, Uncle, brothers and other guys you ve met doesn't belong to that category

FortuneTeller:
I'm sure you don't either "femi".

Jahblessme:
Oyindidi how are you coping?
Your story is awful and it is sheer wickedness.
I nor fit o,lailai.
If you fall for someone now vultures will come out to attack you not realising you've suffered for years
I'm so sorry.kaii

ebonflexy:
I don't get. Am I supposed to feel ashamed?
Ofcourse I'm a freak. You didn't know before?
Keep "investigating" my posts and you might have to cum before the night is up.
The black female body is a beautiful thing.

And you are a novice if you think a man that loves his ass getting ate is gay.
Your husband is to blame for not having already turned you into the pervert you crave to be.
I believe we are both freaks, but you're just too chic to admit it.
When you're done with the baby thing, hit me up, and I'll make you crave pleasuring me.
I'll use and abuse you so well baby.

FortuneTeller:
LOL. My husband is an avid reader. It's part of his career. I have books for him on this. He took one look at them and put them back in the closet. My husband is not going to change. So the only thing I have the power to change is me. Surprisingly I met someone but I'm pregnant. So I will have to wait until delivery. Enjoy your day.

Vivly:
Don't. Trust me, do not. You'll forever regret it.

FortuneTeller:
LOL. My husband is an avid reader. It's part of his career. I have books for him on this. He took one look at them and put them back in the closet. My husband is not going to change. So the only thing I have the power to change is me. Surprisingly I met someone but I'm pregnant. So I will have to wait until delivery. Enjoy your day.

Brokenangel2:
do you have any idea that the post the person you quoted was referring to was not mine? Try and go through previous comments before quoting people. As for talking about myself in "several paragraphs"... I was only trying to make clear that I have the qualities most men desire in a woman. Do I damage my husband with my tongue? The answer is in one of my previous comments... my parents prepared me for marriage. I'm among the few who knows what a Godly marriage entails. Thanks for your contribution.

FortuneTeller:
Why not tell that to all the cheating Nigerian men? Every Nigerian men should separate from his wife before he cheats. That includes you, your father, your uncles and your brothers. When you deliver this message to the country of Nigeria, come back to me with the answers you received.

FortuneTeller:
LOL. My husband is an avid reader. It's part of his career. I have books for him on this. He took one look at them and put them back in the closet. My husband is not going to change. So the only thing I have the power to change is me. Surprisingly I met someone but I'm pregnant. So I will have to wait until delivery. Enjoy your day.

Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.

konfused:
Retrace your steps, when did this start, what was the trigger, has he always been like that? Something must have happened before he started this odd behaviour.


Maybe when you get the root cause, you can now tackle the symptoms.

I think you guys should plan and go for a vacation together, just the two of you, leave the kids with your parents, all things being equal, the spark might be reignited.

Goodluck.

teemy:
For one to now what to do and refuses to do it while making another suffer it's effect s beyond me sometimes. I hope he listens. Wish you all the best dear but just keep in mind that you should have no regrets in whatever you decide to do in life. Cheers

sisisioge:
Baby... I swearit, fear always catch me whenever I read this account from you. Is he so old already? You don't wanna kiss him anymore? What about BJ? They all love it, he would defo do whatever you want if you do that right. Chai! I'm still fearing o.

@OP...I am hands-tied. Don't know what to say. But that guy is sure having plenty of fun outside. Whew!

701ecilana:
A friend, a guy confided in me that, he doesn't enjoy sex with ladies. He has never cum having sex with a woman even if he is on it for a whole day, lai lai.

If you like be mami wata, na you sabi.

His mind doesn't even go to sex sef. I asked if he was gay? He said no, but men both young and old are begging him promising heaven and earth.

He Said, once a friend slept over his house and at night he starting touching him, kissing his body, he starting enjoying it, had an erection before remembering he was a man and pushed him off. He is afraid, if he ever tries it with a man, he will enjoy it and cum, hence remaining over there.

Tell me, if a man like this marries a woman tomorrow, what will her fate be? Won't that woman die staved?

Many women are married to bisexuals who enjoy sex more with men than with women.
That could be the case of this man.

FortuneTeller:
The man is definitely GAY.

701ecilana:
I told him that, he said he wasn't.

FortuneTeller:
I don't think it would matter as long as I kept it private and didn't divorce him. I've told him several times but he takes it as a joke. He says I should be careful because HIV is out there.

701ecilana:
It's a lie. No......, are you serious? A religious fanatic said you shd be careful how you commit adultery because of HIV? My sister, you are in trouble.

FortuneTeller:
My dear, if you knew my husband you would understand. Firstly he is not going to cause an argument. He also knows religious rhetoric does not sway me. So his solution is to scare me with the threat of HIV.

FortuneTeller:
He's not going to admit to it. The evidence is that he can't get aroused by a woman but he can with a man. Eventually he will just keep a private relationship with a man. I pray that he doesn't trap an innocent woman into marriage.

MizzD:
Women have too much to give in marriage and this really bothers me. The moment you get married, you get pressured into having kids. You successfully achieve that, you worry about nurturing them, sometimes career sacrifices are made for these kids. You endure sleepless nights to nuture these kids, and while sacrificing it all, you have to worry about getting your body (Tommy, vagina, what have you) back in shape to prevent your husband from straying. You worry about picking up your career or academics where you left it.

If you're unable to bear kids or choose to delay a little to focus more on your career, you are also at a risk of losing this man to aspiring baby mamas or crazy exes.

You are also expected to bring something to the table hustle with the man, while you perform all wifely duties alongside. Sometimes i think these sacrifices can be so challenging and when a woman is unfortunate to have a husband who doesn't appreciate all that is done to keep it all together, you begin to wonder if it's ever really worth it.

Madam Op, the solution to your problem lies between you two. If your husband does not encourage verbal communication, pls write to him. There's no point reaching out to him via social media when you can pen all these frustrations down for him to read too.

Except you are being punished for a sin or you married a robot, you should demand and get a response / reaction or whatever and then you take it from there. Be firm and sort things out. Demand answers. Be ready to accept and admit your flaws. Address ALL related and unrelated issues that got you both to this stage and get yourself out of this misery. The outcome of your communication will determine your next line of action.

Lastly, if you keep nursing the thoughts of killing anyone, pls stay away from that environment to cool off. We have enough murder cases biko.

Brokenangel2:
A lot of people still don't understand what I meant when I said I've tried everything to make him open up. About making meals... I have a job which gets me back home on time to get food ready. How did he start sleeping in the sitting room? I can't explain it, from watching movies late into the night to "I had a stressful day, just allow me to chill a little here". I can't count how many times I came to wake him to join me inside. He comes in sometimes, other times he gets angry and ask me to leave him. He placed a password on his phone years back, I did all I could to make him see reasons why it's not necessary yet he refused and will rather pick a fight. Initially he calls to inform me he'll be home late if something comes up. Now he doesn't even tell me his whereabouts. I should get back in shape? I'm in shape already.. . I wasn't joking when I said most single ladies have nothing on me. I begged him to join all these social platforms but a lot has changed since he eventually did. I've lost count of waking him up even at night to talk but he won't let that happen, he'll rather humiliate me. Stop asking me to look back and retrace this whole thing. I've done that a gazillion times, yet I can't pinpoint anything. I'm not a saint but the truth is that my parents prepared me for marriage. I came into it with a mindset of making it perfect. I came into it with the knowledge of how to make a man happy for the rest of his life.. . But it's heartbreaking to say I married a man who doesn't need any of that. How else am I supposed to know what the problem is? This is killing me

701ecilana:
Oh My God. This scares me to bits. For how long are you gonna be like this?